We reached the gym before Himani could ask any more questions, which was good. I needed a break as much as he did. Especially after Lorne’s freak-out.
I pushed through the gym doors and already felt more at ease. Gyms had always been my home away from home, and this one was by far the best I’d ever used.
I wanted to change clothes, but now that Himani and his crew were following me, I didn’t exactly have time for that. The pants Almya had put me in were actually really stretchy. I could train in them no problem, but I hoped the blouse held up. It was basically a halter tank. I was pretty sure it’d stay where it was supposed to—the built-in support halter bra was tight enough to keep me covered—but I wasn’t sure if I’d end up ripping the outer, more silky shell.
Oh well. I guessed if I ripped it, Almya would just have to fix it.
I motioned to the benches. “You and your crew can have a seat,” I said to Himani. “As I said before, you’re welcome to stay, film, and ask questions when I have a break.” He started to speak, and I held up a finger. “I may or may not answer them, but you can always ask. Mostly, I hope you’ll watch, listen, and learn what I am, who I am, and what I’m doing to play my part in the war against SpaceTech. Roan will stay with you to approve all the footage you keep.”
I knew Himani already had a question for me, but I needed more time. I kept walking past the stands that were nearly full with Aunare. The first few mornings that Lorne and I trained in here, we didn’t have any visitors watching, but slowly over the last few days, as everyone on the estate started to learn our schedule, more and more people showed up.
Now, it seemed that whenever I was in here, the stands were full, but it didn’t bother me, at least not very much. As long as Lorne was here, I was okay. Everything else faded a little.
But in the afternoons, there were times that I made Eshrin ask people to leave. Sometimes I just wanted to let go and not worry about what people would think.
Today, I was going to have a crowd, and that was okay. At least I wasn’t on a live feed anymore.
The magical gym floor softened as I sat down to stretch. I loved this gym so much, but the floor was my second love—Lorne was my first love. It gave me the confidence to try out new moves and push myself harder than I’ve ever pushed myself before. It was next level frost.
Lorne sat heavily on the floor next to me, but instead of stretching, he just stared at me.
This wasn’t good. I looked around for the cameras, but they were hanging back by Himani. I didn’t think they were close enough to get any of our actual words if they couldn’t see my lips. I bent over one leg. “Are you okay?”
“No.” Lorne moved to sit in front of me, putting his back to the cameras. “That didn’t go as I thought it would,” he said softly. “I’m sorry I got so upset after.”
“I’m sorry I took you by surprise.”
He shrugged.
“Are you mad?” He didn’t seem mad. His skin wasn’t flickering anymore, and I couldn’t feel any shifts in his frequency, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t upset with me. He was much more experienced in shielding his frequencies and moods.
I spun my engagement ring around my finger with my thumb as I straightened. He wasn’t angry enough to ask for it back. I was sure of that much.
“No, but I feel like I owe you an apology.”
He owed me an apology after what I’d just pulled? “Why?”
“I just…” He took a long slow breath. Six. Then out three.
If he was still this out of control, then I knew I’d really hurt him. It was tearing me apart to see him like this and to know it was my fault. I wasn’t sure how to make it up to him. “Lorne—”
“The footage upset me.”
He would’ve had to be missing his soul for what I’d shown not to upset him. “I can tell. Is there anything you want to talk to me about specifically? Maybe if we talk about it, you’ll feel better.” I needed more information about what was really setting him off the most if I was going to help him calm down.
His eyes went a little glassy as he stared off at nothing. “Everything. All of it.” He shook his head and met my gaze. “You in a dumpster. You—the innocent, sweet Amihanna I used to know and love, who used to go through the door in our closet when she had a nightmare, who I swore to protect, crawling into a dumpster. That took my breath away and I can’t… I can’t seem to catch it.”
It was strange to me that the dumpster was the worst for him, but it really wasn’t the worst thing I played on those discs. It was only bad because it was me—the me he remembered from before—and he’d loved me.
It was weird how both he and my father found that clip the hardest to watch. All that death and horror I played, but it was me in a dumpster that got to them.
“That’s not the worst of where I lived, Lorne. I was really only in there for a day. It was a blip. I mean, being on Earth after Liberation Week was awful, especially those first few years.”
He closed his eyes. “You’re making it worse.” He started taking measured breaths again.
There was nothing I could say that could change the truth of what happened that day. It’d been awful. I tried to search my mind for anything positive about that dumpster, but there was nothing positive. No lesson I learned that was good. Nothing.
I tried to come up with something to explain how I was okay now, but he didn’t agree with that. I wasn’t sure how to help him other than shutting up, but I had to do something.
I leaned forward and brushed a kiss against his forehead, and said the only thing I thought might help. “I love you.”
His glow brightened, and I wasn’t sure if I’d just made it worse again.
Damn it. I should’ve shut up.
I went back to stretching, as if by going on, I’d will his frequencies to settle and balance. I pulled my arm across my chest and leaned into my shoulder.
My parents came to stand in front of me, and I stopped stretching to look up at my mother. “Am I in trouble?” Because she had that look on her face.
“No, but I feel like I owe you an apology,” Mom said.
There was no stopping my laugh. “What? Why in the wide universe of crazy would you ever need to apologize to me?”
“Because I’ve been ignoring what we went through.”
Oh. That.
Okay. That was fair.
