FOR THE MIND
WHAT YOU THINK

With Light silhouetting my shoulders,

I will push into the dark night,

no longer bound by shadows

that trailed so long behind me.

For they do not tell my story.

They do not hold my truth.

They cannot keep me

from the things

I am meant to do.

Even if my eyes are heavy,

I will push forward with audacity,

and I will rise with strength at dawn.

And when I arrive there, I will smile.

And not the kind of smile

made of gritted teeth,

but the kind that is involuntary and free,

knowing I have made it through to liberty.

For I have known darkness,

and I am learning to be less afraid of it.

If you are swimming in a sea

of unanswered questions,

may you find courage to be silent.

And while the waves

fall over one another

in a splash of black and blue,

slowly drowning out your thoughts

leaving you with nothing else to do

but fall helplessly

under the body

of rolling water,

do not think you must rush on.

It is okay to spend some time here.

It is okay to be the only one here.

The shore is calling, but today, you’re in this water.

Find its purpose,

its substance.

Wait in silence.

Fall into a place of listening

and surrender,

and trust that even here,

these whirling waters

will not carry you on forever.

And when the current comes

you will be lifted up,

carried to the shore,

and you will be better

for having been here,

embracing silence amidst

the water’s roar.

I hope someday

you know the taste

of early morning mountain air,

and the saltwater waves of the ocean,

and the unexpected bliss of some strange sweet-bitter fruit.

But I hope you also know the taste of hope

on an ordinary Tuesday,

when you do not feel okay,

and you rise up anyway.

Do more

than just visit the world;

belt to the heavens,

listen to the languages of every passerby,

in every single moment

go joy-hunting today.

Despite the pale gray on your horizon,

the gloom of a winter weekday’s dawn,

even as you imagine the photographs of a life that could have been,

all the places your mind has wandered

and the stories you had hoped

would end a little differently,

you are still not as lost as you think you are,

you are here, for a reason, to make the most of it.

Listen out for the low-pitched song of the bluebird,

the rustling leaves,

the sound of rain.

Listen for any little reminder of Life,

feel it call you by your name.

Consider the small and nearly missed,

consider the bold, unanimously grand,

consider it all something

worth tasting and cherishing,

making the most of your days at hand.

Consider it a natural thing

if this way of living

takes some patterning

and getting used to,

for this is an unfolding

of a novel-length awakening

of seeing what has always

been calling you.

You find yourself

beneath a canopy of trees

with broken branches,

covered with moss tangled at your knees.

Rest assured

the forest does not crawl on forever.

But you must begin the journey

here.

For this is the time,

this is the time to come alive,

to walk tall with a beating heart

and wide-open midday eyes,

to surrender,

here in the green,

for you are still free

to travel free,

without knowing

everything,

humbly following the traces of daylight,

even though the path is unmarked,

even though this was not a favored start,

this is your only Hope

to make it through

precisely here,

pushing through the land of the unknown

you will find your home

in Hope.

So for now,

while you are here,

turn your attention

to the lessons of strength

this present forest offers.

I CANNOT TELL YOU

THE COLOR OF TOMORROW’S SUNRISE

OR WHAT HUES WILL BURN

LIKE LEAVES BEFORE YOUR EYES.

I CANNOT TELL YOU

WHICH PLANTS IN YOUR GARDEN

WILL BLOOM BEFORE OTHERS

OR WHICH ONES YOU WILL HAVE TO PRUNE

AND WAIT FOR A SEASON LONGER,

BUT I CAN TELL YOU,

TOMORROW IS ON ITS WAY.

YOU WILL STEP INTO AN ALL-NEW DAY,

AWAKE.

Shadows

fall like midnight

on your shoulders,

but those shadows will have no grip on you

for they are doomed

to be drowned out by Light.

And you might feel their heaviness

weighing down on your knees,

making it harder

to walk,

to breathe,

but you will be alright,

for you still are learning

what it means to be strong.

You are still a capable, thriving being,

at a slower, shadow-lined pace.

You might feel

overwhelmed

beneath

this canopy

of endless trees,

but if you choose to keep going,

you will soon find the clearing,

an open field

with room

to rest

before you rise and begin again.

For even though

restless questions

crowd your midnight-wondering,

every breath

is a step

in the direction of morning.

Let go

to grab hold

of tomorrow’s possibility,

and try again,

try again.

SO WHEN YOU

ASK HOW I’VE BEEN,

I WRAP MY WORDS

IN TODAY’S BEAUTIFUL TRUTH

THAT I AM NOT

WHO I WAS

BACK THEN.

I WILL NOT JUSTIFY

THIS SELF-EVIDENT REALITY

THAT GRACE

HAS CHANGED

MY VIEW.

