Etiquette Book

There are times in your life when a mere conversation will not do. Whether you are expressing your deepest gratitude, seeking a new job, recommending someone for a position, or congratulating an acquaintance on a life event, you will need to compose a letter. Unlike the case with informal correspondence, it is expected that great thought and effort will be put into this type of communication. For this reason, many individuals become daunted by the prospect and avoid the form altogether. You will find, however, that with practice and the diligent use of drafts, composing a formal letter need not be a formidable task. The overwhelming benefits of letter writing far outweigh the time and patience necessary to produce a well-written piece of correspondence. Additionally, as with any skill worth mastering, the more often you do it, the better you will become.

It was once assumed that professionals would arrive at a job with a basic understanding of business correspondence. Nowadays, many offices and corporations sponsor workshops to teach employees how to express themselves properly and effectively through writing. Your ability to get your point across clearly and concisely in formal business letters will serve you well throughout your career.

Certain standards apply to all types of business letters. First of all, they should be addressed to an individual. If you are unsure whose name to fill in, you will need to do some research. From conducting a quick web search to putting in a call to the organization’s human resources department, you should be able to ascertain the name of the appropriate contact. When completely stymied, it is best to start at the top—i.e., by addressing your letter to the president, chief operating officer, or managing director—and allowing the letter to find its way down.

When composing a business letter, start off by writing a rough draft in which you attempt to capture all of your thoughts. Then revise, revise, revise. Your letter should be carefully checked for any spelling mistakes, typographical errors, and grammatical missteps. The more important the letter, the more you should consider having someone else proofread it for you. Keep a copy of your letter—either a hard copy or a computer file—for your records (if you are relying on computer files, be sure to back up your computer regularly). Be aware that your letter—in fact, anything that you put in writing—may become part of a permanent record elsewhere. With that in mind, make sure what you say truly and accurately reflects the message you wish to communicate.

While the format, justification, and exact spacing is variable, the mechanics of a well-written business letter remain the same. The return mailing address, which may also include a contact telephone number, e-mail, or website; the date; the name and address of the person the letter is being sent to; a salutation; body of the letter; closing; signature; name and title; addition contact information not provided in the return address above; and enclosure or post script, if necessary.

Jazz City Sites
123 Rue Lane
New Orleans, LA 70112
504-555-1212
SusanP@JazzCitySites.net

November 9, 2012

Mr. Frederick Rubtchinsky
The Grand Hotel
456 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, MA 02116

Dear Mr. Rubtchinsky,

It was a pleasure to meet you at the Hospitality Conference last week, and I so appreciate your taking my call earlier today. As we discussed, I will be visiting Boston in the spring to tour some of your city’s colleges and universities. My long-standing interest in the travel and tourism industry continues to grow, and I would be most appreciative if you would have some time to meet with me, speak about your background, and provide a tour of your beautiful, historic hotel. I will plan my visit based upon your availability during the month of March. I will contact you next week to discuss possible dates.

Sincerely,
Susan Pfeffer
Susan Pfeffer
Tour Operator

Enclosure: Please find a picture of our conference group on the dinner cruise!

Jazz City Sites
123 Rue Lane
New Orleans, LA 70112

November 9, 2012

Mr. Frederick Rubtchinsky
The Grand Hotel
456 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, MA 02116

Dear Mr. Rubtchinsky,

It was a pleasure to meet you at the Hospitality Conference last week, and I so appreciate your taking my call earlier today. As we discussed, I will be visiting Boston in the spring to tour some of your city’s colleges and universities. My long-standing interest in the travel and tourism industry continues to grow and I would be most appreciative if you would have some time to meet with me, speak about your background, and provide a tour of your beautiful, historic hotel. I will plan my visit based upon your availability during the month of March. I will contact you next week to discuss possible dates.

Sincerely,
Susan Pfeffer
Susan Pfeffer
Tour Operator
504-555-1212
SusanP@JazzCitySites.net

Enclosure: Please find a picture of our conference group on the dinner cruise!

