5

Relying on Spiritual Mentors

AT PRESENT we have a precious human life complete with access to Dharma teachers and teachings. This fortunate situation came about due to great merit that we created in previous lives. Not wanting to waste the efforts of our previous lives, we should take advantage of this rare opportunity by learning and practicing the Dharma. If we are too busy to attend Dharma teachings while both we and our teachers are alive, we may later regret having lost the chance.

In a Pāli sūtra there is the story of a spirit who had full confidence in Bhikkhunī Sukkā and lamented that the people of Rājagaha did not take advantage of the teachings she gave. Even though a large assembly was present at a teaching, he was eager for more beings to benefit, and so went around the town of Rājagaha chanting (SN 10.9):

What has happened to these people in Rājagaha?

They sleep as if they’ve been drinking mead.

Why don’t they attend on Sukkā

as she teaches the deathless state?

But the wise, as it were, drink it up —

that [Dhamma] irresistible,

ambrosial, nutritious —

as travelers do a cloud.

Dharma teachings are more life sustaining than ordinary food and drink. The more we imbibe the Dharma, the more joy fills our minds and hearts. With this in mind, we now turn our attention to how to cultivate a good relationship with our spiritual mentors, the ones who kindly instruct us on the path.

The Benefits of Relying on Spiritual Mentors

Some people translate the term bshes gnyen bsten pa as “guru devotion.” This English term may be misleading, evoking the image of blindly surrendering to a holy authority figure, which is certainly not the intended meaning. Bshes gnyen means spiritual friend or spiritual mentor. Bsten pa means to rely or depend on. For our Dharma practice to be successful, we must properly rely on a wise and compassionate spiritual mentor and guide.

Before engaging in any activity, it’s helpful to know the advantages of doing so and the disadvantages of not doing so or doing it improperly. Many benefits accrue from properly relying on a spiritual mentor or mentors.

•Our thoughts and words will become virtuous because we will follow our spiritual mentor’s wise advice.

•For the same reason, we won’t bring suffering on ourselves or others.

•We will complete the two collections of merit and wisdom and attain full awakening by following reliable teachings.

•We will be able to work for the benefit of sentient beings, including those who have entered wrong paths.

•Because our spiritual mentor teaches us how to purify our negativities, we will exhaust destructive karma that would have ripened in lengthy, unfortunate rebirths. It may instead ripen in this life as comparatively mild discomfort or harm.

•Due to the important role our spiritual mentors play in our lives, we will create great merit, more than is created by making offerings to limitless buddhas.

•By properly relying on our spiritual mentors in this life, we will meet qualified spiritual mentors in future lives.

•Our good qualities will increase, and we will accomplish the welfare of ourselves and others.

•Under our teachers’ compassionate guidance, we will feel supported and inspired in our practice.

All of the benefits come about because we listen with an open mind to teachings from a qualified spiritual mentor and put them into practice. However, if we despise, disdain, or reproach our spiritual mentors, many disadvantages accrue. We will have to endure unfortunate rebirths because of the destructive karma we create from insulting or getting angry at them. We will experience harm and illness in this life. Our good qualities will degenerate and no new good qualities will arise because we won’t practice the Dharma. In short, none of the advantages will accrue to us, while their opposites will.

REFLECTION

1.Imagine your spiritual mentors appearing in the space in front of you and looking at you with kindness.

2.Contemplate each advantage of properly relying on a spiritual mentor.

3.Contemplate the disadvantages of not relying on a spiritual mentor or of improperly relying on one.

4.Conclude with a determination to rely on a spiritual mentor with a pure heart and to follow his or her instructions in a systematic way.

Cultivate Trust by Seeing Their Qualities

We rely on our spiritual mentors in two ways: through our thoughts and our actions. Relying on them through our thoughts entails cultivating two attitudes: trust and faith in our mentors, which are developed by reflecting on their good qualities, and appreciation and respect for them, which arise from reflecting on their kindness to us.

Faith moistens our minds and makes it receptive. It also energizes us to accomplish our goals. The Ten Teaching Sūtra (Daśadharmaka Sūtra) says (LC l:80):

Faith is the best of vehicles,

definitely delivering you into buddhahood.

Therefore, persons of intelligence

rely on the guidance of faith.

Virtues will not arise

in those who have no faith,

just as green sprouts do not grow

from seeds scorched by fire.

Common faith is faith we have in a particular teacher, although we may not be his or her student at this time. It is called common because it is shared by those who are his disciples and those who are not. Uncommon faith is the faith held by a teacher’s students. With such trust and faith, we feel close to our teachers, which enables them to influence us in constructive ways.

Trust is generated by reflecting on our teachers’ qualities and the role they play in our lives, which is similar to the role the Buddha would play if he were alive today. Our spiritual teachers play a singular role in our lives, for they are the ones who teach, guide, and encourage us along the path. Through their actions they evince the conduct of realized beings. Without their compassionate assistance, it would be extremely difficult for us to cultivate wisdom and to progress toward awakening. The more we practice, the closer we become to our mentors’ minds and the Buddha’s mind, strengthening and increasing our faith in the teachings and, by extension, in those who teach and guide us.

An example of this is the young spiritual seeker Sudhana, the main character of the Array of Stalks Sūtra (Gaṇḍavyūha Sūtra). Sudhana earnestly sought to learn the bodhisattvas’ practices. Each spiritual mentor he went to taught him a portion and then referred him to another spiritual mentor to continue his learning. As Sudhana learned and practiced the bodhisattva deeds, his regard for his spiritual mentors increased. Here is the scene in which Sudhana approaches Avalokiteśvara, the twenty-seventh of his fifty-three mentors:

Transported with joy on seeing Avalokiteśvara, his eyes fixed on him, his mind undistracted, full of the energy of faith in the spiritual mentor, thinking of seeing spiritual mentors as at once seeing buddhas, thinking of the reception of the multitudes of all truths as originating in spiritual mentors, thinking of the attainment of all virtues as deriving from spiritual mentors, thinking of how hard it is to meet spiritual mentors, thinking of spiritual mentors as the source from which the jewels of knowledge of the ten powers are obtained, thinking of spiritual mentors as the source of vision of inexhaustible knowledge, thinking that the growth of the sprouts of goodness depends on spiritual mentors, thinking that the door of omniscience is revealed by spiritual mentors, thinking that the way to enter the ocean of great knowledge is pointed out by spiritual mentors, thinking that the accumulation of the store of omniscience is fostered by spiritual mentors, Sudhana approached Avalokiteśvara.29

By reflecting on our teachers’ qualities, ethical conduct, kindness, meditative abilities, and so on, we will have a positive view of them. Our trust and inspiration will increase and our minds will be receptive to their teachings. This is not blind faith, because there are reasons to hold this person in high regard and to have confidence in his or her ability to guide us on the path.

