| |
Roarke
I pulled up to the bumpy road leading to the cabins. Instead of speeding up, I cruised and peered out the side window.
For once, I was coming home when there was still a straggling ray of sunlight remaining in the sky. Darkness was creeping closer, but I still had the visibility to clearly make out the sight of Heather seated on the single chair set outside her cabin.
She rocked back on the rear two legs, her feet propped on an old crate that had been left behind by the previous tenant. Back and forth, she idly moved the wooden chair. Her gaze was glued on her phone instead of looking up to see who might be driving by.
Then again, she had to guess it would be me. No one else came out this way. Her cabin and mine were the only ones that were currently occupied.
What the hell.
On impulse, I slowed my truck even further. Pushing my foot to the brake pedal, I acted on the desire to stop and check on her.
She’d been on my mind for the last week, but I hadn’t spoken to her once. We hadn’t crossed paths close enough to talk. Even if we did, I had no idea what I would’ve said. I could only wonder what she might want to convey to me. More scorn that she’d caved to kissing me?
Probably.
But this silence had gone on long enough. It had gone on too damn long. It wasn’t right to be this hung up on a woman I never wanted in my life. Maybe if I gave in and caught up with her, I’d be guided back to why I had no business wishing for her attention and time.
As I steered my truck her way, her head popped up. She tapped the small screen, likely pausing whatever she was watching, to narrow her eyes at my approach.
No, you’re not expecting me. I know that. And I also didn’t care. She obviously wasn’t busy, just chilling and relaxing out here in the last bit of the golden hour while it was still warm.
Her brow furrowed I as braked. I didn’t reconsider. When I turned off my truck, she pressed her lips in a firm line of disapproval. And I carried on, exiting the truck and walking toward her.
Keeping my hands in my pockets, I made sure to look casual, like this was just a random, meaningless visit. Sure, she hadn’t invited me to stop. But maybe this could be tit for tat? She’d needed my help for a place to sleep, and I needed her help to get her out of my damn mind.
“What are you doing here?” she asked simply, cutting through the suspenseful quiet as I strolled toward her. I didn’t miss the surprise in her voice.
“Just stopping by to say hi.”
She arched one brow as I grabbed a second weathered chair and turned it around. Before it stopped moving, I stepped closer then lowered to straddle it. I faced her, but I ensured I wasn’t crowding her in. A couple of yards lay between us on this front-porch like area.
I didn’t know much about her, but I was aware that she could be skittish. Guarded. And maybe nervous or scared for reasons I didn’t know. Her trouble was her business, but I was a glutton to want to learn more.
“I didn’t invite you,” she said carefully.
“Then I suppose I’ve invited myself.”
She rolled her eyes. “Nothing’s gonna happen here.” Flicking her finger between us, she cleared her throat. “Don’t think something’s going to happen between us.”
“Again?” I asked, clarifying that something already had happened between us. Something I couldn’t stop revisiting when I was idle. We’d shared a bed. We’d fucking snuggled, something I hated. And we’d kissed.
My fingers itched with a tingle, induced by a phantom longing to have her ass in my grip again.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” she repeated dryly.
“Jeez. Where’s your manners?” I taunted playfully. “I said I was stopping by just to say hi and you’re acting like a hissing cat whose tail I stepped on.”
“Maybe that means I don’t want to say hi to you.”
I tilted my head to the side. If she was putting so much effort in to getting rid of me, it really mattered to her that she had her privacy and solitude back again. “Damn.”
She dropped her chair forward, forsaking that lazy, leisurely rocking of her chair. “Damn what?”
“Someone sure did a number on you to make you that rough with me from the get-go.”
Licking her lips, she hesitated to answer. When a long moment stretched into a second, silent and tense, I realized she wasn’t hesitant. Just stubborn.
All right. I’ll tread lightly.
“So. Hi.”
She huffed, seeming to fight a smile. “Hi.”
More silence reigned. This time, though, it didn’t feel as hostile. It was more like two enemies sizing the other up, not to necessarily fight against each other but to combat for a different outcome. Maybe in the name of seeing who’d snap first and surrender.
“Correct my memory, but I recall you telling me you were done with women. No more ‘drama’ in your life.”
I nodded, aware that she was correct with that claim. I had said that. And I’d repeat it again. The only issue now was that I wondered if she could be an exception. The woman who didn’t want me, luring me in.
“It seems to me that someone must have done a number on you to act like such a jerk around me.”
“Was I a jerk when I let you stay at my cabin when you were locked out?”
The faintest hint of a blush colored her cheeks.
I got you there. But I didn’t want to rub it in.
“Someone did do a number on me,” I admitted, surprising myself that I was volunteering this information to her. Gavin knew my past. As did several others. These details weren’t ones I told just anyone though, and that made me recognize that my trust in Heather was growing.
“Yeah?” She crossed her arms, but it didn’t strike me as a defensive posture. Just a way to lay her arms over her.
This was the trick to get her to cool down, though. I recalled how she’d practically interrogated me that night at my place, peppering me with one question after another. I didn’t have to be a genius to see that she didn’t want to talk about herself. I got it. I understood. So in the same light, I opened up, hopefully to show her that I wasn’t a threat. That I wasn’t something to be so guarded about.
