The busy Ra’mi market faded from my awareness, and I was grateful that I was sitting across the table from Amihanna, watching her relax. More and more vendors brought their offerings to us, and it was rude to turn them down. Which meant we’d both eaten too much food. Still, it was nice to make Amihanna try new things.
A few chefs brought things to us I knew she wouldn’t like—Aunare delicacies that I didn’t even like—and I let her try them just to keep her on her toes. Although nothing as bad as nic’natarani. It was a game we used to play. One that clearly Rysden remembered, with good reason. We’d embarrassed him more than a few times at important dinners, but to be fair, important usually meant boring. If no one entertained us, Amihanna and I often found ways to entertain ourselves, which tended to end with us in trouble.
But playing the game today meant I had to try to eat some of the ones I didn’t care for when normally I’d just move the food around in the basket a little to make it look like I’d eaten enough not to insult the chef. Teasing her was too much fun, especially today when she was trying to pretend that she liked everything she tried. But it was so plain to see what she didn’t enjoy.
Somewhere along the way, Amihanna’s shoulders had lost their stiffness, she smiled more, and leaned toward me as she spoke. Having a normal night together filled my heart with the peace and contentment that I had been missing for thirteen years. And even though we were playing the same game as we used to and having fun, it wasn’t even the same as when we were younger.
Tonight was infinitely better.
Even as I was feeling that peace of being with her, I knew it was temporary. It was like paper-thin crystal. One hard breath and it would shatter.
The people needed to accept Amihanna. I knew she wanted to try to make that happen, but I wasn’t sure it was possible. I needed her to be ready to argue with the allies, but she wasn’t. She was still getting used to everything here, and I knew she needed time. For everything.
I knew Fynea, Lorne’s good friend and head assistant, and Roan were busy trying to arrange the interview with Himani, but it was taking too long. That’s why we were here. I always wanted time with her, but I also wanted to get her out there in front of the people. I wanted them to love Amihanna as much as I did, and even as I thought that, an image on the vid screen across the way caught my eye.
They’d moved on from the report about SpaceTech to Amihanna. Her face on the screen was what caught my attention. I was too far from the screen to hear what they were saying, but I could read the flowing gold script.
Goddess take it. I freed the media. I let them be honest, and I thought that meant that they’d report about her truthfully.
But now they were saying she was too busy having fun with me to rule. That she’d failed in her first High Council meeting, and that now she was out with me at the market instead of figuring out how to fix her mistakes.
They had no idea what they were speaking about. No idea. Had they forgotten that the High Council actually held no power? If she never showed her face to them again, it wouldn’t matter. But she had to because she could hone her skills to rule with them. She could make mistakes with them. Mistakes she couldn’t afford with our allies.
“What are you thinking?” Amihanna’s question snapped me back into the present.
“Hmm?”
Amihanna waved a fork in my direction. “I can feel you getting angrier and more worried by the second. If you don’t cut it out, you’re going to be glowing brighter than the floor in this place in about ten and three-quarter seconds.”
I couldn’t tell her the truth—that the news was lying about her again. I wasn’t ruining this evening by talking about the things we were both already worried about. I wanted a break from all of that, and I knew she wanted one, too. So, I brushed the fear and anger and worry away until I was sure she couldn’t sense it anymore. And then I shoved it a little farther.
She took another bite and chewed slowly. “Avoidance,” she said finally. “I like that. Not healthy, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let me get away with it, but I get it. I’ll allow it.”
She’d allow it? I wanted to laugh, but then she might try to get me to change my mind. I wasn’t going to budge on this. Not tonight. Tonight, we were getting that break.
I leaned forward, resting my forearms on the table. “So, what do you think?”
“Of?”
I straightened. “This.” I motioned around us.
She tilted back a little so that she could see the floor and the lower levels of the market through the light. “I think that it’s a very good thing Roan isn’t here tonight. He would absolutely hate this market.”
“Really?” The market was amazing. I honestly couldn’t think of any reason why he’d hate it, and I thought I knew Roan pretty well. Food, drinks, plenty of women to flirt with. What more could he want? “Why exactly would he hate it?” I wasn’t insulted. Just curious.
She sat straight again. “To be fair, most humans would hate this place. A lot of them have this thing with heights.” She took a sip of water.
Oh. Right. I’d forgotten. Declan—the man I called my Earther brother—used to be afraid, but we’d grown up together since our tenth year. Due to a ridiculous treaty our fathers made, we split our time on Earth for six-months, followed by six-months on Sel’Ani. Declan had been keeping up with me for so long that he’d pretty much conquered his fear of heights.