However, if we don’t use our capacity for critical thinking to contemplate the reasonings proving emptiness and instead employ it to analyze the faults of our spiritual mentor, we put ourselves in the precarious position of possibly angrily cutting off the relationship with our mentor and abandoning Dharma practice. We are the ones who suffer the most, should this happen. The benefit or loss that accrues to us in our relationship with our spiritual mentor depends on which qualities we choose to focus.

We may have more than one spiritual mentor; it is up to us. Atiśa had over 140 mentors, while Dromtonpa had less than five. Since it is important to have a positive regard for our teachers, if we have an extremely critical and judgmental mind, it may be better to have fewer teachers.

Having faith and respect for teachers sitting on high thrones, whom we seldom see, is easy. It is much more challenging to appreciate the teacher who gives us daily or weekly Dharma teachings and to whom we offer service. We tend to treat that mentor like an old friend and cease to appreciate his or her qualities and kindness. Because we may easily start to criticize his habits or stop listening to his advice, we must take special care in our relationships with the teachers we see often to ensure that our attitude and behavior do not sabotage this most precious relationship.

Since we learn by observing the example of others, reflecting on our teachers’ positive qualities will inspire us to make an effort to develop them ourselves. If we have the opportunity to live near our teachers and help them with various projects, we will witness Dharma lived in daily life by observing how our teachers treat people and manage a variety of situations judiciously and compassionately. Learning by observing a wise practitioner is a precious opportunity, one that cannot be gained by reading a book.

Whether or not our teachers are highly realized, we benefit by seeing them in a positive light. If we think someone is an ordinary person, even if he or she teaches us a profound topic, we will not listen or take their words seriously. But if we think an awakened being is teaching us, we will listen carefully and put the teachings into practice. In this way trust and faith in our spiritual mentors supports us in our practice and uplifts us when we feel discouraged.

Cultivate Appreciation and Respect by Seeing Their Kindness

Countless buddhas have appeared in the past, and of these, Śākyamuni Buddha is the kindest to us because he expounded the teachings in our world. Although we did not have the fortune to receive teachings directly from him or from the lineage of sages in India and Tibet that carried his word to the present day, our spiritual mentors act as messengers delivering these priceless teachings to us. Through their kindness we have access to the vast and profound teachings that show us the path to awakening.

Due to our teachers’ kindness, we now have the opportunity to gain some Dharma understanding, leave positive imprints on our mindstream, and gain realizations. Although our parents and close friends love us and wish us well, they do not have the ability to lead us out of the morass of saṃsāra. The kindness of our spiritual mentors — who alone have the knowledge and skill to guide us — is incomparable. The Ten Teaching Sūtra says (LC 1:83):

Develop the following ideas with respect to your teachers: I have wandered for a long time through cyclic existence, and they search for me. I have been asleep, having been obscured by confusion for a long time, and they wake me . . . I have entered a bad path, and they reveal the good path to me. They release me from being bound in the prison of saṃsāra . . . They are the rain clouds that put out my blazing fire of attachment.

Thinking of the kindness of our teachers in this way, heartfelt gratitude, appreciation, and veneration will naturally arise for them. This joyful attitude removes obstacles and facilitates our practice. The Array of Stalks Sūtra expresses the immense kindness of our spiritual mentors (LC 1:83–84):

The teachers are those who protect me from all miserable rebirths; they cause me to know the equality of phenomena; they show me the paths that lead to happiness and those that lead to unhappiness; they instruct me in deeds always auspicious; they reveal to me the path to the city of omniscience . . . they cause me to enter the ocean of the sphere of reality; they show me the sea of past, present, and future phenomena; and they reveal to me the circle of the āryas’ assembly. The teachers increase all my virtues. Remembering this, you will weep.

Sudhana reflects:

I, Sudhana, have come here

thinking one-pointedly, “These are my teachers, instructors in the teachings,

the ones who totally reveal the good qualities of all things

and then fully teach the bodhisattva way of life . . .

“These bodhisattvas have caused my mind to develop,

they have produced my awakening as a bodhisattva,

therefore, these, my teachers, are praised by the buddhas.”

With such virtuous thoughts, I have come here.

“As they protect the world, they are like heroes;

they are captains, protectors, and refuge.

They are an eye providing me with happiness.”

With such thoughts, I respect and serve my teachers.

REFLECTION

1.Had you not met your spiritual mentors, what might your life be like now? What would you be doing? What might the state of your mind be?

2.Among all those whom you hold dear and who love you, do any of them have the ability to guide you on the path to full awakening?

3.What do the Dharma teachings mean to you? How valuable are they? Allow yourself to feel gratitude and respect for those who have taught you.

Seeing Spiritual Mentors as Buddhas

Because of the influence of Vajrayāna in all four Tibetan Buddhist traditions, disciples are instructed to cultivate the perception of their gurus as buddhas. It is important to understand this correctly in order to avoid confusion. In the context of tantra, seeing the guru as the Buddha is important. A guru who is able to give all four empowerments of highest yoga tantra based on his or her own experience is definitely a buddha, and seeing him or her as a buddha is reasonable. Some gurus who give empowerments do not have that experience, but if we see them as buddhas, it increases our concentration and enhances our meditative experience.

When we view our spiritual mentors as the Buddha, buddhahood does not seem so distant. We come to feel close to the Buddha and begin to think that awakening is possible and awakened beings actually exist. Although not all spiritual mentors are buddhas — some of our mentors are ordinary beings — our practice will progress well from maintaining a positive view of them. For example, in the past the presidents of a country were fully qualified — they were honest, responsible, and cared for the citizens. Later on the quality of the presidents declined. Nevertheless, we see these people as presidents because they have that title, perform that function, and represent our country. We respect them but do not blindly follow them.

