Twenty-nine

Megan

“Here you go,” said Megan as she handed the homeless woman a booklet of McDonald’s coupons and a five-dollar bill. “Merry Christmas.”

The woman grinned. “Thank you!”

“And there’s Christmas dinner at the mission tomorrow,” said Megan. “I’m going to be there. I hope you’ll come too.”

The woman nodded as if she was considering this. “Merry Christmas to you too, dear,” she called out. “God bless you!”

Cynthia handed Megan a Christmas bonus and told her to go home at noon. “There’s nothing we can do around here anyway.” So Megan’s plan was to help get things ready for the party. Not that there was much to get ready.

“You’re home early,” said Kendall when Megan came in.

“Looks like someone slept in,” said Megan as she hung up her coat. Kendall was still in her robe and slippers, sitting on the sectional with Tinkerbell in her lap.

Kendall made a face. “I’m having a slow morning, okay?”

“Except that it’s afternoon now,” pointed out Megan.

“Thanks for setting me straight on that.”

Megan went to her room, quickly closing the door when she heard the sound of Tinkerbell’s feet tapping down the hallway after her. That mischievous dog had already sneaked into Megan’s room and chewed up a paperback book. No way was Megan letting her in now. Megan flopped down on her bed and let out a deep sigh. This was going to be one lousy Christmas. She wondered if her mom was having fun down in sunny Mexico with Louise. And why wouldn’t she be having fun? Why shouldn’t she? Really, Megan wanted her to have a good time. She wanted her to come home happy and refreshed.

Still, Megan couldn’t help but feel envious. And lonely. And sad. Then she remembered the parable she’d told her housemates last night. Well, at least she should be welcome at God’s party. She was like one of those needy street people. Maybe not financially, but emotionally. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what God’s fabulous Christmas celebration might be like—probably far more incredible than anything she could dream up. At least that was something to look forward to.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” said Lelani.

Megan sat up and blinked. “Huh?”

“It’s Christmas Eve, remember. We need to get things ready for our party.”

Megan nodded. “Oh, yeah, the big party. What time is it?”

“It’s just past four. But we have things to do.”

So Megan trudged out and followed Lelani to the kitchen, where the countertops were covered with various serving dishes—and far more food than eight people could possibly consume. Kendall, now dressed in sweats, was glumly arranging cheese and crackers on a red platter, and Christmas music was playing in the background. Oh, so festive.

“Merry Christmas,” said Kendall in an unenthusiastic voice.

“Let the fun begin.” Megan picked up a bag of veggies and dumped them in the colander to wash.

“Come on, you guys,” urged Lelani. “It’s Christmas. You’re supposed to be merry.”

“Yeah,” Kendall directed this to Megan. “She’s all giddy because Gil is coming tonight.”

“Well, I’m glad someone is happy,” said Megan.

They worked quietly together in the kitchen. And although Lelani made several attempts to cheer them up, the general feeling was not jolly. And by the time they were arranging the food platters on the dining table, Megan felt like this whole party idea was not only a waste of time and money, but an exercise in futility.

“At least we have food,” said Kendall as she popped a deviled egg into her mouth.

“And we’re sure to have leftovers,” added Megan.

“Fine,” said Lelani, shaking her finger at Megan. “Kendall can be the Grinch and you can be Scrooge. Have at it.”

“I’m sorry,” said Megan. “I’ll try harder.”

“Why don’t we all go change into party clothes?” suggested Lelani. “I mean we can at least look like we’re having fun, right?”

“Sure,” said Kendall without a speck of cheer. “We can do that.”

“And dress Tinkerbell up too,” said Lelani.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

Megan was starting to feel guilty as she went back to her room. Here Lelani was trying so hard, and Megan was acting like a spoiled brat. It even seemed like Megan’s bad attitude was rubbing off on Kendall. And not that long ago, Kendall had been enthused over this little event.

As Megan brushed out her hair and applied some lip gloss, she decided it was time to put on her party face as well. No more pity parties, feeling jealous of her mom or missing her dad. No more questioning whether Marcus was thinking about her or not. She needed to buck up, and somehow she’d get through this. It wouldn’t be long before the Christmas holidays were just a memory and life would go on. Besides, she reminded herself, this is what came from having high expectations.

As Megan headed back out she heard someone at the door, but it was too early for guests. Then she saw that it was Anna, and that she’d let herself in. With her luggage in tow, it appeared that Anna planned to stay.

“Hey, Anna,” said Megan happily. “What are you doing?”

“Making amends,” said Anna. “Is Lelani around?”

