Styx
I saw Sia emerge through the doors and give me a huge smile. She threw up her thumbs, telling me Mae was ready. I kept my hands joined together so no fucker here could see them shaking.
I would sign today. I’d fucking made peace with that shit. The pastor knew, my brothers would expect nothing else, and now all I had to do was wait for Mae to walk outta that fucking door.
Ky leaned toward me. “You shitting yourself?” I glared at him. He laughed, and I pulled at my collar. It was fucking too hot out here.
The sound of Sia clearing her throat came from the back of the yard. I looked up, as did everyone else, and some froufrou classical music started to play from the sound system. It wasn’t Nelson or Waits, but Mae had picked it, so that made it all fucking okay.
Sia opened the door. I couldn’t see in, but I didn’t have to wait long. Grace stepped out looking as cute as fuck in her little white dress. Ky smiled as his daughter began throwing white petals on the floor. She walked down the aisle like she had no fucking care in the world then ran the last few steps until she was by Ky’s side.
“Good fucking job, kid,” he said and took hold of her hand.
Lilah was next, followed by Maddie. Ky was fixed on his wife, and when I looked at Flame, the brother looked about ready to launch from his seat just to be with Madds. Bella followed, Rider and his mother, Ruth, smiling at her from the back row.
And then my eyes locked on the doorway. I counted. I’d counted to eight when I saw the first flash of white. I tensed, all my muscles locked tight as Mae stepped out of the door arm in arm with Stephen . . . and I felt like I’d just taken a fucking crowbar to the stomach.
Fuck, but she was perfect. Mae clutched onto both her bouquet and her father as she made her way to the top of the aisle. Then she looked up, paralyzing me with that wolf-eyed gaze. Every fucker here seemed to fade away as I saw her smile under her veil, her pink lips bright and shining through the lace. She started walking, and it took everything I had not to race down the damn aisle, rip the veil from her face and smash my lips against hers.
But I held still, just watching this bitch—the bitch who had flipped my world upside down as a kid—make her way toward me. And with every step, I saw it all in my head. I saw her crouched behind the fence, crying. I saw my defective mouth open and speak to her, her big fucking blue eyes seeming too big for her face as she looked at me, as she joined her hand with mine through the chain fence. Then her on the floor of the compound behind the dumpster, opening her eyes, lying in my arms, fucking bleeding and dying. Her watching me play Waits, me being able to speak to her again. Kissing her against the tree at McKinney State Falls, her forgiving me for freaking out over her scars, then her letting me make her mine. Getting her back from the cult, then never fucking letting her go again. Then the best of all, her telling me she was having our kid and that she would finally be my fucking wife.
All of it was there in my mind. Every fucking day I’d spent with her.
Mae stopped at the end of the aisle. Stephen kissed her on the back of her hand, fucking smiling through his tears. He then turned to me and shook my hand before moving to sit on the front row, fucking beaming at his daughters. Ky moved aside, and I held out my hand to Mae. The second her small fingers pressed against my palm, I fucking breathed.
Finally fucking breathed.
I caught a glimpse of her eyes through the veil then, before I was even asked by the pastor, I lifted it over her head, cupped her cheeks, and pressed my lips against hers. Like she did every time, she melted against me. I heard my brothers calling out and Vike’s fucking annoying voice shouting, “Ain’t at that part yet, Prez!”
But I took her mouth, not giving one shit. She was mine. I’d take her fucking pink lips if I wanted to—I owned her and she fucking owned me. When I broke away, Mae giggled against my mouth.
Pastor Ellis leaned forward, grinning. “Shall we begin?”
The pastor started talking, talking some religious bullshit I had no interest in hearing. Then it was time for the vows. We’d agreed on just the normal vows. I didn’t want a fucking fanfare. I wanted my signing to be quick and to the point. Mae had been understanding, of course. She always was.
Mae went first. Ky gave her the ring. With her hand in mine, she repeated what the pastor told her to say. “I, Salome Nash, take thee, River Nash, to be my lawfully wedded husband . . .” And I listened to her. I listened to her tell me she’d fucking stand by me in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.