“I just thought… I don’t know what I thought.” She brushed her hand over her perfect cascade of dark brown hair. “I’m your mother. You’ve always been stronger than me, but I didn’t help you as I should’ve since we’ve been here, and—”
I stood up then and turned to the stands behind me. Himani was still leaning close to Roan. Fynea was there also putting in a few words. I was sure they were already negotiating something, but I was ready for Himani to get something on camera.
“Himani. You might want to get this.” It was important because this went back to the previous part of the interview. I wanted to be clear.
Himani looked back at one of his camera people who nodded. One of the cameras darted forward, stopping just a few feet from my face.
“Okay,” Himani said to me.
“Good.”
I turned to my mother and hoped she’d really hear me. “My mother just apologized to me, and it’s important that everyone understand that I don’t need an apology. Not from anyone. And I won’t apologize either. While we were stuck on Earth, we were doing what we had to in order to survive. We did it together for so long, and it’s okay that my mother and I did it apart for a little bit. She has nothing to be sorry for or feel guilty about.”
I looked down at Lorne. “You didn’t do anything wrong either. You had a lot going on here, a lot that you were struggling with, a lot that worked against you going back to Earth, and I completely understand. I’m not mad at you for not coming to get me sooner. If you need my forgiveness, you have it. But you don’t need it. Not from me because when I was about to die on that moon, you came for me. You were there the moment that I needed you the most. I was dying and you saved me. You got there just in time.”
I looked at Himani. “You say that the Aunare didn’t know or understand what was going on. Okay. That’s all in the past. I don’t need apologies or explanations from you, the media, the people, or anyone else. I was lucky. I lived. And no matter how much I wish I could change the past and what happened, I can’t. No one can. But something can change now. Now you can do something. Now we can do something together. Today is a new day. Today we can unite against our enemy.”
I paused so that whoever ended up watching this would really, really understand this next part. “Today, we can save everyone who is suffering—Earther and Aunare and halfer—and give them a shot at a better life. It’s not going to be easy or quick or painless to get rid of SpaceTech’s rule, but billions of lives are on the line. Not just Aunare lives. Everyone. We have the ability to do what’s right today. The Aunare are the most powerful people in the universe. If we’re united, no one can stand in our way. So, today we unite.”
I turned to Eshrin. His skin was darker than most Aunare, and his black hair had a bit of a wave. It wasn’t quite as long as Lorne’s, but it was enough that he could tie the top part of it back to keep it out of his eyes when we trained.
He was tying it back as he watched me, which meant he wanted to get started. “Are you ready?”
I gave him one short nod. “Ready.”
I moved toward him, but my father grabbed my arm, stopping me. He tugged me until I was in his arms.
I froze, unsure of what to do. This wasn’t part of my plan. Ever. Why was he doing this? Why was he doing this right now?
Why was he hugging me?
“I knew you’d be a natural at this, but I didn’t expect that.” He whispered so softly that I wasn’t sure I was actually hearing him correctly.
“What?”
“You just gave us all absolution in one breath and hope in the next, even in times as dark as these.”
“I did?” I’d just spoken the truth as my heart and soul saw it, and I’d done it for a purpose. To make sure that the Aunare were ready for a fight. But absolution? Hope? That didn’t sound like something I would do.
“You did. You are going to be an amazing High Queen. I am truly proud of you, my daughter.”
I wasn’t sure what to say or what to feel. I pulled away from my father and looked down at Lorne for some help. He rose to stand beside me, and if there was anyone to give hope to people, I knew it had to be him. Not me. It couldn’t be me.
I didn’t set out to be a leader or to give anyone anything really. But one look at Lorne’s face and I knew he felt the same as my father.
Suddenly it was like everyone was staring at me and expecting so much from me, and it was almost too much to process.
So, instead of figuring out what I was feeling and why, I stepped through the people that loved me and walked to Eshrin. I had a job to do, and today, I’d make that job matter.
“Let’s do this,” I said quietly to Eshrin.
I glanced over at Roan—who was still sitting next to Himani—and nodded.
He tapped on his wrist unit, turning on my song.
The cameras ensured that today’s audience would eventually be much, much larger than the usual, but they weren’t physically here. I could forget about them if I focused hard enough. And that’s what I was going to do.
I faced the wall.
“Twenty times up fast, and then spar?” Eshrin asked as he stood beside me, shoulder to shoulder.
“Fifteen times up.”
“In a hurry to get started?” He grinned down at me. That stony look had already melted as it always did.
I shrugged. “I feel like everything I’ve been planning for years, everything I’ve wanted and hoped for but never thought would happen is about to happen.” I let out a breath. “I’m here. I’m safe. And I’m about to take SpaceTech down.”
The other four guards on duty came to stand beside us. There were a few more on today than normal, but instead of joining in, they kept their eyes on the crowd. They were on duty. But these four were training with me as usual.
Eshrin turned to Camaer, the guard to his right. “Better let Mae’ani know that she’s in a mood.”
I shoved Eshrin. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
He laughed and started counting down in Aunare.
I waited for him to finish counting and then I raced to the wall, with my guards a fraction of a second behind me.
Everything went calm and quiet in my mind as I climbed fast, fast, faster than anyone else could’ve climbed that wall. And when reached the top flanked on both sides with my guards, I knew I was home.
I was home. I was here. I was safe. And I was in command.
And SpaceTech? They were about to feel the full force of the di Aetes line, backed by all of the Aunare.
And as I flipped to the ground, I felt finally free. My guards landed next to me, and I yelled, “Again!”
We raced back to the wall, faster this time.
This was good. We were a team, and I knew even if it was just us against SpaceTech, I could win.
I would win, and that was everything.
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