By July the German army was in retreat all over Europe and the Russians almost at Poland’s doorstep. The Red Army dropped leaflets and broadcast on the radio that they were coming, exhorting the Poles to be ready to help them. Knowing they were close, the Home Army came out into the open to fight.
To her joy, Irena had met Anna again. She’d appeared at one of the safe houses, wearing an olive skirt and jacket with the Polish Home Army armband on her upper arm.
The two women hugged.
‘Why are you here?’ Irena asked.
‘The time for sending messages is over. Poland is about to be liberated and I want to be standing shoulder to shoulder with my countrymen and women when it is.’ Anna glanced over to Antoni, before smiling slyly at Irena. ‘With him.’
So that’s the way it was.
‘We’re not waiting for the Russians to liberate us,’ Antoni said from across the room. ‘We will liberate ourselves – even if it means dying in the attempt. If we don’t they will just be another occupying force. Poland must be free again.’
On the first of August the first shots were fired, killing hundreds of Germans. They were quick to retaliate, pulling people from their homes or from the street and summarily executing them. They set fire to houses and buildings, systematically moving from street to street.
Within weeks the city of Warsaw was reduced to rubble. Although they must have known they were defeated, the Germans seemed intent on destroying every building and killing every man, woman and child. The resistance fought wherever and with whatever they could. Even children joined in.
With all pretence of acceptance of German rule gone, and with the Home Army fighting openly on the streets, Irena persuaded Hinda to take her children to the hospital. They would be as safe there, if not safer, than they would be in hiding.
The doctors at the hospital cleaned Jacob’s wound under anaesthetic and almost immediately the little boy began to improve. His mother and sister stayed close beside him, sleeping on the floor. Whenever Irena found a few moments to spare, she visited them there and as soon as Irena sat down Leah would climb into her lap and sit there, sucking her thumb, her small body pressed into Irena and her head tucked under Irena’s chin. She said the odd word, but on the whole was happy to watch what was going on around her.
In return, Irena couldn’t help but love the little girl back. There was something about Leah that reminded her of herself at that age. Despite the trauma of years spent in hiding, or perhaps because of it, Leah rarely cried. Equally, she seldom smiled. Irena hoped that when the war was over, when normal life resumed once more, and with the love of her mother and brother, Leah would learn to behave like a child should.
Irena was at the hospital, caring for the injured and dying as best she could, as best as any of them could without medicine or anaesthetic for those screaming in pain or burning up with fever, when German soldiers stormed in, brandishing their weapons.
‘Everyone outside,’ they shouted, ‘Now!’
One of the doctors raised his head from the patient he was examining. ‘We can’t leave our patients. They will die if we do,’ he said calmly.
‘They must go too. Everyone. Out.’
The doctor looked incredulous. ‘It is impossible,’ he said, turning back to his patient.
An officer walked over to him, pulled the pistol from his belt and calmly shot him in the back of the head.
‘Anyone else?’ the officer sneered. ‘Anyone else who feels they would like to stay?’The remainder of the staff shared terrified glances before turning to the injured and sick and helping them out of their beds. What new horror did the Nazis have in store for them? Irena heard tramping feet in the corridor and glanced over her shoulder to see doctors and nurses, even a nun, carrying stretchers.
‘Leave the sickest,’ the German officer said, ‘they will be seen to. But no doctors or nurses are to stay. You must go with your patients. They will need you to take care of them.’
A worm of fear crawled along Irena’s spine. She wanted to believe them. The Russians were almost here, so what use was it for the Germans to waste precious resources, precious ammunition on them?
She picked up a child she had been treating who had crush injuries to both his feet and carried him outside, joining the snaking line of patients and staff. Behind her she heard shots and cries, and she held the child closer, covering his ears with her hands.
‘It is all right,’ she murmured. ‘It’s going to be all right. We are moving to another hospital, that’s all.’
The procession tore at Irena’s heart. Most of the doctors were in front, the assistants next, carrying on stretchers those too weak or injured to walk, and then Irena and the nurses with the remainder of the patients, some still in their underwear, some on crutches, supported by relatives or fellow patients. They shuffled forward, their eyes downcast, each step requiring superhuman effort.
Someone grabbed hold of Irena’s elbow. It was the mother of the boy Irena was carrying. ‘Let me take him,’ his mother said, although she could barely walk herself. Irena passed the boy to her, suspecting that this could be the last time the woman held her son.