The teaching to see the spiritual mentor as the Buddha is borrowed from highest yoga tantra and is often taught earlier on the path to prepare disciples to receive tantric empowerments. However, this teaching is not appropriate for beginners because it is open to misunderstanding. As noted above, the Fundamental Vehicle and Perfection Vehicle do not instruct us to view our teacher as a buddha, although we may personally choose to do so.

We Tibetans say that it’s best not to bring the topic of seeing the spiritual mentor as the Buddha to the debate ground because the argument cannot be sustained. In a debate, one monk once asked another, “Some texts say that our spiritual mentors are buddhas. Do you agree?” The second monk replied affirmatively. Then the first monk asked, “You have disciples here in the monastery. Are you also a buddha?” at which point the second monk was chagrined because he knew he was not.

Tsongkhapa’s presentation of relying on a spiritual master in the Lamrim Chenmo is well balanced, and if we follow that, less confusion will arise. He says (LC l: 81–82):

Moreover, pay attention to the good qualities that the guru does have — such as ethical conduct, learnedness, and faith — and reflect on these qualities. Once you have become conditioned to this, you may notice that your guru has a small number of faults. However, this does not impede your faith because you are focusing on the good qualities.

Tsongkhapa does not say to see our teacher’s faults as good qualities or to see all his actions as perfect. In the Lamrim Chenmo he expounds very little on seeing the guru as the Buddha,30 and when he does, his purpose is to prevent us from damaging our relationship with our guru. He encourages us to see their good qualities so that we will benefit from their teachings and guidance.

We should avoid fanciful ideas, such as thinking, “Since my mentor is a buddha, he doesn’t get sick,” and not call the doctor when he is ill. We live in the conventional world and must act appropriately. If our teacher makes a mistake while reading a text or explaining its meaning, it is fine to respectfully point it out. We should avoid thinking that since he is an omniscient buddha he should know the way to a distant place, and then become disillusioned when he asks us directions.

Also to be avoided is idealizing our spiritual mentors. There is a Tibetan saying, “A student who is too devoted makes the lama into a hypocrite.” The lama cannot possibly live up to the glowing acclaim the disciple has spread about him or her in the community. Having an idealistic attitude sets us up for disappointment. It is impossible for anyone to continually fulfill our unrealistic expectations.

The measure of gaining proper reliance on the spiritual masters is wholeheartedly appreciating their good qualities and not focusing on their weaknesses. In general, seeing the spiritual mentor as a buddha is a form of useful and constructive imagination; in most cases it is not a reliable cognizer. Even though there are definitely ordinary beings and bodhisattvas among those who teach the Dharma, regarding our teachers as buddhas, listening to their teachings, practicing accordingly, and respectfully serving our mentors enables us to be more receptive to teachings and wise advice and to experience many other positive results.

The meditation to see our spiritual mentors as buddhas is similar to the meditation to imagine the entire Earth covered with skeletons: both involve imagination that is consciously cultivated and will have a beneficial effect on our minds. Ignorance is not the cause of imagining bones covering the ground, so this is not a wrong consciousness. We intentionally meditate in this way to derive benefit; in this case, the reduction of attachment to our body and to saṃsāric existence. Similarly, while our spiritual mentors may or may not be buddhas, we benefit from thinking of them as such because it makes us listen attentively to their teachings and take their Dharma instructions seriously.

If our mind seizes every opportunity to find imperfections in our spiritual mentors, it is helpful to reflect, “Why am I here? It is not to notice my teachers’ shortcomings but to learn from their good qualities.” This brings us back to the reason we are practicing the Dharma.

Should we see flaws in our teachers we can transform them into a learning experience. If our teacher behaves rudely, we think, “This is how I look when I am rude.” This way we will learn from the situation. If we can’t give our spiritual mentors — who have more good qualities than faults — space to be human, it will be difficult to develop tolerance and forgiveness toward sentient beings who have many faults.

Sometimes the “faults” we find in our mentors are actually differences in personal preference. Our teacher likes to wake up early; we like to sleep late. Our mentor loves butter tea; we think it’s unhealthy. Our teacher likes to have a long teaching session with no breaks; we prefer shorter ones with a lot of breaks. None of these are ethical faults on the part of the teacher. Observing how we make differences into faults gives us insight into our habitual way of thinking that needs to be corrected.

We should not force ourselves to see our spiritual mentor as the Buddha out of fear of creating destructive karma or “doing it wrong.” Past masters recommend this practice because they benefited from it. If we try following their advice, we may see a favorable effect. But if this feels uncomfortable, we can turn our minds to topics that inspire us.

The Role of Devotion

The spiritual mentor is often said to be the root of the path, in that this relationship nourishes and stabilizes our practice. But just as a plant also depends on a seed, water, fertilizer, and warmth, we need additional conditions to grow in the Dharma, such as purification and accumulating merit; listening to teachings; cultivating renunciation, bodhicitta, and the correct view; and practicing the three higher trainings and the six perfections. If only respecting and serving our spiritual mentors were adequate for attaining awakening, the Buddha would not have taught a myriad of other practices.

The above is a general explanation applicable to the great majority of people. There are a few cases in which a specific individual, because of his or her very strong devotion and singular karmic connection with a special teacher, is liberated by means of an encounter with that spiritual mentor. Such a situation depends on a highly qualified disciple encountering a highly realized spiritual mentor. In such a case, if the disciple has deep devotion for the spiritual master, it is possible that the grosser levels of mind are neutralized and the subtlest mind becomes active. With this comes the understanding and experience of emptiness. Genuine compassion arises toward sentient beings who are totally immersed in duḥkha and ignorant of that fact. Here compassion arises automatically as a byproduct of the subtle mind experiencing emptiness.

There are stories of a few exceptional disciples, and I have met a few individuals who have had profound experiences or have gained realizations through an encounter with their teacher. Their faith in their spiritual mentor was so strong that it was as if they had fallen unconscious. But when they revived from this unconscious state, it was apparent that they had had a deep experience of clear light.

