Fourteen

Anna

“I almost thought you were going to blow me off tonight,” said Edmond as he stopped by Anna’s office after work.

“Blow you off?” she asked innocently.

“As in, ‘See ya later, Edmond,’” he said as he helped her into her coat.

“Hey, I promised you dinner,” said Anna. “I’m not backing out.”

Edmond didn’t look convinced. “But maybe you were thinking about it?”

“No, of course not.”

“So, we’re still on for six thirty then?” He still sounded like he expected her to bail on him.

“That’s what I said.” She buttoned her coat.

“And I’m picking you up?”

“Unless you’d rather meet there.”

“No, I’m happy to pick you up.”

She forced a smile. “Great.”

“Do you need a ride home?” he asked hopefully.

“No,” said Anna. “Thanks.”

“But I didn’t see your car in the lot.”

“The weather wasn’t bad, so I walked. And I plan to walk home. I wanted to stop by the store on my way.”

“But it’s dark out.”

She gave him a warning glance. “Now you’re starting to sound like my mother.”

He nodded. “Okay. I get it.”

“See you at six thirty,” she said as she reached for her bag and headed toward the front door.

“See ya!”

Edmond was right, it was dark, and Anna wished that she’d taken him up on that ride. Not that she was afraid, exactly. But maybe a little uncomfortable. Growing up with her mother’s constant phobias and dire predictions had left its mark on her. Anna knew it was time to grow up. Wasn’t that one of the main reasons she’d moved away from home in the first place?

So, with renewed confidence, she marched down the sidewalk and stopped at the small grocery store, where she got a quart of milk and a box of cereal and a few other things. Then she hurried on home. Bloomberg Place was less than three blocks away, and the streets were actually well lit. Other pedestrians just like her were out and about, and no one seemed the least bit concerned about any of it. By the time Anna was in the house, she realized that she wasn’t concerned either.

But as she was putting her groceries away, she knew what concerned her most was tonight’s dinner with Edmond. He’d given her every opportunity to get out of it. It was as if he expected her to. And yet that had made her simply dig in her heels. She was determined to keep her promise to him, even if it meant she dumped him afterward.

Was she really going to dump him?

“You seem troubled,” said Megan as she came into the kitchen.

Anna sighed and shook her head. “Flustered. I’m thinking of breaking up with Edmond tonight.”

Megan frowned. “Too bad. He’s a nice guy.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you breaking up?” Megan seemed genuinely curious.

“I’m not sure. I mean, he is a nice guy and I really like him. But there’s Jake to consider now.”

“Meaning you’re choosing Jake over Edmond?”

“I don’t know.”

Megan put a hand on Anna’s shoulder. “Maybe you should just take it one step at a time.”

Anna thought about this, then nodded. “One step at a time. Okay.”

So that’s what she was telling herself when Edmond picked her up. And what was rumbling in the back of her mind as she made small talk with him on the way to the restaurant. But once they were there, she was worried this was a big mistake. Why was she going to the trouble of introducing him to her parents if she was about to dump him? Or maybe she wasn’t about to dump him? And, really, dump was the wrong word. She would let him down gently.

“This must be Edmond,” said her mother as soon as they entered. She had obviously posted herself as hostess so that she’d be the first to see him. Anna went through the formal introduction and her mother actually took Edmond’s hand and smiled. “Very nice to meet you … finally.”

“Finally?” he peered curiously at Anna.

“Oh, our Anna’s been telling us all about you,” said her mother.

Edmond smiled. “She has?”

“Oh, yes. We’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” She waved to Anna’s dad, who was coming their way. “And this is Anna’s father, Mr. Mendez.”

Anna tried to look relaxed as her father chatted briefly with Edmond. But the whole time she was asking herself why, why, why she had brought him here. It would only make everything harder in the end.

“This is a great place, Anna,” said Edmond after they were seated. “Not at all what I expected.”

“Thanks.” Anna put her napkin in her lap. She glanced around the semicrowded restaurant, trying to see the usual round tables with white linen tablecloths, crystal votives, and fresh flowers with fresh eyes. Quiet Mexican music played in the background. “What did you expect?”

He smiled. “Oh, you know … bright colors, pottery, piñatas, that sort of thing.”

She kind of laughed. “Well, you should’ve come here back in the old days. Gil has worked hard to change that image. He’s trying to make this restaurant more upscale and elegant. Are you disappointed?”

“No, not at all. This is nice. And very romantic.” He winked at her.

“Don’t expect violins.”

“Do your parents want to join—”

“No,” she said too quickly.

“Oh?”

“I mean they have to work. That’s all.”

He nodded, but his brow was creased. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay, then.” He sighed and Anna could tell that he was suspicious. And why shouldn’t he be? She was acting like a total idiot. She was a total idiot. What kind of fool brings her boyfriend to meet her parents and have dinner on the same night she’s thinking of breaking up? So, to distract herself from this, and to somehow make it through this evening without losing it, Anna began to chatter away about the restaurant. She started with the linen napkins that she used to be in charge of, explaining how they couldn’t afford to have them laundered, so it had been Anna’s job to get them clean and pressed. She went on and on about how stubborn some stains could be and how monotonous it was to iron square after square after square.