They were poked and prodded along Gorczewska Street, where the line turned off into a tunnel and halted. A few moments later the line moved forward again until finally they were herded together in a shed.
After examining their documents, they were divided into groups and the first group of twelve was led out of the back entrance and into what Irena assumed would be a courtyard. A few minutes later the sound of machine-gunfire ripped through the room followed by two or three single shots. There were a few cries from the people waiting, but mostly they just gripped each other tightly, whispering their goodbyes.
So this day, a bright August afternoon, was to be her last. Images spooled through her mind, pictures of herself as a little girl holding her mother’s hand, of her and Grandmother in the kitchen, at the piano as Alexsy sat next to her, memories of her father taking her by the hand on his visits to hospital, the first time and the last that she’d seen Piotr and then finally the most painful of all, her curled up in the armchair in the room in Skye watching Richard as he slept. My love, my love.
Another group was led away and once again the sound of gunfire rang out. They should do something. Run, attack the guards, anything. They were going to die anyway and she refused to go to her death without a fight. And not here, in this dark place that smelled of blood and terror.
She dragged in a breath. Most of the guards were herding the next group forward at the other end of the shed and only three remained at the entrance. There would be others outside, even if she made it past the ones at the entrance, but at least she would die in the sunshine.
She edged silently towards the guards. All she had was a hat-pin – less than useless against a machine gun. Nevertheless, she removed it from her cap and curled her fist around it.
As she approached, one of the soldiers looked at her and a flash of recognition crossed his face. It was the young German soldier who’d been shot on the street and who in return had saved her life.
‘Fräulein?’ he said.
She nodded. He glanced to his left where his companion had turned away to subdue a woman who was screaming as her child was wrenched from her arms.
‘You are Volksdeutsch?’
She shook her head. She wouldn’t claim German ethnicity, not even to save her life.
The soldier stared at her then grabbed her by the arm. ‘You are Volksdeutsch,’ he insisted. ‘You should not be here. Go.’
Just then a small hand slipped into hers. She looked down to find Leah looking up at her. Dear God, they were here too. She glanced over to where Hinda was standing, her son tucked into her side. For a moment their eyes locked. Take her, Hinda mouthed. Her eyes, fixed on her daughter, filled. Please.
Hinda’s face blurred and reformed, until it seemed to Irena she was looking into the beseeching eyes of the Jewish woman with the baby.
She gave a slight nod and picked up Leah. The little girl buried her head in the crook of Irena’s neck. She began to move towards the exit.
‘No,’ the soldier whispered urgently, shaking his head. ‘Just you.’
She couldn’t leave Leah. She had missed the opportunity to save a child once and she wouldn’t do so again. It was either both of them or neither of them. She lifted her chin and, holding the gaze of the soldier, took another step. She could read his indecision, feel his fear. She lowered her eyes and took one more step. Then another. Every moment she expected to hear the command to halt ring out or to feel a bullet in her back. Every step felt like a mile, but unbelievably no shout rang out. Then, just as she reached the exit, she felt a hand on her arm. It was the soldier again. But instead of dragging them back inside he propelled her roughly to the end of the queue and shoved her. ‘Go,’ he said. ‘Don’t look back. Just walk. If they catch you again, there is nothing I will be able to do for you.’
She held Leah tighter, trying to block out the sounds of machine-gunfire and, on legs that felt as if they wouldn’t hold her upright, continued to walk. As soon as she reached a building she ducked inside, Leah heavy in her arms.
‘Where’s Mama?’ Leah asked, wriggling to be put down. Her lower lip started quivering when she didn’t see them behind her. ‘Where’s Mama?’ she demanded again. ‘Where’s Jacob?’
Irena put her fingers to her lips. ‘Ssh. We are playing a game of hide-and-seek. We will hide for as long as we can, and see if they can find us. Is that all right?’
Leah’s brow knotted for a moment then she smiled timidly and nodded her head. It was the first time she’d been separated from her mother and brother and Irena prayed that if she’d learned one thing from hiding all these years, it was to do as she was told.
They stayed in the ruins of the building until long after it got dark. Irena knew she should leave the area – find a safe house or a bunker – but she couldn’t. Not until she was sure that there was no one left alive. But as the sound of gunfire continued into the afternoon, it was followed by the smell of burning and the sweet, sickly smell of scorched human flesh. They were clearing up after themselves. She clenched her hands in to fists. She could do nothing for her countrymen and women, for Hinda and Jacob, but she would do whatever she had to, to keep this child alive.
