We drove out of Tow and into the dark. Behind us, the city was alight; we felt the heat of it even after we’d crossed the boundary line. Dad took us past the lake, to the cabin deep in the woods they’d bought on a whim during their honeymoon. We’d been to it only a month ago, the week after I got out of school, and since Mom had over-shopped as she always did, we could lock ourselves inside and pretend the world wasn’t falling apart.

—Love, Grace

Cindra saved me from responding by dropping gracelessly to her knees in a near-faint. As Lexa and Lily bent over her, Oliver rushed to her side. She pushed him away and reached out for me; he stepped back, his expression pained.

My father is alive.

“Cindra!” Lily pressed the back of her hand to Cindra’s forehead as I knelt next to her and grabbed her hand.

“Asche,” she hissed at me under her breath.

“What? Where?” He’s alive?

She shook her head mutely and flicked her gaze toward the pair hovering over her.

“She’s okay,” I said, “don’t worry. She didn’t eat much this morning, and it was a long walk. Here, come sit with me. I’ve got some protein bars in my bag.” I threw her arm over my shoulder and stood, dragging her with me.

Lily hovered her hand uncertainly over Cindra’s shoulder. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Just give us ten minutes, and she’ll be fine. Tell us where you’re going, and she’ll meet you there.”

“Okay,” Lily said, still unsure. “I’m going to the infirmary. I can give her an examination when she gets there.”

Cindra glanced at Lexa, panic widening her eyes.

He’s alive, and he’s here.

Tor spotted the tremble in my hands. I gripped Cindra more tightly.

“I’m sure she’ll be just fine,” Lexa replied. “Come and see us when you’re ready, Cindra. Just follow Main Street here to the end. There’s a large building that used to be a casino. You’ll find us on the right side of the bottom floor.”

Cindra nodded then sat down with her head between her knees.

Lexa grabbed Lily’s arm firmly and steered her toward the road. “So, you were saying you found a new plant? Have you been able to identify it yet?” Their voices faded as they wove down the street, Lily glancing back over her shoulder just before they disappeared.

“Well, if I’m not needed, I’m off,” Oliver said. The cheerfulness in his voice was strained, and he avoided looking at either of us.

“Just where are you going?” Tor asked. “Don’t cause any shit, Oliver, not on our first day here.”

“Me?” Oliver asked innocently. “I have no idea what you mean, Goliath. We’re here in what passes for civilization these days, and I plan to take advantage of it. I wonder if there’s a brothel?” He sauntered away. “Sure you don’t want to join me?” he called to Tor over his shoulder. “It’s not like your current relationship is working out that well. For you, anyway.”

The muscles in Tor’s jaw leaped once then stilled. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “God, what an asshole. Why is it men like him always survive? Like a goddamn cockroach.” He knelt beside Cindra and me, dipping his head to look her in the eyes. “You okay?”

The gentleness of his voice hurt my heart.

“Yes, I’m fine. I just…I’d like to speak with Ailith for a few minutes. Privately,” she added, glancing at Kalbir.

A faint blush colored Kalbir’s cheeks. “Fine,” she said. “C’mon, Big Man, Callum, let’s go find some fun.”

Callum’s head tilted strangely to the side. “I’d like to eat things and touch things.”

“Uh, okay. I’m sure we can do that,” Kalbir said. “Tor?”

“Actually,” Tor said, looking at me closely, “I think I’ll go and talk to some of the local hunters. Make myself useful.” He pointed further down the street, where a group of men and women seemed to be haggling over a stack of carcasses.

Kalbir looked from him to me, her smile tight. “Right, well, whatever, suit yourself.” She turned on her heel and left us, her chin up and shoulders stiff.

Tor waited until she’d walked down the next block. “You’re sure you don’t need me?” he asked, reluctant to leave us. “What’s really going on?”

Well, my dad’s alive, and Cindra thinks she just saw her old boyfriend. Other than that, not much.

“Cindra?” I asked. “Do you want Tor and Pax to leave as well?”

“No,” she said. “They can stay. I just…I don’t know them yet.”

“Oh good,” Pax said, relief clear in his voice. “I wasn’t going to leave anyway.”

Cindra smiled up at him and tugged gently on the leg of his pants. “Thanks, Pax.”

I sat on the pavement next to Cindra, the cold concrete biting through the seat of my pants and chilling my skin. “Do you want to go first?” I asked her.

“No,” she said. “I need to be sure. You go.”

“Okay.” I took a deep breath. “My father is still alive. And he’s standing right over there, next to—” It hit me where I’d seen the younger man before.

He gave me the crooked grin that was as familiar to me as my own heart.

“Asche. He cut his hair,” I added lamely.

What were the odds?

Astronomical.

The suspicion slowly poisoning my body over the last few days spread deeper.

No. It’s a coincidence. The odds are slim, but possible.

The odds of any of us surviving had been small, but someone had to. Why not them?

Paranoia is just as dangerous as an actual enemy. Remember that.

“What? You mean to tell me your dad is standing right over there? And who the hell is Asche?” Tor looked as though he’d fallen down the rabbit hole. Well, hare hole, in his case.

