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IT HAD BEEN A LONG afternoon, but Katrina was proud of all that she had accomplished. The laundry was folded and put away, and the only mess in the kitchen was one last batch of dishes drying on the counter that she’d clear first thing in the morning. As long as she could learn to keep up with these daily tasks and didn’t fall behind, she could keep the house presentable so her husband wouldn’t end up embarrassed anymore.
She’d been working on her attitude too. Just like she didn’t want to let the chores pile up, she didn’t want to let unconfessed sins set up a stronghold in her spirit again. She had to be constantly on guard against resentment. That would probably be her biggest struggle here in Orchard Grove, but if she conquered bitterness and learned to interact cheerfully with the members of her church, it’d be a huge spiritual victory.
She and Greg hadn’t had any major blowups today. With only about half an hour left to go before they turned off the lights, they might finally make it through at least one day without some major marital catastrophe.
She brushed her teeth and got into bed. After the miscarriage, she’d grown somewhat lax in her daily Bible reading and was trying to get back into the habit. The problem was she didn’t know where to start. Maybe something from Isaiah since that was the book Grandma Lucy had quoted so much during her Sunday prayer time.
Greg came in with a half smile and started changing into his flannel pajama pants. When they moved to Orchard Grove, he’d had the slightest roll of pudge around his midsection, which now had disappeared. Hopefully that was because she was a nutritious cook and not a terrible one.
“Have a good day?” He sat on the side of the bed. He’d been behind on his sermon prep this evening and had eaten dinner in his office, so this was one of the first times all day they found themselves together.
“Things went well.” She thumbed through Isaiah, hoping for a passage that would catch her eye.
“You tired?” Greg asked, which was his usual way of finding out if she was feeling particularly romantic.
“A little.”
He leaned forward and reached under the bed. “Well, don’t go to sleep yet because I have an early Christmas present for you.” He pulled out a gift bag with baby blue and yellow polka dots on a pastel background.
“I thought we weren’t going to spend the money on gifts this year.” Katrina set her Bible down.
“It wasn’t that expensive. You want to open it now?”
“It’s a little early.”
He shrugged. “Go ahead.”
Tentatively, she reached for the bag and pulled out a somewhat generic looking teddy bear. Not exactly what she had envisioned, but at least he was right about one thing. It wouldn’t destroy their budget.
“It’s really cute.” She tried to infuse her voice with some facsimile of enthusiasm. “Thank you.”
Greg took the stuffed animal out of her hands. “There’s more.” He turned it around and showed Katrina a zipper on its back. “Open it up.”
The hole was so small once she got it unzipped she could only dig around with her fingers to find out what was in it. She pulled out a folded piece of glossy paper and opened it up. She knew that familiar image. The eight-week ultrasound the doctor had taken to confirm her pregnancy. “What’s this for?”
He leaned over and gave the scarcely identifiable jellybean in the picture a soft caress with his finger. “I was reading this website the other day about grieving after miscarriage, and this was one of the ideas that came up. We never had a funeral or burial or anything, so I thought this might be a good way to remember our baby.”
He reached into the small zipper pouch in the bear’s back and pulled out another piece of paper. He didn’t unfold it but held it up in his hand. “I wrote a letter. I felt silly when I started, but I think it was good for me. You can write something too if you want and keep it in here. But you don’t have to.”
Katrina was curious to find out what her husband might have written in his letter, but he tucked the paper back into the zipper pouch.
“That was a great idea. I love it.” Katrina leaned in to give her husband a hug. “Thank you.”
He frowned at her sympathetically. “You’re not gonna start crying now, are you?”
“No, I wasn’t planning on it.”
He wrapped his arm around her. “Because you know I’m here for you.”
She burrowed her face against his chest, slightly embarrassed that she wasn’t as emotional as he apparently expected her to be. “Now I need to think of something to give you.”
“You don’t have to get me anything.” He kissed the top of her head. “Everything I’ve always wanted is right here.”