Someone may ask, “Is such a thing possible if the teacher is not highly realized but the disciple has tremendous faith?” Both the spiritual mentor and disciple must be fully qualified for this to occur. If the teacher is not, how could that person spark in a disciple’s mind a realization that is not present in his or her own mind?

Most of the exceptional cases of gaining realizations primarily through faith are found in the Kagyu and Dzogchen lineages, where devotion is emphasized. A quotation from a Kagyu text says there is no doubt about the possibility of being liberated through devotion and veneration. This refers to those few individual cases in whom all the causes and conditions have come together for this to happen. Applying this notion to the general Buddhist population would be a mistake. If everyone could be awakened only through intense devotion, there would be little difference between Buddhism and theistic religions. Furthermore, the Buddha would not have given teachings that constitute more than one hundred volumes in the Tibetan canon. Here we again see that the teachings and modes of practice relevant to specific individuals differ from those given in the general system of Buddhist teachings and practice. It is important not to confuse these. The teachings of the Nālandā tradition are given from the perspective of the general structure of the path and pertain to practitioners in general, whereas these exceptional cases apply primarily to mahāsiddhas.

Relying on Spiritual Mentors in Our Actions

Having contemplated how to rely on spiritual mentors through our thoughts, we now turn to relying on them through our actions. There are three principal practices.

First, we make material offerings to our spiritual mentors. Because of their qualities, kindness, and the important role they play in our lives, our mentors are potent objects with which we create karma. By making offerings we create great merit, which we dedicate for the awakening of all sentient beings. From the side of spiritual mentors, the quality or quantity of offerings must not influence the diligence with which they guide disciples. Geshe Sharawa, one of the twelfth-century Kadam geshes, said that a spiritual mentor who pays attention to the offerings he or she receives is not a suitable teacher for a disciple aspiring to full awakening.

Second, we respect and serve our mentors, offering our time and energy to assist in their various projects to benefit others. Offering service also includes tending to their personal needs, such as cooking, cleaning, running errands, and caring for them when they are ill.

Third, we offer our practice, meaning that we practice according to our mentors’ instructions. This is the best offering, far excelling the first two, because it involves taming our minds by putting the Dharma instructions into practice. Doing this is the offering that most pleases our spiritual mentors.

The Pāli scriptures say that the seven trainees — approachers and abiders who are stream-enterers, once-returners, and nonreturners, and approachers to arhat who have realized impermanence, duḥkha, and selflessness and have some realization of nirvāṇa — serve the Teacher, the Buddha, with acts of love. Arhats, who have eliminated all afflictions and causes for cyclic existence, completely serve the Teacher with acts of love.

When addressing a group of self-indulgent and lax monastics who did not keep the precepts well or make effort in the practice, the Buddha said (MN 70.26):

Even with a [non-Buddhist] teacher who is concerned with material things, an heir to material things, attached to material things, such haggling [by his disciples] would not be proper: “If we get this, we will do it; if we don’t get this, we won’t do it.” So what [should be said when the teacher is] the Tathāgata who is utterly detached from material things?

Even in the case of a non-Buddhist teacher who seeks material gain with attachment, it is not suitable for students to be demanding or rebellious, following the teacher’s instructions only if it pleases their self-centeredness and not following when they don’t feel like it. Needless to say, this should not be the behavior of disciples who have an actual tathāgata as their teacher. We must recall that our teachers instruct us for our benefit, not theirs. Wanting to progress on the path, we should listen well to the teachings and put them into practice so as not to waste either our teachers’ efforts or our own time. The Buddha continues (MN 70.27):

For a faithful disciple who is intent on fathoming the Teacher’s dispensation, it is proper that he conduct himself thus: “The Blessed One is the Teacher, I am a disciple; the Blessed One knows, I do not know.” For a faithful disciple who is intent on fathoming the Teacher’s dispensation, that dispensation is nourishing and refreshing. For a faithful disciple who is intent on fathoming the Teacher’s dispensation, it is proper that he conduct himself thus: “Willingly, let only my skin, sinews, and bones remain, and let the flesh and blood dry up on my body, but my energy shall not be relaxed so long as I have not attained what can be attained by human strength, human energy, and human persistence.” For a faithful disciple who is intent on fathoming the Teacher’s dispensation, one of two fruits may be expected: either final knowledge here and now or, if there is a trace of clinging left, [the state of a] nonreturner.

Our spiritual mentors’ kindness in teaching us and caring for us is like that of the Buddha toward his disciples. To benefit from our mentors’ guidance, we should abandon all arrogance and competitiveness and be humble and receptive. With sincere aspiration to gain realizations, we should let go of all worldly distractions and focus intently on Dharma study and practice. In that way, we will gain realizations and become bodhisattvas and eventually buddhas.

Behavior toward Spiritual Mentors

Generating faith by reflecting on our teachers’ qualities and generating gratitude and respect by reflecting on their kindness are the method to rely on our teachers mentally. As we become habituated to these attitudes, they will be reflected in our actions. When we admire and trust someone, we automatically want to live in a way that pleases him or her. In the Dharma this means training our mind through the systematic approach of the three higher trainings, the six perfections, and tantra.

Some sādhanas — meditation or ritual texts — especially those of guru yoga, say, “May I do only what pleases you [the spiritual mentor].” This phrase improperly understood can generate misconceptions. In some cultures, pleasing someone may be a way to curry a powerful person’s favor or to avoid their punishment. A student with such a preconception may seek to please his teacher by offering goods or service with the wish to create merit, but also with the hope to receive recognition or appreciation. If the teacher doesn’t reciprocate with sufficient appreciation, the disciple feels offended. It is important that we understand that pleasing our guru means to transform our mind into the path.

Some people appear to be devoted, humble disciples in their teachers’ presence, but in other situations are obnoxious and rude. Others seek to please the teacher because he is holy, but are inconsiderate to other disciples and sentient beings in general. These behaviors are inappropriate. Assisting sentient beings and treating them well is one aspect of pleasing our guru because it fulfills his or her purpose of benefiting others.

We should avoid being possessive of our teachers or jealously competing with other disciples for their attention. Nor should we use them to increase our sense of self-importance. Geshe Potowa reflected (LC 1:87):

We present-day followers do not value the teachings at all, but only value the guru’s assigning status to us as demonstrated by each cup of tea that the guru gives us. This is a sign of our deep corruption.

