Fifteen

Lelani

“What are you doing home in the middle of the week?” Kendall asked as she joined Lelani in the kitchen.

“I have the morning off.” Lelani poured some cream into her second cup of coffee. She wanted to add that since she had the morning off, she had hoped to enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. She glanced at the kitchen clock. It was barely past nine. “What are you doing up this early, Kendall?”

“Oh, not much.” Kendall’s blue eyes twinkled with mischief as she reached for the coffee carafe.

Okay, now Lelani was curious. Kendall had been acting strange lately—even for Kendall. “Seriously, Kendall, what’s up? Did you find a job or something?”

“Or something.”

“What kind of something?”

Kendall adjusted the belt on her fluffy white bathrobe and smiled smugly. “Well, can I trust you?”

“Trust me?” Lelani wasn’t sure. What was Kendall planning now? “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I mean I’m not ready for everyone to know what I’m up to.”

“Meaning you don’t want me to tell Megan and Anna?”

“I just don’t want all three of you on my case all at once.”

“On your case for what?”

Kendall took a slow sip of coffee, then pressed her lips together and smiled coyly. But she didn’t say anything.

Lelani could feel herself being sucked into this—this whatever it was. And she decided she really didn’t want to know, didn’t want to be involved. Whatever Kendall was up to was her problem, not Lelani’s. “Well, have a nice day.” Lelani smiled as if speaking to an “I’m just looking” customer at the cosmetics counter. And then she started to leave the kitchen.

“Wait,” said Kendall.

Lelani turned and looked evenly at her.

“Come on,” said Kendall eagerly. She joined Lelani in the dining room and pulled out a chair. “I need someone to talk to.”

With reluctance, Lelani sat down. She’d had her chance to make a smooth getaway and blown it. Maybe she deserved this. “Okay, Kendall, what’s up?”

“So I can trust you then?”

Lelani shrugged. “I guess. I mean unless you’re planning on doing something totally nuts or illegal or dangerous.”

“None of the above.” Kendall frowned slightly. “At least I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?”

Kendall laughed. “Kidding.”

“Seriously, Kendall. What’s going on?”

“Okay.” Kendall took in a deep breath then slowly exhaled. “I’m planning to go down to LA.”

“So?” Lelani wondered what the big deal was here. Or was Kendall just a drama queen who could make anything into a personal premiere?

“So … I’m meeting Matthew down there.”

Lelani slowly nodded as it sunk in. “Meeting Matthew, as in continuing your, uh, your little affair with him?”

Kendall looked uncertain. “You make it sound so skanky.”

“Isn’t it?” Lelani peered curiously at her now. “I mean, you know now that Matthew’s married. Even if you didn’t know before, as you claim, you don’t have that excuse anymore.”

“Unhappily married,” Kendall corrected her.

“Even so.” Lelani frowned at her. “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m in love.”

“He’s married.”

“Unhappily.”

Lelani just shook her head.

Kendall looked like someone had just popped her balloon. “I should’ve known better than to tell you.”

“I’m just being honest.”

“Honest from your perspective. Can’t you even consider mine?”

Lelani thought about this. Little did Kendall know that Lelani hadn’t only considered Kendall’s point of view, she’d been there. She’d been the other woman. The problem was that Lelani honestly hadn’t known Ben was married. He deceived her, then betrayed her. But of all the girls in this house, Kendall was the last one she’d trust with that story!

“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” said Kendall unhappily.

“What?”

“To end up with three goody-goody housemates.” Kendall’s lower lip jutted out. “I had hoped that maybe you were different.”

Lelani kind of laughed. “I am different. We’re all different. Look, I can understand how you feel, Kendall. I guess I’m just questioning your judgment. Are you sure that it’s wise to go down there to be with a married guy?”

“I think he loves me too, Lelani. And I know that his marriage is in trouble. I’ve been reading about it online. And I’ve been reading about Matthew, and I think we have a lot in common. I think it could really work.”

“Seriously?”

“I feel like I need to at least give it my best shot. I mean, what if I didn’t even try, and what if his marriage is over with and some other girl jumps in before me? How would I feel? Matthew told me that I was special. He wanted to spend more time with me. How can I let that slip by?”

