Roan had already come into the closet three times to tell me I was running late, but Almya and I were still arguing over clothes. I told her I’d rather go naked to the meeting than wear one of the “appropriate” dresses that she’d picked out for me to wear. She didn’t seem to understand that I didn’t care if there were pants under the skirt or pockets for weapons or pants that were so loose that they looked enough like a skirt to make it virtually a dress. Even if I could fight in the dress, it was still a dress.
Almya was getting emotional and insulted, and at first, I cared about her feelings, but now I didn’t.
“Almya. I’m not wearing—”
A throat cleared, and I didn’t even turn around. “Roan. Best friend or not, I’m going to murder you if you keep coming in here.”
“Not Roan.”
I glanced over my shoulder. Lorne.
He was leaning against the edge of the door, watching me with his aquamarine gaze that seemed to see through me. My heart picked up, and I could feel myself giving him a stupid grin, but I couldn’t stop it. “Hey.”
“Hi.” His gaze ran down my body and slowly back up, heating every inch of me. “As fashion-forward as I usually am, I think it’s probably best if you find something else for the meeting. Quickly.”
I turned back to Almya, who was still smiling—although now it looked too forced—and holding out two dresses for me to choose from.
She held one out a little farther, giving it a little shake. “This one would look lovely on you, and it’s perfect for the—”
I shook my head. “If you would just listen to me—”
“Amihanna. My love,” Lorne said softly. “I’ve been standing here for a moment, and I heard more than enough about what’s going on. The thing to remember—”
“Is that I hate dresses,” I said to Almya, hoping that she would listen. “Hate. Dresses.”
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
I turned to him, annoyed and struggling to remember that I wasn’t annoyed at him. “What?”
“The thing to remember is that you are the future queen. Not Almya.” He gave her a short, pitying glance before focusing on me again. “You decide what you do, what you say, what you wear.” He slowly walked toward me as he spoke. “So, put something on already.” He brushed a quick kiss on my lips.
It was nice. I wanted more. And—
Lorne tapped my nose. “Because the food is getting cold, and I think Roan might be having a panic attack about being late.”
Roan? Shit. It was his first day, and I was going to make him—make us—look bad. I should—
Wait. Did he say food?
My stomach grumbled, but I was pretty sure only I could hear it. Especially since Almya was sputtering.
Lorne straightened and looked at Almya. “I know you’re new and haven’t had any training, but if you succeed at your job that means Amihanna is happy and confident when she’s still learning a new and extremely demanding job of her own. The right clothes will help her have the confidence she needs to face her day. So, a tip, if you’ll accept it?” Lorne said.
Almya lowered her hands, and the dressed dragged on the floor. She bowed her head. “Yes, of course, your majesty. I’d appreciate any tips.”
He grinned, and it was his kind one. The one that made me melt just a little. He seemed to catch me mid-melt and ran a finger down my cheek before drawing me against his side. My skin was glowing, but this time I didn’t care. It was just him and me here.
And Almya. He made me forget that anyone else was here with us.
Lorne gave me a wink that told me he knew exactly what he’d done, and then he focused on Almya again. “Your job isn’t to put her in whatever anyone else thinks she should wear or what you think is appropriate or even what you prefer. It’s not about you. It’s about her. What would Amihanna feel most comfortable in? What would suit her and the situation? Those are questions you’ll need to answer, but remember that she comes first. Okay?”
I came first?
I wasn’t used to that. I was used to doing whatever I needed to survive. My needs were so much more basic. Food. Shelter. Safety. Now, I was thinking about fashion, and it was so easy to blow it off because it wasn’t important. I didn’t need to camouflage myself in enemy territory. Chances were that I wouldn’t even have to fight in whatever I was going to wear, so I didn’t have to think so practically about it either. I should just be thankful for clean clothes, let alone a closet filled with what had to be expensive pieces.
Even knowing that, I didn’t want to wear a dress.