Jazz City Sites
123 Rue Lane
New Orleans, LA 70112
504-555-1212
SusanP@JazzCitySites.net

November 9, 2012

Mr. Frederick Rubtchinsky
The Grand Hotel
456 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, MA 02116

Dear Mr. Rubtchinsky,

It was a pleasure to meet you at the Hospitality Conference last week, and I so appreciate your taking my call earlier today. As we discussed, I will be visiting Boston in the spring to tour some of your city’s colleges and universities. My long-standing interest in the travel and tourism industry continues to grow and I would be most appreciative if you would have some time to meet with me, speak about your background, and provide a tour of your beautiful, historic hotel. I will plan my visit based upon your availability during the month of March. I will contact you next week to discuss possible dates.

Sincerely,
Susan Pfeffer
Susan Pfeffer
Tour Operator

(Handwritten)
P.S. Enclosed please find a picture of our
conference group on the dinner cruise!

Job seeking is a mutual selection process. Not every job is right for every individual. You will need to engage in a process of self-discovery in addition to conducting the standard research that comes into play when looking into a position, industry, location, and/or organization. The results of this self-analysis should be reflected in a sharply honed résumé and cover letter geared toward the position for which you are applying. Skilled professionals understand the great advantages to modifying and massaging their cover letter and résumé to best suit the specific job they are trying to obtain.

The purpose of your cover letter is to highlight for the reader how your knowledge, capabilities, and experience correspond with the requirements for the position. The first paragraph of your cover letter should indicate where you learned of the opening and include any appropriate tracking number or identifiers. The second paragraph should outline what assets you will bring to the job. The third paragraph should specify how and when you will be following up with the recruiter.

Your résumé is a snapshot of your experience. Prior employment, schooling, and philanthropic activities should all be documented. Each experience mentioned should feature highlights from that experience that will be beneficial to the position you seek. Note that while you want to promote your successes, you should not include every minor task you ever accomplished. The goal of a well-written résumé is to provide substance while piquing enough curiosity on the employer’s part that you will be called upon for an interview. During the interview you will be able to delve into greater detail.

There are many resources available that can be helpful in composing a successful cover letter and résumé. Colleges and universities, as well as many high schools, offer free career counseling to students and alumni. If you are not able to avail yourself of these types of services, many communities have employment and vocational service workshops. Style guides can be found in the bookstore or library, as well as on the Internet. If you opt to work with an employment agency, you will be assigned a consultant who will give you feedback on the documents you prepare. You also have the option of hiring a private career coach.

How to submit your cover letter and résumé can seem like an ever-moving target. First and foremost, it is important you explicitly follow the submission directions outlined in the job posting. When submitting electronically, it is best to send your information in a read-only or un-editable format. When submitting by e-mail, your cover letter and résumé should be sent as attachments rather than as the body of the e-mail. Due to the different operating systems, it is a recommend that you also send along a hard copy of your résumé. This allows the recipient to see a clean copy as well as serving as a back-up system should your application be delayed in cyberspace. Even when submitting a résumé electronically, applying to a job is a formal process and your first contacts should be respectful. Do address others with formal titles (Mr./Ms.) until they request you do otherwise.

Susan J. Pfeffer
123 Rue Lane
New Orleans, LA 70112
504-555-1212
November 9, 2012

Mr. Frederick Rubtchinsky
The Grand Hotel
456 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, MA 02116

Dear Mr. Rubtchinsky,

Your hotel’s front desk opening listed on Vacancy.com (Hospitality Clerk, job posting number: B-87526) caught my attention.

My associates degree in travel and tourism from New Orleans City College along with the three-year experience as a reservations clerk and then a tour guide for Jazz City Sites have given me the knowledge, skills, and abilities that ideally match the job’s requirements. Additionally, my bubbly personality and problem-solving skills are essential to any position interfacing with the public.

Enclosed is my résumé for your review. I will contact your office next week to follow up and discuss my qualifications.

Respectfully,
Susan Pfeffer
Susan Pfeffer
SP789@email.com

Enclosure

Letters requesting an informational interview, while similar to job-seeking letters, do not completely mirror them. An informational interview letter is an earnest request for a professional’s time and advice. The goal is to make a connection and to learn something. Note that an informational interview is not, and should not turn into, a request for a job. You are contacting this individual because he or she is currently working in the field you hope to join. By requesting an informational interview, you are looking for, as the terminology suggests, information, as well as any behind-the-scenes assistance to help move your career forward.