Here’s to more vivid dreams,

when-you-are-sleeping dreams and

wide-awake middle-of-the-day dreams

that make your heart fall in love

in an instant.

Because lately, these hills you have been climbing

have woven weariness into your bones,

driving you further and further from home,

and as much as you want to believe

the terrain will even itself out,

you have persisting doubts

and gray scale fears

that the road signs

will be obstructed

by the rain

and you will be stuck here,

estranged in an unknown place.

So when you are struggling to keep climbing,

and the wind has blown you to your knees,

and any hope you had

fell through the cracks

of the earth,

dream

of the tree-lined clearing up ahead

you have yet to see.

Have the audacity

to keep dreaming

in full color, come undone,

letting hope have its way.

And whenever

she starts to forget

the story of her original bloom,

the flowers of this green earth remind her

she too will spring up from the ground

again.

Gravity will not restrain her,

for the sun and rainfall

will propel her

up

from gritty soil

into open morning air,

and Light will meet her there

and she will

begin

to unfold

in the way

she is meant to.

When it’s 2 a.m.

and the room

is lined

with shadows,

turn your eyes

toward the window—

to the little light burn of

the street lamp

the white star

the flickering red light of the airplane passing by . . .

breathe deep, breathe deep,

it is okay

to feel a little out of place

in this dark and restless space

and come falling,

falling

into grace.

And know this is still true:

Lo, I am

with you

until the end of end of earth,

even at restless 2 a.m.’s,

even when it hurts.

So turn on the music,

open the book,

you do not have to count the hours.

You may have lost your share of sleep,

but Light will never lose the glory,

and no matter how long these late nights last,

the sun is on the way

with mercy in the morning.

I believe

there is a time for everything under the sun.

A time to live, a time to die,

a time to rise, to dream, to become . . .

to find room for me

in the most crowded spaces of my mind,

to see there is still time

for me to slow down,

process things,

and let Ecclesiastes sing to me:

you may have come undone,

but there is a time under the sun,

for everything,

absolutely everything.

You do not have to live afraid.

You do not have to live in an overgrown garden

of weeds

that have no place.

Every fear you have known

did not come here alone,

it came with its own story

welling up from the past.

Never let fear make a home in your garden.

It is a weed,

but you are free to yank it up,

you are free to speak with fire:

“enough is enough.”

For this garden of your life

is the place where flowers grow,

and they are not only beautiful—

they are powerful,

releasing breath into the air around them.

Pause

and exhale.

PERHAPS THIS IS THE SEASON

TO STEP FULLY INTO THE BEAUTIFUL REALITY

OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE FREE:

BRAVE AND ADVENTUROUS

AND READY FOR THE JOURNEY

OF LEARNING AND GROWING.

OF LIVING AND KNOWING

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE EVERY ANSWER

TO BREATHE DEEP AND KEEP GOING.

Remember this place

in the years to come.

Remember the streetlight,

flickering and dim.

And that silvery car

parked

awaiting the traffic light,

reflecting back the red hues

so typical of

that season of life.

It will pass on,

in time,

it passes on.

Are they residents,

or are they

merely passing through?

Oh, these seemingly insignificant

moments of light,

I am still

grateful for you.

Dive in

beyond the reef.

And what will you call it?

What will you name

this grand adventure?

Will you call it

“Into the deep,”

“The day I finally learned to breathe,”

“The strength I did not know I would need,”

or will you simply call it

“Be”?

For after all,

this is what

you are doing:

discovering

the courage

living inside of you

is not as distant

as it seemed.

No matter how this season ends,

you will walk away knowing

what you did not know back then.

This year will not end like last year,

nor any other year before.

May you never forget all of the people you met

who planted seeds of hope

in your life

when you least expected it.

May you never forget

the garden

that still bloomed

even after your driest seasons.

No matter how big or small,

these people and these places

have been part of it all:

season into season.

Together, you have watched dead things come to life,

day by day, flower by flower.

Take a look around

at what is still growing:

a tree outside your window

your collection of books

a friendship

hope

For by grace you will grow

into who you were meant to be,

and you will arrive,

and thrive,

in due season

together.

At the right time,

every broken thing

will come together for the good.

You are more than your

failures,

successes,

more than your fears.

And far beyond the surface

of your desires,

there is a truer reason

why you are still here.

If you find yourself struggling

to see past your imperfections

because you cannot figure out how

what’s torn apart can come together,

may you know in your soul

that the answer is not found in thinking,

feeling,

doing,

but in trusting in what is Greater than you.

