In sacred Hindu lore goddess, earth, and woman are perceived as extensions of the same material reality. Their creative energy, rasa, ebbs and flows as devas battle their eternal enemies, the asuras. When devas win, the goddess smiles; earth and women are ready to receive seed. When they lose, asuras sap rasa, the goddess frowns, the fields dry up, and women menstruate. The resulting cycle of fertility is known as ritu.
To support devas and harness the benevolent energies of Nature, a magical draft known as soma was prepared during Vedic yagnas. This soma was the earthly counterpart of amrita, nectar of immortality, that had transformed devas long ago into gods of light, life, and order:
The adityas, sons of Brahma by Aditi, sought to churn out amrita from the ocean of milk. The enterprise required the cooperation of their eternal enemies, the daityas, sons of Brahma by Diti. Meru, the axis of space, was used as the spindle and Adi-Anata-Sesha, the serpent of time, served as the rope of the cosmic churn. Akupara, the turtle who supports the universe on his back, served as the base of the churn and prevented Meru from sinking. The two sets of divine spirits acted as the force and the counterforce. When the nectar of immortality emerged, Vishnu, the champion of the adityas, took the form of the enchantress Mohini, bewitched the daityas with looks of passion, and poured every drop of amrita down the throats of the adityas. Thus the adityas became devas, immortal keepers of fertility. Deprived of the drink, the daityas remained asuras, “demons who were denied nectar.” The devas drove the asuras into the netherworld, claimed the magnificent gifts that emerged from the sea, and rose to the celestial spheres known as svarga, where they built the fabulous city of Amravati.
Mahabharata, Ramayana
The ocean of milk is matter in a state of entropy. The devas agitate its still waters and draw out gifts that transforms svarga into a realm of eternal life and endless joy. Man may not have eternity, but he does have a lifetime to enjoy the wonders of samsara. Earth is his ocean of milk. By tilling it, he can churn out all that he desires. But to enjoy it, he needs woman.
Woman gives man access to samsara. Through her womb the dead return to the land of the living. In her arms man finds pleasure. In pleasure he acquires family and becomes lord of the household. Family responsibilities give man the moral right to own property and wield power. A wife is the key to worldly pleasure, kama, and worldly power, artha. She is therefore referred to as Griha-Laxmi, the household goddess of fortune, a diminutive double of Maha-Laxmi, the cosmic goddess of fortune, who gave devas all that they desired when she emerged from the ocean of milk:
As the gods and demons churned the ocean of milk, rasa coagulated and began to take wonderful shapes. Laxmi, the goddess of abundance and affluence, emerged dressed in red, bedecked in gold, seated on a thousand-petaled dew-drenched lotus. Dhanavantari, the god of health, stood beside her holding a pot containing the nectar of immortality, amrita. To enjoy the eternal life guaranteed by amrita, the goddess brought along many magnificent gifts. There were gifts that guaranteed prosperity—Kamadhenu, the cow whose udders were always filled with milk; Kalpataru, the tree whose branches were always laden with fruit; Chintamani, the priceless wish-fulfilling gem. There were gifts offering pleasure—Chandra, the handsome moon-god; Rambha, a ravishing nymph well versed in the erotic arts; Varuni, the goddess of wine. There were also gifts of power—Airavata, the six-tusked white-skinned royal elephant; Ucchaishrava, the virile seven-headed battle horse that always broke through enemy lines; Saranga, the bow that never missed its target; Panchajanya, the conch-trumpet that scared away rivals. With these gifts, the goddess brought worldly joy into the wheel of existence.
Padma Purana,
Bhagvata Purana, Laxmi Tantra
The tale of Laxmi’s emergence from the ocean is an integral part of the Hindu narrative tradition. It is found in almost every sacred book and is recounted during wedding ceremonies. By capturing the Hindu vision of paradise—where there is eternal health, wealth, power, and pleasure—it suppresses the fear of death, change, and hopelessness. For the death-fearing celestial beings, the goddess Laxmi offers what a woman, at a microcosmic level, is believed to bring into a household— the promise and pleasure of worldly life.
The gods and demons churning Laxmi, the goddess of wealth and fortune, out of the ocean of milk. Karnataka painting; popular craft from Mysore. Twentieth century.
Without a woman, according to Hindu scriptures, a man can only be a brahmachari, a chaste student, or a sanyasi, a celibate hermit. Without a woman by his side, a man is forbidden from performing yagnas. Only when he is a grihastha, or householder, do gods accept his gifts and bestow him favor. The wife is sowbhagyavati, “bearer of good fortune.” She is like the goddess whose absence creates havoc in the heavens:
Rambha offered the sage Durvasa a garland of celestial flowers. Durvasa decided to give it to Indra, king of the devas. Indra was too drunk to appreciate the gift. He placed the garland on the trunk of his elephant Airavata. Airavata threw it on the floor. Ucchaishrava, the seven-headed horse of Indra, walked over it. Infuriated, Durvasa cursed Indra that he would lose Laxmi’s favor. Instantly, the goddess returned to the ocean of milk. Kalpataru withered. Kamadhenu refused to shed milk. Chintamani lost its luster. To win her back, the devas had to once more churn the ocean of milk.
Brahmavaivarta Purana
When a new bride steps into her husband’s house for the first time, dressed in red, bedecked with flowers, jewels, and sixteen love charms, conches are blown and grains of rice sprinkled. With her comes the happiness of the present generation and hope of the next.
Man incurs a debt as soon as he enters samsara. He owes his existence to his pitris, or forefathers. He must therefore produce offspring and facilitate their reentry into the land of the living. In annual shradha ceremonies men make offerings of rice balls to pitris and reaffirm the promise to fulfill their biological obligation. The rice balls, or pindas, are eaten by crows that, it is said, carry messages to the land of ancestors.
When a man refuses to have anything to do with women, pitris are annoyed. They appear in his dreams and torment him with visions of their suffering until he concedes to their wishes:
One night, the hermit Jaratkaru saw a vision. He saw his forefathers suspended by their heels over a dark abyss. “What can I do to save you?” he asked. “Father sons that we may be reborn,” said the ancestors. Jaratkaru was thus forced to marry and fulfill his biological obligation to his ancestors.
Mahabharata
Because the spirit of ancestors lies locked in the male seed, semen is too precious a body fluid to be wasted. This is one of the many reasons why masturbation is frowned upon in Hinduism:
Uparichara was resting in the forest after a hunt when desire came upon him and he shed his semen on the forest floor. Not wanting to waste it, he wrapped it in a leaf and instructed a parrot to carry it to his beloved wife in the palace that she may place it in her ripe womb.
Mahabharata
Ancestors never appear in a woman’s dream. Although women also owe their existence to forefathers, the debt to ancestors falls squarely on male shoulders. For in the rite of conception, the man performs. A woman merely presents herself. If she does not, she does not gain entry into heaven:
The daughter of sage Kunigarga performed austerities and refused any contact with men. Though she conquered her senses she was not allowed to enter heaven, because she had not performed her worldly duties. When she returned to earth no man would marry her, as she was old and ugly. So she offered half the merits of her austerities to any man who would marry her. The sage Shringavan accepted her offer, married her, and made love to her for one night. The next day she abandoned her body and discovered she could enter heaven.
Mahabharata
A wife rescues her husband from the wrath of pitris. Without her support, he is doomed to rot in the hell called put reserved for childless men. In the following story the wife practices necrophilia to save her husband from such a terrible fate:
King Vyushtiashva died before he could bear any children. His heartbroken widow, Bhadra, did not let his corpse be cremated. She clung to her husband’s dead body day and night and mourned her inability to help him repay his debt to his ancestors. Feeling sorry for her, the gods advised her to lie next to the corpse during her fertile period. Bhadra did as she was told and went on to bear the dead king several illustrious sons.
Mahabharata
The wife is a man’s shakti. She enriches his life. She empowers him to repay his debt to his ancestors. In the microcosm of the household she is the goddess, and he is the god. He sheds his role as Shiva, unites with her as Brahma, and then raises the child as Vishnu.
Sages, after being confronted with the vision of suffering pitris, went to kings and sought their daughters in marriage. In ancient Hindu society, kings were obliged to take care of the worldly needs of hermits. Giving a daughter to a sage or priest who served a king was considered the way of the devas or gods:
The sage Agastya saw his ancestors on the verge of falling into a dark chasm. To save them, Agastya decided to marry. He went to the king of Vidharba, but the king was reluctant to give his daughter Lopamudra to an ascetic. Realizing her father’s predicament, Lopamudra herself asked to be given to Agastya. She discarded her royal robes and followed the hermit to the forest.
Mahabharata
The gift of a girl, or kanya-dan, earned great merit because it was the gift of life. A household without a girl-child was considered incomplete and unfortunate:
For two years the child in Gandhari’s womb showed no signs of coming out. When Gandhari learned that her sister-in-law Kunti, who had become pregnant after her, had already delivered a son, she refused to wait any longer. She ordered her maid to strike her stomach with an iron bar. Out came a ball of flesh, hard and cold as metal. Gandhari sent for the sage Vyasa, who had foretold she would be mother of a hundred sons, and demanded an explanation. Vyasa asked the maid to get a hundred pots of clarified butter. He cut the ball of flesh into tiny pieces and put one piece in each of the pots. After nine months, the pots were broken and Gandhari found a male child in all of them. Thus did Gandhari become mother of a hundred sons. Gandhari, however, longed to nurse a female child. Vyasa read her mind. He had saved one piece of the ball of flesh. Chanting a magic formula, he incubated that piece of flesh in a pot of butter until it turned into a girl-child. Thus was born Gandhari’s daughter, who was named Dushala.