Following our teachers’ instructions is a skill we must develop. Sometimes we are resistant to advice that does not please our self-centered thought. Other times we take the advice out of context, thinking that an instruction to an individual student should be generalized to everyone. It is important to differentiate general advice that is applicable to everyone and advice meant for a specific individual. If someone walking on a narrow path between two precipices is too close to the left side, we call out, “Go right!” But if the person is too near the right side, we shout, “Go left!” Taken out of context these instructions seem contradictory, although they are not. To avoid confusion, we should inquire about the context in which an instruction was given and to whom it was given.

It is important to respect and to follow the advice of the resident teacher in the place where we live, even though that teacher may not be our principal mentor. The resident teacher heads the community, and for the sake of community harmony as well as for our own spiritual benefit, we should follow her guidance.

When we begin to give Dharma talks, we must avoid competing with our teachers, thinking, “More students come to my Dharma talks” or “I’m a more eloquent speaker than my teacher.” Also to be avoided is trying to prove to our spiritual mentors how learned and articulate we are. In all ways, we should be genuinely humble and fully aware that any Dharma we know is due to their kindness and fortitude in teaching unruly disciples like us. Sometimes we may become frustrated or angry and blame our spiritual mentor for our unhappiness. At these times it is especially important to remember that our unhappiness is due to our previous destructive behavior that left karmic latencies on our consciousness, and our anger is due to the seed of anger within ourselves. We are responsible for our emotions, so rather than blame our mentor, it is wise to look inside ourselves and apply Dharma antidotes to our afflictions.

Usually after we calm down, we will feel regret for any harsh words we spoke to our mentors or misleading statements we may have made to cover up our faults. It is wise to go to our teacher and apologize so we can start afresh.

If we have difficulties in our relationships with our spiritual mentors, it could be due to relating to them in an improper way in previous lives. Engaging in purification practices with a strong determination to restrain from such actions in the future will help us clear these obstacles.

REFLECTION

1.How would you benefit from having an open and honest relationship with your spiritual mentor?

2.Contemplate and make examples of specific ways to make offerings to your spiritual mentors of material goods, service, and your practice.

3.What are appropriate ways to behave with your mentors?

4.What are inappropriate ways? How can you protect against engaging in them?

We may encounter situations in which we hold different opinions from our teachers. We may be a vegetarian, but our teacher is not; we may think one political policy would be effective, while our teacher favors another. These are issues of personal preference. Respecting our mentor does not mean we have to agree on every issue. We must remember that we came to our spiritual mentor to learn the path to awakening, not to learn cosmology or debate human rights.

Even the Buddha’s disciples didn’t always agree with him. For example, one day the Buddha said to his close disciple, “Kassapa, you are getting old now. You’ve been wearing coarse and uncomfortable robes made of rags. Wear nicer robes offered by lay followers. Instead of eating food gathered only on alms rounds (piṇḍapāta), accept lay followers’ invitations to eat at their homes. Also, dwell in a simple residence, not in the forest.” Kassapa replied that he wished to continue these ascetic practices not only because they were conducive for his own practice but also because future generations would follow his example and derive benefit from them. The Buddha affirmed that this was Kassapa’s way of caring for the welfare and happiness of others, his way of demonstrating compassion for the world (SN 16.5). Kassapa respectfully explained to his spiritual master, the Buddha, the reasons for not following his instructions. Seeing the virtue in Kassapa’s explanation, the Buddha approved of his actions. There was no contention or resentment, only love between them.

Even advanced disciples may have differing views from their teachers on important issues, such as the correct view of emptiness. Atiśa’s respect for his spiritual mentor Serlingpa was incomparable, but he did not follow him in every respect. Serlingpa espoused Cittamātrin tenets, while Atiśa held the Madhyamaka view. This difference did not impinge on the closeness of their mentor-disciple relationship.

Mipham Rinpoche composed a Dharma text and one of his disciples from Amdo wrote a critique of it. Someone questioned the disciple, “How can you critique your guru’s work?” to which the disciple responded, “If something unacceptable is said, someone has to counter it.” Similarly, even though the Sūtra Unraveling the Thought is the Buddha’s teaching, Nāgārjuna and other sages critiqued it, saying its meaning is interpretable, not definitive.

In my own case, I had a difference of opinion with my junior tutor, Trijang Rinpoche, concerning the practice of Shugden. I explained to him my reasons for not doing this practice and for discouraging others from doing it. Trijang Rinpoche understood, and there was no damage in our relationship. I still hold him in the highest regard, and my faith in him has not decreased at all.

Preventing Difficulties

All Buddhist traditions have faced difficulties with teachers who do not behave properly or abuse their status to gain offerings, respect, or sex. This is totally against the Dharma and harms not only the other person(s) involved but also the teacher and the existence of the Dharma. Some unfortunate situations have occurred in the West and Taiwan regarding a few teachers in the Tibetan tradition. This has caused great confusion and feelings of hurt and betrayal in students’ minds.

Many of these problems have arisen because the transmission of Tibetan Buddhism abroad is in its early stages. There is no central organization that affirms people’s suitability to teach, so it is possible for unqualified people to go abroad and set up a Dharma center. Some people who would never be in a position to give teachings or initiations in the Tibetan community suddenly become “great lamas” in other countries. This is admirable if it is someone who remained humble and did not have the opportunity to show their great qualities in the Tibetan community. But if someone is merely taking advantage of being in another place to promote themselves, it is sad.

Once in another country, these people are separated from the support — and watchful eyes — of their peers and teachers. Isolated and perhaps lonely, they are flattered by the attention and offerings showered on them by devotees. This is no excuse for their poor behavior; everyone is responsible for their own actions. However, having two or three Tibetans of the same sex — or Westerners in the case of Western teachers — living at a Dharma center could help prevent temptation.

Because Buddhism is new in the West, students do not know how to evaluate a teacher’s qualities and may rush into a guru-disciple relationship without adequate knowledge. Some students see Tibetans as exotic and mysterious — akin to the Western fascination with Shangri-La. Such an attitude is akin to blind faith and is not conducive for establishing a healthy mentor-disciple relationship. Monastics studying at the monastic universities in India have a much more realistic attitude about their teachers.