Some fears are like droughts

that roll in over mountains

stripping the earth

of the lush green and soft soil

that once promised

fruitful life,

sending your tired eyes searching

for hope

in what has become

the most hopeless place.

But it is in these desperately barren landscapes

you come to learn:

this Glorious Living Water

running wild through your veins

is entirely

unafraid

of the dry, scorched place of your fears.

So take heart when fear is raging.

Seek courage over control.

Learn to let go into the wild of things,

learn to grow as things unfold.

TAKE HEART,

TAKE HEART,

DO NOT BE AFRAID.

THE FUTURE MAY BE UNCERTAIN,

BUT THERE IS NO NEED

TO HIDE AWAY.

EVERY DAY IS AN OPPORTUNITY

TO COURAGEOUSLY SHOW UP,

EVEN WHEN YOU DO NOT FEEL EQUIPPED,

OR THAT YOU WILL BE ENOUGH.

LET GRACE SURPRICE YOU,

SETTING FIRE TO YOUR BONES,

STRENGTHENING YOUR MIND

IN THE WILD OF YOUR UNKNOWNS.

Be at peace in the mystery.

You can thrive in the mystery,

feel free and safe in mystery,

assured the ground beneath your feet

is safe and ever sturdy.

Not everything can be put into words.

A mystery-ridden life is still filled with Light,

and it is okay

to have days

where you are still learning

what that looks like.

Make a

practice

of resting.

There will be mountains,

coastlines,

and sunsets over power lines,

and there will also be moments

when you are lost in your room

of journals

filled with unanswered prayers

and a wall of photographs

that taunt you

with cold, distant stares—

but slowly and surely,

you find

graceful strength

to press into the moment

and come alive within it,

to turn to a blank page

and start writing again,

to remember the way you felt

when those photographs

were first taken,

realizing that nothing

stays the same,

but even though

things have changed,

you can see old things as new

in the most ordinary rooms.

Even the dull moments

that make you long

to be elsewhere,

will prepare you

for where you want to be,

and you will have gratitude

when you arrive there.

Find the music

in the noise around you,

shuffling footsteps,

distant chatter,

the sound of doors

swinging open and closed,

the buzz of a phone,

the occasional laughter . . .

You may not have chosen

your surroundings,

but you can choose

to find life in them.

When that inner

critical voice

decides

to speak,

it must not

lead the way.

It does not speak

for how you have grown.

It does not speak

for when you fell.

It does not speak

for where you are going

and the story

your life tells.

Fall in love with the art of living.

Fall in love with letting things be.

Fall in love with listening.

Be still in the sun,

where the winds ever-gently blow,

knowing it is here,

in moments like this,

you are living,

and you will grow.

YOU ARE FREE

TO LAY YOUR

BURDENS DOWN,

COMING ALIVE

RIGHT HERE,

RIGHT NOW.

MAY YOU CLING TO ENDLESS PEACE

NO MATTER YOUR UNKNOWNS.

MAY IT BE A FEAST OF HOPE SET BEFORE YOU

WHEN YOU FEEL THE MOST ALONE.

I do not know

what has left you empty

or made you feel

like you could never be

enough—

that your love

was not enough.

But I can promise you,

as long as your heart is beating,

you are meant to be

on this earth, and you have more love to give,

and there is more love

to be given to you.

When you are exhausted

trying to choose

which door

is best

for you,

and you fear

that if you do not make the right choice

at a wall of a hundred doors,

slow down and remember,

within the Light,

you will not fail.

Once you begin to see

how Light spills through

no matter which door you choose,

you will have confidence

to meet any challenges that lie ahead.

And even when your mind

is filled with questions,

your heart is filled with joy,

you are learning to see

that in every corner,

on every wall,

there are lessons in them all

and you are free

to walk with confidence

through whatever door

before you

that leads to new Life.

You have traveled so far,

and you choose

again

today

to walk in the Light.

This season

she is learning the art

of becoming,

unashamedly

stepping out

from behind the iron gate

she settled behind

long ago.

She is stepping

onto the cracked sidewalk

overgrown with wild green,

choosing to believe

out here in the unfamiliar,

in the open

she is free

to explore,

discover,

uncover

who she

is meant to be.

You do not have to live afraid.

You do not have to live

with the lie

that things will always be this way.

Today you can believe

things will come together

as they should,

all by grace,

for the better,

for the good.

I want to plant

bellflowers

in unexpected places.

I want to know

color

after the rain,

for I have endured too much pain.

I have seen too many storms

that were supposed to stay at sea.

I never thought they would find me.

I found strength to breathe

one breath

at a time,

so I could know

true peace,

a field in bloom

in my crowded mind,

and to believe

even this

would pass,

and I would find rest

and healing,

at last.