Mahabharata
While giving away daughters, fathers were concerned about their daughters’ welfare:
King Mandhata had fifty daughters. An old but powerful sage called Saubhari asked for one of them in marriage. Unwilling to give away any of his young daughters to this old man, yet afraid to refuse, Mandhata said that the choice should be left to the girls. Divining the king’s discomfort, Saubhari used his powers and transformed himself into an attractive young man. All fifty princesses fell in love with him and wished to be his wife. Saubhari married them all. He then split himself into fifty vigorous husbands and satisfied all fifty princesses, each one believing that he was devoted to her exclusively.
Padma Purana, Vishnu Purana
A father often wondered if the man who married his daughter was strong enough to protect her. Many fathers therefore organized martial competitions and gave their daughters to the champion:
Nagnajit, king of Kosala, invited warriors from all over the land to tame seven of his wildest bulls and win his daughter Satya’s hand in marriage. Kings came, tried, and failed. Finally, Krishna, scion of the Yadava clan, entered the ring. He multiplied his body seven times. With each form, he grabbed a bull by the horns and forced it into submision. Krishna then tied the seven bulls with a rope and dragged them toward Nagnajit as if they were seven toy bulls. Pleased with this display of courage and strength, Nagnajit was more than happy to let Satya marry Krishna.
Bhagvata Purana
Some fathers gave their daughters away to men who defeated them in battle. This was not just a peace offering. The victor was viewed as a stronger man and hence more capable of protecting the daughter:
Krishna went to the forest looking for the Syamantaka gem and traced it to the cave of Jambavan, king of bears. Jambavan refused to part with it without a fight. In the duel that followed, Krishna defeated Jambavan and claimed the gem. Impressed by Krishna’s skill and strength in hand-to-hand combat, Jambavan gave Krishna his daughter Jambhavati’s hand in marriage.
Bhagvata Purana
Sometimes the suitors fought among themselves and the winner of the war took home the bride:
Everyone wanted to marry the princess Balandhara of Kashi. Her father decided that the one who could triumph over all other suitors had the right to marry her. Bhima, the Pandava, rose to the challenge, fought and defeated all the warriors who had assembled at Kashi. He then took Balandhara as his bride. No one dared stop him.
Mahabharata
A princess garlanding (marrying) a prince who wins her hand by triumphing in a martial contest. Madhubani painting; popular style from Bihar. Twentieth century.
Fathers also checked the character of a man before making him son-in-law. Nothing was worse than giving the daughter to a man of loose morals:
The sage Vadanya refused to let Ashtavakra marry his daughter Suprabha until he had paid a visit to the abode of damsels, strirajya, and spoken to its ruler, the beautiful Uttara. When Ashtavakra reached the abode of damsels, located to the north of the Himalayas, Uttara welcomed him enthusiastically. She spoke at length on subjects ranging from love to erotica. When Ashtavakra prepared to leave, she begged him to stay back and marry her. She offered him physical pleasures that were beyond human imagination. Ashtavakra refused, as his heart belonged to Suprabha. Instead of getting angry, Uttara smiled. She revealed that she had been asked by Vadanya to test his resolve. She blessed Ashtavakra and wished him a happy married life.
Mahabharata
Fathers always sought a man with many noble qualities as son-in-law. To entice him into marriage, they offered him a dowry and bedecked the bride with expensive clothes and jewelry. Brahmanas, or members of the priestly class, who were highly educated but were forbidden from possessing worldly wealth, preferred this method of marriage. Hence, this form of marriage was called brahmya-vivah. It became the preferred form of marriage in Hindu society:
After Krishna, the cowherd, killed Kamsa, the king of the Yadavas, the secret of his birth was revealed to all. He was in fact the son of Kamsa’s sister Devaki, who was raised in secret among low-caste cowherds to protect him from his uncle whose nemesis he was destined to be. Though he was ritually purified, educated, and welcomed into the royal fold, many doubted his royal roots. In Dwarka lived a Yadava called Satrajit who possessed a magical gem called Syamantaka that bestowed its owner with good fortune. Krishna admired this gem and advised Satrajit to give it to the Yadava people. Satrajit refused to part with it. He gave it instead to his brother Prasena, who wore it around his neck and went out hunting. Not long after, Prasena was found dead in the forest, his body mauled by a lion. The gem could not be found anywhere near the corpse. Everyone jumped to the conclusion that Krishna had stolen the gem. To clear his name, Krishna went to the forest and traced the gem to the cave of the bear-king Jambavan, who had found the sparkling stone near the corpse and brought it home for his sons to play with. Krishna restored the stone to Satrajit. Impressed with Krishna’s strength of character, Satrajit had Krishna married to his daughter Satya-bhama. She came into Krishna’s house with a dowry that made her the richest woman in Dwarka. Satrajit also gave Krishna the Syamantaka gem, but Krishna refused to take it. Satyabhama’s suitors were so upset to learn of her marriage to Krishna that they murdered Satrajit and stole the Syamantaka. Krishna found the murderers and restored the gem to the Yadava people.
Bhagvata Purana
The wealth that came with the wife belonged to her alone and so was known as stridhan. Sacred Hindu lore abounds with tales of Satyabhama showing off her wealth to spite Krishna’s other wife, Rukmini, who was extremely poor; she had eloped with Krishna with no gifts from her father’s house:
Narada once came to Krishna’s palace for alms. Krishna’s queens offered him anything he wished. “I want Krishna,” he said. Horrified by this request, Krishna’s eight wives asked Narada to ask for anything else but Krishna. “Give me something worth Krishna in weight,” said the sage. So the queens made Krishna sit on one pan of a balance and wondered what they could put on the other pan that was as heavy as Krishna. Some queens brought fruits, others brought books—but nothing seemed to balance Krishna’s weight. Satyabhama ordered her servants to bring all her jewelry. Even that could not balance Krishna’s weight. Finally, Rukmini placed on the pan a sprig of the tulsi plant, saying, “This symbolizes my love for Krishna.” Instantly, the balance tilted in Rukmini’s favor. Her love was worth much more than Satyabhama’s gold.
Folklore from the state of Orissa
Not every woman agreed to marry the man her father chose. Women were ready to elope with the man of their dreams:
Rukmi, prince of Vidharba, had fixed his sister Rukmini’s marriage with Sishupala, king of Chedi. Rukmini wanted to marry Krishna, lord of Dwarka. She sent a secret message to Dwarka and begged Krishna to come to her rescue. On the wedding day, as she was about to enter the marriage pavilion after visiting the shrine of the mother-goddess, Krishna rode into her city on a golden chariot and whisked her away.
Bhagvata Purana
Sacred texts have always given more importance to a woman’s love than a father’s wish. Indeed, the greatest love story in sacred Hindu lore is the adulterous love of Radha for Krishna while he lived among cowherds long before he went to Dwarka and married Rukmini. This was considered pure love, beyond all social confines, hence divine:
Radha was married to Rayana, brother of Yashoda, Krishna’s foster mother. But she was in love with Krishna. Every night she would slip out of her house in the middle of the night, risk her reputation, and visit Krishna on the banks of the River Yamuna. Together, they would dance and make love in flowery meadows. Soon everybody was talking about the scandalous relationship. Radha was ostracized by all. Krishna took ill. His body burnt with a mysterious fever. The cowherds blamed Radha for it. None of the village doctors could cure Krishna, so Yashoda sent for a great sage who lived in the forest nearby. The sage said that water carried in a sieve would cure Krishna. “How could that be done?” asked the cow-herds. “By the powers of chastity,” explained the sage. So every woman in the village was asked to fetch water in a sieve. Not a single woman succeeded. Finally, it was Radha’s turn. She brought water in a sieve to Krishna as if she were carrying it in a metal pot. The whole village realized that Radha’s love was unconditional, hence her relationship with Krishna chaste.
Folklore from the
state of Uttar Pradesh
The best way to get a wife was to win her heart. This method was taken up by many Hindu high gods like Shiva and Vishnu to marry village goddesses. In the following story Shiva’s son, the virile warrior-god Kartikeya, worshipped by Tamils as Murugan, secures a wife for himself from among the hill tribes:
A tribal chief discovered Valli near an anthill and, realizing she was of divine origin, raised her as his daughter. Valli often took care of her father’s millet fields. One day Murugan saw her and fell in love. He tried to charm her with amorous words, but she turned away from him. He took the form of a bangle seller, then a sage, and tried to endear himself to her. But she drove him away. Finally, Murugan asked his elephant-headed brother, Ganesha, to come to his aid. Ganesha took the form of a wild elephant and rushed into the field. To save herself, Valli ran straight into Murugan’s arms. Murugan drove the elephant away and won Valli’s heart. Her father opposed their wedding. But Murugan fought him and his sons with his lance. Impressed by his valor, they accepted him as son-in-law of the tribe.
