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DOWN THE MAIN STREET of Kainui they walked, armed with a sign that said Support Our Team $2 a Bag, a poster of a multi-coloured rugby league shirt, and two small, laminated squares of pink cardboard that gave their names and said ‘Official Fundraiser, Kainui School’. Yet Randy was quaking inside as they entered the Zap-Zone and looked around for Barry Boyd.
Eek! There he was, talking to a wacky-looking woman in a shiny yellow dress with little rainbow-coloured puffs sticking out around its edges. She had shoes and hair to match. What a Weirdo. Definitely not a local.
The boys hesitated, trying to suss out whether it was a good time to approach Boyd, and so they slowed down and stopped nearby, listening shamelessly to the adults' conversation.
"No-problem," the city lady was saying, waving a thin arm about at all the flickering video games. "It's just to get the camera angles you understand but the crew will put it all back again; yeah." She spoke very fast.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh . . ." Boyd was saying thoughtfully, then he seemed to make up his mind about something. "Yeah, why not! As you say, it’ll put the place on the map!"
"Great," said the lady, handing him a folder. "This is our standard agreement it covers everything get it back to me ASAP call me if you have any problems we shoot in three weeks I'll be in touch before then nice to meet you!"
She turned and almost collided with Randy and Piho.
"Oh, sorry!" they all said simultaneously. And in that brief moment her flickering eyes seemed to photograph their sign, their poster and their T-shirts in about three micro-seconds.
"Hmm." She peered closely at Beau’s garish poster. "That's good," she said, tapping it twice, tok-tok, with a long yellow fingernail, "very good!" And off she went, click-click-click in her rainbow-coloured high-heels across the Zap-Zone floor and out the main door. At the same time something also clicked in Randy's overworked little brain: that wacky-looking woman was almost certainly one of the movie people Beau had been talking about earlier.
Randy noticed Piho making eyes at him. He grinned and rolled his own eyes and waggled a finger near his ear as if to say, "yeah, what a weirdo! But that wasn't what Piho was making eyes about. It was Barry Boyd, standing right behind Randy.
"Yes, boys?"
Randy leaped with fright and the poster board dropped on its corner to the floor. As he fumbled to pick it up, Piho started talking. "Hi, I'm Piho Waitere and this is Randalf Cathro, and we're raising funds for – " Vroom!
Good old Gift-of-the-gab Piho Waitere. This was why Randy needed him! So he breathed a sigh of relief and did his best to hide behind the poster, hoping Boyd wouldn't recognise him. This was going better than he had expected!
But Boyd turned out to be a tough cookie. "So what's in it for me?" he asked as soon as Piho had finished.
"Well ..." Piho answered slowly, and for the first time ever Randy saw him stuck for words. Quickly he tried to help.
'Ahh, like – it's a prize."
"Right, yeah, I get that," said Boyd sarcastically. "But what I want to know is, what do I get out of it?"
"Ahhh – it'll put your place on the map!" tried Randy.
Boyd snorted. "Hah!"
"It'll promote you to all the kids at our school?"
Boyd shook his head, "I've already got that."
"Well," shrugged Randy. "What do you want?"
"Let me just ask you a theoretical question," said Boyd, folding his arms and smiling smugly. "If you played here all day for free, how much do you reckon you would spend?"
"That's easy," laughed Randy. "nothing!"
The joke went down like a brick balloon. Piho gave him a dirty look.
"Let me put it another way," growled Boyd. "How much would I not make if I let this theoretical prize winner play here all day for free?"
"Nothing again!" laughed Randy, trying to retrieve his first bum joke. "Hah-hah, hah... ahh ... huh, er, I mean, like, seriously, what kid's ever got that much money?"
'Ah!" said Boyd. "Now we're getting down to the nitty-gritty."
Piho let his face fall. He looked sadly down at his shoes and sighed almost silently. "Oh well," he murmured. "I guess, y'know, I suppose..." He let his voice trail off. 'C'mon, Randy, let's go tell Mr Tully the bad news." Piho turned for the exit like he was very, very dejected.
But Randy stayed on. He'd had a gutsful of Boyd's attitude and he went ballistic! "Listen, mister!" he spluttered. "You've got a bad attitude! I'm gonna tell everyone in school about you and then they'll never come in here again, and – "
Piho grabbed him about then and began hauling him bodily out of the place. "Shut up, you pillock! Shut up!" he hissed.