When the soldiers finally left, and an eerie silence seeped through the street, Irena crept out of the building, tightly holding Leah’s hand. She had to find whatever was left of the resistance. That was her only hope. They weaved their way through the burning buildings, stepping around the bodies that lay on the street. Leah said nothing, just sucked on her thumb harder than ever, eventually falling asleep, cradled in Irena’s arms once more. It was dark before they managed to make it back to the building where the unit Anna and Antoni were with, had their base.
Anna hugged her for a long time, delighted to see her alive – news of the hospital massacre had already reached them – but less than happy to see Leah.
‘We can’t keep a child here,’ she whispered. ‘It’s too dangerous. You must take her somewhere else.’
Irena glanced at the still-sleeping child on her bed of coats and sacks. ‘Everywhere is dangerous! Where do you suggest I take her? All the Varsovians are either fighting or hiding in their houses and refusing to come out. I won’t abandon her.’
‘I know someone who might help,’ Antoni said, leaving his position at the window. ‘She took many children from the ghetto before it was liquidated and smuggled them overseas. She might be able to arrange something for the child – if you have a family that will sponsor her.’
Irena immediately thought of Isabel and Richard. ‘I know a family in Britain. They will take her if I ask them. Where do I find this woman?’
Anna picked up her gun. ‘Is she still in Warsaw, Antoni? I will have to make enquiries. Irena, you rest.’
One of the other freedom fighters looked up and frowned. ‘We can’t waste good soldiers on a fool’s errand. We are fighting for the greater good of Poland, not for individuals.’
‘What is Poland,’ Anna countered, ‘if not individuals? Tell me where I might find this woman, Antoni.’
‘Anna, it’s too risky right now,’ Irena protested. ‘I’ll go later.’
‘It’s risky all the time and we need you, Renia, more than ever,’ Anna said. ‘Your hospital wasn’t the only one where there were mass executions of staff and patients. With so many doctors and nurses murdered, we need all the medical help we can get.’
Irena closed her eyes as a wave of exhaustion swept over her. She didn’t know if she had the strength or courage to continue. Today’s events had drained her. But as an image of Hinda’s eyes swam in front of her, she knew saving Leah was more important than anything or anyone.
Antoni chewed his lower lip. ‘Go now, Anna,’ he said urgently. ‘But if you can’t find this woman within the next twenty-four hours we’ll have to think of another plan.’
‘Thank you,’ Irena breathed. Tomorrow she knew, when Hindi and Jacob failed to appear, Leah would begin asking questions and she had no idea what she going to say to her. In the meantime, there were men and women that needed medical attention.
After doing her best for the sick and injured, Irena lowered her weary body onto the bedding beside Leah. She removed her necklace and held it up to the flickering light of a candle, remembering her mother, the way her golden hair had fallen over Irena’s face when she’d kissed her goodnight, her scent and her softness as she’d hugged her. She didn’t need the necklace to remind her of her Mama. She had all these memories locked away inside her head. With a small pair of surgical scissors, she began unpicking the hem of Leah’s coat.
Anna was true to her word. She returned the next morning with news that she’d found someone who was with the Źegota, the code name that was used for the Polish Council to Aid Jews, and who could take Leah to safety.
‘You could go with her,’ Anna said. ‘I have a spare set of papers. But you’ll have to go now.’
Irena looked down at the little girl. She was still sleeping, her cheeks flushed with tears. The child wouldn’t be so frightened if Irena was with her.
But she couldn’t leave. Not yet. Not when Poland needed every freedom fighter, every nurse and doctor, every builder, engineer and teacher, to stand together in this final onslaught. What mattered right now was Leah’s survival.
She told Anna what she’d done with the necklace and pressed the remainder of the cash the SOE had given her into her hand. ‘I think there’s enough here.’ She hesitated; the necklace was the only gift Irena had to leave Leah. ‘But if you need to sell the necklace then do.’
Saying goodbye to Leah tore Irena’s heart. Tiny as she was, it took Anna and another helper to wrench Hinda’s clinging daughter from her arms. Irena’s only consolation as she watched Anna carry her away, Leah’s wide-spread flaying hands stretched out towards her, begging her with pleading, bewildered eyes not to let them take her, was that Richard’s family would take good care of her until, God willing, Irena made it back to Britain.