Folklore from the
state of Tamil Nadu
In Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh many villages have temples dedicated to Vishnu, whose consort is the local manifestation of Vishnu’s consort, Laxmi:
The sage Bhrigu kicked Vishnu on his chest because Vishnu had not risen to greet him. Laxmi, Vishnu’s consort, who resided on Vishnu’s chest, was furious when she found Vishnu apologizing to Bhrigu instead of punishing him for hurting her. In her wrath she left the heavens and descended upon earth to the city of Kolhapur. Vishnu followed her but, finding her unwilling to return, sought shelter in the hills of Vyenkata until she calmed down. One day, while chasing a wild elephant, he saw a beautiful maiden in a garden. Her name was Padmavati, “lotus girl.” She had been ploughed out of earth by a local king who recognized her as a manifestation of the earth-goddess. Vishnu wished to marry her. At first she rejected his advances. With strength and charm, Vishnu managed to change her mind. But there was a bridal price to pay and without the goddess of wealth Laxmi by his side, Vishnu was a pauper. He was forced to take a loan and thus became indebted to the goddess forever.
Tirumala Sthala Purana
from the state of Andhra Pradesh
In another village the story of Vishnu’s serial marriages to local goddesses continues:
On learning of Vishnu’s marriage to Padmavati, the goddess Laxmi was furious. So she took birth in a lotus in a village nearby. The sage Bhrigu discovered her and raised her as his daughter. This was his way of making amends for kicking Vishnu on his chest. He named her Kamalavali, “lotus one.” Kamalavali grew up to be a very beautiful girl. One day, as she sat under a coral tree, Vishnu passed the village on a chariot. Struck by her beauty, he decided to marry her and settle down in that village.
Kamalavali Sthala Purana,
from the state of Andhra Pradesh
These tales hold the secret of how classical Shaiva and Vaishnava traditions merged with goddess-dominated folk traditions and spread across the land. There is a mixture of love and force. It is interesting to note that in many villages the shrine of the goddess is usually separate from the husband. The goddess thus retains her autonomy. The reason given for the separate shrines is usually an altercation over a petty issue, such as Vishnu going out of the house without the goddess’s permission. The annual reconciliation and union is a village festival.
A woman’s desire was considered more important than the wishes of her kinsmen. In ancient India women had the right to choose their own husbands. One woman traveled all over the world looking for a husband worthy of her:
Savitri, daughter of the king Ashvapati, was so beautiful and intelligent that men shied away from asking her hand in marriage. So Savitri decided to travel to every kingdom in the land and look for a suitable groom for herself. As she rode through the forest, she met a woodcutter called Satyavan. His father was a king who had been driven out of his kingdom by his enemies. Savitri informed her father of her desire to marry Satyavan. Ashvapati was not pleased. Not only was Satyavan poor; oracles also predicted that he would die within a year of marriage. When Ashvapati saw that his daughter was determined to marry the man of her choice, he gave his consent and made arrangements for the wedding.
Mahabharata
Even the gods helped women find husbands of their choice:
Daityasena and Devasena were two daughters of Daksha who were amusing themselves in a lake when the demon Kini came upon them. Aroused by their beauty, he sought both their hands in marriage. Daityasena agreed to marry him. When Devasena refused, Kini tried to use force. Indra, who heard Devasena’s cries for help, hurled his thunderbolt and frightened Kini into the nether regions. Indra heard Devasena’s desire to marry a man who could single-handedly defeat the demons. There was only one god who could do this. His name was Kartikeya, son of Shiva, commander of the celestial armies. Kartikeya married Devasena, adopted daughter of Indra, who assisted him whenever he rode into battle.
Mahabharata
Incidentally, the names Daityasena and Devasena mean “army of the demons” and “army of the gods,” respectively. Thus the two women personify armies, the shakti of the celestial beings, who choose whom they wish to serve.
The demand for women was so great that men often gathered in a woman’s house to help her choose a groom. This self-choice ceremony was known as swayamvara:
The two sages Narada and Parvata fell in love with the princess Srimati. Each went secretly to her father and sought her hand in marriage but were curtly told that she would choose her husband by herself. Then each one went to Vishnu and asked him to give his rival a monkey face. Each sage went to Srimati’s self-choice ceremony thinking that the other had a monkey face. Repulsed by both their monkey faces, the princess garlanded a handsome youth instead. The youth turned out to be Vishnu in disguise.
Linga Purana
To help a woman make up her mind, men were invited to participate in a test of skill organized by the father:
King Drupada organized an archery contest. Warriors and princes were invited to string a stiff bow, then shoot the eye of a fish rotating on a wheel hanging from the roof by looking at its reflection in a pond below. He who succeeded, it was announced, would marry the king’s beautiful daughter Draupadi.
Mahabharata
If a man did not meet with a woman’s approval, she could stop him from participating in the competition:
Karna, king of Anga, decided to participate in the archery competition organized by Drupada. However, when he strung the bow, the king’s daughter stopped him from proceeding further. “I do not wish to marry a man who does not know who his parents are and who was raised in the family of lowly charioteers.”
Mahabharata
When a woman chose her own lover and married without seeking family consent, she was said to be following the way of the flower-gods known as gandharvas:
Usha, daughter of King Bana, saw the face of Aniruddha in her dreams. Determined to marry this prince of Dwarka, she sent the witch Chitralekha to abduct him and bring him to her. Chitralekha flew into the city of Dwarka in the middle of the night, picked up Aniruddha as he lay asleep, and carried him to Usha’s bedchamber. When Aniruddha woke up, he was pleasantly surprised to find himself in the arms of a beautiful woman. Usha’s father, Bana, was not pleased to see Aniruddha with his daughter, because Aniruddha’s grandfather Krishna was his sworn enemy. He had Aniruddha thrown into prison. Krishna immediately rushed to his grandson’s rescue. In the battle that followed, Krishna killed Bana and installed Usha on the throne with Aniruddha as her consort.
Bhagvata Purana
One woman was so determined to marry the man of her choice that she even approved his killing of her brother:
Hidimba, a man-eating rakshasa, sent his sister Hidimbi to kill the five Pandava princes and their mother, who were traveling through his forest. When Hidimbi saw Bhima, the second Pandava, she was so overwhelmed by desire that she decided to protect rather than harm the Pandavas and their mother. She informed Bhima of her brother’s intention and offered to take him and his family to safety. The mighty Bhima declined the offer, as he was quite capable of protecting his family on his own. Bhima attacked and killed Hidimba. Instead of mourning for her brother, Hidimbi followed the Pandavas and begged their mother Kunti for Bhima’s hand in marriage. Kunti accepted her as daughter in-law on condition that she enjoy his company only during the day and that she let him go after he had given her a child. Every daybreak, over the following weeks, Hidimbi would carry Bhima to a picturesque mist-covered hill where they would make love until nightfall. In time she bore Bhima a son called Ghatotkacha. As soon as he was born, she bid her lover farewell and returned to the forest.
Mahabharata
Nowadays the self-choice ceremony does not exist. Indeed, love marriages are disapproved of in most orthodox Hindu families because love does not take language, caste, or social and economic status into consideration. Self-choice ceremonies and free love are still practiced among some tribes in central India. The woman shows her approval by accepting a gift of pan from the man.
Pan is a packet of betel leaf containing betel nuts and other aromatic fillings. It is chewed after meals to help digestion. It makes the mouth fragrant and the lips red. It is a symbol of luxury and an important ingredient in love play. Some say that when made by the lover, pan comes to possess aphrodisiacal properties. Even today a beautiful woman is not supposed to offer pan to or accept it from anyone except her husband.
In ancient India, when a woman chose a man as her husband he was bound by propriety to marry her:
One day, as Krishna was taking a walk in the woods, he was approached by the river-nymph Kalindi, daughter of the sun-god Surya. “I have been traveling the world looking for my lord. I have finally found him in you. Please accept me as your wife.” Krishna took Kalindi to the city of Dwarka and married her according to rites laid down in the scriptures.
Bhagvata Purana
To be chosen by a woman of her own free will was a great honor for a man. However, unchosen men also sought to repay their debts to ancestors and gain access to worldly wealth. These men could either buy a wife or carry her off by force. Buying a wife was considered the way of asuras, or demons:
The sage Ruchika wanted to marry Satyavati. “Only if you give me a thousand white horses with black ears,” said her father, Gadhi. Ruchika used his magic powers to fulfill the condition and married the woman he desired.
Mahabharata
Abducting a wife was considered the way of barbarians, or rakshasas. Warriors and kings commonly adopted this method of marriage, which they found an effective way of making political alliances:
Arjuna, the third Pandava prince, once paid a visit to the city of Dwarka, where he saw the beautiful princess Subhadra. Overwhelmed by desire, he rushed through the crowded streets on his chariot, seized the beautiful girl, and carried her off. Balarama, Subhadra’s brother who wanted her to marry the Kaurava prince Duryodhana, was so angry when he learned of the abduction that he decided to pursue Arjuna and cut off his hands. But he was stopped by Subhadra’s other brother, Krishna, who pointed out that it was indeed an honor to have as brother-in-law a man who was brave enough to risk death in his quest to marry the woman he loved.