Boyd laughed. Then, just as Piho was about to eject Randy into the street, he called after them, "It's business, boys, just business! You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. You'll be back, I betcha."
It was nearly five o'clock. The afternoon was pretty well shot. So, according to Piho, was their chance of getting the prize out of Boyd. "What'd you do that for?" he demanded for the umpteenth time as they moved on up the street. "Why?!"
"I dunno," muttered Randy. "He just hacks me off, the smartarse."
'Well, you stuffed it up, man!" spluttered Piho, hopping off the ground in his rage. "Geez! I nearly had him!"
"Oh, chill out," muttered Randy, feeling stupid and tired and sick of the whole thing. "just chill out, alright? "
"No, I won't chill out! I've had it with you! Had it! Here!" He handed Randy the Support Our Team sign. "I'm jacking it in!"
"Hang on!" said Randy suddenly. "Look, it's the movie lady!"
Sure enough, just a few shops up the street was the lady in the shiny yellow rubbish bag with attached bath cleaners, talking to some guy and waving her hands about.
"So?" snapped Piho, ready to leave.
"Well, she liked the poster," said Randy hopefully, "so maybe she'll want to support our cause. Maybe..."
"Oh, get real!" groaned Piho.
"You've gotta give it a chance!" huffed Randy.
"Not me!" said Piho firmly. "You got into this mess. Get yourself out of it for a change!"
"Okay," said Randy angrily, 'I will!"
He started boldly up the street, Beau's poster held like a shield under his chin, but as he got closer to the movie lady he felt his bravado beginning to die. He nearly stopped, until he remembered Piho behind him, waiting for the pleasure of seeing Randy Cathro wimp out again. Well Piho just wasn't going to get that pleasure today!
"Um, excuse me, Miss ..." he began.
"Oh, oh, here it is now!" the lady squealed, pointing excitedly at the poster. "Look at that! Isn't that just the most amazing coincidence?" The man looked, and Randy looked too, wondering just what she was on about. That was how he missed noticing who the guy was.
"Wow!" the movie dude said softly. "Yes, I see what you mean. Incredible!"
"I think it fits brilliantly," she went on. "The colours, the fitness angle, the youth market, the self-enterprise message. Show him the other one, the other one, yeah, yeah, that one. Look - 'Support Our Team'. Isn't it just perfect?"
"Well, it's pretty late to start changing the concept..." said the man a little doubtfully.
"But we're not changing the concept," she said, her voice speeding up, "just the details. Look, change that to 'Two Dollars a Pop' and it 's perfect!"
"Hmm ..." said the man while Randy continued looking at the poster wondering just what the hell they were talking about.
"Yes, yes, you're right, it really does have quite a beautiful synergy."
"And if you could find those two boys ..." said the lady.
"Yes!" said the man, grasping at the air in front of Randy's face and squeezing his hand into a fist. "If I could just get my hands on those two boys ...!"
A bucket of iced water couldn't have shocked Randy more. He looked up quickly to stare for one awful moment into the man's face. It was that guy from the splattered van! The one who had yelled "I want you boys!"
"Ahhhh!" said Randy in horror.
"Ahhhh!" said the man in delight, his eyes popping wide.
"Here," said Randy quickly, thrusting the poster into the guy's hands, "Have it!" Then he ran like crazy, weaving through the late afternoon shoppers towards Piho, shouting, "Run, man! It's him!" Piho looked. Piho saw. Piho ran.
Behind them they heard a shout, "Hey, wait!"
They didn't wait.
"Stop!" shouted the man more loudly.
They didn't stop.
"But you don't understand!" the man yelled after them.
Oh yes they did. They understood all too well. They also knew their own town. It took them only five seconds to dash down a side alley, three seconds to duck through a hole in a fence, eight seconds to run through an overgrown empty section and another six to get completely lost from sight in a culvert under the railway track.
One minute later they were three streets away, puffing and gasping and oozing stinky water from their shoes.
"Phew! That was close!" said Piho.
"Too close!" agreed Randy, still remembering that grasping fist in front of his face.
"Oh no!" cried Randy suddenly, smacking himself on the forehead with his hand.
"What? What?" asked Piho anxiously, "What?"
Randy slumped, defeated. "We're in deep poo, man! Deepest, darkest doo-doo."
"How come?"
Randy plucked at the front of his T-shirt, waggling the laminated pink ID badge in front of Piho's eyes: RANDY CATHRO; OFFICIAL COLLECTOR; KAINUI HIGH SCHOOL.
"Arrrrrgh!"