JuneBug laughs. “Oh please tell me your mom told you about sex.”
It’s way too close to the truth. “Shut up. But speaking of, how old were you when you had your first experience?”
JuneBug looks at me. “Um, what are you talking about? You’re gonna to have to narrow it down.”
My face starts to turn red. I can feel the blood creeping up to my neck. I push on. “You know, the deed. How did you decide to um, do that?”
JuneBug still sits there, silent for seconds. “Oooohh. You mean sex? I was kidding. Do you seriously have questions about sex?”
I sigh, exasperated. “No, listen to me. I don’t want your dirty, gruesome details. I just want to know how it made you feel, you know, after.”
JuneBug shrugs and shakes a little, as if to shake off her memories. “I don’t know, that’s kind of personal.”
“Alright, I respect that. I’m sorry. I’m just, like curious.”
JuneBug takes a deep breath. “Well, the first time was awful, just like they say. It hurts. It’s totally unromantic, and then there’s like blood after, and most guys aren’t very cool about it. The first guy I ever knew; his ass couldn’t hit the door fast enough. I never heard from him personally again. We, my friends and I much later, decided he was the virginity collector. It seems like as soon as he got it from one girl, he moved right on to the next. We were young and dumb and didn’t know anything, and he was so hot. We didn’t know what he was doing until it was like, too late.
“And then, we all got into a big fight over this douchebag. So, like he split up all our friendships, and the whole experience was totally sucky. So then, I like, kept to myself for a while, and kind of got into social media. I like wrote a bunch of self-hate poems and man-hater poems, projecting through terrible slam poetry. Then, the next guy; we dated for a while before I gave it up again. He was okay, but he liked to talk about it in the locker room, which I found out, like after we broke up or whatever.”
I’m so mad! I can’t help it. “JuneBug. That’s so not cool! What a jerk.” I pause. I’m confused. “You told me Chris was your first and you two still talk.”
She rolls her eyes. “I lied, okay? I wasn’t as cool as I let on. Yes, Chris was my first. No, we are not friends. It was a long time ago.” She sighs. “Anyway, I dumped the big mouth because he was just, immature, I guess. He didn’t do much for me. And then, I don’t know, I dated a few more because they knew of my reputation, so then, I don’t know, I thought I owed them something because they knew what I had done with the douchebag because of his big fat mouth. So, um, I gave what I didn’t want to a few times because I felt obligated.
It sounds stupid, I know, but guys can be like real a-holes and make you feel pretty crappy about yourself. So after those fiascos, and not really having anyone treat me decent, I kind of stopped altogether and I guess that’s where I am now. I’m like on a celibate sabbatical or spiritually wholesome no-sex journey of some sort. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold out, though. Ernesto’s pretty cute and I, um, kind of like doing the deed.”
I giggle uncomfortably. “Well, at least you’re honest about it.”
JuneBug laughs. “Yeah. Well, I kind of got revenge on the loose lips locker-room douchebag. I like lied to him and told him I took a picture of his nonexistent package and that I would like, send it to the whole school if he didn’t stop talking about our little escapades. That shut him up real quick, because it was true. His package wasn’t very big. I mean, it was definitely small in comparison to the other ones I’ve seen.”
I stare at JuneBug in disbelief. “So you don’t have a picture, but he thinks you do, and he was so paranoid about it getting out, he didn’t even try to call your bluff?”
“Yep! Between my outing threat and convincing him I’d go all Lorena Bobbitt on his piece, cause I’m a pretty convincing vindictive bitch if the need calls for it, he was truly terrified by the time I got done with him. Frankly, I don’t care. Serves him right for being such a user who runs his mouth.”
I nod my head in agreement. “What a bloody prick.”
JuneBug sits there a bit in silence. “So, have you decided if Oliver is worth the deed?”
I’m immediately befuddled. “Oh. I don’t know. I mean, I try not to think about that. I totally like being around him. I love the way he kisses, have no doubts about how it would be; but it’s not a matter of attraction for me, I just don’t know if I want to. It’s a pretty big deal to me. I don’t think I can respect myself if I give it up easily and I’m not sure if I’m even close to loving Oliver. I mean, I’m a senior in high school, I don’t even know myself fully yet. So, how can I really know if I love someone else?”
JuneBug has her guard up again, I can feel it. “Geez. Chill out. I was just asking a question. You went all deep waters on me. I gotta get out a life preserver cause I’m like drowning over here.”
I sigh. “Well, I’m sorry. This conversation is deep waters to me—there’s no getting around it. I don’t take that stuff lightly. I mean, it’s my body that I’m talking about. It’s extremely personal. I’m not going to let just anyone have access, if you get what I’m saying. So, I like, really don’t know.” We sit there for a while in silence. I turn on the radio and we drive along, singing our hearts out, cranking our favorite songs.
I drop JuneBug home. I get in the door and my mom is on the Internet as I walk in. She shuts it down, like a teenager who got caught red handed. My interest is piqued, but I don’t say anything. I’m still all psyched from the shopping trip. She holds out her hands, “Well, come on, woman, let me see all your treasures!”
I so love my mom. I race in the bathroom and squeeze back into the dress. I slip the shoes on my feet. I walk out like I’m on a catwalk. She raises her eyebrow at the dress. She’s struggling, I can see that. “The dress fits you well. It’s a little snug?”
I try not to get defensive and go all JuneBug on her. “Well… I tried on a lot of dresses, you know, all the frilly lacy, chiffon, and sparkles? I mean I really tried... But none of them were like, calling my name so we kept looking, and then I found this one and I tried it on, and it was just like, The One.. I mean, I know it has…like a trace of Vegas strip .. but I think the heels put it on the level. I mean, check these out!” I point my foot toward her.”
She sighs. “Okay, those shoes are killer. I mean, I totally want some. But you gotta understand, you’re my little girl. I don’t like seeing you like all catwalk and fierce. And I don’t care how skinny your tush is, you wear that clingy body-hugging thing, you’re going to get a pair of Spanx.”
I can see the inner wheels of my mom’s brain working; full body spanx = modern-day chastity belt. That’s okay. Between this dress and my feelings for Oliver, full body armor wouldn’t hurt….