“This is seriously the best pizza I’ve ever had,” Serenity says with a moan that makes my dick twitch against my zipper. Damn the woman and her ability to make anything and everything sexy as hell.
“Not bad for a small town, huh?” I ask, reaching for another slice. I adjust the box between us on the tailgate, reassuring it forces a physical distance between us. The decision to bring Serenity to my special spot was automatic. It felt natural. As if this were our thing instead of my own coveted place. It wasn’t until I cut the ignition that I realized what happened.
“This place isn’t all bad,” she admits, flashing me a half-cocked smile that sets my pulse to double-time.
“I found it when I was flying a training mission one day.” I’ve never brought anyone else out here, not even someone from the J-Squad, let alone a woman. This might be one helluva mistake. After she returns to her life in Virginia Beach, it’ll be fucking impossible to imagine my private lookout point without catching a whiff of her sugary sweet perfume on the breeze. I’ll hear her sweet laughter and crave her touch.
“You like being a coast guard pilot?” she asks, licking a dab of sauce from the corner of her lip.
“It’s what I always wanted to be. It’s my calling.”
“I admire that.” Her genuine smile sets my pulse to racing. It was easier to keep my wits about me when we were heckling each other. But this shift unsettles me.
Yeah, I’m in over my fucking head.
I’ve known it all day, which is why I called the lodge. But they’re booked solid for some military deal. Something with higher ups and an important strategic meeting. It’s rare when North Haven sees such a flurry of Coast Guard activity, but I can’t seem to focus on what it could mean. Not with the curvy beauty distracting my every thought.
“You staying here? In North Haven?” Serenity asks, her question small-talk casual. Maybe it’s the pizza or the beer, but for the first time, she finally seems relaxed around me. I hate to admit that I like the way this shift allows me to breathe easier and untense my muscles. “Or will you be stationed somewhere else and move again?”
“I’d like to stay,” I admit, digging a hand into the back of my neck to work out a phantom kink. “But that’s not entirely up to me. All I can do is make the request.”
“You have to be close to retirement age, right?”
My eyebrows drawn in. “You think I’m old?”
Serenity lets out a playful laugh that warms me from the inside out. “You really are the curmudgeon of the group, aren’t you?”
“Fucking Jonas,” I mutter, hating him even more for the nickname he gave me back in boot camp. I’ve never been more annoyed that it stuck all these years later. Until now. I’ll get even with him later for sharing that personal detail with Serenity. “I’m thirty-six,” I say, diverting. “Not old.”
“I didn’t say that was old. I’m thirty-three next month.” Her carefree smile fades, as if the words spoken aloud have a heavier impact than she anticipated. “Thirty-three and what the hell will I have to show for it?” She mutters this next part under her breath, as if she doesn’t intend to share the comment with me.
I reach for the small cooler and pull out two Caribou Creek Ambers. I twist the cap off one and hand it over. Hell, the fact that Serenity seems to enjoy my favorite brew is sexy. Or maybe it’s watching her lips press against the bottle that undoes me. “You have your fancy dream job.”
“Editor in chief,” she says, gazing out at the mountains in the distance. There’s barely enough room to park my truck out here, but the small wedge of land offers one of the most breathtaking views North Haven has to offer.
“Sounds important. You must be proud,” I say, meaning it.
“It’s all I’ve wanted since I started working at that newspaper, you know? I had to work the crap jobs first. The coffee runner, the gopher, the one who chased the most ridiculous stories to fill the empty space in the paper.” She takes another pull from her beer and leans back on the tailgate, clearly having no idea how it makes her magnificent tits pop out. I grip the edge of the tailgate to keep my hands from reaching for them. “Do you know there was a time when my most important task was managing the dry cleaning for the executive staff?”
“It’s not all you thought it’d be?” I guess, sensing the glumness in her tone.