“Heights don’t bother you?” I asked her. Sometimes I wondered how many Aunare tendencies she’d lost with her memories.
She made a face like I’d said something absurd. “No. Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t be so obsessed with the climbing wall.”
Right. That made me feel better. I would’ve hated it if she’d been afraid this whole time. I felt like I would’ve known if she had been, but I needed to know for sure.
“But yeah, I don’t mind heights, and I seriously love this place. Although, it is kind of crazy how you can see all the way down to the ground.”
“There’s definitely nothing else quite like it, but I’m extremely biased. This is a market in my capital city.”
“Right.” Amihanna pushed the baskets down the table. “Well, I’m full. And if I sit here any longer, I’m going to barf. I can’t look at any more food, let alone eat it. So, what’s next?”
There was so much to show her that I wasn’t sure where to start. “This is the food level, clearly. The rest have some specialty foods but mostly for eating later. Pantry items and such. Other than that, there’s clothes, household items, and tech mixed together. This dining plaza is the only level that’s just one thing.”
“So we wander?”
“Unless there’s something you wanted in particular? I know it pretty well. I’m sure I can find you anything you’re looking for.”
She thought for a second. “No. I’m not really looking for anything. I mean, I have more right now than I’ve ever had before. What more could I possibly need?”
She hadn’t meant to cut me with that, but it stung all the same. I wanted to forget what she’d been through the last thirteen years, but I couldn’t. I’d never forget. And yet, it still snuck up on me sometimes.
What she had now was more than she’d ever had before? I knew she wouldn’t have said it if it weren’t true, but it was upsetting and unsettling and made my heart ache for her. She didn’t have anything besides clothes, a tablet, and her go-bags stashed around the estate. That wasn’t a lot of things. She could have so much more. She could have anything she wanted.
I wanted to press her for more information. I needed to know more.
What was it really like there on Earth?
How did she get through Liberation Week?
Where did she go? Where did she work? Did she go to school? What happened if she got sick? Where did she live before she was arrested? I knew it was an apartment in Albuquerque, but I didn’t know what it was like. Did she have enough clothes? Food? A bed to sleep in?
I wasn’t a complete idiot. I knew wherever she lived, it probably wasn’t nice, but it was hard for me to picture her life on Earth. I didn’t know much about those thirteen years other than it was hard. I knew bits and pieces from her nightmares—things she screamed in her sleep or explanations about what she’d been dreaming about—but it wasn’t enough to make out a whole picture.
I shoved all of those questions burning inside of me far, far away. I knew eventually I would cave and ask for more details, but not tonight. Not when it might upset her. Not when she might have nightmares or flashbacks because I’d been stupid enough to ask for more than she was ready to give.
Amihanna was in a good spot right now, and I wouldn’t let my thirst to know everything hurt her.
So, instead, I asked her something else. “Would you like to explore the other levels of the market?”
“Yeah. Actually, that sounds pretty nice,” she said, not noticing that I was still barely breathing through the searing, stabbing pain her words had left inside my soul.
I cleared my throat. “We can wander.” I walked around the table, and reached a hand out. She took it, and the burn started to ease a little.
But only because I vowed to myself that if she saw something she liked, we were buying it. No arguing allowed.
Amihanna stood still, glancing around the market nervously, and tried to pull her hand free.
“What is it? Do you see something?”
She was very good at spotting undercover SpaceTech operatives. She’d found some from footage of this market in particular, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel completely at ease here again.
I glanced around, trying to see what was worrying her, but I’d bet my life that aside from a few easily spotted foreigners, everyone here was Aunare.
“Don’t you need to pay all these people?”
Oh. Well, damn. That wasn’t what I was expecting. I gripped her hand tighter. “I love that you’re worried about them.”
“Well, the food cost them money to get, and then time to prepare it. The basket. The cup. The fork. It all cost them something, and—”
I grinned at her.
“What? This isn’t funny.” She tried to shove me, but it was a pitiful move. “I’m being serious right now.”
“I know.” And I loved that. I tried to get rid of my grin and failed. “I know you’re serious and that this is a serious topic. I don’t take money around Sel’Ani because everyone knows who I am. They know to send a payment request to Fynea—who tracks where I go—and she immediately sends payment, usually more than requested, unless they ask for the cost of goods to be taken from their taxes. In which case, we honor their request and a note is made on their accounts. That’s why everyone was rushing to bring us more and more food.”
“Oh.” She looked almost disappointed. “I thought they were doing it because you were their king.”