Pastor Ellis turned to me, and I felt my heart slam in my chest. I swallowed, feeling the python wrap around my throat. And it squeezed. It squeezed so fucking tight that I felt the muscles in my neck cord. Mae squeezed my hands. When I looked at her, I realized Pastor Ellis had spoken.
“Are you okay?” Mae whispered just for us to hear. I nodded once. Then I couldn’t fucking tear my eyes away. I stared at my bitch and was fucking floored. All black hair and blue eyes and those fucking pink lips. Her dress, our kid in her stomach . . . all of it. All of her. So fucking perfect. Right here. Right now.
“Mr. Nash, your vows,” Pastor Ellis said, and Mae pulled back her hands so I could sign. But as she did, something in me snapped and I held on tight. Her brows pulled down in confusion; then she tried again. But I still didn’t let go. I knew she’d be able to feel the shaking of my hands as I gripped onto her. I knew she’d be wondering what the fuck was happening. So I looked to the pastor and nodded my head, urging her to talk. She looked lost as fuck as well, but I gave no shits. I fucking had to do it.
Meeting Mae’s confused gaze, the pastor said, “Repeat after me. I, River Nash, take thee, Salome Nash to be my lawfully wedding wife.”
Fucking dead silence followed her words. So quiet that I heard my heart beating in my ears. Heard Mae’s quickening breathing. I heard my lips parting and my harsh breath coming from my throat.
“River, please, you don’t have to,” Mae whispered under her breath, her eyes widening as she realized what I was about to do.
What I fucking needed to do. This was Mae. Our wedding day. And I was fucking going to speak.
I tried to find the words, but all that came out was hot air. Swallowing, I ticced, my head flicking to the side—I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop those fuckers—and tried again. My fingers gripped on to Mae, and I found the ability to pathetically stutter, “I . . . I . . . R-R-R—” I closed my eyes and worked on loosening up my throat. “R-River . . . N-N-Nash.” A bead of sweat rolled down my neck. I opened my eyes, and the minute I saw Mae’s eyes shining with tears, fucking happy, proud fucking tears, I knew I had to keep going. Mae’s hands clutched onto me like she was my damn anchor. The bitch was, and she didn’t know just how much. “T-Take th-th-thee . . .” I paused, breathed, then stuttered, “S-S-Salome N-N-Nash t-t-t-to be, m-m-my lawfully w-w-w-wedded w-w-wife.” I blew out a breath like I’d just run a motherfucking marathon.
I heard a sob tear from Mae’s throat, and her arms were around my neck like a vise. “I love you,” she whispered and I fucking held her close. “I love you so much. I am so, so proud of you right now.”
I felt my throat try to close, but I would not let that fucker do it until I’d gotten through these vows. Mae stepped back, cheeks wet, as Pastor Ellis finished the last of the words.
I got through them . . . just. Then the rings were in our hands.
“I do,” Mae said and slid the black ring on my finger. I stared down at the piece of metal and knew that fucker would never be coming off.
“Do you, River Nash, take Salome to be your lawful wedded wife?”
Looking my wolf-eyed bitch right in the eyes, I opened my mouth and, without stuttering even once, said straight to Mae, “I do, babe.” The fucking smile I got from Mae could have lit up the fucking night.
“Then by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. River Nash!” I felt something catch in my motherfucking chest and had to cough to the clear the fucker away. Something different settled down. Fuck knew what, but I liked it. “River? You may now kiss your bride,” Pastor Ellis finished.
Before the end of her sentence had even left her mouth, I had placed my hands on Mae’s face and crushed my lips to hers. Mae moaned and fell against me. My brothers hooped and hollered, and I just took Mae’s mouth, ignoring them all. I pushed my tongue against hers and fucking held her tighter in my grip. I took and took until I pulled back to get a fucking breath. Mae’s eyes were dilated, and the tears still fell down her cheeks.
Beautiful.
“You spoke,” she whispered above the sound of everyone’s loud calls and celebratory gunshots. “You spoke, River. To me. In front of your club. Our vows.”
“Y-yeah,” I stuttered and wiped the tears away from her cheeks.