“You could get hurt.”

“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Lelani couldn’t help but laugh at the melodrama. But even as she laughed, she could see the sensibility in Kendall’s plan. And that scared her.

“Fine,” said Kendall, standing. “Go ahead and laugh at me. I know you guys all think I’m just a joke.”

“I’m not laughing at you.” Lelani snickered.

“Then what?”

Lelani stood too. “I guess it’s just life in general. And in a way I do admire you, Kendall.”

Kendall blinked. “You do?”

“Yes. For going for your dreams—even if they do seem a bit crazy to me.”

Kendall made a little half smile. “Well, thanks. I think.”

“When are you going?”

“Friday morning. In fact, I was wondering if I could talk you into driving me to the airport. In exchange you can have the use of my car while I’m gone.”

Lelani considered this. Not a bad deal. “What time?”

“Early. My flight’s at 7:35 a.m.”

“And you’re supposed to be at the airport two hours early.”

“Well, I was thinking an hour early would be okay.”

“No,” said Lelani firmly. “Holiday travel has already started, and I heard on the news that you really do need to be two hours early.”

“Sheesh, maybe I should just stay in an airport hotel.”

“No,” said Lelani. “You’ll just get to bed early and I’ll wake you up in time to be at the airport by five thirty.”

Kendall groaned.

“Unless you just want to forget the whole thing and just—”

“No,” said Kendall quickly. “I’m going.”

Now Lelani was curious. “Did you get your tickets already?”

“Oh, yeah. And booking a flight at the last minute is not cheap.”

“So how could you afford it?”

Kendall smiled. “Mommy and Daddy.”

“Huh?”

“Early Christmas present.”

“So they’re okay with what you’re doing? Or do they even know?”

“They know. And they’re totally on board. They just want me to be happy.”

“And it probably doesn’t hurt that Matthew Harmon has a pretty successful career and is making good money.”

Kendall put her hand on her chest as if offended. “You don’t think I’m after him for his money, do you? A gold digger?”

Lelani shrugged. “I’m just saying.”

“Well, I’m not. Even if Matthew were poor, I’d still love him.”

Lelani wasn’t convinced, but she wasn’t going there.

“Anyway, I need to get my wardrobe set,” said Kendall.

“Your wardrobe set?” Lelani tried not to laugh.

“You know, for the warm weather down there. I’ve done a little shopping, but summer clothes are scarce this time of year.”

“Don’t you already have things?”

“Old things.” Kendall’s eyes lit up. “Hey, I’ll bet you have a good selection of clothes from Hawaii.”

Lelani shrugged. “I doubt there’s anything there that you would—”

“Let’s go check it out,” said Kendall as she headed straight for Lelani’s room. And the next thing Lelani knew, they were digging through her closet in search of “cool” clothes for Kendall’s trip.

“This is awesome.” Kendall held up a white gauzy top and looked in the mirror. “Diesel’s not my favorite designer, but this one is great. Can I borrow it?”

Lelani studied the blouse. The last time she’d worn it had been with Ben. “You can have it,” she said.

“Hey, thanks.”

Lelani gave Kendall several things that she associated with bad memories. In a way it felt like a purging, like getting some skeletons out of her closet.

“This is going to be great,” said Kendall. “I won’t even need to shop much more. At least not until I get down there. But I feel bad that I’ve made a dent in your closet. You really don’t have a lot of clothes, do you?”

“I have enough.” Lelani frowned. “But what I really need is some ski stuff.”

“Ski stuff?”

So Lelani told her about Gil’s plan to take her up to Mount Hood.

Kendall grinned. “Hey, you’re talking to the right girl. Come on up.” She took off toward the stairs with Lelani trailing her.

Before long, Lelani was loaded down with some pretty cool ski stuff. Several items still had the tags on. “You’re sure you don’t want to return any of these new items?” asked Lelani for the second time.

“No, I got them last year. I’m sure they wouldn’t take them back now.”

“Maybe not. At least not without a huge markdown.”

“So take them and have fun.” Kendall heaped a sweater on top of Lelani’s pile. “Maybe we’ll both have fun.”