Because students are new to Buddhism, they may have blind devotion and obedience to spiritual mentors. Hearing about the great merit gained from making offerings to spiritual mentors, they may give them many donations and gifts — things that someone living in India would not have. The teacher becomes spoiled by the gifts and esteem of the students, and if he is not careful, this could lead to his taking advantage of well-meaning students.

I have received many letters from people in other countries asking me to do something about this, but it is not in my control. Tibetan Buddhism is not organized like the Catholic Church with a pope and Vatican administration. I cannot make someone return to India or force him to stop wearing robes. When I teach, I give clear instructions about suitable behavior for teachers, both monastic and lay. If people do not listen to me then, it is doubtful that they will heed instructions from my office or the Department of Religious and Cultural Affairs.

As Buddhism becomes rooted in other cultures and people understand it better, they will know the criteria for qualified teachers and will examine potential teachers with care; they will enter into guru-disciple relationships with greater understanding and clarity. In addition, more teachers will live and travel abroad, and people will be able to choose among them.

When looking at damaging situations that have arisen in previous years, I believe both sides have responsibility to prevent such happenings in the future. A spiritual mentor is responsible for his or her behavior. A student is responsible for not going along with any improper behavior on the teacher’s part. So education is needed on both sides. Until now, no special training is given to people who become spiritual mentors; their spiritual training is seen as sufficient. Compassion and altruism are the very nature of Buddhist practice. If teachers have cultivated these, they will not abuse their influence on others. I hope Tibetan monasteries will speak more directly to their members about the challenges of living in the West and in Taiwan. Lay Tibetan teachers should seek out ways to prepare themselves to teach in different cultures.

Unusual Behavior

Some past Buddhist siddhas behaved in unconventional ways — they drank alcohol and had consorts. These siddhas were fully realized lay practitioners who could discern what was of long-term benefit to self and others, and their actions were in accord with training on the completion stage of highest yoga tantra. They could demonstrate miraculous abilities, which allayed the public’s concerns about their level of realization. For example, they could cause an apple to fall from a tree a distance away and then make the apple go up and reattach to the tree, and Bhikṣuṇī Lakṣmī is said to have cut off her head and then reattached it.

Nowadays there are very few people who are qualified to practice in this way, and because of the difference in society, such conduct is harmful to the Dharma. Nevertheless, some people act in an unconventional manner and proclaim realizations, but do not have any demonstrable exceptional qualities to display in order to confirm their spiritual attainments. Even if they did, I wonder if it would be wise in today’s society to show them. The siddhas of old generally displayed their miraculous powers to small, select groups of people who had the karma to benefit from seeing them. Today such an event would be flashed around the world by modern telecommunications. Reporters would want to interview the siddhas and companies would ask them to promote their products. I doubt such attention would be beneficial to either the Buddhadharma, the siddha, or society. Even if our realizations are equal to those of divine beings, our behavior should conform to convention.

Padmasambhava said that as we perfect our realization of emptiness, our respect for karma and its effects and for ethical conduct correspondingly increases. Gaining the correct view is not easy; many misunderstandings about emptiness exist. A prominent one is to claim that since everything is empty, there is no good or bad, and that someone who realizes emptiness is beyond ethical precepts. Some people state this on the basis of faulty reasoning; others because they have had some sort of experience in meditation that is a “wrong realization.” They then use this as a rationalization to take advantage of others or to justify enjoying sense pleasures.

Although conventional phenomena do not appear to someone who is in nondual meditative equipoise on emptiness, that does not mean they are nonexistent. Conventionalities exist and the law of cause and effect functions, no matter what our level of realization. If the people who say there is no good and no bad really believe that in their hearts, why do they gravitate toward sense pleasures and self-indulgent behavior? They would not discriminate between attractive and unattractive things at all. If they had genuinely realized nonduality, they would eat poor-quality food, live in the streets and help the poor, do relief work in war zones, and serve others who are suffering. All these situations would be the same to them.

The Buddha was always humble, and he is our Teacher. He worked hard on the path — he lived simply, mixed with everyone, and practiced continuously. Many people nowadays think they are more privileged than the Buddha and do not need to live and practice as he did. In fact no one is above the Buddha; we should follow his example.

Everyone is accountable for his or her behavior, and the practice of tantra is never an excuse for unethical behavior. The Six-Session Guru Yoga says, “I shall abandon the four roots, liquor, and unsuitable activities.” The Kālacakra Tantra states that the ideal lay tantric practitioner should follow the monastic discipline, except for wearing robes and participating in monastic ceremonies. That means that an ideal lay tantric practitioner would be celibate and abstain from intoxicants.

Although a small amount of alcohol is placed on the altar during some tantric rituals, only a few drops should be consumed after doing the meditation dissolving it into emptiness and transforming it into pure nectar. Recreational drinking by teachers or students at Dharma centers is inappropriate and should be abandoned.

In our present situation of cyclic existence, we are constantly deceived by the false appearances of objects that seem to exist inherently. Our afflictions arise on the basis of these false appearances. Dharma practice is designed to stop false appearances and the grasping at them. What, then, is the purpose of deliberately cultivating more false appearances through taking intoxicants?

Although some highly realized yogis and yoginīs in the past drank and sometimes took on the appearance of being drunk, they were exceptional practitioners with direct nonconceptual realization of emptiness. For them, ingesting feces, urine, and alcohol were all the same. However, I do not think most practitioners nowadays would drink urine or eat feces with the same enthusiasm they have when drinking alcohol!

On a very advanced level of highest yoga tantra, the joining of the male and female organs is a technique for making the subtlest mind manifest and using it to realize emptiness. Here the physical body is used as a mechanical device for furthering insight. Ordinary lust and uncontrolled emission or orgasm are absent. This union is a method for overcoming ordinary desire. It is not free license to indulge in sexual intercourse with everyone. In the past, in Tibet a practitioner had to demonstrate supernatural powers, such as flying through the sky, to qualify to train in such practice. If the person was a monastic, he or she would disrobe first and then do this practice in a circumspect manner.