Mahabharata
In some versions of this story Krishna, who had advised Arjuna to abduct the woman he loved, also told Subhadra to hold the reins of the chariot as they rode out of the city to inform the Yadavas that she was leaving of her own free will.
The most approved form of marriage, however, was the way of Prajapati, lord of progeny: For the sake of procreation, a father selflessly gave his daughter to any man who wanted to have children by her. There was no transaction.
After obtaining a wife, the husband was terrified of losing her. In one moving love story the husband prefers to give up half his life rather than lose his wife to the god of death. This story stands out in sacred Hindu lore as one of the few stories in which a the man finds life without his wife worse than death:
On the day of her wedding Pramadvara died of a snakebite. The heartbroken groom, Ruru, invoked the gods and threatened to kill himself if she was not brought to life. So the gods consulted Yama, god of death, and agreed to let Pramadvara live, if Ruru gave half his life to her. Ruru accepted this arrangement and Pramadvara came back to life.
Devi Bhagvatam
Because wives were so precious, husbands fought hard to protect them from philanderers:
Utathya married Bhadra, a woman of extraordinary beauty. Varuna, the sea-god, saw her and, overcome by desire, abducted her from the sage’s hermitage. In holy rage, Utathya drank up all the rivers, lakes, seas, and oceans until there was not a drop of moisture in the whole world. Only after Varuna had restored Bhadra did Utathya give back the waters to the parched earth.
Mahabharata
One sage was willing to shoot down the sun for daring to hurt his wife’s delicate skin:
The sage Jamadagni was an archer. Every time he shot an arrow, his dutiful wife Renuka ran to pick it up. She would bring it back before Jamadagni could shoot the next arrow. One day she ran after an arrow and did not return until evening. On inquiry, she revealed that the harsh sun had blinded her and burnt her skin. So she had taken shelter under a tree until the sun set and the ground was cool. To teach the sun a lesson, the sage raised his bow and threatened to shoot down the sun-god Surya as he rode across the sky in his golden chariot. Surya begged for mercy and offered the sage’s wife a pair of sandals and a parasol to protect her body from the harsh glares of the sun.
Mahabharata
The epic Ramayana tells the tale of how Rama punished Indra for daring to solicit his wife:
While wandering through the forest, Indra, king of the devas, cast his lustful eyes upon Sita. He took the form of a crow and tried to touch her. Sita took objection to this and complained to Rama. Rama picked up a blade of grass and with a magic formula converted it into a missile that he directed toward the crow. It punctured the crow’s lustful eye. So it is that a crow has only one eye.
Ramayana, Agni Purana,
Padma Purana
When Ravana abducted Sita, Rama roused the forces of Nature to her rescue:
During his fourteen-year exile, Rama’s wife Sita was abducted by Ravana, the rakshasa-king. To rescue her, Rama roused the forces of Nature. Vultures flew into the sky and located Sita in the island kingdom of Lanka. Rama then raised an army of monkeys and bears, built a bridge across the sea that was held aloft by fishes and other sea creatures, and stormed Ravana’s citadel. Because he had no horse or elephant to ride into battle, he rode on the shoulders of the monkey-god Hanuman and shot dead all the rakshasas, including Ravana, who stood between him and his beloved Sita.
Ramayana
The Ramayana has many folk versions. In southeastern Asian versions of the epic one learns of Rama’s sorrow when he is tricked into believing that his beloved is dead:
Ravana sent a sorceress to trick Rama into believing that Sita was dead. The sorceress appeared on the shores of the sea in the form of a rotting corpse. Rama recognized the ornaments on the dead body as those belonging to Sita. “Ravana must have killed her and thrown her body into the sea,” he cried. As he lamented the loss of his beloved, Hanuman felt something was amiss. He ordered his monkeys to place the corpse on a pile of wood and lit the funeral pyre. As soon as fire engulfed the corpse, it jumped up and began to run toward the sea. Hanuman caught hold of the “dead body” and forced the sorceress to reveal all to Rama or risk a painful punishment.
Ramakien
In the epic Mahabharata the man who casts his lustful eyes on the common wife of the Pandavas pays with his life:
For a year the five Pandavas and their common wife Draupadi had to live incognito in the court of King Virata. Draupadi served as the queen’s handmaiden and caught the attention of the queen’s brother Kichaka, who ordered her to come to his chamber at night. Not knowing what to do, Draupadi sought the protection of her second husband, Bhima, the strongest of the Pandavas, who was working in the palace kitchens. Disguised as Draupadi, Bhima lay in Kichaka’s bed. When Kichaka came to bed, Bhima crushed him to death as he tried to make love. In the morning, when Kichaka’s mutilated body was discovered, Kichaka’s brothers accused Draupadi of sorcery and tried to burn her alive. Bhima entered the crematorium, uprooted a tree, and killed them all. With no witnesses to the murder, Bhima’s identity as the king’s cook remained secret.
Mahabharata
The wife reflects a husband’s personality, strength, virility, and wealth. If she is ugly, unhappy, unsafe, unchaste, and poorly adorned, the husband is seen in a poor light. If she is beautiful, joyful, safe, chaste, and richly adorned, his prestige soars. If he has two such wives, he is considered a hero. If he has three, he is greater still. The number of happy women in the harem determined the worldly power and sexual prowess of gods, kings, and demons:
When the monkey-god Hanuman entered the island kingdom of Lanka in search of Rama’s wife Sita who had been abducted by the rakshasa-king Ravana, he discovered on Ravana’s bed several beautiful women writhing in sexual ecstasy. They were daughters of kings, sages, gandharvas, rakshasas, and asuras, who came there of their own accord, sometimes abandoning husbands, enamored by Ravana’s beauty, splendor, and sexual prowess. Struck by arrows of the love-god, some women caressed and kissed other women who had been caressed and kissed by Ravana, in the hope of tasting the remains of the rakshasa-king’s virility. Hanuman did not find Sita among them. For she was devoted to Rama and in her chastity refused to even look upon the mighty lord of Lanka.
Ramayana
A god with two consorts. Twentieth century calendar art.
Many wives did not take kindly to a husband’s second marriage:
Brahma decided to perform a yagna. While his consort Savitri went for a bath, he collected the necessary implements and utensils required to set up the altar. When all was done, there was no sign of Savitri. Brahma grew impatient. Because a yagna cannot be conducted without a wife, Brahma created another woman called Gayatri, married her, placed her next to him, and began the ceremony. When Savitri returned and discovered another woman sitting next to Brahma, she lost her temper. She cursed Brahma that he would not be worshipped in any temple.
Padma Purana
Co-wives often fought over the husband:
When the river-goddess Ganga descended from the heavens, the gods requested Shiva to break her fall lest she wash away the earth with the force of her waters. Shiva let her flow through his hair. Entangled in his mighty locks, Ganga’s fierce torrent was transformed into a gentle stream, much to the satisfaction of the gods. However, Parvati, Shiva’s consort, was not very happy to find Ganga sitting on Shiva’s head. She demanded an explanation. “How is it that I, your lawfully wedded wife, sit on your lap but you keep another woman on your head?” Ganga giggled, “If he lets me go, he knows I will wash away the world and he will be blamed for it.” Realizing Shiva’s predicament but unwilling to share her husband with the capricious river-goddess, Parvati fused her body with Shiva, becoming his left half, turning Ganga into an outsider, a concubine.
Folklore from northern India
In Shiva temples the base of Shiva’s linga is formed by bhaga, the generative organ of Parvati. The two are eternally locked. Right above the linga hangs a conical pot that represents Ganga. Through a hole at the bottom of the pot, she keeps dripping water on the divine couple, making her presence felt.
Keeping two wives happy under one roof requires all the skill of Vishnu, the sustainer, renowned in the three worlds for his guile:
Vishnu’s two wives, the goddess of sovereignty Shri and the goddess of earth Bhu, constantly sought his attention. Shri demanded it in her position as senior wife, Bhu secured it by using her submissiveness to make Vishnu feel guilty. Once Indra gave Vishnu the parijata tree. Both goddesses wanted it to be planted in their respective gardens, which were separated by a high wall. Vishnu gave the plant to Bhu, because she was the earth-goddess. Bhu immediately began flaunting her fertility and taunting Shri. To teach Bhu a lesson, Vishnu decreed that flowers would bloom only on the side of the tree facing Shri’s garden. Shri would enjoy the fruits of Bhu’s labor. Learning this, Shri began taunting Bhu. To teach Shri a lesson, Vishnu announced that the tree would only bloom when he would visit Bhu’s garden. Thus every time Shri saw the flowers of parijata, she had to endure the knowledge that her lord was with someone else.
Folklore from southern India
A man with three women—an expression of virility. Twentieth century reproduction of medieval North Indian miniature.
Bhu and Shri are considered earthly and heavenly manifestations of Laxmi, goddess of wealth and fortune. When Vishnu descended upon the earth in the form of Krishna, they joined him as Rukmini and Satyabhama and the quarrels continued.