“Yeah.” Megan hurried back to find that Lelani was already coming out of her room.

“It’s Anna,” whispered Megan. “She said she’s come to make amends.”

Lelani’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Megan walked back through the living room to make herself scarce in the dining room, but Anna stopped her.

“Please stay, Megan. I think everyone should hear this.”

“Even me?” asked Kendall. She’d been lurking in the kitchen.

“Yes.” Anna nodded. “I want to apologize to all three of you. I’m really sorry for the way I treated everyone. I was just very confused and I believed some things that weren’t true. And I hope you’ll all forgive me.”

“Of course we will,” said Lelani.

“Absolutely,” agreed Megan.

“Not so quick,” said Kendall. “I want to hear the rest of the story.”

So Anna explained about her mother’s cancer scare. Anna had been so terribly worried, which was why she’d moved home. “But it was only one reason,” she told them. And then she explained about how enraged she’d been with Lelani. “It was so undeserved, Lelani. I’m so sorry. It’s as if I was delusional or something.”

“You were worried about your mother,” Megan pointed out. “It impaired your rationale.”

“Maybe, but I can’t believe I actually thought Lelani was trying to steal Jake from me.” Anna shook her head. “Jake the Snake. Why would Lelani even want him? Just the same, I blamed her for the breakup. And then I got mad at Gil—I think I was mad at almost everyone—and mostly myself.” Anna looked at them with damp eyes. “It was like I was digging this deep dark hole in my parents’ house, and I couldn’t get out. I was so miserable.”

Lelani patted Anna’s arm. “I’m so sorry.”

“The whole while, I was making a slave of myself for my mother,” continued Anna. “I was so worried about her. And she could see I was miserable, but she wouldn’t even tell me the truth. She’d known almost from the start that there’d been a mix-up in lab reports.” Anna was crying now. “My mother’s health was perfectly fine, she was just taking advantage of me, holding me hostage, and the whole time I felt like I was dying.”

Soon they were all hugging. “It’s like every single part of my life was a mess.” Anna wiped her eyes. “I wanted to hold things together, but everything was falling completely apart.”

Megan patted her on the back. “I think we’ve all been there.”

“I’m so glad you came home!” cried Lelani as she hugged Anna again. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Does that mean you’re moving back in for good?” asked Kendall. She was eyeing Anna’s heap of luggage with what Megan thought was a hopeful expression.

“If it’s okay.”

“Hey, it’s better than okay,” said Kendall. “We all missed you.”

“My mom is furious,” said Anna. “Not that I care.”

“I was worried about the cancer scare too,” said Lelani quietly. “I’m so glad she’s okay.”

“Me too. But I’m still really mad. It’s like she had us all under her thumb because of her big, fat lies—her narcissistic need for attention.”

“Wow,” said Kendall, “that’s pretty extreme.”

Megan bit her tongue to prevent reminding Kendall about the time she had lied and disappeared and strung all her housemates along just for the sake of attention. After all, it was Christmas. Bygones should probably remain bygones.

Soon the other guests arrived. And while everyone was cordial and seemed to enjoy the food and drinks, it was a very strange mix of people. Mrs. Fowler and Lelani’s shoplifting friend, Frances, seemed to hit it off and were happily visiting over on the sectional. But Mr. Green seemed clearly uncomfortable with the small group and only stayed long enough to sample a few appetizers before he politely made an excuse to leave. It was barely seven thirty when the shuttle service picked up Kendall’s Nana and returned her to the nursing home, where Megan suspected that a much merrier celebration was taking place. Shortly after that, Mrs. Fowler offered Frances a ride in her taxi, and then it was only the four housemates and Gil.

“I feel like odd man out here,” said Gil. “Not that I mind being with you lovely women.”

“Quite the party, isn’t it?” Kendall set aside her eggnog and yawned. Megan was surprised that Kendall hadn’t imbibed more tonight. But she hadn’t really seemed much like her party-girl self lately. Maybe she was still grieving her lost romance. Or maybe she was starting to grow up.

Anna got up and tossed another log onto the fire, then sighed. “Maybe this party was a flop, but it’s good to be back just the same.”

Lelani nodded. “And good to have you back.”

“Anyway, I hate to be a party pooper,” continued Gil, “but I told the parents that I’d stop by before it got too late.”

“Well, it’s certainly not too late,” teased Megan.

“Give them my best,” said Anna firmly. “Because there’s no way I’m going home tonight or anytime soon.”

“That’s okay,” said Gil as he patted her on the head. “I think you’ve paid your dues, Sis.”

“And then some.” Anna refilled her eggnog glass and took a swig.