“I’m damn good at my job,” she says, flashing those sinfully tempting emerald eyes my way. “I’ve made waves. Do you know how hard that is in a world that doesn’t trust the media anymore? I don’t let a single story hit the press without verifying its validity. It’s the owner’s vision, but his last editor-in-chief didn’t care as much about that as he did about selling papers. Convinced fear sold papers. I call bullshit. The truth sells papers. Even when the truth sucks.”
“You sound pretty passionate about what you do.”
“I am. I like to do things that make a real, meaningful difference.”
“So, what’s the problem then?”
She lets out a pitiful laugh that grabs my full attention. I search her expression, confused when her green eyes turn shiny with unshed tears. What the fuck? “If you think I’m baring my soul to you, James Devano, you have another thing coming.” Though her eyes twinkle at me, it’s impossible to miss the distress in her tone. “I don’t need your scrutiny, thank you very much.”
“I’m not always an asshole.” Setting my bottle on the tailgate, I hop off. Positioning myself at the front of her knees, I dare to nudge them apart, allowing me to step a little closer. The simple contact sets my entire body on fire. I reach a knuckle to her chin, tilting it up. “What is it, princess?”
Her eyes darken a shade as they drop to my lips. Whatever’s troubling her isn’t a match for the desire that burns between us. It’s fucking terrifying how our close proximity can drown out not only the world around us, but every problem in it. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Whatever it is, whoever it is, you deserve better.” Gently, I comb my fingers up her cheek until I’m holding her face in my palm. She nestles into my touch, her eyes falling close. I should pull back. Step away. Put miles of distance between us until I cool off or she leaves Alaska. But I crave her very presence.
“I wish it were that simple.” Her eyes flutter open, locking with mine.
I lean closer, tilting her chin up to make her lips easier to capture. Our breaths mingle and her lips part in anticipation. The heat that swirls between us is hotter than the Middle Eastern desert in July. She presses her knees into my thighs, as if to trap me.
Kissing her is a terrible idea. Something we can’t go back from. But it’s the only thing I want to do. I cup her cheek, drawing her closer.
A shrill ring pierces the moment, echoing obnoxiously in the secluded pull off. “I didn’t think there was a fucking signal out here,” I mutter, pulling back.
“I didn’t either.”
Another ring.
Serenity looks down at the phone that’s flipped upside down. “It could be Ella.” She turns it over, but it’s not Ella’s name on the screen.
I tense at the words, an irrational pang of jealousy shooting through me like a lightning bolt. I take a firm step back, breaking all physical contact. Not that it does much for the heat cloud between us. Knight in Shining Armor. What the fuck? “That’s work, right?”
“Ugh, I need to change that.” She hits ignore but can’t seem to stop staring at her fucking phone. After several uncomfortable beats of silence, another ping echoes, announcing a new voicemail.
“You going to listen to that?” My words are cold and harsh, just like my heart feels in this moment. I fucking knew better. I knew better than to get too close to the flame, but like a dumbass, I stepped right up to the fire ready to sacrifice all my resolve for one taste of her sweet lips. But I won’t fucking share her with some undeserving asshole back home. I won’t do it.
“Later.”
“Could be important.”
“It’s not.” She unlocks her phone and types something in, probably sending this douchebag a text to apologize for missing his call.
The mere thought causes me to tighten my fists as my sides, and I storm off to the front of the truck. I’m not some controlling monster. Serenity is free to talk to whoever the fuck she wants. But I’m not going to get mixed up in her fucking web. The game is all too familiar. How many times did my parents take turns being the spider to each other?
I’m not going there. Ever.
With a couple deep breaths, I march back to the tailgate to clean up the mess. “Time to go, princess.”
“James—”
“It’s getting late,” I cut her off, effectively rejecting any attempt to talk about what just happened and putting that almost kiss far out of my mind. I don’t fucking care. I don’t want to care. In a few days, Serenity will be on a plane and headed back to her real life. Back to whoever the fuck has such a strong grip on her.
I hate that I’m starting to feel things. I hate, most of all, that I wish it were me that had that a grip on her heart. That I was the one she couldn’t resist about all others.