Some men did not even have one wife, let alone two. They had neither the charm to win a girl’s heart nor the accomplishments to impress her father, neither the power to abduct a woman nor the wealth to buy one. In desperation these men took drastic measures:
Sumedhas and Somavat were two poor priests, or brahmanas. They sought wealth that would enable them to buy a wife. They were directed to the generous queen Simantini, who served lunch and offered rich gifts to one brahmana couple each day. The two youths were in a fix—they needed the gifts to get married but they could not get the gifts unless they were married. So they decided to obtain the gifts by deceit. Somavat disguised himself as a woman, and with Sumedhas acting as the “husband,” they introduced themselves to the queen as a brahmana “couple.” Simantini welcomed them and treated them as manifestations of Shiva and Shakti. Such was the power of her piety that Somavat lost his manliness and became a woman. Sumedhas married his former friend. With the gifts they received, the two set up a house where they lived happily ever after.
Skanda Purana
While the preceding story has homoerotic undercurrents, the following story tells the story of a man who, in his quest to know the love of a wife, ends up becoming the patron god of eunuchs and transvestites:
During the battle at Kurukshetra, the Pandavas were informed by oracles that they would not win unless a youth with a flaw-less body was sacrificed to the goddess Kali, mistress of battlefields. Arjuna’s son by the naga princess Ulupi, Aravan, matched the requirements perfectly. The young man agreed to be sacrificed for the sake of his family on one condition—that he be given a wife for one night. The Pandavas looked around for a wife, but no one was willing to marry a man doomed to die the very next day. Finally, Krishna, friend of the Pandavas, came up with a solution. He transformed himself into a ravishing woman called Mohini, married Aravan, spent the night with him, and, at dawn, after Aravan was sacrificed, mourned his death like a widow, beating his breast and unbinding his hair. In death Aravan became Khoothandavar, the deity who marries eunuchs and transvestites for a night before his annual death.
Khoothandavar Sthala Purana,
from the state of Tamil Nadu
Brothers could fall apart on the issue of marriage:
Prajapati Vishvarupa wanted his daughter to marry either Kartikeya or Ganesha, the two sons of Shiva. Shiva declared that the first of his sons to go around the world thrice would marry the girl. Kartikeya immediately mounted a peacock and started his journey. Ganesha mounted a mouse and simply went around his parents three times. “My parents are my world,” he said and claimed the prize. Shiva was so pleased with Ganesha’s wit that he let him marry Prajapati Vishvarupa’s daughter. Kartikeya, who had actually gone around the world three times, felt cheated. In his fury he left his father’s abode in the icy northern hills and sought refuge in the hot southern forests.
Folklore from northern India
There was one scripturally recognized but universally disapproved-of option that the lonely man could turn to in order to win a wife— rape!
Although ideally, a woman had to be invited to bed, marriage by rape has also been documented in sacred Hindu lore. This form of marriage—by impregnating a woman while she is drunk or sleeping—was considered the way of vampires, or pisachas:
The warrior woman Ali refused to marry the Pandava Arjuna. Once he entered her bedroom in the form of a swan and crooned his love to her, but she shooed him away. She even threatened to kill him. Finally, Arjuna sought the help of his mentor Krishna, who suggested that he marry her in her sleep. Taking the form of a serpent, Arjuna slipped into Ali’s bed and made love to her as she slept. Krishna solemnized the union.
Folklore from the
state of Tamil Nadu
The ancients realized that while a man needed to be aroused for his seed to flow, a woman’s will was not vital to produce a child. However, the mother-goddess did not appreciate any man, even her own son, coercing a woman to have sex:
Kartikeya, son of Shiva and Parvati, was commander of the celestial forces. After killing the asura Taraka, he was so full of passion that he wanted to make love to every woman who crossed his path. The women went to Parvati and informed her of Kartikeya’s unwarranted sexual attentions. The goddess decided to teach Kartikeya a lesson—every time he tried to force himself on a woman, he discovered that she looked just like his mother. Realizing that all women were aspects of Parvati, he swore never to marry a woman unless she came to him willingly.
Brahmanda Purana
Although nymphs were considered free spirits of Nature, forcing them to have sex was not acceptable:
While riding through the forest, Ravana saw Rambha, the celestial courtesan, and desired to have sex with her. “I love your nephew Nalakubera and look upon you as my father-in-law,” she said. But Ravana, overwhelmed by lust, ignored her protests and had his way with her. When Nalakubera learned of this, he cursed Ravana: “If Ravana ever forces a woman to have sex against her will, his head will burst into a thousand pieces.”
Ramayana
Some women preferred death to dishonor. One woman killed herself and swore to be reborn as her rapist’s nemesis:
Vedavati was performing austerities when Ravana, lord of the rakshasas, came into her hermitage and tried to rape her. To save herself, Vedavati jumped into the fire altar and burnt herself to death. Nine months later Ravana’s wife Mandodari gave birth to a girl-child. Oracles discovered that she was Vedavati reborn. “Kill the child who will kill you,” they said. So Ravana threw the child into the sea. The sea-god saved it and gave it to the earth-goddess, who gave her to Janaka, king of Mithila. The child was named Sita, “she who was furrowed out of the earth.” She went on to be the cause of Ravana’s death.
Ramayana, Devi Bhagvatam
Wives who were forced to have sex against their will could reject husbands:
Dirghatamas followed the path of animals and believed in free sex. He tried to have sex with his sister-in-law, but she threw him out. He forced his wife Pradveshi to prostitute herself so that he could live off her earnings. Disgusted by his ways, Pradveshi and her son Gautama threw him into a river. He would surely have died had he not clung to a floating tree.
Mahabharata
When a king turned rapist, not only he but his entire kingdom was penalized, for as king he formed the moral foundation of his realm:
King Danda ruled a prosperous kingdom that stood between the northern plains and the southern plateau of India. One day, while out on a hunt, he came upon the beautiful Ara, all alone in her father’s hermitage. Overwhelmed by lust, Danda caught hold of her, pinned her to the ground, and forced himself on her. To avenge her dishonor, Ara performed austerities until Indra, king of devas and lord of fertility, let it rain fire upon Danda’s kingdom.
Ramayana
After Indra had destroyed Danda’s kingdom, it turned into the dense forest of Dandaka, where even birds and beasts feared to tread.
Nature does not recognize rape. Ancestors are not fickle about the womb they are conceived in. So long as a seed is shed in a fertile womb, a child is conceived. Whether the seed belongs to husband, lover, rapist, or brother does not matter:
After her monthly period, Yagnavalkya’s widowed sister Kamsari covered her genitals with a piece of cloth that, unknown to her, was stained with her brother’s semen. When she became pregnant she was filled with shame. Not knowing the cause of pregnancy, she abandoned the child under a pipal tree, hence the child came to be known as Pippalada. Yagnavalkya divined what had occurred and consoled his sister, saying it was no fault of hers.
Skanda Purana
The gods, determined to rotate the cycle of life, do not grant a woman the power to reject an unwanted seed. Whether she was seduced or raped, her womb accepted semen and conceived a child. All a victim of rape can do is try to abort the fetus:
Ugrasena of the Yadava clan ruled Mathura. His wife Padmavati was raped by the demon Gobhila. When she discovered she was pregnant, she tried to abort the fetus, but all her attempts failed. In despair she went through with the pregnancy and delivered the fruit of her rapist’s seed. She cursed the resilient newborn named Kamsa that he would die at the hands of her husband’s kinsman.
Padma Purana
A woman may want to reject an unwanted fetus, but the gods do not support her desire. She could even end up paying a heavier price than the rapist:
Mamata, the wife of Utathya, was pregnant when her brother-in-law Brihaspati raped her. Mamata rejected Brihaspati’s seed, preferring to keep in her womb her husband’s child. Brihaspati also refused to take responsibility for the rejected seed. The gods nurtured the abandoned seed while condemning the child in Mamata’s womb to be born blind.
Mahabharata
Attempting to kill an unborn child is considered a greater sin than rape. The former goes against the cycle of life. The latter, though reprehensible, supports the cycle of life. A man who tries to abort a fetus is struck with a curse:
The monkey-king Vali was threatened by the news that the chaste Anjani, wife of the Kesari, was pregnant with Hanuman, a divine monkey blessed with the strength of thunder. To secure his throne, he made a missile with five metals and shot it into Anjani s womb. On contact with the fetus inside, the missile melted and turned into earrings for Hanuman. For attempting to harm a defenseless fetus, Vali was cursed with helplessness at the time of his death. Vali was shot dead by an arrow shot deceitfully from the back while he was busy trying to fend off a pretender to his throne.
Kamban Ramayana, folklore
from the state of Orissa
Even Indra, king of the gods, performs austerities to wash away the sin of abortion:
When Indra learned that Diti was pregnant with a child who would grow up to be more powerful than him, he released a thunderbolt and cut the unborn child into forty-nine pieces. The cries of the unborn child could be heard across the cosmos. They became the forty-nine howling storm-gods. For this heinous crime, Indra lost his celestial crown. He had to perform penance for a thousand years to wash away the sin of abortion. The storm-gods were adopted by Shiva, and they were ultimately accepted as Indra’s companions.