Remember that it is rather boorish to ask for a job during an informational interview. If the interviewer is fond of you and there is an appropriate opening at the company, he or she will tell you. Otherwise, it is acceptable to ask at the end of your conversation if the interviewer has heard of other organizations that might be in a hiring mode.

When requesting an informational interview, your letter should be as pleasant and polite as possible. Include how you found out about the individual to whom you are writing, a brief introduction of yourself, a brief description of your aspirations, a formal request for an audience, and how you will be contacting the individual to schedule a meeting. You should also include a copy of your résumé for the recipient’s reference.

Before people relied so heavily on the Internet in order to learn more about someone’s past, academic institutions, employers, and potential clients would request letters of recommendation to learn more about individuals. Often these letters would be sent directly from the reference to the requesting body to ensure confidentiality and honesty. Nowadays, even with the plethora of information available, there are occasions when letters of recommendation are part of an application process. While they contribute only to a portion of the decision-making process, these letters should still be given careful consideration.

Susan J. Pfeffer
123 Rue Lane
New Orleans, LA 70112
504-555-1212
November 9, 2012

Mr. Frederick Rubtchinsky
The Grand Hotel
456 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, MA 02116

Dear Mr. Rubtchinsky,

Your presentation at the Hospitality Conference was truly enlightening. Your wise and witty advice will surely aid me in my job search. I am a recent New Orleans City College graduate and am researching opportunities in the Boston area. Your name and contact information was in the conference database. I so much appreciate your willingness to help others and I hope that your schedule will permit you to provide me with some advice. I am particularly interested learning how you began your career. My résumé is enclosed simply to give you some information about my background and project work.

I will call you next week to arrange a time to speak to you by telephone or perhaps visit your office if that would be convenient. I will be in the Boston area this March. I so appreciate your time. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to talking with you.

Respectfully,
Susan Pfeffer
Susan Pfeffer
SP789@email.com

REQUESTING A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION On an occasion when you require a letter, or letters, of recommendation, pause to contemplate what qualities the organization is seeking and who within your experience has seen you demonstrate these qualities. Once you have decided who you would like to approach, you will need to ask these individuals in such a way that gives them the opportunity to decline. You do not want someone who is not thrilled to write on your behalf to be writing on your behalf. Whenever possible, you should ask in-person for a recommendation. This allows you to judge the person’s body language as well as what they say to determine their real response: “Professor, I know how busy you are, but would you have time to write me a recommendations for my first job out of school?”

When you have found people who are able and willing to recommend you, have a conversation with them to share the characteristics you are hoping they will highlight. Be sure to provide them with any necessary forms, links, information, and deadlines, as well. You should also give them an appropriately addressed and stamped envelope. While some recommenders will give you a copy of the recommendation letter, others will not. You will need to wait to see what your recommender prefers. You should not ask for a copy if it is not offered. Occasionally your recommender will supply you with a draft. If he or she has asked for your input, you may offer it. If your input was not solicited, you will need to keep you opinion to yourself.

Of course, once these letters have been sent, you will need to write thank-you notes to all of your references. And later on, take the time to follow up with these kind individuals to let them know whether or not you were accepted into the school, offered the job, or hired by the client.

WRITING A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION When you are asked to write a letter of recommendation, you should feel honored. That an individual thinks so highly of you that he or she believes a letter from you would put him or her in a favorable light is a compliment indeed. Your words have the potential to greatly affect this person’s future. Once you have been asked, do get back to the individual as quickly as possible. Should you decide to fulfill the request, you will need to be able to devote the appropriate amount of time and thought to this responsibility. Make sure to ask about any and all specifics involved; you should know how the recommendation will be used, what the person is applying for, how long the letter should be, what the person hopes you will include, and the deadline for submission. Note that this type of letter should be typed, printed, and mailed. Recommendation letters may be e-mailed if specifically requested. When this is the case, the recommendation letter should be sent in a noneditable format. As the recommender, if you feel comfortable doing so, you may send a copy of your recommendation to the individual you have written about.

