Chapter Twenty-Four

Marcus accepted the hand she held out to him and let her lead him upstairs. Last time he could write off as adrenaline and the joy of surviving a life-threatening situation. It had been a moment of insanity, impulse. He could convince himself it didn’t count. This time would be different. This time, they were making a deliberate choice to go to bed together.

Leah pushed open the door and there it was. Her bed, all soft and female, with a fluffy light gray comforter and a mound of pillows. She shut the door and turned to him.

He’d never been so nervous in all his life.

This was a bad idea, but he couldn’t convince himself to leave. Leah reached for him, but hesitated before touching him, her hand trembling in the air between them. She was nervous, too, and all the anxiety jumping around inside of him settled and calmed, like the glass surface of the ocean after an epic storm. He stepped closer so that her palm pressed against his chest.

Her gaze flicked up to his in surprise. “Your heart’s beating so fast.”

He gave a little self-deprecating laugh and reached up to tuck a strand of blond hair behind her ear. “I’m nervous. I don’t know why. It’s like my first time all over again.”

She laughed, too. A soft, inviting sound he wished he could wrap around himself like a blanket. “You shouldn’t be. I know for a fact you’re far from a virgin. I’ve heard the stories.”

“Yeah…” His cheeks heated with embarrassment, and he winced. “Can we not talk about that?”

“Really? You’re not proud of your prowess with women?”

“It’s usually more alcohol than prowess.” He winced again. “Shit. Pretend I didn’t admit that. You need to know I was always careful, and I’m tested regularly for every disease and toxin known to man. It’s been a while since I was last tested, but I haven’t been with anyone except…” He trailed off, caught by the intensity of her gaze. “Except you.”

“All those months in Indonesia…?”

He shook his head. “There was only one woman I wanted, and I didn’t think I could ever have her. Didn’t think I should. Still not sure I should, but my brain’s not in the driver’s seat at the moment.”

She glanced down at the growing bulge at the front of his pants, then trailed her hand down his chest and stomach. Every muscle contracted under her touch.

When she stroked her fingers over his erection, he shuddered. “I want to touch you.”

She smiled up at him. “You can. In fact, I want you to.”

He snaked a hand around the back of her neck and drew her against his body. The feel of her softness giving way to his hardness through all of their layers of clothing drove him half crazy. She skimmed her busy little hands up under his T-shirt, leaving a trail of goose bumps in her wake.

He bent his head down to kiss her but stopped before making contact as a realization struck.

“Condoms,” he muttered and swore under his breath. He released her and backed up a step to avoid the temptation to say hell with it and have her anyway like he had in CAR. That had been incredibly irresponsible and reckless of him, and he refused to risk it again. “Do you have any?”

She shook her head.

Duh. Of course she didn’t have a box laying around. What a stupid question. “I’ll run to the store.”

He was already halfway to the door when she caught his hand with a delighted peel of laughter.

“It’s okay, Marcus. You can’t get me pregnant. I have an IUD. We’re covered.” She pulled him to her as she backed toward the bed, and he let her.

“We should’ve had this conversation before.”

“I love that you thought of it and were concerned with protecting me.” She sat down on the end of the bed and tugged at his shirt, getting it nearly to his chin.

He helped pull it the rest of the way off and leaned over, planting his hands on the bed beside her hips. “I’ll always protect you.”

He kissed her. She was so sweet, the best dessert he’d ever had on his lips, and made his head buzz more than the strongest hit of caffeine. Her touch set off a blaze under his skin as she circled her hands from his back to his front and worked on the button of his jeans. Without breaking the kiss, he backed away enough to unbutton and unzip and kick off his sneakers and pants. He scooped her up and all but threw her higher on the bed. She bounced a little when she landed in the pile of pillows and let out that delightful laugh of hers again.

Shoving the pillows out of his way, he roved up her body, stripping off each item of clothing that got in his way. He wanted all of her bare skin against his.

She wore a front clasp bra. He could kiss her for that. In fact, he would, right on each of her lovely nipples. He traced a finger up under her bra, along the cleft between her breasts, and felt the tremor of anticipation that quaked through her. He flicked open the clasp and marveled at the way her tits spilled out of their cage. She’d always had a great body, but motherhood had given her the kinds of curves that made a man drool.

He took his time, giving each breast all of his attention until her nipples stood erect. He experimentally sank his teeth into one and flicked his gaze up to watch her reaction. She sucked in a sharp breath and nearly bucked him off.

He grinned against her skin. “You like that? A little bit of pain with your pleasure.”

“Yes,” she gasped.

“You surprise me. Didn’t expect that from you.”

