A few days later, Irena was in her room doing her laundry when one of the nurses knocked on her door.
‘You have a visitor,’ she said. ‘He’s in the courtyard.’
She dropped the blouse she had been washing in the basin of soapy water and dried her hands. She hoped it wasn’t the major. Since his visit she’d spent nights tossing and turning, thinking about what Stanislaw had suggested. She wished she could bring herself to sleep with the Oberführer. She could find out valuable information and it might go some way to atone for not saving the Jewish woman and her child. But after turning herself inside out, she’d come to a decision. She couldn’t do it. The thought of his hands on her body revolted her and she’d never, in a million years, be able to pretend otherwise.
But Oberführer Bilsen had made it clear he was suspicious of her and when she refused to become his mistress, it would be only a matter of time before he brought her in for questioning. Behind that benign urbane manner was a man who would shoot her in the head without blinking. And if they did arrest her, if they beat her, would she be able to keep her secrets? She couldn’t be sure. How could anyone know what they would say under torture?
If she broke and told them about the work Stanislaw and Henryk had been doing here, they would be executed and the scam uncovered. Thousands who might otherwise be saved, would die.
Of course she could be mistaken about the major’s suspicions, but even if she was, she might still end up in a work camp. As the major had said, the Nazis were starting to take women between the ages of fifteen and twenty-four for their work camps – or for other reasons the older women in the village only whispered about. What good would she be to her country then?
Neither Stanislaw nor Henryk had said anything more about the matter, and she hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell them about her decision.
‘Who?’ she asked now through frozen lips.
I don’t know. He didn’t say. An older man.’
‘A German?’
The nurse looked at Irena, surprised. ‘No. He is Polish. I must go. I have work.’
Wondering who it could be, Irena hurried outside.
It took her a moment to recognise the frail, elderly figure on the bench.
‘Tata! I didn’t expect you.’
A smile of delight spread across his face. ‘My child!’
She ran across to him and, as he enveloped her in his arms, she felt all the fear and tension of the previous months melt away. He smelled of tobacco smoke and wet wool – familiar, comfortable, safe smells.
He ran a hand through her hair, murmuring words of endearment that warmed her soul. Finally he held her away from him. As he studied her, his eyes clouded. ‘You are thin, Renia.’
‘We are all thinner than we were, Tata. But why are you here? Is it safe?’
His mouth twisted. ‘The Germans do not seem to care any longer what I do.’
‘And the other professors and doctors?’
A spasm of grief crossed her father’s face. ‘Some they leave alone. Some they take away to prisons – others to work camps.’ He shook his head. ‘It is all so arbitrary.’
There was no answer to that. ‘Sit, Tata. Rest a while. You are still not strong.’
‘There are only a few of us doctors left in Krakow and only the older ones. It means we do not get much rest. At least there are some of us left to care for the sick and to teach.’
‘So why are you here, Tata? Not that I’m not happy to see you but it must have taken you the best part of the day to get here – unless you have come to stay?’
‘No, I must get back. I had to see you. I have some news.’ The sun was beginning to disappear and her father pulled up the collar of his coat.
‘Let’s go inside,’ she said, tucking her arm through his. ‘We can speak there.’
‘No, what I have to say must be said where there is no danger of anyone overhearing us.’
‘Is it good news, Tata?’
Her father’s face broke into a wide smile. ‘Yes. It is about your brother. I have word. He made it to England and has joined the British RAF. He is safe. He will continue to fight against the German invader from there.’
Happiness bloomed inside her chest. ‘Aleksy is alive! But that is wonderful! Are you sure?’
‘Absolutely. He managed to get a letter to me. It was in code and not signed but I knew what it meant.’
Her heart soared. Her brother, her darling Aleksander, was safe. Now, if only she could get news of Piotr, she could live through anything.
‘Have you heard any news of Piotr?’
Her father’s expression changed and in that moment Irena knew that she did not want to hear what he had to tell her.
‘No, Tata!’
‘I am sorry, my child. There have been reports. Terrible reports.’
‘Go on,’ she whispered.
‘It is only rumour. We can’t be certain.’ He touched her cheek. ‘There is talk that the Germans executed many of our officers that they kept as prisoners-of-war. Word has it that Piotr’s regiment was amongst them.’
The ground seemed to shift beneath her feet. ‘You said you can’t be sure!’
‘No. It’s possible his regiment escaped execution and was taken to a Russian gulag in Siberia. But even if that is true,’ he laid his hand on top of hers, ‘it doesn’t mean he is still alive.’
‘He’s not dead! Not Piotr. Krystiana told me thousands of our soldiers are in the Home Army. Thousands, Tata! And even if he was captured – he’s strong. He’ll come back to me. You’ll see!’
She could tell he didn’t believe it but he didn’t know Piotr the way she did. ‘At least we know for certain Aleksy is alive. We must be grateful for that.’
‘Which brings me to the other reason I’ve come. I’ve asked you before, but now I’m telling you. You must leave Poland. You’re not safe – even here. I have seen terrible things and I have heard worse. They are killing more and more of us. They won’t be satisfied until there isn’t a Jew or a Pole left on this earth.’
‘I know, Tata.’
He gripped her hand tightly. ‘It is more dangerous than ever. The Germans have been asking about you. They want to know where you are. I told them that I lost touch with you when Warsaw was bombed, that I think you are dead, but I don’t think they believe me.’
She didn’t want to tell him they already knew who, and where, she was. He’d be even more worried.
‘If you stay here you will die,’ he continued, ‘I am certain of it. More than ever.’
Her heart shuddered as his eyes brimmed with tears. ‘Tata!’
‘I couldn’t go on if anything happened to you, Renia. You must leave.’
Leave Poland? To abandon her country when it needed her most? Yet, although everything inside her rebelled against it, she knew she had no choice. Her father was right. It was too risky to stay here.
‘If I agree to go, will you come too?’ she asked, even though she already knew what his answer would be.
‘You know I can’t. I am too old to start a new life in another country. I must stay. But it will give me a reason to live if I know my children are safe.’
Irena chewed her lip. How could she leave her father when she might never see him again? And Piotr? Perhaps he’d escaped and was with the underground army, and might come to find her. Although so far, he hadn’t even found a way of sending her a message.
She shook the doubts away. He was alive somewhere – even if it was in one of Stalin’s camps – and she’d promised him she’d try to survive so that one day they could be together again. And to be free, to see Aleksy again, to live without fear. To be able to tell the world what was happening here…
‘If I disappear, will they not come looking for me?’
‘I’ll persuade Henryk to say that you died of typhus. He can write the death certificate. It won’t be difficult to find an undertaker who will swear he buried you.’
‘How will I get out?’
‘There are ways. You must know that Stanislaw and Henryk have their contacts – people who will help you. Do you remember the name and address of the Englishman I gave you when we were still in Warsaw? I am sure he will help you too.’
‘I don’t know if I can bear to say goodbye to you.’ Her voice thickened as tears clogged her throat.
Her father lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. ‘You must be brave. I will rest easier knowing you are safe. If you won’t do it for me, do it for Piotr and your dead mother’s memory.’