It didn’t take long for me to finish making breakfast; once it was done, I went into the sewing room to see if Miss Peggy wanted to eat there or in the kitchen. When I got to her, I found her slumped down in her chair. I shook her and she quickly came back to herself, but I was scared. Granny was out in the garden checking on the vegetables, and Jimmy Earl was still helping Mr. Tote and the other men out on the farm. It was just me and Miss Peggy, and all I could think was that I needed to get her to bed. Bed just seemed safe.
“I don’t need to go to bed, Opal. I just got a bit light-headed. I feel better now,” she said, sitting up in her chair. But she still looked weak around the eyes to me.
“Please, Miss Peggy,” I begged. “Let me get you to your bed. Just until you feel more like yourself. Please.” It was all I could do to keep my voice calm. Seeing her slumped over like that had put my heart into my throat. Miss Peggy was like a second granny to me. It was Miss Peggy who taught me how to can things and sew. Granny was an amazing cook, but making jellies, jams, and preserves just wasn’t her thing. Miss Peggy had patiently taught me everything from how to prepare the jars to what to do with the fruit to help it maintain its color while in them. Losing her would hurt almost as much as losing Granny.
“Opal, honey, I will be okay,” she said in a soft voice.
“Can I at least let them young ladies know there ain’t going to be no quilting circle this afternoon?”
Miss Peggy shook her head. “No, don’t do no such thing,” she said in a breathless voice. “I’ll be fine by this afternoon, and if it will make you stop looking so scared to death, I’ll go back to bed for a spell. Just don’t tell Birdie and Jimmy Earl what happened. They’ll worry themselves to death. Just tell them I was tired after getting up so early and decided to sleep a little longer.”
“Yes ma’am,” I said, thankful she was going to let me help her to her room. She managed to get up from her chair, and with my help, we slowly made our way down the hallway to her bedroom. Once I got Miss Peggy back into bed and settled, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. Other than when Mr. Cecil died, I had never seen her cry. But these last few days, she had been shedding quite a few tears. I took her hand.
“I’m okay, sweetheart. I don’t want you worrying. I’m just getting old, that’s all. And it feels like cow dung,” she said. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Yes, I said ‘cow dung,’ and you better not tell Birdie. She’ll be praying over me all day for using such language.”
“I won’t tell. It’ll be our secret, Miss Peggy,” I said, still giggling.
“Opal, you look so much like your mama,” she said. “MayBelle was a pretty gal. Just like you.”
I stopped laughing and smiling. It was like she had just thrown cold water in my face. I dropped her hand and turned my back to her. “I sure hope I don’t get none of her awful ways.”
I felt Miss Peggy reaching out for my hand. I started to ignore her. Started to snatch my hand away from her reach because she couldn’t have paid me no greater insult than to say I was like my mama, the same mama who left me behind like a stray puppy. The same mama who we never heard from again. But I knew I couldn’t do that to Miss Peggy. Not even over her hurting my feelings. I turned back toward her and took her hand.
She squeezed it. “I’m so sorry, Opal. I didn’t mean no harm by my words. MayBelle was a real beauty, and you are too. That’s all I meant to say.”
I smiled, but it wasn’t a for-real smile. “That’s okay, Miss Peggy. I know you didn’t mean no harm. Do you want me to bring your food in here?”
“Yes, honey. If that’s no trouble.”
This time, my smile was genuine. “Of course it’s no trouble, Miss Peggy. I’ll be right back with your plate.”
Just then, Miss Corinne skipped into the room like an oversize little girl. You wouldn’t know by how she acts that she is in her thirties, except for the fine lines around her mouth and eyes. The other giveaway that Miss Corinne was older than twelve was that she seemed to carry this huge weariness. I sometimes wished I could reach out and take that weariness from her and let her have a day or two when she didn’t have to carry such a heavy, heavy load.
“Morning, Mama. Morning, Opal,” Miss Corinne said, coming over and kissing us both. “I’m having a good day.”
“That’s good, sweetheart,” Miss Peggy said.
I thanked God silently. We all could use a good day, and a lot of times Miss Corinne’s good or bad days determined how good or how bad our days were. She didn’t mean no harm. It was just her nature, or at least that’s what Granny said.
“Miss Corinne was a change of life baby,” Granny said one day when I asked her why Miss Corinne was a bit addled in the head. “Them babies struggle sometimes. They weren’t meant to be conceived to mamas that old, so sometimes they come here carrying the nature of an old woman going through the change.”