Color filled her chest and rose into her cheeks. “Uh, I’ve never—it’s not something I’ve ever tried before. It’s all new to me, but…I like it.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.” He laughed softly and soothed the bite with his tongue. “I like it, too. A lot.” He nuzzled her breasts. “And I love these.”

She rolled her eyes. “Stretch marks and all.”

He shoved himself up onto his hands and stared down at her. “Don’t. Your body is gorgeous. You always were beautiful, but motherhood turned you into a knockout. This…” He cupped her breast and again teased her nipple with his teeth, pulling it back to a peak. “Is everything a man could want. Everything I want.”

“Oh…” She fell back into the pillows and threaded her fingers into his hair.

“What do you want?” he whispered against her skin. “I’m here to serve.”

Again, color filled her cheeks, but she didn’t shy away this time. She pressed his head down, and who was he to argue? He settled between her legs, breathing in her scent. He loved the taste of her, and the way she arched as if trying to ride his tongue like it was his cock. He had her writhing and gasping his name, and he loved that, too.

He held her hips still and full out assaulted her clit with his tongue and a scrape of his teeth. She screamed and he continued teasing her through the orgasm. She’d barely come down before he flung her up there to fly again.

“Oh God.” She raised a shaking hand to push a damp strand of hair off her face. “Oh… God.”

He grinned and kissed his way up her body until her hips cradled his. He leaned down then, dove his fingers into her hair, and kissed her deeply, thoroughly, leaving no corner of her mouth unexplored. She arched under him, her heat enticing him through the layer of his boxers. He shoved them down, took his cock in hand, and guided himself to her opening.

She felt just as good as he remembered. A hot, silken fist clasping him and holding him tight when he withdrew.

“Leah,” he breathed next to her ear as he moved. “You are amazing, doll. So sexy and sweet. I love the way you hold my cock in you like you never want to let it go.”

“I don’t,” she said, languid and sated from her two orgasms. “I love having you inside me.”

With each slow thrust, his orgasm bore down on him, clamping around his spine. He didn’t want it to end. He wanted to stay connected like this forever, the rest of the world forgotten. But he couldn’t hold on, and all too soon, his seed pulsed from him, leaving him exhausted but happy. He didn’t break their connection when he rolled to the side and pulled her on top of him. He planned to be back inside her as soon as he could get hard again, so this just saved them a step.

She released a contented sigh. “Thank you.”

He laughed. “Any time you want to do this again, I’m here for it.”

She propped her chin on his chest and grinned. “How about now?”

“Well, maybe give me a minute.” But to his surprise, he was already hard again. He hissed through his teeth when she sat up and rocked her hips. His eyes probably rolled back in his head, too.

“Okay,” he said on a gasp. “Now’s good.”

…

Leah woke up the next morning feeling like she’d had a particularly tough session in hot yoga. Well, where was the lie? Marcus was an adventurous lover, and he’d bent her body in ways that would make even the most advanced yogi envious.

Wow. She felt good.

Marcus was still asleep. She was half tempted to wake him for another round, but the ache between her legs when she shifted changed her mind. Maybe they needed a break. And food. And the kids would be arriving soon.

Sigh. She should be the responsible adult here and go shower.

In the bathroom, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and stopped short in surprise. Sex-tousled hair, swollen lips, cheeks pinked by beard stubble. Her nipples stood out in tight little beads and the dampness between her legs felt slightly sinful. She stepped closer to the sink and studied her reflection.

She looked like a woman. A sexy, well-loved, happy woman. For the moment, she was not a mother. Not a widow. She was…

Leah.

A small laugh bubbled up out of her, but it ended in a sob. She pulled open the top right-hand drawer of her vanity and found the soft velvet box that at one time had held her engagement ring. Now it held Danny’s wedding band. She drew a breath and held it as she flipped open the box and removed the simple silver band. She remembered the day she’d picked it out for him at a mall jewelry store. They’d gotten ice cream afterward and talked about the future they’d have after he put in his four years with the Marines. He was twenty. She was eighteen. God, they’d been so young—some said too young. But they had known they had something special, something once-in-a-lifetime, and they had been so full of hope and love and dreams.

“God, Danny. I miss you.”

It felt wrong that it wasn’t Danny beside her when she woke up this morning. Wrong that it hadn’t been Danny inside her when, until now, he was he only man she’d ever had sex with.

Marcus was not Danny. He didn’t feel like Danny. He didn’t move like Danny. Her husband had always been an attentive lover, giving generously, always making sure she was satisfied before taking his own pleasure. He’d never been rough with her, and she’d never wanted rough from him. Sex with him had been comfortable. Easy.

Nothing was easy with Marcus.

He was unlike Danny in just about every way. He was bigger, broader through the chest and shoulders. Danny had been athletic all his life, an avid runner and surfer, but he’d always had trouble packing on muscle. Marcus was a solid wall of hewn stone.