“My husband,” she said and turned her head to kiss the center of my palm. My fucking wife, I wanted to say in return, but the python was back in place and my words were gone. But for once, I didn’t give a shit. I’d spoken the ones that had needed to be said. And that was all that fucking mattered.
An arm hooked around my neck. “You fucking dick,” Ky said, but I heard the damn pride in his voice, the fucking rawness. I looked at my best friend, and he winked then shouted, “Get the fucking music on, bitches! Get the beer flowing and the fucking grill on full blast. We got a fucking wedding and the Hangmen Mute finally speaking to celebrate, motherfuckers!”
The brothers laughed and got to work. We ate, we fucking drank and, when the night closed in, Sia moved to the speakers and told all the brothers to get the hell out of the way. Mae took my hand and pulled me into the center of a makeshift circle. My brothers pissed themselves in laughter at me, but they didn’t have Mae in their arms so, as far as I was concerned, they could all fuck off.
“I-I d-d-don’t f-f-fuckin’ d-dance,” I whispered into Mae’s ear.
She laughed, the fucking high-pitched sound making my lips twitch. “Just this once, I promise,” she said when I heard familiar chords begin to play. I raised an eyebrow as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I gripped her waist as Tom Waits’s “I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You” began to play.
“I had to,” Mae said in response to my expression. “It was the song you sang to me when I woke from running away. The one that I will always think of when I think of you.” She shrugged and twitched that fucking nose, destroying me where I stood. “It is us.”
I yanked her closer and felt her head tuck into my neck. And then I sang. I sang the words that had brought her back to me, made her fucking mine. And I sang every word until the end. As the music changed from Waits to Garth Brooks, I said, “I w-want you home n-now.”
Mae met my eyes, nodded, and kissed me on my lips. “I want that too. I want to make love to you as man and wife. As Mr. and Mrs. Nash.”
So we left.
And I was gonna make her mine.
*****
I held Mae’s hand as we walked to the cabin. My thumb kept brushing against her wedding ring, and I couldn’t describe the fucking feeling that settled in my chest when it did. When I looked up, Mae was watching me, her pink lips pursed. “You like it as much as I do?” she asked, batting those huge black lashes of hers.
I lunged forward and lifted her in my arms. Mae squealed and laughed when I approached the door. “Beauty told me about this tradition,” she said as I opened the door to the cabin and stepped over the threshold with her in my arms. I leaned down and kissed her mouth. “I like it,” she added when I pulled back.
Bitch was killing me.
I took her straight to the bedroom and lowered her feet to the floor. Mae’s hand was on my chest, running over my Hangmen Texas tie. “I really like you like this, all dressed up. You look so handsome that I lost my breath when I saw you.”
Bitch was really killing me.
I crashed my mouth to hers and led us backward until Mae’s legs hit the end of the bed. She carefully lowered herself down, and I drew back. With Mae’s wolf eyes leaden, I shucked off my cut and tie. I ripped open the shirt she loved so much and tossed it to the ground.
Mae’s cheeks filled with red, and it took all I had not to just throw her back on the bed and fuck her. Something inside of me needed my dick in her immediately. Needed to make her Mae Nash. Needed to make her officially my old lady once and for fucking all.
“And now the jeans,” Mae said and I had to clench my jaw to hold myself back. I raised my eyebrows, and she hooked her lips up in a fucking sexy smile.
I snapped the buttons of my jeans and kicked them off my legs. My hand fisted my hard-as-fuck cock, and I walked toward her. Her chest was rising up and down as her breathing came faster. Her tits pushed against her dress then, making me groan out loud, her hand covered my hand on my cock. Her left hand with my ring on her finger. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the damn sight.
“Mae,” I growled then stepped back and freed our hands. She didn’t have her veil on now. Just that dress and, as much as I loved her in it, I fucking wanted it off. I lifted Mae from the bed and placed her before me. “F-fuckin love you,” I said and closed my eyes when her mouth hit my chest and her tongue flicked over my tattoos. Her hands ran down my sides until they crossed over the front, brushing over my hard cock.