“Miss Corinne, do you want me to bring you a plate so you can eat with your mama?” I asked. She nodded, and I left Miss Peggy’s room to make both of their plates.
Sometimes Mama and Granny would just do things for Miss Corinne without ever asking her what she thought about it. If they were cooking, they wouldn’t ask her if she was hungry; they would just make her a plate and tell her to eat. I tried to treat her as if she were one of my older aunties. I never tried to act like I knew what was best for her unless I absolutely had to. And even then, I tried to be respectful about it.
Although Miss Corinne had some rough days, she also had some days when she was just like everybody else—when she would do the things the rest of us took for granted, like being a good daughter or a good mama. It was Miss Corinne who taught me and Jimmy Earl how to fish and catch crawdads. “Patience,” she used to say. “If you want to catch something in nature, you gotta have patience.” And it was Miss Corinne who taught me what to do on the day I started my period.
I was thirteen when my “friend” first visited me. Granny and Miss Peggy had gone to town, and it was just me and Miss Corinne at the house. By that time, Jimmy Earl was in his first year of college, and even though it was summertime, he had decided to stay up there in Athens and work. I was mopping the kitchen floor, and I looked down and saw little droplets of blood coming down my leg. I mopped them up as best I could, and then I ran outside crying to where Miss Corinne was pulling the weeds out of Miss Peggy’s flower bed. She stood up smiling and then wiped my tears.
“You gonna be okay, Opal. I know your granny told you about your friend visiting you,” she said. I nodded, but it was one thing to be told and another to have blood streaming down your legs. “Don’t you worry none. I’ll take care of you,” Miss Corinne said. She took me upstairs to the bathroom and showed me how to put on the sanitary pad and belt. Then she handed me two more pads.
“Wash them out good when you get done with one. That way you’ll always have clean ones to change into. Let me know if you need more,” she said in her whispery voice. She kissed my forehead. “You’re a woman now. It ain’t all that bad. Your friend will come see you once a month, and sometimes your belly will hurt, but most times it’ll just be blood . . . leastways that’s how it’s been for me. Just make sure you stay away from the boys, or you’ll get yourself a little Jimmy Earl in your belly like I did.”
I promised her I would stay away from boys, and I was thankful I didn’t have to have a talk with Miss Peggy or Granny about how to deal with my woman issues. Neither one of them was good with moments like this, so having Miss Corinne guide me through it was a blessing that I never forgot. Ever since then, Miss Corinne has held a soft spot in my heart. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for her, whether it was on one of her good days or bad days.
I quickly fixed plates for Miss Corinne and Miss Peggy. Just as I was putting their plates on a tray, Jimmy Earl walked in the door. He was already sweating.
“That’s for Mama and Gran?” he asked.
“Yes. I’ll fix yours now.”
“Don’t bother, Bean. I’m so hot I’m liable to get sick if I tried to eat a hot meal. Here, I’ll take this to them. I ain’t told them good morning yet, and I need to get ready and get out of here, or I’ll be late on my first day,” he said.
“You need to eat something, Jimmy Earl,” I said. “Maybe a bowl of those cornflakes your mama likes so much?”
Jimmy Earl scrunched up his nose, and I laughed. I didn’t like that cereal mess, either, but Miss Corinne could almost eat it straight out the box.
“I’ll make it up at lunch,” he said.
“I fixed you a couple of ham sandwiches with some of that leftover ham. Make sure you keep it cool once you get to work. It’s in the cooling box in a brown paper bag,” I said.
Jimmy Earl laughed. “Bean, you are as country as they get. It’s not a cooling box. It’s a refrigerator.”
I snapped at him, ashamed. “Well, whatever you call it, there’s sandwiches in there waiting for you.” I turned my back. I felt his hand on my shoulder. I shook it off.
“Bean, I’m sorry. I was just teasing,” he said.
I kept my back to him. “I know you done outgrown all of us with all your book learning. I know better than anybody that I’m not as smart as you or all of your new college friends.”
Jimmy Earl turned me around so I was facing him. “Bean, I was teasing. You are smarter than any girl I know, and that includes those ninnies at the University of Georgia. I value common sense over book sense any day. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said.
“Now let me get this food to Mama and Gran. You gonna be okay?”
“I’m fine. Go see about Miss Peggy and your mama.”
He glanced at me once more and then made his way down the hall carrying their plates.