“Veronica Gedding. That’s her name.”
“Oh?” She watched me carefully. It wasn’t an appreciative gaze, not like when inches parted us and we lay face to face in my bed. But that hardly mattered. I was reaching her. I was...making a connection. I couldn’t convince myself that it was wise to make one with her. This was the opposite of avoiding involvement, but I wasn’t stopping.
“My ex-wife.”
“You were married?” She huffed, lowering her gaze for a moment. “Then again, that shouldn’t shock me.”
“Why not?” I grinned. “Because I’m obviously husband material?”
“No. Because you’re old.”
I smirked.
“Because you’re older,” she corrected with a ghost of a smile.
“Only...” I studied her. “Well, I know you’re young.”
“I’m not young!”
I cracked up. “Damn, and here I thought all women wanted to look young and fresh.”
“When you say it, you make it sound like I’m too young.”
“If I thought you were too young for me,” I said in a slow drawl, “I wouldn’t have offered for you to get in my bed.”
That blush returned. Another silent spell followed.
Dammit. I was supposed to be talking about myself, getting to lower her guard. Not remind her about the night I wished we could repeat. Nothing had happened—until the morning kissing. But I’d slept so damn well with her next to me.
“I’m thirty-six,” I said. “So I’m...twelve years older than you?”
“I’m twenty-four,” she mumbled.
“Hey. I am good at math after all.”
She sighed, making me think she fought another small smile.
Damn, was she hard to crack.
“Anyway. I was married to Veronica for several years. We divorced three years ago.”
She didn’t speak for another long moment, perhaps weighing what to say.
I continued anyway. I bet she didn’t want to ask a follow-up question so she wouldn’t look like she was interested.
“She was a real fancy lady, raised to be a spoiled little brat. A daddy’s girl, and also the rancher’s daughter.”
“You slept with your boss’s daughter?”
I nodded. “Well, no. She um, drugged me at a party, implicated that I’d taken advantage of her, and then that somehow turned into her thinking we were meant to be.”
Her eyes opened wide. “Whoa.”
“Yeah. Whoa is right. She was a big city sort of girl. High fashion. Lots of shopping. At the salon every other day. You get the picture. High maintenance. And never the kind of woman who could truly be content with someone like me.”
Heather arched her brows.
“I wasn’t some poor idiot. When my parents died, they left me a fair share of money. I always assumed that was why she was interested in me in the first place, thinking I could ‘afford’ her and give her the things she was used to and always wanted.”
“Hmm.”
I cleared my throat, surprised that my tone wasn’t an angry one yet. Normally, just thinking about Veronica made me so mad I’d shout and curse. But I didn’t, not here with Heather.
“What happened?” she asked.
A glimmer of hope brightened my mood. She was invested in me, or at the very least, invested in this conversation.
“She got bored. Cheated, tried to baby trap me after I discovered her affair. Then ‘lost’ the baby she didn’t have in the first place only to get knocked up by some pansy-ass horse breeder who’d been visiting the ranch.” I shook my head. “We weren’t compatible. That was the crux of it. The moment I realized that, too late, of course, I got the hell out of Dallas and took the first decent job I could find.”
“Here?” She frowned. “You moved from Dallas to Burton?”
“I moved to the Grand River.”
She furrowed her brow again. “You moved here for the job.”
“I’m not the first. Nor would I be the last.”
“Sure. That’s true. But...” She narrowed her eyes, seeming perplexed. “You left Dallas to come here.”
I smiled. “I happen to like it. This slower pace of life. Smaller crowds. Not a ton of flashy crap to distract you.”
“Okay, that is what’s going to make you sound old.”
I shrugged. “Then so be it.”
When she didn’t speak up again, I wondered if she could give me a little more about herself. She didn’t know that I’d asked Gavin about her, and I had a hunch that what he told me was just a little tip of the iceberg. I wanted to hear about her from her lips.
I was searching for a sign that she could trust me.
“I heard you moved here from the big city too,” I said neutrally.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “From Chicago.” But she was no fool. Directly a stern gaze on me, she added, “You’ve heard by now that I’m not a newcomer.”
“Correct. And it’s making me wonder something.” I rubbed my beard, stroking it down and wondering how much longer I’d keep it. I began growing it out when I moved here, as a sign of a “new me.” But dammit it was getting tiresome to deal with.
“What’s that?” she asked wryly. “Why I came back?”
I shook my head. I could tell from her general attitude that she didn’t want to return to Burton. “No.”
“Then what?” She frowned, getting defensive again, but I counted on that. She didn’t like opening up about herself.
“What are you looking for?”
She grunted a weak laugh. “Are you being philosophical now?”
“No. I’m curious what you’re so convinced you’ll find somewhere else, far from here.”
Her lips remained clamped shut, tight together.
Welp. That does it.
I pushed her too far. I wasn’t getting another damn word out of her.
A couple of minutes later, after I stood and said, “Well, goodnight,” I took my leave and wished that it didn’t have to be like this.