Jazz City Sites
123 Rue Lane
New Orleans, LA 70112
www.JazzCitySites.net

November 9, 2012

Mr. Frederick Rubtchinsky
The Grand Hotel
456 Commonwealth Avenue
Boston, MA 02116

Dear Mr. Rubtchinsky,

My employee, Susan Pfeffer, has asked me to write to you on her behalf. She has been working for Jazz City Sites for 4 years now. She started as an intern at our reservation desk during her second year at New Orleans City College.

Her vivacious personality, attention to detail, and enthusiasm made her our star employee. She then began training to be a tour guide. Susan attacked the training materials and finished all of the required tests in half the time it usually takes to train a guide. Her customers float in from their tours and sing her praises. While I will be sad to lose Susan to Boston, I am pleased to recommend her without hesitation for the position as a front desk clerk at your hotel. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

Saul Swanson

Saul Swanson
President & Founder
504-555-1212
SaulS@JazzCitySites.net

DECLINING A REQUEST If you feel the need to decline a request to write a letter of recommendation, do not put this response off. Inform the individual as soon as possible, so that he or she can find someone else to take on the task. There are a variety of reasons you may not want to write such a letter. You may not care for this person. You may think he or she is ill-suited for the desired role. You may simply not have time to devote to such a letter. When you decline, know that you do not need to share your reason for doing so. Simply tell the person that you are sorry you are not able to help at this time and you are honored to have been asked. Then wish him or her success with the endeavor. You may decline by telephone or e-mail.

In the business world, just as for weddings and births, there are times when announcements are in order. These occasions include the change of a company’s name, a new address, the hiring of a new employee, a corporate merger, a promotion to partner, or the formation of a new company. At these times, a carefully worded announcement is sent to clients, potential clients, and contacts. A copy of the announcement may also run in the newspaper or in trade publications. Some examples of business announcements follow.

ACME Corporation
is pleased to announce that

SAMUEL W. MAXWELL

HAS BEEN NAMED MANAGING DIRECTOR

January 1
123 Washington Street

Austin, Texas 73301
800-555-4321

www.website.com

SOPHIA R. DANIELS
DAVID M. GRACEY

announce the establishment of

SHADOW SUPPORT SERVICES, INC.

7 Harding Street
Buffalo, New York 14221
800-555-9876

www.website.com

For conservative firms or businesses, these announcements would be printed on white or ecru card stock. The company logo would also be included. For more casual firms or businesses, announcements may be given a more artistic flair. Handwritten notes may be included on the side of the announcement to personalize the mailing. Announcements may concurrently be sent by e-mail to ease the updating contact databases.

Good news should be acknowledged. When you hear of something worthy of congratulations—whether from the individual directly, from others, or from a news source—do take the time to share your good wishes.

Clearly the word “congratulations” should be included in the first line or two of your letter. Additionally, you may comment on what brought the person to this occasion and/or extend positive wishes for going forward. Shorter notes should be handwritten. Longer letters may be handwritten or typed. As with thank-you notes, to send a congratulatory note by e-mail sends a clear message that you cared enough to do the very least. If it is worth writing, it is worth doing it right.

Dear Susan,

I have just heard the good news! Congratulations on your new position at the Grand Hotel in Boston! It has been a pleasure having you here with Jazz City Sites. If you ever decide to come home to New Orleans, our door is always open to you. I wish you all the best as you move up north to pursue your dreams.

Warmly,
Mr. Swanson

Do make sure that your words are sincere and specific to the particular occasion. Often letters such as these are saved and treasured.

As with any happy news, should you be so moved, do express your good wishes in writing. Regardless of whether or not you take part in the wedding celebration, engagements and weddings should be appropriately acknowledged. Positive comments regarding the couple beginning a new chapter of their lives together or the inclusion of your favorite romantic quote will personalize and add meaning to your note.

Dear Liz & Aaron,

Congratulations on your engagement! Your parents were bursting with joy when they shared the story of the proposal during a dinner party last week. For us old folks, it seems like the two of you just started kindergarten. Just like the song, “swiftly flow the years . . .” We wish you both all the best as you create this newest chapter in your lives together.