Tantric precepts govern this practice and practitioners must adhere to them. Tantra is a higher practice, which implies that a person who takes tantric ethical restraints has sufficient control over his or her body, speech, and mind to keep the Vinaya and bodhisattva ethical restraints, which are comparatively easier to keep. People who find it difficult to observe the five lay precepts are not suitable vessels for tantric practice because they lack the restraint needed to fulfill the tantric precepts and pledges.

It may happen that an unmarried teacher meets an unmarried student. If the relationship develops in a normal way, with mutual agreement and respect, and they decide to marry, it is fine. These two people treat each other equally, so there is no difference in power or status when deciding to have sexual relations. The teacher is not on a throne then! However, if the teacher is with one student one month and another the next, that is not right. Coercing or forcing sexual contact is wrong. Teachers should not manipulate a student into having a sexual relationship by saying she has the signs of being a ḍākinī or has great Dharma potential, or that having sex with him is a special blessing. Some people who have been sexually abused by Buddhist teachers give up their faith and respect for the Buddha. This makes me very sad.

Some texts make statements such as, “See all actions of your spiritual mentor as perfect” and “Follow your mentors’ instructions exactly with complete devotion.” These statements are made in the context of highest yoga tantra and apply to exceptional cases in which both the spiritual master and the disciple are highly qualified — for example, Tilopa and his disciple Nāropa, and Marpa and his disciple Milarepa. If we are not the caliber of Nāropa and our mentor does not have the qualities of Tilopa, these statements can be greatly misleading. Hearing stories of Tilopa’s seemingly abusive treatment of Nāropa — instructing him to jump off a cliff and so forth — and Marpa instructing Milarepa to build stone buildings and then tear them down, some people think that following their teachers’ instructions includes allowing themselves to be abused. This is not the case at all! Marpa told Milarepa, “Do not treat your students like I treated you or the way the great Nāropa treated me. Such practice should not be continued in the future.” This is because it is very rare to find both a teacher and a disciple who have realizations comparable to those great masters.

I have had many teachers whom I value greatly, but I cannot accept seeing all their actions as perfect. When I was in my teens, my two regents fought with each other in a power struggle that involved the Tibetan army. When I sat on my meditation seat, I felt both teachers were extremely kind and had profound respect for them; their disagreements did not matter. But when I had to deal with the difficulties caused by their dissension, I said to them, “What you are doing is wrong!” I did not speak out of hatred or disrespect, but because I love the Buddhadharma, and their actions went against it. I felt no conflict in loyalty by acting in this way. In our practice we may view the guru’s behavior as that of a mahāsiddha, but in the conventional world we follow the general Buddhist approach, and if a certain behavior is harmful, we should say so.

The advice to see all the guru’s actions as perfect is not meant for general practitioners. Because it is open to misunderstanding, it can easily become poison for both mentors and students. Students naively whitewashing a teacher’s bad behavior by thinking anything the guru does must be good gives some teachers a free hand to misbehave. On the teacher’s part, poor behavior is tantamount to drinking the hot molten iron of the hellish states, and it contributes to the degeneration of the Dharma in the world. Only in particular situations and to particular practitioners should it be taught that all the guru’s actions are perfect. Buddhism is based on reasoning and wisdom and must remain so.

Because I frequently give Dharma teachings, many people place great faith in me. But for many years I was also their secular leader. If they saw every action I did as perfect, it would adversely affect the administration. It was important for them to share information and ideas with me and not simply acquiesce to everything I said out of respect.

If you have taken someone as your spiritual mentor and discover he is engaged in some questionable behavior, you may stop attending his teachings. Avoid disrespect or antipathy; anger will only make you miserable. The Kālacakra Tantra advises maintaining a neutral attitude and not pursuing the relationship any further. Keep your distance and cultivate relationships with other teachers, but do not angrily denounce this person. He benefited you in the past, and it is appropriate to acknowledge and appreciate that even though you do not follow him now.

Resolving Problems

Just as there are these three types of spiritual mentors and three ways of relating to them, there are three ways of responding if our mentor asks us to do something outside the general framework of the Buddhadharma — any action that contradicts the Dharma or reasoning. According to Vinaya, we should not follow that advice and should express our reason to our teacher. According to general Mahāyāna, if an instruction conforms to the Buddhist path, follow it; otherwise, do not. According to Vajrayāna, if your guru gives an instruction that does not accord with the Dharma, that is illogical, or that you are incapable of doing, do not follow it. Explain your reasons and discuss the situation with your teacher. This advice comes directly from the Buddha and is found in the scriptures. Tsongkhapa explains (LC 1:86):

Question: We must practice in accordance with the gurus’ words. Then what if we rely on the gurus and they lead us to an incorrect path or employ us in activities that are contrary to the three ethical restraints? Should we do what they say?
Reply: In this regard, Guṇaprabha’s Vinayasūtra states, “If the abbot instructs you to do what is not in accord with the teachings, refuse.” Also the Cloud of Jewels Sūtra (Ratnamegha Sūtra) says, “With respect to virtue, act in accord with the gurus’ words, but do not act in accord with the gurus’ words with respect to nonvirtue.” Therefore you must not listen to nonvirtuous instructions.

Nevertheless it is improper to take a guru’s wrong actions as a reason to misbehave yourself, such as disrespecting or despising your guru. Rather, excuse yourself politely and do not engage in what you were instructed to do. The Fifty Verses of Relying on a Spiritual Master says:

If you cannot reasonably do as the guru has instructed,

excuse yourself with soothing words.

A story in the Jātaka Tales tells of Śākyamuni Buddha’s previous life as a bodhisattva-disciple of a teacher who told his students that stealing was virtuous. While the other students nodded in agreement and prepared to fulfill their teacher’s instruction to rob others, the bodhisattva sat quietly. Asked to explain his silence and lack of enthusiasm, he said that stealing was unethical and contradicted the general conduct explained in the teachings. The teacher, who had been testing the students, then praised him.

If you think the advice of your teacher is unskillful or unwise even though it may be ethical, explain your way of thinking and discuss the issue with the teacher. It is appropriate to ask questions in order to clear your doubts. This leads to better communication, fewer misunderstandings, and may increase your respect for your teachers.