“It was so wonderful when we got laundry service,” she went on, knowing she probably sounded even more idiotic now than before. But somehow she managed to get them clear through dinner, and then they were eating flan for desert.

“Anna,” began Edmond carefully. “I know that something is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong,” she said quickly.

“No,” he continued. “I can read you like a book.” He sort of laughed. “Okay, maybe not quite that well yet. But I know that something is troubling you. Did I do something to offend you?”

She frowned and laid down her fork, then folded her napkin and set it on the table. “No, you haven’t done anything wrong, Edmond.”

He nodded. “Okay. What is it then?”

She looked down at her lap now.

“You don’t want to talk about it here?”

“No, not really.” She looked back at him and pressed her lips together.

“I understand.” He glanced around to spot their waiter, one of Anna’s cousins, who seemed to have totally disappeared.

“Do you need something else?” Anna asked, ready to pop up and get something, anything, just to get away from him for a few seconds. “More coffee?”

“No, just the bill.”

She laughed. “Oh, there’s no bill, Edmond. I told you it was my treat.”

“You’re sure?”

“Of course.” It was actually her parents’ treat, but that was pretty much the same thing. “Are you ready to go?”

“If you are.” He quickly stood and helped with her chair—always the gentleman. She wondered if she’d miss that. Then he helped her with her coat and politely told her parents good-bye and thanked them for everything.

“It was a pleasure to meet you,” said Anna’s mother, winking at Anna.

“You kids be good now,” called her dad.

Edmond gave him a thumbs-up and a smile that had a shadow behind it. Anna wondered if her parents could see. Finally they were back outside, walking silently to his car. In the car, Edmond turned to look at her, his face dimly lit from the parking lot lights. “Anna, what’s going on?”

She felt her hands balling up into fists in her lap. Why was this so hard? Why didn’t she just spit it out? Maybe it was because she knew how it felt. She knew how badly it hurt to be dumped. But Edmond was different from her. For one thing, he was a guy. For another thing, he always seemed to take life in stride. Easygoing and generally cheerful, he’d probably actually understand and get over it. Maybe he’d be happy for her. Maybe they could still be friends.

“Edmond …” She looked directly at him. “Remember the guy I told you about?”

“The guy?”

“The guy I went with for a couple of years.”

He frowned. “The dude who broke your heart?”

“Yes.”

An uncomfortable silence settled in the car.

“You don’t think …” he began slowly. “You don’t think that’s what I’m going to do, do you, Anna? Because if you do, you can just forget about—”

“No, no, that’s not it,” she said quickly.

“What, then?”

“Edmond, I’m so sorry, but that guy … his name is Jake. Jake Romero. And he was at the wedding last weekend and …”

“Oh.” He nodded and put his key into the ignition, but didn’t turn it.

“I never expected to see him at the wedding,” she continued. “I didn’t even know that he knew the couple. And I actually tried to run when I realized he was there. But he stopped me. And then we were talking, and he was saying how much he missed me, and I suddenly realized that I still had feelings for him. I wanted to tell you last weekend, but I just wasn’t sure.”

“Weren’t sure?”

“About how I felt.”

“And you’re sure now?”

“I don’t know.”

“You must know, Anna.” He stared at her with wounded eyes. “How do you feel? Tell me.”

“Confused.” She felt tears coming now. “And sorry. Edmond, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s okay, Anna.” Edmond turned the key.

“What do you mean, that’s okay?” she demanded.

“I mean I know what you’re saying to me. I get it. I think I actually knew yesterday.”

“How could you know?”

“Because I know you, Anna.”

She didn’t say anything now. How could he possibly know her when she didn’t even seem to know herself? He drove her back to the house in silence. And it felt like the longest twenty minutes of Anna’s life. Still, she could think of nothing to say.

“Thanks for dinner tonight,” he said as he opened the door and helped her out of the car.

“How can you say that?” she demanded.

He sort of shrugged, but she could see he was hurting. “It was a good dinner, Anna. And your parents seem nice.”

“Edmond,” she tried again, “I’m really sorry.”

“You said that.”

“But I am. And I know I’ve hurt you.”

He paused halfway to the house. “I’ll get over it.”

“Don’t be mad,” she said.

“Mad?” He seemed to be thinking hard over this. “No, I don’t think I’m mad.”

“I’m really, really sorry.”

“Good night, Anna.” Then without saying another word, he turned and abruptly walked back to the car, got in, and drove off. He didn’t swear or slam his door. He didn’t even drive fast. Not that she’d expected him to do any of those things.

Anna went on up to the porch, telling herself that at least the hard part was over now. She didn’t need to feel like she was leading Edmond on anymore. She had made her choice, and she’d been honest with him. Not only that, he’d taken it well. He wasn’t even mad. And he’d politely said good night. She should feel totally relieved now. Instead, she felt like crying. And she felt just as confused as before.