Rig Veda, Vishnu Purana
In the epic Mahabharata the character Ashvathama is cursed to suffer for eternity for the sin of trying to cause miscarriage:
The Pandavas defeated the Kauravas in battle. Unwilling to accept defeat, one of the Kaurava warlords named Ashvathama decided to kill all Pandavas by deceit. He entered their encampment in the middle of the night and slaughtered five warriors whom he thought were the five Pandavas. They turned out to be the five sons of the Pandavas by Draupadi. Draupadi, inconsolable on learning of the murder, demanded that Ashvathama be killed. In a bid to escape, Ashvatama shot an arrow into Uttara’s womb. Uttara was the daughter-in-law of the Pandavas. In her womb was the last of the Pandava heirs. The unborn child would surely have died had Krishna not used his magic powers to stop the arrow. For trying to harm a fetus, Krishna cursed Ashvathama that his battle wounds would never heal. No herb would allay his suffering, and even death would not come to ease his pain.
Mahabharata
A mother with her child. Stone carving from the queen’s stepwell of Patan, Gujarat. Eleventh century.
Ashvathama’s suffering is a Hindu metaphor for never-ending agony—the fate of a man who tries to halt the cycle of life.
Killing a woman was considered as great a sin as abortion because it was tantamount to killing all the children she would bear. In ancient India the code of warriors prevented men from raising weapons against women:
In the battle at Kurukshetra the Pandavas found it impossible to defeat Bhisma, commander of the Kaurava army. So they decided to use guile. It was known that Bhisma could not be defeated as long as he held weapons. It was also known that he would not raise his weapons against a woman. So Arjuna the warrior rode into battle with Shikhandi as his human shield. Shikhandi was born a woman but had acquired the body of a man later in life through the magical grace of yakshas. When Bhisma saw Shikhandi, he lowered his weapons, refusing to fight one who was, at core, a woman. Taking advantage of this situation, Arjuna shot Bhisma down with a rain of arrows.
Mahabharata
Even Vishnu, guardian of the cosmos, cannot escape the consequences of killing a woman:
Once while their guru Kavya was away, the asuras took shelter in the house of Kavya’s mother, Pulomi. When their eternal enemies, the devas, launched an attack on Pulomi’s house, Pulomi decided to use a magic formula to put the gods to sleep. But just as she was about to chant the mantra, Vishnu flung his sharp-edged discus and cut her throat. For killing a woman, Vishnu was struck with a curse that he would be born on earth seven times over and each time experience the same fear of death as any mortal.
Matsya Purana
Survival of a people has always depended more on the number of women than that of men. If a tribe of ten men and ten women is struck by an epidemic, the chances of the tribe repopulating itself is greater if the epidemic kills nine men than if it kills nine women. Perhaps that is why women were forbidden from bearing arms and participating in battle. If women survive, the clan survives. The womb contains the nectar of immortality for a race:
The warrior caste of kshatriyas was given military might by the gods to protect the earth. Corrupted by power, warriors used their weapons to dominate society. Once they raided the hermitage of sage Jamadagni to steal his cows. When Jamadagni tried to stop them, they killed him. At the sage’s funeral, his son Parashurama watched his widowed mother, Renuka, beat her chest twenty-one times in sorrow. In his rage he picked up an ax and swore to attack the kshatriyas twenty-one times and wipe out the warrior caste from the face of the earth. Parashurama succeeded in his mission and ended up filling ten lakes with kshatriya blood. Knowing that Parashurama would never harm women, one warrior named Valika saved himself by hiding in the female quarters of his father’s palace. He became renowned as Nari-kavacha, “he whose armor is made up of women.” He went on to impregnate all the kshatriya widows and repopulate his caste. Thus future generations of warriors sprang out of a single man.
Mahabharata
Harming a woman is seen as harming the nourisher of life, hence sinful. By the same logic, harming the earth is considered a sin in Hinduism. In sacred Hindu lore the earth is depicted as a divine cow whose milk nourishes plants and animals:
Once the earth-goddess Bhudevi, angered by the ingratitude of all beings, refused to let seeds germinate and trees bear fruit. The resulting famine caused havoc on earth. Moved by the lamentations of starving children, Vishnu took the form of the universal sovereign Prithu and threatened Bhudevi with dire consequences if she did not feed his subjects. Undaunted by the threat, the earth-goddess took the form of a cow and ran away. Prithu mounted his chariot and pursued the earth-cow. When he finally managed to corner her, he raised his bow and threatened to shoot her down. “If you kill me, I will die and so will all your subjects, because only I can nourish them,” said the earth-cow. Prithu lowered his bow and reasoned with the earth-cow. She finally consented on the condition that Prithu protect her from abuse. Prithu swore that his subjects would never abuse the earth, and should they do otherwise, they would face the wrath of Vishnu. Thus Vishnu became the guardian of the earth-cow. When ambition broke the earth-cow’s back and greed hurt her teats, the earth-cow complained to her guardian Vishnu, who descended upon the earth and annihilated the ambitious and greedy people of the world.
Bhagvata Purana
Prithu institutes the practice of prudent economics and teaches man how to milk the earth’s resources without harming her. He exhorts all to love and protect the earth-cow. If she is taken care of she can provide milk for food and dung for fuel for all eternity. Plundering her resources is akin to cutting her flesh and drinking her blood, which would benefit no one in the long run. To drive home this point, sacred Hindu law recommends the worship of cows and forbids the eating of beef. It is interesting to note that sacred Hindu lore has always considered the earth a living organism, long before the Gaia hypothesis was propounded by scientists and ecologists of the twentieth century.
In the Hindu marriage ceremony a man and woman become husband and wife after they take seven steps together in the presence of relatives and the sacred fire. Each step represents one of the seven worldly things that bind them together—food, strength, wealth, pleasure, progeny, cattle, and friendship. As the ends of their garments are tied together, the groom takes the hand of the bride with the words, “I seize your hand that I may gain fortune; I am the spirit, you are the rest; I am the words, you are the melody; I am the seed, you are the field; I am the sky, you are the earth.”
Ancient Hindu priests converted the sexual union of man and woman into a ritual known as the sacrament of conception, or garbhadhana samskara. This union is sacred because it creates a portal between the land of the dead and the land of the living, enabling ancestors to reenter samsara. The act unites spirit with matter. Sex helps the wheel of life go around.
This now-obsolete ritual began with an invitation to the wife during her fertile period: “Being happy in mind, here mount the bed; give birth to children for me, your husband.” Before penetrating her, he touched her vulva and recited sacred verses. “Let Vishnu prepare your womb; let Tvastr adorn your form; let Prajapati pour on; let Dhatar place the embryo. Hold the embryo, O Sarasvati; let both the Ashwini garlanded with blue lotuses set it in place.” After shedding his semen, reclining over her right shoulder, he placed his hand between her breasts and said, “You whose hair is well parted—I know your heart that dwells in the moon. May it know me, too. May we see a hundred autumns together.”
So sacred is the sexual act that its interruption leads to dire consequences:
To enjoy sex in the open, without any inhibitions, the sage Kindama and his wife took the form of a buck and a doe. While he was mounting her, Pandu, lord of the Kuru clan, accidentally shot an arrow that pierced both their hearts. Just before he died, Kindama cursed Pandu: “You will die if ever you touch a woman amorously.” Pandu realized the implications of the curse—he would never be able to father a child. In despair, he gave up his kingdom and decided to live like a hermit in the forest.
Mahabharata
According to the following little-known tale, even the sea is salty to remind children never to interrupt parents when they are making love:
Viraja had borne Krishna seven sons. Once she sought his company in the seclusion of a forest. At the height of their lovemaking, her youngest son interrupted them and complained that his elder brothers were troubling him. Krishna let go of Viraja, lovingly picked up the child, placed him on his lap, and wiped his tears. Angered by this unwarranted interruption of her pleasure, Viraja cursed her son to turn into the sea whose salty waters can never quench thirst.
Brahmavaivarta Purana
Images of man and woman in passionate embrace are a mandatory part of every Hindu temple because they affirm worldly life. Vaishnavas, worshippers of Vishnu, say that the cycle of life rotates forever because Vishnu in the form of Krishna is eternally sporting with his consort Radha in his celestial garden. According to the Shaivas, worshippers of Shiva, the cosmos exists only because Shiva and his consort Shakti are making love. Shaktas, worshippers of the mother-goddess, warn all creatures not to interrupt the goddess while she is sporting with her lord:
Once, when the goddess was sporting with Shiva, a group of sages entered their cave. Embarrassed, the goddess covered her nakedness. To please her, Shiva took her to a grove and decreed that any male who entered her sacred grove would turn into a woman. Unaware of this decree, Ila rode into the grove on a horse and discovered that he had acquired the body of a woman while his horse had turned into a mare.
Bhavishya Purana
Image of man and woman in amorous embrace on a temple wall, symbolizing interdependence and wholeness. Stone carving; Khajuraho temple. Twelfth century.
In popular belief only the celestial beings known as devas are childless. In some stories this is because, having consumed the nectar of immortality, they have no need for offspring. In other stories, however, the devas were cursed to remain childless because they interrupted the lovemaking of the goddess.