“Maybe.” But as Lelani took her pile back to her room, she wasn’t so sure. Oh, she’d probably have fun with Gil. But she wasn’t sure about Kendall. Should Lelani have been more forceful with her, more persuasive about the trouble she was getting into? But wasn’t that a bit hypocritical considering Lelani’s own past? And, as impossible as it seemed, what if Kendall was right? What if Matthew was done with his marriage? What if he and Kendall really did have a future? Why should Lelani attempt to stand in their way?

Lelani dumped the ski clothes onto her bed, and then systematically began trying them on. Most of them not only fit but were very nice. She knew she shouldn’t be too thankful for Kendall’s shopaholic ways, but at the moment she was. Hey, maybe Kendall would marry Matthew Harmon, and maybe he’d help her to pay off her bills. It could happen.

Although Lelani’s shift didn’t start until one, Mr. Green had planned several mandatory employee meetings throughout the day. Her plan was to attend the noon session. Who could complain about being paid for sitting and listening to someone drone on for an hour? As she went up the stairs to the employee lounge, she hoped they’d have food. Fortunately they did. She quickly filled a paper plate, then sat down at the big table with fellow employees.

“Thank you for coming,” said Mr. Green in his usual formal voice. “You’ve probably heard by now that the purpose of this meeting is to address the increase of theft in our store. We have invited a small panel of experts to educate us.” Then he introduced a security expert who began spewing out some staggering statistics.

“More than thirteen billion dollars’ worth of goods are stolen from retailers each year,” he said. “That’s more than thirty-five million dollars per day.” He went on to explain that most shoplifters were adults, but about a fourth were juveniles. Then he described various techniques of professional shoplifters—the ones who did it regularly—and pointed out that it took more than security cameras to catch them.

“Your employer relies on your eyes as well,” he said as he wrapped up. “It’s up to everyone to slow this train down.”

The next expert was a police officer. Her purpose seemed to be to put the fear of the law into the employees’ hearts. “Unfortunately, a fair amount of thefts are inside jobs.” Then she went on to describe how some employees feel that they are owed something beyond their wages, how they justify that stealing from the workplace is acceptable.

Finally, a psychologist was introduced. He explained how many shoplifters were addicted to stealing, whether they needed the items they took or not. “They get an actual chemical high from their escapades,” he said. “Without professional help, they’re unable to resist the impulse to steal.”

Lelani tried to appear interested in all this, but the truth was she knew it didn’t apply to her particular job. Everything she sold was kept in a glass cabinet. When she showed various items, some quite expensive, to customers, she kept a sharp eye on things. So far she didn’t think a single thing had been stolen from her counter. At least not on her watch.

“So, as you see, it’s up to all of us to be alert,” Mr. Green was saying now. “And we’re implementing a bonus plan for employees who participate. If we can reduce the lost revenues from theft, we will reward employees who give assistance.”

Did he expect them to act like bounty hunters now? Lelani didn’t open her mouth to ask. Finally the meeting ended and Lelani went down to work. To her surprise, between busy times, she did find herself watching customers, wondering which ones were there to shop and which ones had stealing on their minds. Really, how could a person know for sure?

For instance, she spotted a woman whose clothing seemed a little shabby. The lady kept lurking around the accessories department, picking up scarves and examining them closely. Yet this woman looked as if she’d never worn a scarf in her life. Lelani tried not to appear to obvious as she puttered around, wiping down the glass surface of the case and straightening a display shelf, but the whole while she was watching the woman in the gray jacket. Finally the woman carried a pastel-colored scarf to the cashier and paid for it. Lelani felt foolish for being so suspicious.

Was it possible that some individuals, like her, for instance, had a natural inability to discern between well-intentioned people and those who were not? Take Ben. Lelani had assumed that because he was a doctor, he was honest. As it turned out, he was not. Then Lelani had trusted her aunt and uncle, but they ultimately betrayed her. Maybe Lelani was just a bad judge of character. Then she thought about Gil. Everything in her said that Gil was good and sincere and honest. But then she’d been wrong before—who could say if she’d be wrong again?

Lelani had been trying to do what Megan suggested. She had been trying to believe in God, to trust him, and even to pray. And to her surprise, this effort had been helping with some of her panic attacks. Or at least it seemed to be. But what if her judgment about that was impaired too?