“Merry Christmas,” called out Megan as Gil got his coat. Lelani walked him to the door, then out to the porch. The rest of them stood around the dining room table as if unsure what to do next, with only the sound of Christmas music and the wood crackling on the fire.

“So that’s it, then,” said Kendall when Lelani rejoined them. “Our big, whopping Christmas party.”

“It was sweet,” said Lelani.

“Sweet for you, maybe,” said Kendall. “Since you’re the only one with a guy around.”

“You don’t need a guy around to have a good time,” argued Megan, even though she’d been missing Marcus just moments earlier. Despite her resolve not to, she was wondering why she’d broken it off with him. Was it because of what silly Gwen Phillips told her? Even Megan’s mother had questioned that advice.

“Right!” Kendall laughed sarcastically as she slapped Megan on the back. “And just look at you, Little Miss Sunshine, why you’re just the life of the party tonight.”

“That’s not why I’m feeling low,” said Megan.

“Then why?” demanded Kendall as she filled a glass of eggnog and handed it to Megan.

“Well, if you must know, there are several reasons,” began Megan. “For one thing, this is my first Christmas without my dad.” Megan paused as the impact of those words slammed into her. Still, she didn’t want to start crying. “And that’s—that’s not easy. My dad and I were close. I miss him.” Her housemates gathered around Megan, and she could feel their empathy as they nodded and patted her on the shoulder. So she decided to tell them everything, just spill the works. “And for another thing, I’m feeling slightly envious of my mom, who’s down in Mexico, and I guess I’m missing her too.” She started to cry now and her voice grew raspy. “And … I can hardly stand to admit this, but I’m missing Marcus too. And I-I’m thinking maybe I was stupid to break up with him—just because of something this dumb girl said to me.” Anna and Lelani looked at Kendall now, like it was her fault. “No one here,” said Megan quickly. “Just someone I shouldn’t have listened to. And now I’m feeling sad that I did.”

They all circled her in a group hug, and she felt loved and a little bit better. Anna handed her a reindeer napkin to blow her nose on.

“Okay, if we’re confessing what’s making us blue, I have some things to say too,” declared Anna.

“Go for it,” said Lelani.

“Yeah, you go, girl,” urged Kendall.

Anna refilled her eggnog glass and took a big sip as if it was going to strengthen her. “Well, as you all know, I’m fairly enraged at my mother, and that does not feel very nice—especially at Christmas when families are supposed to be together. Sure, I’m relieved she’s okay, but I can’t believe she tricked me like that. And then besides all that mess”—Anna took a deep breath—“I may be getting fired right after the holidays.”

“No way,” said Megan. She knew how seriously Anna took her job. Of the four of them, Anna was the only one with the sort of career that she’d actually planned.

“Seriously?” Kendall looked genuinely concerned too. Or maybe she was simply calculating the potential of lost rent money.

“Yes. I blew a really important project at work. So it’s possible there’ll be a pink slip for me early next week. I might have to move back home after all.” Tears were spilling down Anna’s cheeks now, and Megan handed her a Santa napkin.

“That’s really rough.” Megan placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder.

“But you know what the worst part is?” blurted Anna. “I mean the thing that has me the most bummed? It’s that I really do care about Edmond. He’s the greatest guy. And I-I’m the one who dumped him—I let Edmond go for—for Jake the Snake!” Her voice cracked. “Oh, how could I have been so stupid?”

Now they all gathered around Anna as she sobbed, assuring her that it was going to be okay. “Edmond is crazy about you,” said Lelani. “We’ve all seen it in his eyes.”

“And even if you lose your job,” said Megan, “I’m sure you’ll find something else that’s even better. You’re so smart, Anna.”

Anna attempted a shaky smile as she blotted her tears with the napkin. “Thanks, you guys. I’m so glad I have friends.”

“Okay,” said Kendall loudly. “It’s my turn to spill my guts and, trust me, you guys better brace yourselves.”

They all turned to look at Kendall, and Megan figured that she was about to go into drama queen mode, crying about how heartbroken she was over Matthew Harmon not leaving his wife for her—yada yada blah blah blah. In fact, that’s how Kendall started, saying she’d done all she could, but it just didn’t work. But then she started to cry, sobbing really loudly like she’d just had her leg amputated or something.

Lelani was the only one showing much mercy. She put a hand on Kendall’s shoulder and nodded. “Yeah, that’s hard,” she said quietly.

“But that’s not the worst part—not the worst thing,” Kendall burst out. “The worst thing is that I think I’m pregnant.”