A woman’s role in sex is seen as that of the recipient. She is looked upon as the altar of a Vedic yagna, passively waiting for the priest to offer oblation. In the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad one is told, “Woman is fire—the phallus is her fuel; the hairs are her smoke; her vulva is her flame; when man penetrates her, that is her coal; her ecstasy is her sparks. In this very fire gods offer semen; from this oblation man comes into being.” Yagnas were Vedic ceremonies that, like sex, maintained the integrity of the cycle of life. During yagnas, priests made offerings to empower gods in their battles against the demons. But the gods could receive the oblations only if the offering was made in a fire burning on specially designed altars. In sex woman is the altar, man is the priest. Unless the altar prepares herself to receive the offering, the yagna of sex reaps no rewards. The womb has to be ripe and the body, beautiful.
The Hindu law books known as Dharmashatras exhort Hindu women in their fertile period to adorn themselves with flowers, cosmetics, and jewels and make themselves as alluring as the bright and fragrant flowers that attract bees. Adornment, or shringara, is thus not a feminine whim, but a sacred duty. It makes a woman’s body auspicious. Under no circumstances is she to leave her body unadorned:
The machinations of his stepmother, Kaikeyi, forced Rama, prince of Ayodhya, to leave his father’s city and live in the forest like a hermit for fourteen years. Sita, his dutiful wife, was bound by the laws of marriage to share his misfortune and follow him to the forest. However, when she began removing her royal finery in order to wear clothes of bark, as befits the wife of a her-mit, the royal women stopped her. “It is unbecoming for a married woman to remove the jewels that adorn her body,” they said. “Even if circumstances have forced your husband to become a hermit, you must continue to wear flowers, jewelry, cosmetics, and bright clothes.” When Sita followed her husband to the forest, she was given enough clothes and jewels to suffice her for the period of exile. While in the forest she met Anasuya, wife of sage Atri, who gave her similar advice. The wife of the sage also gave her magical apparel that was never tainted on use.
Ramayana
Hindu women wear sixteen love charms, or solah-shringara, to arouse their husbands—earring, nose ring, toe ring, finger ring, bracelet, armlet, anklet, waistband, necklace, hairpins, flowers, perfumes, kohl, red sari, vermilion mark on the forehead, and fragrant nuts in the mouth that stain the lips red. These are symbols of a suhagan, an unwidowed matriarch. These were gifts of Soundarya-Laxmi, goddess of beauty:
A princess beautifying herself in her toilet. Mural at Mattencheri palace, Kerala. Seventeenth century.
No one wanted to marry Rati, daughter of Brahma, because she was ugly. So Rati invoked the goddess Laxmi, who personifies Nature’s beauty. The goddess gave Rati sixteen love charms. “With these,” said the goddess, “all women will look appealing to men.” When Rati adorned herself with these love charms, she looked so beautiful that Kama, the god of love, fell in love with her and made her his consort.
Folklore from Orissa
Even a poor man’s wife was expected to beautify herself with whatever resources she had on hand:
Parvati, the mountain-princess, had married Shiva, the mountain-hermit, of her own free will. She shared his ascetic lifestyle without complaint. One day, however, she saw a group of goddesses bedecked in jewels and became very conscious of her simple clothing. Shiva divined her unhappiness and caused the rudraksha tree to grow. “Use the seeds of this plant as beads and make ornaments that befits a hermit’s bride,” he said. This made Parvati very happy. To worshippers of Shiva, ornaments made of Rudraksha beads are more precious than gems.
Folklore from the state of Bengal
The best reward for a woman was beauty. As in the following story, she could use it to win the hearts of sages or marry powerful kings:
Matsya was a fisherman’s foster daughter. She was sometimes referred to as Gandhavati, “smelly one,” because constant association with fish had given her body a fishy odor. Gandhavati rowed travelers across the river in the hope that the good deed would win her a good husband. One day the sage Parasara requested her to take to the other bank. Midstream, he expressed his desire to have sex with her. Fearing a curse if she refused, Gandhavati gave in. The sage drew a curtain of mist and made love to the terrified fisherwoman on an island in the middle of a river. Such was the spiritual prowess of Parasara that a child was born instantly and Gandhavati’s virginity was restored. The sage rewarded Gandhavati by transforming her fishy body odor into an erotic fragrance. It so aroused Shantanu, king of Hastinapur, that he agreed to make the fisherwoman his queen.
Mahabharata
A woman’s beauty stirs male virility. Her adornment and his arousal are important in the rites of conception. If a woman was ugly, as Apala is in the following story, she appealed to the gods to help her fulfill her womanly duties:
Apala’s husband refused to touch her because she had a skin disease. Distraught, Apala called upon the gods. But no one answered her prayers. Then one day she accidentally chewed a twig of the soma plant whose juice is much loved by the devas. Instantly, Indra, the king of devas, appeared before her. He pulled her thrice through the hole of his chariot wheel and caused her skin to slough. The first time, the sloughed skin turned into a hedgehog. The second time it turned into an alligator. The third time it turned into a chameleon. Having shed her skin three times, Apala’s skin became smooth and radiant. Indra then made love to her and restored her fertility. Pubic hairs emerged and her womb ripened.
Rig Veda
The following story narrated by tribal bards from central India captures the plight of an ugly woman while explaining the male obsession for chewing tobacco:
Tambaku was the daughter of a tribal chief. She was so ugly that no man wanted to marry her. Her father offered all his wealth to the man who agreed to accept Tambaku as bride. However, even the lure of wealth did not win Tambaku a husband. Tambaku died of loneliness. The gods who had given her an ugly face felt responsible for her un-happiness. To make amends, they declared that in her next birth all men would desire her. Tambaku was therefore reborn as the tobacco plant whose leaves never leave the mouths of virile men.
Tribal lore from Madhya Pradesh
A woman’s arousal is not as important as male arousal in the rites of conception. In its absence a child can still be conceived. However, according to ancient medical treatises, female arousal ensures that the child conceived is a healthy one. An unhappy woman in bed gives birth only to unhealthy children:
Vichitravirya died before he could impregnate his two wives, Ambika and Ambalika. So his mother, Satyavati, called upon the sage Vyasa to shed his seed in the two women. Vyasa, whose body had grown emaciated after years of austerity, requested time to beautify his body before entering the bedchamber of these women. But Satyavati was impatient for a grandchild and she forced Vyasa to visit the women when they were next in their fertile period. When Vyasa visited Ambika, she shut her eyes in fear. As a result, she gave birth to a blind son called Dhritarashtra. When Vyasa visited Ambalika, she paled on seeing his gaunt features. As a result, she gave birth to a pale child who was named Pandu. When it was time to visit Ambika again, Vyasa discovered in bed her low-caste handmaiden, who made love without fear. She gave birth to a healthy child called Vidura.
Mahabharata
A woman, determined to have healthy and happy children, could refuse to make love to her husband unless he adorned himself before coming to her:
Lopamudra discarded all finery and, dressed in clothes of bark, performed austerities along with her husband, the sage Agastya. Then one day, desiring offspring, he decided to make love to her. “I will not approach you dressed in rags of asceticism. Bedeck me and yourself in silks and gold, then I shall come to you.” To fulfill his wife’s wish, Agastya went around the world and, after various adventures, collected enough wealth to do as his wife desired. As promised, she approached him with love in her heart and desire in her loins.
Mahabharata
If quality was not important, male adornment and female arousal were not considered vital in the rite of conception.
A husband was obliged to make love to his wife whenever her womb was ripe to accept seed. The shedding of menstrual blood indicates death, the inability of a man and woman to come together at the right hour to help another ancestor’s rebirth. Both the man and the woman responsible incurred the sin of abortion. The law books therefore describe a woman in her periods as a chandali, “one polluted by a corpse.” She was expected to isolate herself as the womb shed blood. When the bleeding stopped, she was told to bathe, beautify herself, and present herself to a man.
If a husband could not satisfy the wife during her fertile period, he had to arrange for another man to do the needful. Such a relationship was not considered adulterous, because it enabled the rebirth of an ancestor:
The sage Veda once went on a pilgrimage, leaving his disciple Uttanka in charge of the hermitage. While he was away, Veda’s wife menstruated. In the following fertile period she invited Uttanka to her bed. “Because my husband is away and my womb is ripe, you should replace the master of the house,” she explained. With great unease, Uttanka did what was to be done. When Veda returned, he heard what had transpired. He told Uttanka that he had done the right thing and blessed him.
Mahabharata
It was said that a woman in her fertile period, all alone in bed, attracts the amorous eye of Indra, king of devas. Husbands, therefore, avoided staying away from home after their wives had had their ritual bath following menstruation:
The sage Devashrama had to go on a pilgrimage, leaving behind his beautiful wife Ruchi in the hermitage. He left his disciple Vipula in charge. Fearing that Indra might arouse Ruchi’s passions, Vipula used his magic powers to enter Ruchi’s body. From within, he restrained her from responding to Indra’s amorous advances. Later, Vipula was embarrassed by his intimate contact with his guru’s wife Ruchi. Devashrama reassured him that he did no wrong, for his intentions were honorable.