A tear slid down my face, and I swiped at it angrily. “You’re the ninny, Opal Pruitt. If you don’t stop crying at the drop of a hat, you—”
“Crying about what?” Granny said, coming into the kitchen. “Lord, those poor vegetables are hanging on for dear life. I picked some of those new potatoes, and a few cucumbers I can make into a soup for supper, and sandwiches for Miss Peggy and her girls. I also found a couple of knotty watermelons you can stick in that cooling box.”
I smiled. “They call it a refrigerator, Granny.”
Granny clicked her teeth. “Well, whatever they call it, you can stick one of these melons in it. Corinne will love it. I think she could eat her collard greens cold if I served them to her that way.”
I laughed and started taking my dirty dishes to the sink to wash.
“So what was you crying about, little missy? I didn’t forget,” Granny said.
“Nothing, Granny. I’m fine,” I said. Before she could ask me any more questions, I heard someone calling for Granny at the screen door. I went to see who it was, and it was Sister Mattie Lee Freeman, my Sunday school teacher. I almost didn’t recognize her without her church clothes on. She was dressed like most of the Colored women on a Monday morning: a housedress, an apron, a headscarf, and comfortable shoes. Miss Mattie Lee didn’t have steady work like me and Granny. She cleaned part time for two white families and for Miss Lovenia Manu, the root woman.
“Mattie Lee, come on in, gal. What you doing out in this heat?” Granny asked as Sister Mattie Lee opened the door. She made her way to the kitchen table, plopping down in one of the chairs as she mopped the sweat from her face. “Chile, go get Mattie Lee some ice water,” Granny said. I hurried and plopped some ice cubes in a glass and then poured in some of the water from the pitcher. I took the glass to Sister Mattie Lee, and she smiled.
“Thank you, Opal,” she said and then took a big gulp of water. “Lawd have mercy. Birdie, how you reckon we made it without ice water back in the day when we had to go out to the fields and pick cotton and peanuts?”
“Gal, you know I ain’t never picked no cotton. You know us high yallers didn’t have to go outside the big house,” Granny said as she and Sister Mattie Lee both burst into laughter like silly girls.
I knew Granny had picked cotton and peanuts when she was younger. It wasn’t until her teen years that she got a job keeping house for Miss Peggy, but she liked to joke that her fair skin color used to get her special favors like doing jobs that didn’t put her in the sun.
Granny continued, “Chile, Old Man Little Jack Parsons didn’t care if you was high yaller or black as coal; when harvest season came around, everything that could walk or crawl had better be out in them fields.”
“Yes, Lawd,” said Sister Mattie Lee. “Old Man Little Jack sho didn’t play. Birdie, I didn’t come to keep you from your work. Miss Lovenia sent me over to talk to you.”
“I’ll go check on Miss Peggy and Miss Corinne,” I said. I had heard Jimmy Earl’s pickup that used to be Mr. Cecil’s crank up a few minutes ago, so I knew he had left for work and Miss Peggy and Miss Corinne were alone. If nothing else, I could go and collect their tray.
“Don’t go, Opal,” Miss Mattie Lee said. “This is about you.”
I suddenly got nervous. I couldn’t imagine what it could be. Then I panicked. What if Sister Mattie Lee had seen Cedric and me kiss the other day, or what if someone else had seen us, or what if Miss Lovenia had used her magic, and . . .
“. . . help her,” I heard Sister Mattie Lee say. Help her? Help who?
“Ma’am?” I asked, feeling embarrassed that I had missed hearing what Sister Mattie Lee had said the first time.
“Miss Lovenia wanted me to see if you could come help her a few days a week after you get off here,” Sister Mattie Lee repeated. “I’m finally gonna retire, or at least be at home. Before I could recommend somebody, she asked me about you.”
“Why my Opal?” Granny asked. “Why that hoodoo woman want my chile to work for her? No offense, Mattie Lee. It’s one thing for a grown woman like you to be up in that house, but my chile, that’s another thang altogether.”
“No offense taken, Birdie,” Sister Mattie Lee said, putting her handkerchief back into her pocket. “When I first started working for Miss Lovenia two years ago, I told her I was a God-fearing Christian and I wasn’t there for no mess. I don’t fool with her room where she does her work. She don’t talk to me ’bout it, and I pray before I walk in that house and pray when I leave it. She got them twin boys who are about forty or fifty, but they stay to themselves upstairs in their bedroom, and she told me they could clean up their room themselves. She pays good, and I told her she would have to do the same by Opal as she did by me. A couple of hours a day is all she needs. Opal is young. That’ll be some good money for her to make and sock away for a rainy day.”