Much love,
Millie & Danny

No need to stand on ceremony and wait for the official announcement. When you hear someone has given birth to a baby or adopted a child, wish them well in a note or card. Comments, in addition to the basic congratulations, can include admiration of the child’s name, advice for new parents, encouragement/assurances regarding parenting skills, and the hope of meeting the child in the near future.

Dear Paula & Moshe,

Congratulations on the arrival of little Leonard! We were glad to hear everyone is healthy and well. Once you are ready to receive visitors, we would love to stop by to meet him and hug you. You are now officially a family! Wishing you smile-filled days and sleep-filled nights.

Fondly,
Roz & Gary

There are times when your expectations are not met. When a conversation will not do, or has already been unsuccessful in resolving the situation, a letter of complaint is your next option. Whether it is for poor service, an incomplete order, or misleading business tactics, a letter of complaint allows you to outline the issue and recommend a resolution. When you write, address your letter to the most senior official possible. Assume that this individual has no prior information regarding the incident. Describe the issue clearly, include the time line and any notes from previous conversations, and present a reasonable means of resolution as well as a time frame in which you feel it should occur. Include your contact information, and state your belief that the recipient will be willing and able to settle the matter.

With letters of complaint, be brief. Include supporting information as attachments or an addendum when necessary. Be sure to keep copies for your files. If the matter involves a legal issue, consult with an attorney as needed. Nowadays many companies will accept complaints via e-mail. Some are more proficient in resolving issues than others. When submitting issues by e-mail, you will rarely know who sees the message or how seriously it is taken. You certainly may try the e-mail submission first. If that does not resolve the issue, then return to a letter of complaint.

Dear Mr. Jordan,

I am sure you can imagine my surprise when I opened a delivery from your company to find the mirror had been shipped without any packing material. It arrived in shattered mess of shards. When I called your customer service line, I was told there was no way to know if the mirror had broken en route or after delivery. This denial of responsibility is inconsistent with your customer satisfaction promise and unacceptable. I ask that a new mirror be sent immediately to be exchanged for the broken one. I will call your office next week to speak with you and arrange a delivery date.

Sincerely,
Ross Hillson

Finding a thank-you note tucked in with the bills, junk mail, and business correspondence is a true treat. Part of the beauty of thank-you notes is their simplicity. They are low in cost, require minimal effort, and have a high return.

Any instance in which someone has taken the time to shop for (or make) and give you a gift, you should take the time to write the person a note. You should also write a thank-you note when someone makes an extra effort on your behalf. Referring a client, suggesting a marketing strategy, hosting a meal, forwarding information of interest, or even providing constructive criticism are all actions that should be responded to with a note of gratitude. The note should be sent as soon as possible after the courtesy has been extended or the present has been given.

Sincerity is the most important aspect in writing a thank-you note. Let the recipient know why you appreciated what they did. Examples include:

Dear Mr. Rubtchinsky,

Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me on Monday March 17th. It was a pleasure to see you again, learn how you worked your way from busboy to general manager of the Grand Hotel, and hear about the responsibilities of the front desk clerk. I am very excited about the position and believe it is the right next step as I continue to grow in the travel and tourism industry.

Yours truly,
Susan
Susan Pfeffer

Dear Aunt Lila,

Thank you for the new Guide to Getting Around Boston. It is the perfect birthday gift as I prepare to move north. I have already read the first chapter and am using the maps in the back to decide where to begin my apartment hunt. Once I am settled, I do hope that you and Uncle Rusty will be able to come to Boston for a visit. I miss everyone already!

Love,
Susan

When in doubt, you should write a thank-you note by hand. After all, when you receive your mail, what do you open first? Unless your handwriting is horrific, handwritten notes are recommended for both personal and business thank-you notes. There are many advantages to handwritten notes. In addition to being opened first (or occasionally saved for last), they are more likely to reach the addressee (as opposed to being opened and filed by support staff), they appear more personal (as many typed notes look like form letters), and you need only write a few lines for a handwritten thank-you note to look complete. Especially in business situations, including job interviews, handwritten notes are still considered to show that extra level of care and consideration. When selecting which paper to use when writing business thank-you notes, you should look for paper with a high cotton content. It may be a card or folded note. Avoid those with the words “Thank You” printed on the front. Opt instead for thank-you notes that are blank, have your name, your initials, your monogram, a university seal, or a cityscape on them.