I spun Mae around, finding the long line of buttons on her dress. I snapped them open, one by one, careful not to just lose my shit and rip the fucker off in pieces. When I reached the bottom, I spread the material and pushed it off her arms. I ran my mouth up her bare shoulders and neck, where her hair was tied up. Mae gasped and bumps broke out on her skin.
“Styx,” she whispered as I dragged the material off her hips until it reached the floor. She turned around, and I had to move the fuck back when I saw white lace covering her pussy and white stockings on her legs. “Fuck, b-bitch,” I rasped and my fingers ran over the waistband of the panties.
“I wore them for you,” she said quietly; then she leaned against my chest. Her full tits—now much bigger from being knocked up—pressed against my skin. The tip of my dick ran against her stomach, and I clutched the lace panties in my fists. I pulled, not giving two shits that I ripped them clean off. “Styx!” she said in shock. I ran my fingers along her pussy and over her clit. The minute I did her words faded into a long groan. “They c-come off.” I stepped back and pointed to the stockings and garters. “B-But they st-stay the fuck o-on.”
“Yes,” she said, lips swollen and nipples fat. I lifted her in my arms, smashing my lips to hers. Mae’s fingers gripped my hair as I lowered her onto the bed and climbed on top of her. Her stomach was so big now that she normally rode me or I took her from behind, but tonight . . . “I wanna f-fucking s-see your face,” I said and reached for the pillow. I tucked it under Mae’s back, raising her hips. I hooked her legs over my arms; then I ducked my head, spread her pussy lips, and licked from her hole to her clit.
“Styx!” she cried and clawed at my hair. Her clit was already swollen and full, and I knew it wouldn’t take her much to come.
I flicked my tongue over her clit until her hips started bucking. I kept her spread open as I drank her down. Then Mae tensed and screamed as she came. I lapped at her pussy until she jerked and tried to push my head away.
I kissed her inner thighs then moved over her hips, over her bump, until I reached her tits. I licked the flesh and sucked her hard nipples into my mouth. When I glanced up, Mae’s eyes were closed and her lips were parted. Strands of her hair had fallen from their clips. And she looked fucking perfect.
I kissed up her neck, then her mouth. I pushed my tongue inside, knowing she’d be able to taste herself on my tongue. But Mae took it, bringing me closer. Breaking from her mouth, I pushed the fallen hair from her face. “F-fuckin’ wife,” I whispered out and saw her eyes close like they were best fucking words she’d ever heard.
“My husband,” she said when her eyes reopened and she ran her fingers down my face.
“Mae,” I growled, needing to be inside her. Moving further between her legs, I braced my cock at her hole then pushed forward. I braced her head with my hands, holding my stomach off hers. Mae’s hands wrapped around my neck, and I never once broke eye contact. Those fucking eyes that had me under her goddamn spell. Mae’s eyes, Persephone’s eyes . . . fucking ice-blue wolf eyes.
I gritted my teeth when I filled her, bottomed the fuck out. “River,” Mae whispered, her eyes fucking shining with tears. She’d called me River. Even now, after all this time, when she called me by my real name in her weird accent, I fucking lost it.
“B-Babe,” I hissed as I pulled out then pushed back inside. “F-fuckin’ perfect,” I added, rolling my hips as I took her harder and faster. Mae moaned, her lips parting as she lost her breath. I moved faster still, harder, deeper, then reached for one of her hands behind my neck. I pushed my fingers through hers and laid her hand flat on the bed. I did the same with the other hand and stared at the rings on our fingers. Those fucking rings. Those fucking pieces of damn metal and gold stealing my motherfucking breath.
“My husband,” Mae murmured again and I felt her pussy clamping down on my cock. “Styx . . . I am . . . I am . . .” she moaned, cutting off her words, before her eyes locked with mine and she came. Her pussy gripped my cock, and the sight of her, head tipped back, mouth open, had me slamming inside her one more time as I came too, filling her with my cum, her pussy draining all I had.
I pushed inside her over and over until I slipped to the side, bringing her with me. We were coated in sweat, but I fucking loved how she looked, well-fucked and all fucking mine. I still held her hand, the one with the ring. Nothing was said as we caught our breath, until Mae moved her head closer to mine. “It is strange, is it not, how such a small piece of jewelry can make your heart feel so complete?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice dry and raw.