Almya chewed on her lip for a moment before standing tall again, meeting Lorne’s gaze. “That is an important distinction, your majesty. I see now…I see how I’ve gone wrong.” She turned to me, and now her smile wasn’t as fake. Instead, it was smaller, calmer, and filled with an understanding I didn’t see in her before. “I apologize. These dresses are similar to what some of the other High Council members wear to the meetings. I researched all night. I wanted to do a good job, but…” She glanced down at the dresses still in her hands.
Oh man. Now I felt like a real jerk. “You’re doing fine. It’s just… I just…” I’d said I didn’t want to wear a dress so many times now that I couldn’t make myself say it again.
“You can’t even lie to me about it.” She grinned and shook her head. “No, I wasn’t doing a good job or even a fine one.” She took a deep breath, and it wasn’t a sigh of distress but relief when she breathed out. “But I will learn. I was trying to abide by tradition and rules, but you…you’re a rebel. I haven’t seen much of you. I saw you fierce and fighting on that ship and in the halls, but I don’t know you. It’s hard for me to dress someone when I don’t know them, but I’m starting to see you.” Her skin started to light up for the first time since I saw her, and the fao’ana appeared. “You should stand out. You should lean into the different because you’re not hiding anymore.”
She dropped the dresses on the floor and bowed deeper, fist to her chest. “Thank you, your majesty. I know what to do now. I’ll have her ready straightaway.”
“Good,” Lorne said. “It’s a treat to have the help of someone truly meant for the job.”
Lorne had given her a talking-to and then left her with a sweet compliment. This is why he’d be such a good High King. He was so good it awed me sometimes.
“I’ll leave you to helping Amihanna.”
He brushed a way-too-quick kiss on my lips. “I’ll be in our rooms.”
As soon as Lorne was gone, Almya waved a hand in front of her face as if to cool herself off. “Is he always that intense?”
I couldn’t help the laugh. “Yes. Pretty much.”
“All right then.” She turned back to the clothes. “What would she want to wear? What would she want to wear? What would…” She muttered to herself over and over as she moved through the racks of clothes.
When she came back, she had a pair of black pants, a pair of short-heeled booties in a dark cream color, and a flowing bright blue blouse, nearly the shade of Lorne’s eyes, with long sleeves. The Aunare women didn’t usually wear long sleeves to anything official, so I was confused for a second, but then I saw that the sleeves had long slits in them from shoulder to wrist. Only a small piece held them together at the elbow and then tied together at the wrist.
“Better. Much better.”
Almya bowed her head as she handed over the clothes. “I’m sorry about before. His majesty was right. I was making your clothes about me, what I wanted you to wear, what I thought was appropriate, when my job is to help you look your best in something you’re happy with.”
I raised a brow. “So, no more dresses?”
She grinned. “No. No more dresses, unless you request it.” Her tone had threads of hope woven through it.
I almost felt bad for killing that hope, but I needed to cut it or face having to disappoint her over and over. “Not happening.”
For a second, I was worried she was going to stay while I changed. Thankfully, she gave me a bow and then left the room.
But then, when I finished dressing and went back into the bathroom, she was there, waiting to do my hair and makeup.
Oh boy. I was used to doing everything for myself, and now I couldn’t go into the kitchens, couldn’t pick my own clothes, and she was going to do my hair.
What the hell had I gotten myself into?
An hour later, I was both ready and extremely late.
I stepped into the living room of our suite and saw Lorne sitting on the couch with his feet propped on the massive leather ottoman, watching multiple news feeds in Aunare. More than one of them had a picture of me. I literally hadn’t gone anywhere today, so I had no idea why I’d be such a hot topic. But Lorne’s frequency was getting louder, more high pitched. It hadn’t taken me long to figure what that sound meant.
Lorne was mad.
He was really, really mad.
The smooth, sibilant language and Lorne’s anger pulled me closer to him.
I sat next to him, shoulders nearly touching, watching the screen. “What are they saying?”
Lorne was quiet for a second, and I could feel him struggling to settle down. He gave up after a second. “They still don’t like you.”
“Okay.” They didn’t have to like me.
“It’s not okay.” The words had more heat than I’d thought. Usually, when he was this mad, he’d be pacing and moving and unable to sit still.
It felt more dangerous that he was still right now, and I wasn’t sure why or what it meant. The news looked like more of the same. So why was today different?