Everyone got very quiet. The only sounds came from the fire, the Christmas music, and Kendall’s choking sobs. They were gathered around Kendall with wide, concerned eyes, but no one spoke. Megan couldn’t think of a single thing to say. What could she possibly say that would make Kendall feel better?

“Are you sure?” Lelani finally said quietly.

“I haven’t taken a test. But my period is always on time and this time it’s late, very late. And my body feels different. I mean my boobs are sore and I have to pee all the time. And all I want to do is sleep. Okay, that’s not so different. But the smell of coffee—it makes me want to hurl.”

“Oh, man,” said Lelani. “That sounds like the real deal to me.”

Anna handed Kendall several napkins, then just shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

Kendall broke into fresh sobs now, and they gathered around her in another group hug. As Megan patted Kendall’s back, she couldn’t help but remember how Kendall had complained so bitterly about kids not long ago. Megan remembered how Kendall had sworn she’d never have children—and now this?

“It’s going to be okay,” said Anna in a voice that sounded more confident than her expression. “We’re your friends, Kendall. We’ll help you.”

“And you’ll get through this,” Lelani assured her. “I know it seems scary right now, but you’ll get through it.”

“How?” demanded Kendall with red-rimmed eyes and smudged mascara. “How can you possibly know that?”

Lelani cleared her throat. “Because … I’ve been through it myself.”

“Okay. I need to sit down!” Anna shook her head, then headed toward the living room. “This is making my head spin and I don’t think it has to do with the eggnog, which I’m pretty sure Kendall spiked.”

Megan followed her, and soon they were all sitting around the sectional, including Tinkerbell, who had hopped onto Kendall’s lap and snuggled down into a small white fluff ball. And they were all looking at Lelani.

“I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell you guys,” she began slowly. “But it’s not exactly easy …” For the next several minutes, Lelani poured out an incredible story of how she’d been involved with a doctor and how he’d pretended to be single but wasn’t. She became pregnant, and he wanted nothing to do with her. It all made no sense and yet it made perfect sense. All the mystery surrounding Lelani, her unexplainable sadness, her quitting med school and working at a low-level job at Nordstrom.… Suddenly Megan got it—Lelani had been running from her life.

“Does Gil know about this?” demanded Anna. Her dark eyes flashed with fiery anger again, and Megan was worried they were about to go straight back to where they’d just come from.

Lelani nodded somberly. “I’ve told him everything.”

Anna seemed to soften a bit now. “Is that why you guys were shopping for baby things?”

Lelani looked puzzled. “How did you know that?”

“My mother found out from a friend who happens to be our cousin Brad’s mother-in-law.” Anna shook her head. “That’s how our family works, Lelani, and if you’re serious about Gil you better get used to it.” Then Anna slapped her forehead. “Oh, mama mia! Wait until my mother hears about this! She was freaking over the possibility that you and Gil were expecting—”

“Gil and me?” Lelani looked shocked.

“I’m sure Gil will explain it all later.”

“But your baby, Lelani,” persisted Kendall. “Where is it?”

“My baby’s in Maui with my parents. She’s seven months old now,” Lelani spoke calmly, as if calculating every word. “Her name is Emma. I haven’t seen her since she was a couple of weeks old. And I’m afraid my mother is going to be so attached to her that I’ll never get her back.”

“You want her back?” Kendall’s brow creased.

Lelani pressed her hands to her flushed cheeks. “I don’t know what I want. Sometimes I think I do. I think I want her and that I want to be a mother. And then I ask myself, What can I give her? And then I don’t know.” Lelani shook her head as silent tears streaked down her cheeks. “I just don’t know.”

Now they all gathered around Lelani on the sectional, wrapping their arms around her. Most of them were crying too. Megan couldn’t remember a stranger Christmas, and yet something about it was very sweet too. Bittersweet.

The group hug slowly evaporated, and they all sat around the sectional wiping their eyes and blowing their noses. Then Kendall got up and marched into the dining room as if on a mission. When she returned to the living room, she was holding the platter of untouched fruitcake that she had sliced and liberally doused with brandy.

“Be careful with that thing,” warned Megan. “If you get it too close to the candle flames we’ll probably all go up in smoke.”

“Man, are we a mess or what?” Kendall sat down and passed her strange offering to the three of them. “But when all else fails, we can always get snookered on fruitcake!”

“Not you,” warned Lelani as she took the platter from Kendall.

“That’s right,” agreed Anna as she took a dark slice and gingerly sniffed it.

“Yeah,” said Megan, “we’re cutting you off.”

“Fine!” Kendall held up her hands dramatically. “Like I said, let them eat fruitcake!”