In 1993 at a conference with Western Buddhist teachers in Dharamsala, Western teachers told me of a few Buddhist spiritual mentors whose behavior regarding finances, sexual relationships, and so on deeply disturbed people and gave the wrong impression of Buddhism. I told them that these “teachers” do not follow the Buddha’s teachings. I encouraged them to speak frankly with these teachers, and if they do not listen, then they should make their behavior public. Although these teachers do not care about the Buddha’s teaching, perhaps they will care about their reputation and change their ways. Some people ask me to speak to these teachers, but that has little effect. If they do not listen when I give teachings and if they do not respect the Buddha’s teachings, they will not listen if I give them personal advice.

You may wonder what to do if a friend is a student of a teacher whose ethical conduct is questionable. Tantric teachings speak of the destructive karma created by separating a mentor and student, yet you want to prevent your friend from harm. If you see that your friend’s relationship with a teacher is definitely harmful, it is suitable to warn him or her, simply stating facts in a nonjudgmental manner. But if that relationship is not harmful, it is best to leave things alone. The key to whether you create the negative karma of separating a disciple and teacher lies in the motivation. Actions motivated by an angry, judgmental attitude are to be avoided, whereas those based on compassion and tolerance are encouraged.

When Tibetan teachers ask you to raise money or give donations to their monasteries, use your discriminating wisdom. In some cases a legitimate need exists and the funds will benefit people. In that case, it is good to help support worthwhile projects if you can. But when such funds will be used for other purposes, such as buying unnecessary consumer goods for the teacher’s family or sending them on a holiday, there is no need for you to give.

As with most problems, the best approach is to take steps to prevent them. I recommend preparing Tibetan teachers to teach in other countries, establishing support systems so that they are not cut off from their peers while teaching abroad, and ensuring that they have enough time for their own Dharma practice.

Also, I suggest educating Westerners on the qualities of good spiritual mentors, the meaning and purpose of the mentor-disciple relationship, and constructive modes of dealing with uncomfortable requests. Of course, both parties need to learn, reflect, and meditate on the Buddhadharma and to adhere to the basic Buddhist tenets and guidelines for ethical behavior. When they do, spiritual mentors and disciples alike benefit, as will many other living beings.

When Our Spiritual Mentors Pass Away

Because our spiritual mentors are valuable in our lives and dear to us, when a spiritual mentor passes away we will probably feel a great loss. When Dromtonpa was dying, he lay his head in the lap of one of his close disciples, the great scholar Potowa. Saddened by the fact that his teacher was leaving, Potowa was crying, and a tear fell on Dromtonpa. Drom looked up and asked, “Why are you crying?” Potowa responded, “Up to now, I’ve had you as my guru, so there was always someone I could ask questions and seek counsel and guidance from. But now you are leaving, and I will have no one to clarify points of doubt and guide me on how to practice.”

Dromtonpa counseled Potowa, “You do not need many gurus. From now on, seek your guru in the Tripiṭaka, the three baskets of scriptures. The sūtras, tantras, treatises, and commentaries by the great sages will be your teacher and spiritual guide. Rely on them, because I would give you no advice different from that of the Buddha and the great masters.” This advice is important for us to bear in mind.

It is beneficial to repeatedly make aspirational prayers to meet qualified Mahāyāna spiritual mentors in the future and to accumulate merit and wisdom, which are the causes to be cared for by such mentors, until we reach full awakening.

Advice to Spiritual Mentors and Disciples

Years ago I heard about an abbot in Kham, Tibet. Some visitors came to see him. He was not there and his attendant told the visitors, “He has gone to scare the people in the nearby town.” It seems that this lama told people they would go to hell if they didn’t heed his instructions. This is not the Buddhist way.

I would like to speak frankly to both spiritual mentors and Dharma students. From 2012 to 2015 I taught the eighteen lamrim texts. Some of these texts emphasize that the guru is Vajradhara, and if you don’t listen to your guru’s instructions, you will be born as a hell being. What is all this about? The Buddha never said if you don’t listen to his teachings and don’t do as he says you will be reborn in hell! The Buddha said we should not accept teachings with blind faith but through having investigated and analyzed them. This is the true way to follow the Buddha’s teachings.

If something doesn’t hold up to reasoning, we should not accept it unless it can legitimately be interpreted to mean otherwise. For this reason even some Nālandā masters rejected statements in the sūtras. After examination I eschewed the traditional cosmology with Mount Meru at the center. When I said this during teachings in South India, some monks were initially uncomfortable. How can the Dalai Lama reject Mount Meru? But no one could say I was no longer a good Buddhist because I disagreed with Vasubandhu on that topic. Our having freedom to examine the teachings is wonderful; this is a special quality of Buddhism that the Buddha himself encouraged.

Nowadays we need to introduce people to the Dharma by teaching the two truths and the four truths of āryas so that people will understand the real teachings of the Buddha. Contemplating those topics gives people confidence; they will understand the Dharma and appreciate their precious human lives. With faith based on reasoning and understanding, they can later learn the ten powers of a buddha based on understanding the tathāgatagarbha, the potential to become a buddha. Otherwise it seems that the teacher is imposing beliefs on disciples and threatening them with a hellish rebirth should they have doubts. It also appears that some teachers impose the notion that the guru is the Buddha on disciples who do not understand the true Dharma, and in this way manipulate disciples.

If you study well, you will gain confidence in the Dharma based on understanding. A teacher who encourages you to think about the teachings is a good teacher. People who want to teach the Dharma must have knowledge and experience and act with integrity. The more respect a spiritual mentor receives, the humbler he or she should become. Mentors must discipline their body, speech, and mind by practicing the three higher trainings and should not be content with a partial understanding of the Dharma. Since there are false gurus, students must check carefully.

In short, we need to be twenty-first century Buddhists. Following tradition and believing with blind faith is the old way. To be Buddhists now, we must have a fuller knowledge of Buddhism, especially the Nālandā tradition, which presents the Dharma in a systematic fashion. Nālandā masters refute wrong views, establish their own views, and then clarify any remaining questions. We must read, study, and hear teachings on the texts by these great Indian masters and then use our human intelligence to the maximum to investigate their meanings.

For forty years now, I have urged monasteries that principally perform rituals to do more study. I’ve made sure that the nuns have access to higher studies and have encouraged lay Buddhists to study as well. When you learn the Dharma, don’t limit yourself to what is said in the textbooks of your own monastery. Study broadly.