“I’m not offended by anything they say. It’s frustrating and usually untrue, but I’m not mad.” I hoped that was the right thing to say, but even if it wasn’t, it was the truth. “Those reporters? They don’t know me. Not really. So, what does it matter?”
“It matters that the press is now free to say what they want, and they’re choosing to say this.”
“Pause all media,” I said, and the vid screens stopped. I needed Lorne’s full attention, so I stood and tapped his legs. He dropped his feet off of the ottoman so that I could fully stand in front of him.
“Why does it matter?” I waved behind me. “Why are you so mad about it today?”
“Because.” The word was bitten and angry.
That wasn’t an answer. “Because why?”
“Because it’s a lie. And it’s not just a harmless lie. This is a big one that’s hurting our ability to rally our people for the war.” He tugged his hands through his chin-length dark hair, which should’ve looked bad, but instead, it looked better messy. The neat and brushed look was nice, but his frustrated hair always made me smile.
But I couldn’t smile. Not when he was so mad. “Okay. So, we’ll fix it.”
“How? You risked your life days ago to save me, to save this city, and they’re still saying this stuff? I don’t understand how they can’t see the truth even when it’s right there.”
Okay. They’d been saying the same thing for days, which meant that something happened and he needed to tell me. “Why today? Why are you so mad right now?” I forced my voice to stay calm, hoping that it would balance him out a little. “What’s going on?”
“My morning meeting was… not great. Worse than that, but the details aren’t important. The important thing is that my call this morning made me realize that we have no hope of getting our allies to join our fight if we can’t even get our own people behind us. I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out how to make them see, but I can’t find a way.”
He leaned forward, tugging on my hand until I sat next to him. “I think they’re mad that you haven’t given an interview yet,” Lorne said. “They’re thankful and polite about you saving the city in one breath, but with the next, they’re questioning the viability of you as my queen. They wonder if you’d be a better consort.”
“Consort?” Did that mean what I thought it meant? Because that wasn’t any of their business.
“Meaning you’d just be my lover and not rule with me.”
“Oh.” That was exactly what I thought it was. “Do you want me to be your consort?” Would I be okay if that’s what he really did want? I wasn’t sure.
“No. If that’s what I wanted, I wouldn’t have asked you to rule with me. And I did. Repeatedly.”
“Okay.” That was good. That was much better. I’d been worried, but I didn’t need to be. Not with him.
I turned my hand in his, threading our fingers together, and then looked up at Lorne. “So, who cares what they say? They’re the media, but you’re the High King.”
“Because we need the full backing of the Aunare kings who rule our colonies and the people who hold sway over them. The other kings rule smaller populations, and they’re more inclined to go along with their people’s majority. They don’t vote, but they hold… sway. That’s the best word I can find in Earther English.”
“How many kings are there?”
“Nine.”
“But you’re the High King?” I’d thought High King was a term of respect, but as usual, I was out of my depth in all things Aunare.
“Yes. My rule supersedes theirs, but again, sway comes into play. It’s more than sway, though. It’s not the right word at all. It’s less than a vote but more than… I don’t know.” He let go of my hand to tug at his hair again.
He was getting frustrated, and I didn’t want that. “Okay. So, what now?”
“They need to like you.” He pointed to the paused vid screen. “They need to be able to see you as a leader. They need to know who you are.”
I could do that. Probably. “Wasn’t I supposed to give an interview?”
“Yes.” He was a fraction of a frequency calmer, which meant I was helping. I just had to keep doing what I was doing. He looked at me. “It’s being arranged. We’re in negotiations on the questions.”
Then why was this a big deal? “So, I’ll do the interview soon, and everything will be okay.”
“It feels as if we’ve already done enough to have the people’s backing, but they still question you. You’re gaining some in the polls, but you don’t have a majority. Not even close. I don’t know that an interview will make a difference. It seems like we’ll need something more, but…” he took a breath. “I don’t need the High Council to back me if I declare war.” His voice was calmer now. “I only have to give the order. But the kings on the nine colonies can refuse to acknowledge it. They can rebuke my order.”
