The Philosophical Musings of Bindy Mackenzie
Wednesday, 5.08 am
Think of an aeroplane preparing for departure. It taxis into take-off position and aligns itself with the runway centre line. The throttle advances smoothly; the plane accelerates; the engines roar. Any moment there will be lift-off! And then, quite suddenly, everything stops.
The take-off has been cancelled.
What becomes, pray tell, of that build-up and acceleration? Nay, where does the roar and the energy go if denied its embrace with the sky?
The Philosophical Musings of Bindy Mackenzie
5.15 am
Now think of a girl approaching Wednesday afternoon. (Last Wednesday afternoon, to be precise.) She has spent a lifetime biting her tongue at the moronic behaviour that surrounds her—responding to stupidity with sweetness—but now a decision has been made. She will no longer feign indifference. Speak the truth! she decides. Keep nothing to yourself! She is exhilarated, terrified, on fire! She has advanced to take-off position! She is aligned with the runway centre line! Her engines roar. Let it begin, she says.
And the Venomous Seven arrive.
The Philosophical Musings of Bindy Mackenzie
5.18 am
Oh, they are as stupid as ever. They are amazed that it’s going to rain! They reflect on foolish accidents from a stupid school excursion to Hill End several years before! (I’m not surprised Astrid remembers that excursion.) They dance and climb on furniture!
No, stupidity is not the problem. It’s as rife as ever.
The problem is this: their words loop between them and bind them tight. They form a kind of ring which she cannot penetrate. They are much like a circle of musk-ox protecting their calves from wolves.
She is cutting, biting, withering, acerbic and scornful! Yet, they scarcely hear her, and when they do, they pay not a flicker of heed.
The inanity escalates—the teacher thinks they should meet in Castle Hill! Emily Thompson thinks she should debate! But the girl’s efforts to inject the light of truth lead to nothing but vacant stares . . .
The Philosophical Musings of Bindy Mackenzie
5.22 am
It is a cancelled take-off, a postponed pyrotechnic display . . .
So where did the girl’s rapid heartbeat go? Where are her hopes and expectations?
The Philosophical Musings of Bindy Mackenzie
5.35 am
WELL, ALL I KNOW IS THIS.
I awoke the next morning with stomach cramps and a headache, feeling exhausted and ill. I threw up several times. And it seems pretty clear to me that my hopes and expectations, finding no relief, had turned themselves backwards onto ME.
The Philosophical Musings of Bindy Mackenzie
5.43 am
Of course, Auntie Veronica came down with the same symptoms the next day. She thinks we just caught the same flu.
The Philosophical Musings of Bindy Mackenzie
5.45 am
But NO!!
I do not believe that it was simply the flu!
I believe that I suffered an acute attack of:
ANTI-CLIMAX |