Cindra looked up, her eyes rimmed with red. “Asche was my…boyfriend, fiancé…whatever. Or at least, he would’ve been if I hadn’t left him.” She twisted her braid between her fingers. “I only pretended to myself he might be alive. I didn’t actually believe it was possible.”

“Shit. Pax, did you know this was going to happen?” Tor asked.

Pax hooked his thumbs through the empty belt loops on his pants and rocked back on his heels. “Yes. No. I did see them, but I had no idea who they were or what it meant.”

“I asked you before we came if you’d seen anything,” I said, unable to keep the irritation from creeping into my voice. “A little notice would’ve been appreciated.”

Pax smiled benignly, unruffled by my tone. “You weren’t specific. What would your reaction have been if I’d said, ‘I see an older man and a younger man, and they’re talking?’”

Tor cocked his head, amusement quirking the corners of his mouth. “He’s got a point.”

“I know,” I said, rubbing my forehead. “I’m not blaming you Pax, it’s just…”

“What are you going to do?” Tor asked, gazing at the two men. Asche was explaining something to my father, drawing shapes on the palm of his hand with slim fingers. My father nodded and replied then folded the end of his scarf into the breast of his coat and flipped his collar up against the gnawing cold. Putting his hands in his pocket, he began to turn away.

“They’re leaving. Shit. What do we do? We can’t just go sauntering up to them and say, ‘Oh hey, Dad, Asche, how’s it going? Shame about this apocalypse. You’re looking well.’ Can we?” Creeping hysteria had replaced the irritation in my voice.

“If your eyes get any wider, they may burst,” Pax noted helpfully.

Tor tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Hey, it’s okay. Cindra, it’s…” He patted her helplessly on the shoulder as she started to cry.

I can’t imagine how she feels . You expect to lose your parents, but not the love of your life. And here he was, a second chance long-buried and newly arisen.

“Look, you two couldn’t speak to them anyway, even if you wanted to. They both know you became cyborgs, right? So you’d be putting all of us at risk.” He gazed thoughtfully at the two men, and I could almost see his mind at work. “I know they loved you once, but you don’t know how they feel about what you are now.” He came to a decision. “But I’ve got a plan,” he said, straightening. “Come with me, Pax. You were asking me yesterday about the work I used to do? Let’s go do it.”

“You’re going to kill them?” I asked, horrified.

Tor shot me a fierce look. “No. We’re going to do some reconnaissance.”

Pax’s smile shone brighter than Lily’s. He hopped from one foot to the other. “Do we use fake names?”

“No,” said Tor. “The first lesson is to speak the truth as much as you can. We’re here, new to town. Let’s mingle.” He placed his hand between Pax’s shoulder blades and pushed him forward. “You two should stay out of sight.”

Cindra and I scooted around the corner of the block and huddled on the concrete.

“I can’t do this. Sit here and wait. Do you think they’ll come back with them? What should I say? I have to look—” She worried a hangnail with her teeth.

“Cindra, sit still. They’re only doing recon. They’re not going to tell them about us.”

“Fine, distract me.”

“Get your fingers out of your mouth, and I will.”

We talked about our childhoods and teen years, our memories of this town that I’d grown up near and she’d visited many times.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” she said. “We came down to the market nearly every Saturday. I remember your booth…I probably even bought from you, touched your hand.” She patted my fingers. “Who knew we’d end up like this?”

I sighed, inching back so I could lean against the brick wall behind us. “Would you still have done it, if you’d known?”

She slid back next to me, her head pressed against the rough surface as she stared upward. “Yes. This wasn’t our fault. None of it was. Other people would’ve gone through the process, the war still would’ve happened. The only difference is that we might not be alive now. And I want to be alive more than anything else. More than the grief and the loss. Even though the people we know are dead or changed, at least we’re alive to remember them. It’s not as good as actually being with them, but it’s close enough for me.”

“I think I—” Tor and Pax rounded the corner. Tor looked upset; Pax looked…like Pax, calm and serene.

My stomach twisted.

Cindra covered her face with her hands. “I can’t bear it.”

“What happened?” I asked Tor. “Why do you look like that? They’re alive, right? How can that be bad?”

“It’s not,” he replied. “It’s just…I don’t know. I wanted to—”

“He wanted to bring you a gift,” Pax said. “Something for your heart.”

Tor pressed his fingers over his eyes as the tips of his ears turned pink. “Thank you, Pax.”

Pax nodded, satisfied with his part, and sprawled onto the pavement next to Cindra.

“Anyway,” Tor said, his voice weary, “it’s not the news either of you was hoping for.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “It isn’t them?”

“No, it is. But…”

“Just tell me, please,” Cindra whispered. “I can’t wait any longer.”

Tor knelt in front of us, looking first at Cindra then at me. “Cindra, Asche is the leader of your community.”

“She’s dead, then. Grandmother is dead.” She closed her eyes. “But Asche, he’s okay?”

“He is. He’s, uh…married. And he has children.”

Cindra swallowed hard, but her face was impassive. “I’m just so glad he’s alive.” She sagged back against the wall.

“Is my dad, okay? I mean, that’s all I ever wanted. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because,” Tor said, gazing down at his hands, “he denies ever having a daughter. According to him, you never existed.”