Manners Note

Just as the microwave revolutionized cooking, it did not replace the stove. So too with written versus electronic greetings. Social networking sites, electronic greeting cards, and well wishes sent via e-mail are great ways to let someone you would rarely keep in touch with that you were thinking, however briefly, of them. Yet, an electronic birthday or anniversary wish from someone in your close social circle or immediate family member will have an effect exactly opposite the one you had hoped to elicit. Instead of showing the person you cared, it will communicate that you chose to take the path that required the absolute least amount of effort. Electronic greetings are a great way to warm up a relationship that has gone cold but should not be used as a replacement when the relationship is already warm.

In today’s busy, technology-driven world, an honest to goodness letter or card sent from near or far, waiting for you upon your arrival home, is truly one of life’s simple pleasures. It can be read immediately or saved for a quiet moment. No need to plug in or boot up.

Do not underestimate the impact of social correspondence from friends or family. As you prepare to write a letter that is social in nature, focus on the recipient’s reaction as a motivator, especially if letter writing does not come naturally to you.

To children, it seems like an eternity before their next birthday comes around. For adults, however, the years seem to fly. As you begin to compose your message in a birthday card, consider how the recipient feels about this day. Someone with a great sense of humor may enjoy being ribbed about the sands of time. Someone bemoaning the first appearance of a wrinkle, however, may not be ready to laugh. Choose your words to honor and send cheer to the birthday celebrant. Perhaps remind the individual of what there is to look forward to, while wishing them well for the coming year.

Dear Lauren,

Wishing you a wonderful birthday! Seeing the picture of you crossing the triathlon finish line this summer was amazing. No one would believe you are actually 45! Clearly all the exercise is keeping you young. May the year to come bring more spectacular accomplishments. I look forward to seeing you soon.

Love,
Loraine

With divorce rates hovering just under the 50 percent mark, every year a couple remains married is certainly cause for celebration. Your message can include your congratulations, as well as your observations of why their marriage works so well or simply a comment about how much you admire their relationship.

Dear Tracey & Doug,

Fifteen years! Happy anniversary! It is amazing to me that fifteen years have passed since we danced at your elegant wedding. We are still talking about your cake, with the whole blueberries in the filling. It has been a joy to watch the two of you grow together while your family has grown. You are truly blessed with health and happiness. We look forward to dancing at your 50th anniversary 35 years from now!

Warmly,
Aunt Debbie & Uncle Dale

Even the most techno-forward individuals will tip their hat to the warm and fuzzy feeling of writing—and receiving—cards and letters during the holidays. There really is nothing like a well-written holiday letter. As you sit down to reflect over the past year and compose your own, avoid bragging, going into excruciating detail, including depressing information, airing personal grievances, and using odd writing styles. Instead, when you write, be sure your holiday letter is short and simple, presents an accurate picture of your life, includes a few supporting facts or funny stories, shares family updates, and extends your season’s greetings to others. You might also opt to include a photograph or two.

For the years when writing a holiday letter is just too daunting, you can still connect with friends and family by adding a personalized line or two on the bottom of your holiday cards. Holiday cards sent with just a signature run the risk of being cold instead of cozy.

Dear Amy & Rory,

Wishing you the best this holiday season! We love seeing pictures of your boys online; keep ’em coming! Here our lives revolve around our new puppy. Meghan loves him and bounds downstairs in the morning to cuddle him. Nathan is a bit more hesitant but is hoping to teach him to fetch fly balls. I will call you in the New Year to really catch up.

Sending long-distance hugs,
Kathy & Ryan

When learning of someone’s death, it is your responsibility to contact the family and friends of the deceased to express your condolences. Many people are so uncomfortable with these situations that they avoid them altogether, leaving the mourners even more alone. When sitting down to write a condolence note, it is not uncommon to feel paralyzed with the worry that they do not know the right thing to say. Do not let this stop you. Mourners need to hear that you care. Typical expressions of condolence include “I am so sorry to learn of your loss” and “You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.” Following are a few sample notes.

Dear Grace,

I was so sorry to read of Henry’s death. Our children still call any bird song they cannot identify a “Henry bird.” We often think fondly of all the nature hikes our families took together over the years throughout the countryside. Please know that you and your whole family are in our thoughts and prayers.