“Sure. That, too. But they’ll be reimbursed and then some. Does that take away any guilt you’re feeling now?”
She let out a breath. “Yes. It really does.” The tension that had come on so suddenly faded away, and she finally stepped away from the table. “Where to next?”
“One of the lower floors? We could work our way back up to the ship, and see if anything catches your eye along the way.”
“Sure.”
As we walked, the guards moved to keep us covered. I’d always felt safe in Ta’shena, and I wasn’t going to let one attack keep me from doing what I wanted in my own city. I usually wouldn’t have brought so many guards—usually just Ashino and one or two others—but now I was High King. More importantly, at least in my mind, Amihanna was with me.
I wasn’t risking her again. SpaceTech had gotten too close to taking her away from me again, and I wasn’t going to give them another chance.
There was no way I’d ever tell her that. There was no reason for me to intentionally make her that annoyed with me.
I know what she’d say. That she could defend herself and had done so for a long time without me. That we’d found so many hidden operatives and she would spot any others before I could. But that still left too much room for disaster.
I didn’t know if we’d found all of SpaceTech’s operatives on Sel’Ani. There was no way we could ever really know if we got them all. Not until it was too late. So, I assumed that there were a lot more just waiting for their shot to take her down. Because the reality was that there were very likely more in Ta’shena. Probably more here in this very market. Maybe even in this market watching us right now.
A tiny thread of fear started to weave its way through my soul and I cut it before Amihanna could sense anything. And still, I kept my eyes open, searching for the tells that Amihanna had taught me.
“Are you okay?” she asked again.
“Yes.”
She glanced at the vid screens quickly, and then went back to it and stared. “Oh. I bet they’re saying awful things about me. That’s why you’re upset?”
“Yes.” That was part of the reason anyway.
“I’m probably causing all kinds of problems for you.”
“No.” No, she wasn’t. She wasn’t a problem. Amihanna was a gift.
“I know that they hate me. Or at least they don’t like me much or trust me or believe that I should rule with you. I’m not sure how to change that. I know I made a promise—”
“Amihanna. It’s not you alone that has to change their perception of you. It’s—”
“No. I’m going to figure it out.” She had that impossibly stubborn tone now, and I knew it’d do no good to argue with her. “I know there’s a solution. I’m just not sure what.”
This was something I’d let her take responsibility for because she wanted it. Not because of a promise or that I even needed that from her, but because she’d wanted to do something as a ruler. It was the first time she’d wanted to take part, and I don’t think she even realized it.
So, I was letting her go with it, but I wasn’t sure if this was something that could be easily accomplished. It certainly wasn’t going to happen overnight. I hoped she wouldn’t stress or get frustrated, but I’d watch her and help as much as she’d let me.
For now, she needed a distraction. This was a date, and she was going to have fun. It was my mission.
I tugged on her hand, pulling her away from the vid screens. “Tonight might help, but I think they just need to get used to seeing you—to seeing us. They need to see you as a queen, to understand you, to get to know you. They don’t understand who you are, and you’re such an unknown. No one knows anything about you or what you experienced or how you lived while you were on Earth. And since they don’t know that, they can’t understand who you are now. Unknowns can be scary. So, I think that’s mostly what this is.”
I saw a look cross her face for a second before she shut it down, and I wasn’t sure what it meant.
“What is it?”
She blinked a few times and I knew she was about to lie. It’s what she did when she was little, but she never lied to me. It was always a look she gave her parents.
It was in that moment that I knew she was hiding something from me. I wanted to call her on it, but I was keeping something from her, too. So, it felt like I shouldn’t push, unless I was going to tell her the truth about what was happening with our allies.
And I couldn’t do that. She’d already been adjusting too much. It wasn’t fair to pile something else on top.
So, I kept my questions to myself again and led her through the market.
Tonight would be nice. We would have fun, and I was going to forget about the media and just enjoy her company because I never thought I’d ever get the chance to see her again, let alone be lucky enough have a real date with her. If they couldn’t see what an amazing ruler she’d be—if she hadn’t proven it yet—I wasn’t sure how to make them see.
I needed to be patient. I would work on that, but it was hard when I wanted so much.
I wanted the Aunare to accept her as their ruler.
I wanted our allies to join our side against SpaceTech.
I wanted her to already be my wife and queen, but that wouldn’t happen for a little bit. The people needed time, and if I was being honest, so did Amihanna.
And for Amihanna, I would do anything. I could wait forever for her.
She was here, by my side, walking with me through one of my favorite places on my home planet, and that was enough.
By the Goddess, that was more than enough.