“Ain’t enough rainy days on God’s earth for me to send my chile to some hoodoo woman,” Granny said. “You tell Miss Lovenia I said thanks but no thanks. My Opal has plenty to do right here at Miss Peggy’s.”
I wanted to beg Granny to let me go to work for Miss Lovenia, but I knew better. Yes, I was a bit afraid of Miss Lovenia’s hoodooing, too, but the money would be good. It would allow me to buy a pretty new dress right out of the store like Lucille, or go to Miss Chellie’s house and let her wash and straighten my hair. But Granny had spoken. It didn’t matter that the extra money would help us both out. Granny’s word was law with me. So I said goodbye to Miss Mattie Lee and went to check on Miss Peggy and Miss Corinne.
When I got to Miss Peggy’s room, both Miss Peggy and Miss Corinne were asleep in the bed, dozing under the cool breeze of the electric fan. Their plates were empty and sitting on the tray on the floor. Miss Corinne had her head pressed against her mama’s shoulder. I smiled at them both. It was nice to see them resting. Neither one of them looked stressed or out of sorts. I imagined it was because the room was so comfortable. I’d been after Granny to let us get electricity, but she kept saying no, and that God sends us all the light and breezes we need. I stood there for a moment and let the cool breeze blow on me.
“Feels good, don’t it?” Miss Peggy said.
“I thought you was asleep,” I said as I turned around and faced her.
“You was blocking the air,” she said and laughed in a soft voice. Neither one of us wanted to wake up Miss Corinne.
I moved over. “I’m sorry,” I said.
“I was teasing you, Opal. I wasn’t asleep. Just resting my eyes. Now this one,” she said, motioning toward Miss Corinne, “is hard asleep. I thought I heard another voice in the kitchen.”
I explained that Sister Mattie Lee had come by, and I told her about Miss Lovenia wanting me to work over there for a few days a week once I was done at her house.
“Well, are you gonna do it?” Miss Peggy asked.
I twisted my lips and laughed as quietly as I could. “Miss Peggy, you know Granny ain’t gonna let me work for no hoodoo woman.”
Miss Peggy laughed, and Miss Corinne stirred slightly. Miss Peggy patted her back to sleep like you would a little baby.
“You’re right. What was I thinking?” she said with a smile. “I can talk to her if you want me to. Once in a blue moon, Birdie will listen to me.”
“No ma’am. That’s all right,” I said. I didn’t even want Granny to know I had mentioned Miss Lovenia’s words to Miss Peggy. I suppose I should have been as nervous as Granny about me working for Miss Lovenia, but I thought about all that I had learned in church. We were told there was no such thing as hoodoo. But for some reason, we all seemed scared of it. Granny said just like folks can talk to the Lord, folks can talk to the devil, and as far as she was concerned, anybody who did hoodoo was bosom buddies with Satan. Before I could think about it any more, Granny came to Miss Peggy’s bedroom door.
“Opal, honey, we need to get ready for Miss Peggy’s company. They’ll be here before you know it,” she said and then looked sternly at Miss Peggy. “You stay on in that bed and rest just as long as you can.”
“Yes ma’am,” Miss Peggy said, smiling. She snuggled back close with Miss Corinne and closed her eyes. I hoped she would rest, even if she didn’t sleep.
Granny and I went back to the kitchen, and because we were so much in step with each other, we already knew how to divide up the cooking for Miss Peggy’s quilting party.
“You gonna make your lemon squares?” she asked.
“Yes ma’am,” I said. “Everybody seems to like them.” I also thought that I would secretly make a few extra for Cedric. I was hoping to see him later. I needed a way to apologize to him for finding me hugged up with Jimmy Earl. I needed him to know it didn’t mean nothing.
“I wish Miss Peggy would have canceled with those girls today,” Granny said as she cut some cucumbers into thin slices. “She ain’t well enough to be worrying with no quilt. Especially on a hot day like this.”
I agreed with Granny, but I didn’t say it out loud. I just kept measuring out everything I would need for my lemon squares. I didn’t want to mess around and say too much. I seldom kept secrets from Granny, but it felt like the older I got, the more secrets I had to carry. Kissing Cedric. Dreaming about Jimmy Earl. Miss Peggy fainting this morning. It was almost more than one body could stand. But, I thought, as I started grating my lemons, I guess that was what it meant to become a woman.