With love and sympathy,
Michelle, David and
The whole Bognolo Family

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Simon,

I was shocked to hear of Amiee’s accident. Please accept my deepest condolences during this tragic time. Amiee will forever hold a special place in my heart. She was the first, and for months the only, person to befriend me when I moved to the area in fifth grade. Her ready smile and raucous laugh would instantly lift my spirits. I will never forget the ski trip we took to Vermont. We saw our first R-rated movie together, Blazing Saddles. (Completely tame by today’s standards!) Do you remember the one sleepover where Snowball was trapped in the linen closet and it took us ages to find where she was meowing from? In time, I hope that happy memories like these will help to ease the pain you are feeling now.

Respectfully,
Rachel Ramos

Just as a gourmet meal would not be served on a paper plate, a letter should not be written or typed on scrap paper. Rather, it is important to use stationery appropriate for the occasion. Good paper is described in terms of the cotton fiber count; the higher the percentage the nicer, and more expensive, the paper. When investing in quality stationery, take the time to hold and feel the paper. When possible, try writing on sample sheets so that you are able to feel the difference. Polished individuals will find their stationery wardrobe includes most of the following.

LETTERHEAD: This is the traditional paper used for business correspondence. A sheet is 8½ x 11 inches, with the company name or logo appearing at the top. The company address and contact information may be included at the top of the page, along the left margin, or at the bottom. For ease of reading, the color of the paper tends to be white or ecru. Envelopes match the paper in color and weight, with the return addresses preprinted on the front, upper-left corner.

MONARCH PAPER: This paper, also called executive stationery, is 7 x 10 inches. It is preprinted with the name and address of the sender. This information is traditionally placed at the top of the page, but can be found printed down the side or at the bottom for those who are in creative fields or are more fashion forward. When used for business, it may also include the company name and the individual’s title. The most frequently chosen colors are white, ivory, and ecru. The envelopes are sized to match, with the return address preprinted on the front, upper-left corner.

CORRESPONDENCE CARD: This multipurpose type of stationery is a single piece of card stock, usually 6 x 4¼ inches, bearing the sender’s name, monogram, or initials at the top. Envelopes are sized to match, with the return address preprinted on the front, upper-left corner. These cards may be used as thank-you notes, for casual correspondence, or when replying to invitations.

FOLDING NOTE: This smaller piece of stationery, also referred to as a note card or fold-over, is typically 3½ x 5 inches when folded. These notes may feature a monogram, first name, or full name on the front. When used for professional purposes, the color should tend toward white, ecru, or gray. For social correspondence, the color should reflect the personality of the sender. Again, the envelopes are sized to match. While the inclination may be to include the return address on the back, it is best that it appear in the upper-left corner on the front.

JOTTER: A newer addition to the world of stationery, this card is 3 x 5 inches and vertically oriented. It tends to feature the sender’s name printed at the top, without any contact information. A jotter is used to add a quick personal note that can be attached to a letter or an object. No envelopes are needed.

Today’s technological advantages extend to letters sent through the mail. In addition to being able to choose from a gallery of rainbow-hued stamps available at your local post office, you are able to customize your own stamps online. From pictures of your baby for birth announcements to your own artwork for thank-you notes, there are all sorts of opportunities for you to personalize this highly practical element necessary for sending a letter.

Should you decide to use sealing wax on the back of an envelope, do invest in the higher-quality sticks of wax. (Cheaper wax will tend to include burnt black streaks in your seal.) You should use the adhesive on the envelope to seal it before applying the wax seal. Wait until the wax seal has completely dried and cooled before mailing your letter.

Should you be serving in higher politics or the diplomatic corps, it will be necessary for you to familiarize yourself with the protocol handbooks required by your post. For the general public, here is a sampling of the standard forms of address, as well as appropriate correspondence closings. (For information on addressing the envelopes of invitations, see Addressing the Envelopes.)

If the situation you find yourself in is quite unusual and you are at a loss as to how to address the letter and envelope properly, do take the time to call the individual’s office and inquire. Whoever answers the phone should be able to give you the appropriate direction.