Mahabharata
As lord of fertility, Indra gives women the right to approach any man when she is in her fertile period. This was used by many women to their advantage in ancient times:
While Arjuna was bathing in a river, he was abducted by the naga princess Ulupi, who demanded that he give her a child. Arjuna refused. Then Ulupi reminded her of his duty as a man to offer seed to any woman who demanded it. Arjuna relented and spent time with Ulupi until she gave birth to their son, Aravan.
Mahabharata
Under no circumstances could a man refuse a woman who demanded sex during her fertile period:
Diti approached her husband, the sage Kashyapa, at twilight while he was performing rituals to ward off malevolent spirits of the night. When she demanded that he come to her, he said, “I will because I have to. But the children that will be conceived will have a demonic disposition.” So it came to pass. Diti gave birth to daityas who became eternal enemies of the adityas, keepers of life, light, and order.
Bhagvata Purana
Some women used this power to conceive powerful children:
Kaikesi, daughter of the rakshasa-king Sumali, wanted to have a son by the sage Vaishrava who had fathered the mighty Kubera, lord of treasures, on a yaksha woman. So when the monthly flow of blood stopped and her womb ripened, she went to his hermitage. The sage agreed to embrace her. In time Kaikesi gave birth to Ravana, who went on to lead the rakshasas in battles against the gods.
Ramayana
A man who rejected the solicitations of a woman had to pay a terrible price:
Urvashi, the celestial nymph, desired Arjuna. However, Arjuna refused to entertain her, saying, “By embracing you I will incur the sin of incest. For you were once the wife of my ancestor Pururava.” “Earthly laws do not apply to divine creatures,” said Urvashi, but Arjuna was not convinced. Enraged, Urvashi cursed Arjuna: “May you lose your manhood.” Thus Arjuna became a eunuch. By the grace of Indra, king of the gods, who was also Arjuna’s father, the curse manifested itself only for a year.
Mahabharata
Only the grace of a god could save a man from the crime of rejecting a woman who desired him:
Devala was a handsome and intelligent priest well versed in the scriptures. The apsara Rambha fell in love with him, but because Devala had taken the vow of celibacy, he refused to have sex with her. Piqued by the rejection, Rambha cursed him that his body would crook at eight places. Devala thus became known as Ashtavakra, “he whose body is bent at eight places.” Years later Krishna visited his hermitage along with Radha. Radha was shocked by the ugliness. So Krishna touched Devala and straightened his body.
Brahmavaivarata Purana
In the Brahmavaivarta Purana, the nymph Mohini says, “A man who refuses to make love to a woman tortured by desire is a eunuch. Whether a man be a householder, an ascetic, or a lover, he must not spurn a woman who approaches him, or he will go to hell.”
When a woman does not shed menstrual fluid after union with her husband, it indicates that a new life had been conceived. Retained menstrual fluid was believed to have the magical ability to ensheath the spirit with a thinking mind and a feeling body. It was considered the most visual manifestation of rasa, or creative energy. The dark red color of menstrual fluid became the color of life and fertility. Married Hindu women paint a red dot on their foreheads, wrap their bodies with red saris, and line their feet with red dye. Vermilion powder is an essential ingredient in all Hindu ceremonies. It enhances fertility and attracts good luck.
Like women, earth is also a vessel of fertility capable of creating and nourishing life. The creative power of rasa flows through earth as it flows through women. This link gave rise to some curious customs in ancient India. During spring festivals, kings invited beautiful women to the royal gardens to sing, dance, and embrace trees. Their presence and touch, it was believed, enhanced the creative power of earth and catalyzed the flowering of trees. The women thus helped plants transform into nymphs and seduce birds and bees with color, fragrance, and nectar. Images of women holding trees and creepers have become powerful fertility symbols that adorn the walls and gates of most Hindu temples.
Many Hindus believe that, like a woman, the earth menstruates and bears children. In summer, in the eastern state of Orissa, just before the monsoons, women observe rojo, the ceremony of the earth’s menstruation. For three days the earth’s blood-stained surface is considered polluted. All virgins stay indoors and avoid placing their feet on the ground. No work is done. On the fourth day there is great joy. The earth, represented by a grinding stone, is washed with water as rasa flows again. Farmers begin tilling their fields. The seed is sown and the monsoons awaited.
A tree nymph, symbolizing the fertility of Nature. Wall carving; Rajarani temple, Orissa. Twelfth century.
Indra causes the rain to fall to satisfy the earth-goddess, warm with desire. As the weeks pass the seeds in her womb germinate, and tender green shoots emerge from the soil as if pulled by the rays of the sun. When this happens, women in the western state of Maharashtra celebrate Gauri Puja, the festival of the mother. Images of the goddess are adorned with green saris and green bangles as farmers acknowledge the visual manifestation of earth’s renewed fertility.
A similar acknowledgment of a woman’s fertility occurs in the ceremony known as simanta, celebrated in the seventh month of her first pregnancy. Dressed in green, the color of maternity, or red, the color of fertility, the mother-to-be is congratulated by suhagans, a group of women who are considered auspicious because their husbands are alive, children are healthy, and households prosperous. These women personify Nature at her benevolent best. The suhagans ward off malevolent spirits that could harm the fetus and pray for the safe delivery of the new child. They also part the mother’s hair and stain the parting with vermilion, in anticipation of the day when her vaginal lips will part and blood-stained fluids will gush out as the womb releases a new life.
That will be a happy day. As the woman experiences birth pangs, priests will go about the house loosening all the knots to facilitate the loosening of the child from the womb. They will chant verses from the Atharva Veda: “Let the woman rightly engender, let her joints go apart, let the gods unclose her, let the vul-val lips part, let the fetus not adhere to flesh, fat, or marrow and slip out, and then let the viscid spotted afterbirth descend for the dog to eat.” After the umbilical cord is cut and the baby is washed, it will be presented to the breasts of the mother with a prayer: “May oceans full of milk, full of the divine nectar, abide in your breasts to strengthen your child.” And as the child is being nursed, prayers will be said that it may “suck long life, suck wealth, suck strength.” For the child will be no ordinary child. It will be a dead ancestor reborn.
The womb, the renewer of life, is worthy of worship. It is the pot of immortality, amrita-kumbha, that keeps every family tree alive. Through it, ancestors regain access to another womb—that of the mother-goddess, defined by space and time, in which exists the endless splendors of the material world. Poets describe this celestial womb that cradles samsara as the basket of inexhaustible bounty, akshaya-patra.
Hindus worship the womb in the form of a container—sometimes a wicker basket, usually a pot. In sacred Hindu lore one often comes across stories in which a pot serves as a surrogate womb:
The sage Bharadvaja was taking his bath when he saw the water-nymph Ghritachi walking along the riverbank. The wind blew off her upper garment; a thorny bush caught and tugged at her lower garment. Bharadvaja thus caught sight of her splendid body—her full breasts and round buttocks. His passion roused, he could not restrain the emission of his seed. The seed fell into a pot and turned into a child. This child came to be known as Drona, “pot born.”
Mahabharata
Without a pot, water cannot be collected, food cannot be gathered. Without a pot, there is hunger and thirst. A pot also symbolizes the milk-rich breasts of the mother-goddess that nourish all life. In Hindu kitchens one gets to hear of Draupadi’s magical pot, which is always full of food:
Draupadi, wife of the Pandavas and queen of Indraprastha, was renowned for her hospitality. Whenever a sage visited the palace, she made sure he was well fed. When the Pandavas lost their kingdom and were forced into exile along with their queen, they went to the forest and sought refuge in caves. During this period, many well-wishing sages paid them a visit. Draupadi was heartbroken at being unable to feed them as she used to in the past. She invoked the goddess Laxmi and sought her help. The mother-goddess gave Draupadi a pot that would always be full of food. With this magical pot, Draupadi was able to feed her guests. No one who visited the Pandava caves ever left with an empty stomach. Thus was Draupadi’s fame as a generous hostess restored.
Mahabharata
In folk rituals an effigy of the all-containing, all-giving mother-goddess is made by attaching a metal head to the rim of a pot. Filled with water, topped with a coconut, and ringed with a coronet of mango leaves, a pot transforms into purna-kalasha, or the “brimming urn” that ushers in fertility and fortune. The purna-kalasha is a permanent feature of all Hindu festivities related to marriage and childbirth. The pot represents the container of all things material. It is a vessel of fertility, the earth and the womb, nurturing and nourishing life without discrimination. The mango leaves, associated with Kama, god of love and lust, represent the pleasure principle that is an essential ingredient in fertility. The coconut, a cash crop in the tropical world, symbolizes prosperity. It also symbolizes the ego that makes its possible for one to relish power. The water in the pot is Nature’s rasa, without which there can be no life on earth.
When a man dies, an earthen pot containing water is smashed to indicate the liberation of the spirit from the flesh. After the body is cremated, Hindus collect the ash in another earthen pot and, at the end of all funerary rites, throw the ashes in a river. Just as ashes from a pot enter the stream, it is hoped that ancestors, after a brief stay in the land of the dead, return to samsara to suckle once more the wonders of existence.