“Yet it feels as though it has always been there. Always destined for this simple ring to grace it. I think when God designed me, he already had you in mind. Look.” Mae held up her hands, her fucking small fingers against mine: pale against tanned, clean against tattooed. “A perfect fit.”
“F-fucking k-k-killin’ me, b-bitch,” I said and watched her smile up at me. Christ, I was sure no fucking other bitch on the damn planet was as beautiful as her.
“I was so proud of you today,” she said her eyes shining again.
I shrugged. “W-wanted to say those v-vows.”
“You floored me, and everyone else there.” She guided my hand to her stomach, and I laughed when I felt our son kick. Mae giggled. “I think that Charon is telling you he was proud of his daddy too.” I didn’t know why, but that was the comment that fucking hit me hard.
“D-don’t think I ever made my old m-man p-proud,” I confessed and watched Mae’s expression fall. I ran my hand over her pale stomach, smirking when my kid kicked again. “W-Wanna be a g-good dad, M-Mae. Want ou-our son to be pr-proud of m-me.”
“He will be,” she whispered, and I watched the tears roll down her face. “How could he not? You stood up at the altar today and spoke. I watched you fight back your demons and win. I watched you fight your throat for the words you so badly wanted to say. In front of a crowd—your worst fear—yet you spoke. You took my hands, although they shook, and committed yourself to me . . . and our son, out loud.” She paused. “He will be nothing but proud of you. And I will watch him adore you, want to be just like you. His daddy, who struggles yet rises, victorious, every time.”
I swallowed at her words, and she moved closer to me. Her head was on my pillow. “What?” I asked.
“I wrote vows for you, River.” I nodded, knowing that she had. I’d seen some of them on her notepad. “I wrote them before we decided on the traditional vows.” She glanced away then, coming back to me, said, “I would like to say them to you now.”
I nodded. There was no fucking way I could speak. Mae cleared her throat and held onto my hand. Then she spoke. “River. I did not know what life was until I found you. The boy who came into my life as a child. The boy with no voice who miraculously found words in my presence. The boy who kissed me on my lips, blessing me with the foreign, unreachable concept of hope. The boy I was always destined to love. The boy who held the sweetest music in his heart, who saved me, and showed me what it was to be home.” Mae laughed when her voice cracked with emotion.
But I kept listening. I didn’t want to miss a damn word. “You accepted me, a girl who had known nothing but pain and sorrow in her life. And from the moment I saw you again, years after you comforted me by the fence as a broken, bruised child . . .” She smiled. “And kissed my lips as an eight-year-old girl, I was yours. We fought. We had to fight hard to be together, through too many obstacles to count. But in the end, our love was triumphant. A love that was impossible to forge in such a harsh world, but one that rose from the ashes regardless, to be pure and real and true.” Mae placed her hand on my cheek. “Because you are my Hades, my misunderstood, tortured dark lord. And I am your queen, your Persephone, the blue-eyed woman who saw through your shield and won the trophy of your heart. Forever to keep. Forever mine. And mine, forever yours.”
Mae exhaled when she finished, and I had no fucking words. I never did, but this time it was worse.
“Y-You’re it for m-me, b-babe,” I said and watched Mae’s face melt into fucking pure happiness. “Y-You know that, y-yeah? I ain’t g-got words, b-but I got that p-promise.”
“Thank you,” she whispered like I’d just written her a damn poem or some shit. “Love you, babe,” I said and kissed her fucking lips once more.
“I love you too,” she said then beamed a fucking smile my way. “And you did not stutter, not even once.”
So I took her fucking mouth again.
When Mae pulled back, she said, “Play. Play for me, River.” Her hand went to her stomach. “For us.” Slipping from the bed, I took hold of my Fender and sat beside her. Mae lay against my shoulder and put her arm around my waist.
And I played. I played and sang until I took her again, face to face, staring into those fucking wolf eyes I loved so much.
The ones I was never letting go.
Not even for a fucking second.