Marcus was rough in the most delightful way, taking her right to the edge between pain and pleasure, but never tipping her over, never hurting her. Rough and hot and hard. Her muscles ached, and walking set off a delicious throb between her legs.

It made her feel gloriously alive. For the last year, she’d been living a half life, a ghost of her former self. Danny’s death had killed a part of her that she thought she’d never get back.

Marcus had given it back to her last night.

And she loved him. She couldn’t deny it anymore.

“Are you okay with this?” she asked the ring. Of course it didn’t answer. It was a ring, a circle of metal. She’d kept it instead of burying it with him because she’d had a wild notion deep in the bottom of her heart that his death was all a mistake, a mix-up. He would eventually come back to her and she could return the ring to him. It was also why she had continued wearing her wedding set, so he’d see it when he finally came home and know she’d been loyal.

Grief was a strange thing.

“I love you, Daniel Giancarelli. Now and forever. But I can’t keep hanging on to you. It hurts too much. I hope you understand that.” She pressed Danny’s ring to her lips and replaced it in the box. Then she took off her wedding set and studied the diamond. She loved it as she had loved the man who had given it to her, but it was time to let go. She nestled her rings in next to his, where they belonged.

As she closed the little box, relief settled over her. She felt lighter, like a weight had lifted off her shoulders.

Somehow, she knew Danny would approve.

She consulted her reflection again, then tore off a piece of toilet paper to wipe at her damp eyes. She splashed her face with cool water to soothe the redness in her cheeks and nose from crying.

There. That was better.

Marcus was still asleep. In her absence, he’d rolled over to his stomach and hugged the pillow to his head. The blankets had twisted around him, burrito-like. She had to laugh. Her sons—especially Cooper—slept the same way.

She crawled up the length of his body, pressing kisses to his arm, his shoulder, and finally his neck. “Your mom’s bringing the kids home soon.”

He mumbled something incoherent and nestled deeper into the pillow.

“Marcus, get up. We don’t want the kids finding you naked in my bed.” She took his earlobe between her teeth and tugged.

In an instant, she was on her back with his big body rising over hers. She laughed and pushed on his shoulders. “No. We have to get up.”

His sleepy, hooded gaze roved over her for a moment before he leaned down to kiss her. “You bite my ear like that and then tell me I can’t make love to you?” He pressed his hips forward and the length of him rubbed along her inner thigh. He was completely hard, and she wanted all of that man inside her again.

“Well, we have a little time.” She parted her legs and he slid home, inciting a moan from them both.

“It’ll be quick,” he rasped in her ear. “You wrung me dry last night, doll.”

She lifted her hips to meet his slow, shallow thrusts and felt his erection pulse inside her. His movements became ragged, less controlled, until he gripped her hips, lifted her to him, and came with a low, deep groan.

She loved watching him climax. The muscles in his neck and shoulders tensed up and flexed in the moment before he released. It was beautiful to see.

He collapsed on top of her, bracing his weight on his forearms. “Oh, shit. Sorry. I’m too sensitive to have any lasting power. Guess I’ll just have to take care of you with my mouth.” Mischief glinted in his eyes as he brushed a light kiss over her lips, then worked his way down her body.

At the first masterful stroke of his tongue between her folds, she bowed off the bed. He chuckled, his breath warm against her sex. “Like that? So do I.”

He licked her again, this time finding her clit with the tip of his tongue. A tremble of pleasure worked its way through her. She grasped at the bedsheets, at his hair, at anything she could to keep from floating away. But then she didn’t care, because she was flying.

When she came back to herself, she found Marcus with his chin resting on her thigh, grinning at her. He crawled up her body, stopping to kiss her C-section scar. “We should get up. Don’t want the kids to catch us like this.”

“Oh, great idea. Why didn’t I think of that?” She grabbed the pillow from behind her head and smacked him with it.

He laughed and swatted it aside, then leaned down to kiss her nose. “I’ll go shower. I believe Mom mentioned she restocked the fridge…”

“Sure, now he’s ordering me into the kitchen.” She made a show of rolling her eyes then propped her head in her hand to watch him walk toward the bathroom. The man had a gorgeously squeezable ass. One she’d left little half-moon nail marks in last night. Oops.

He glanced back from the doorway and caught her staring. He grinned, flashing those charming dimples of his. “It wasn’t an order. Just a suggestion. I’m starving.”

Right then, her stomach let out a loud growl, which put a halt to all the ideas she was having about joining him in the shower. He was right. They needed to eat, and having the kids come home to a warm breakfast seemed like a good idea.

She rolled out of bed and pulled her damp hair up into a ponytail. “All right. I’ll start breakfast. Go shower.”