“Why would they do that?” I didn’t understand why any Aunare wouldn’t want to destroy SpaceTech for what they’d done, but for another of the kings to get in Lorne’s way? It just felt insane.
“My father put other kings in power that are more like him than not. He didn’t want anyone forcing his hand.”
I didn’t know why that surprised me, but it really, truly did. Of course a weak High King would pick weaker kings. “Can you replace them?”
“Not quick enough to help us. There’s a process, but it’s lengthy.”
“So they might act like him?”
“They might. Some of them won’t, but a few… They need a majority to rebuke my order. No one king can do it.”
“So, in this interview, I need to win everyone over somehow.” It was a tall order, but I would do my best to figure out how to say everything that needed to be said.
“Yes.”
“And you’re worried that I won’t?”
“I…” He winced. “Yes, but it’s not about answering questions the right way.” His words were rushed. Each one nearly on top of the next. “I’m just not sure what an interview will do when seeing you fight in the hallways, or saving me in the concert hall, or blowing up ships in the sky didn’t make a dent.”
But it had made a dent. It had. I knew it because I saw the news after that. So, something changed. Something about my past made them worried about me, except Lorne was too angry—and too worried about the war—to see through all the emotions and figure out what set them off.
If it wasn’t one thing that set them off, then maybe it was a plot to keep me from ruling? Maybe some of Lorne’s father’s friends were acting against me?
Or maybe it wasn’t as easy as either of those things. Maybe it was a combination of little things. Maybe they just didn’t know me well enough to understand how I’d be as a ruler whose only promise to them was war.
Shit. It was probably the last option, which would be the hardest to fix.
Which meant I needed to figure out a way to make them understand not just me but everything at stake.
But I had no idea how.
Lorne wiped a hand down his face, and I knew he was going to try to change the subject.
“I’ll take care of this,” I said before I could think it through.
“What?”
“I’ll make them understand who I am.” I wasn’t going to like it, and it wasn’t going to be fun, but this was something I could do. Probably. “I’ll talk to Roan about getting the interview moved up. Whatever negotiations he and Fynea are doing, I’ll figure it out. If I need the kings to see me—if I need the Aunare people to understand me—then I can do that.”
“I don’t know how you can do more than you’ve already done. I don’t know what you’ve left unsaid that could change how they feel about you. It’s all there for people to watch.”
He meant the footage from the attack in Ta’shena. From the attack in the estate. From their arena. From Abaddon. From the attack in the diner. They’d seen it all.
But they wanted more.
Lorne was right. I wasn’t sure what else I could do or say to show them who I was, but I’d come up with something.
I liked to live in the shadows. It was where I felt comfortable. It was how I’d survived. But it’s not what I needed now. I could figure this out.
I grabbed Lorne’s hand. “I’m on it. Trust me.”
A line formed between Lorne’s brows, and I knew he didn’t trust me. He didn’t know what I was going to do, which was fair. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do either. But I’d figure it out. Just like I figured out everything else. That’s all he needed to know.
I tugged his hand and started moving toward the door. “We have a meeting to get to, and we’re already late.” I hadn’t gotten to eat, but I’d gone hungry before. I’d eat later.
Lorne stopped walking with me. Instead, he tugged my hand, harder than I’d tugged his. Hard enough to have me stumbling against him.
He brushed his lips against mine once. Twice. And then, the third time, he dove in. Until the room was spinning and I was out of breath and I’d forgotten everything except for the feel of him against me.
“Thank you,” he said softly as he pulled away.
“What?” For the kiss? That was my pleasure, but he’d started it.
He poked a finger through my hair, putting a pin back in place. “For being you. For doing this with me. When I finally had this job, I thought that I’d be doing it alone, but it’s better with you. It’ll be so much better with you.” He closed his eyes for a second, but when he opened them, I could nearly see his heart in them. “Thank you for accepting this job. I’m so sorry for what they’re going to put you through, but everyone will be better with your help. Everything will work out.” He said it with so much faith and power, and I wished I felt the same way.
I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I’d accepted my place. I wasn’t sure what that meant or what I was supposed to be doing, but I’d figure it out.
I’d figure it out because failing Lorne wasn’t an option.