What do you want, Cat?” I spat into the phone as I hurried to the door.
Silence. I threw a glance over my shoulder at Mom. Still sleeping. “Hello?”
“Shaley.” A man’s voice. Not Cat’s.
My feet slowed for a second, then picked up speed again. “Whoever you are, I can’t talk right n—”
“Wait, don’t hang up! I have to talk to you.”
“Who is this?” I thrust my hand toward the door handle.
“Franklin Borden.”
I slammed to a halt. All I could do was stare at the door, my hand hanging in the air. All my rage at Cat shifted toward this loser of a father. But the rage went far deeper, darker.
“Shaley?”
“Mom’s sleeping. What do you want?” The words fell hard and accusing. My fingers dug into the phone.
“I wanted to talk to you. You know who I am?”
Both my knees went weak. I stumbled to the bed and sat down. Rational thought pushed into my brain. Get him to tell you where he is so you can tell the police! But every wretched hope I’d ever had of talking to this man clogged in my throat. “I know you left my mother seventeen years ago and never looked back.”
“I didn’t want to go, Shaley.”
“Then why did you?”
“Has your mom told you the whole story?”
I couldn’t believe this. I was talking to the man who left my mother. Who left me.
“You could have called. You could have told her where you were.”
“I … sent her flowers.”
I snorted. “Yeah, and then they stopped—when you went to prison.”
“Look. There’s so much to say. This isn’t the way I’d hoped this conversation would go.”
“What did you expect? Like you could just call me after all these years?”
“Listen.” He spoke pleadingly. “I didn’t even know you existed until four years ago. Not until your mom’s band became famous and she was on TV. I saw an interview with her and heard her mention a daughter turning twelve that month. I was shocked. I didn’t know.”
Bitterness sizzled in my veins. “You were in prison then.”
“True. And because of that there was no way I could even try to reach Rayne.”
“You were there because you held up a store. With a gun.”
“I—”
“Doesn’t sound like a person I’d want to be my father.”
“Shaley.” His voice caught. “I was wrong. An idiot. My grandmother had recently died, I’d lost my job. Almost lost my soul. It was a stupid, stupid move. If I’d even thought about it another second, I never would have done it.”
Liar.
Behind me, I heard Mom stir. I hunched over, covering my mouth with a hand. “Well, you should have taken that second.”
“I know. I’m sorry I let you down. It’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”
My teeth clenched. “You let me down by never being there for me in the first place.”
“Please. I’m not a bad person. I’ve just made mistakes.”
“Mistakes? A mistake is a wrong answer on a math test. A good person doesn’t walk into a store and stick a gun in some innocent clerk’s face.”
“I get why you feel that way. But that’s behind me now. I served my time. Now I’m asking you for forgiveness.”
Yeah, right. “Why should I give it?”
He sighed. “You’re young. Some day you’re going to learn people aren’t black or white. We’re all shades of gray. Even a good person can make a mistake. I’m asking you not to judge until I can show you who I really am now.”
“I know who you are,” I hissed. “You’re the one who sent Jerry Brand here. He killed two people and tried to kidnap me.”
“I didn’t know he’d do that! I thought I could trust him.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I just wanted him to get close to you and your mother so he could tell me about you. I wanted to know what your life’s like, who your friends are. I just wanted to know about my daugh—”
“He killed two people!”
“I don’t know why he did that. He went crazy. He was never like that when I knew him.”
“He was in jail with you.”
“But he’d served his time, and he said he just wanted to build a new life. I had no idea what he would do. I’d never want to hurt you like that. Never.”
My eyes squeezed shut. I so wished I could believe the words. “What do you want from me?”
“I want to see you. To see your mom. I’ve dreamed of that for years.”
Something new in his tone cut right through me. He sounded so sincere. I couldn’t think of a thing to say. The little girl inside me who’d longed for a father wanted to believe. That little girl balanced on an ocean cliff, wanting to let go and fall into his words. Let his story wash away the pain …
Your father sent me.
I thought of Mom, the band members. Ross. So many people’s safety depended on this man being found. And now I was talking to him on the phone.
My heart leapt again with yearning for my father. How could I possibly turn him in to the police? I could at least warn him the police were looking for him. If he left Denver now, maybe they wouldn’t find him …
And then what, Shaley? Leave him on the loose to come after you again?
My eyes squeezed shut. I had to face reality. Here I was talking to my father for the first time in my life—but I couldn’t allow myself to believe his lies.
Do it, Shaley. Do what you have to do.
I thrust back my shoulders. “Where are you?”
“Will you see me?”
An evasive answer. I went cold. He must be close.
“What does that mean? How could I see you in Phoenix?”
“Don’t play dumb, Shaley. You know I’m in Denver. The police know.”
And one’s standing outside my door.
“Why did you come here?”
“I had to see you. I had to know if Rayne’s all right. I saw the news on TV of her accident. And when I heard what Jerry did, I was so mad. I couldn’t believe it …”
That tone again. I wanted to lose myself in it. Maybe he really did care.
He’s lying and you know it.
But what if he wasn’t?
Did I want this man—my father—surrounded by policemen with guns pointed at him? The father I’d never even met? The police had done the same to Jerry. And Jerry was dead.
Tears burned my eyes. Again I thought of Mom and the band members. How could I leave them in danger? How could I leave myself in danger?
“You really want to see me?” My voice almost cracked.
“Yes. More than anything.”
“Then you have to tell me where you are.”
He hesitated. “I’m at the hospital.”
His answer knocked the wind out of me. “Oh.” Somehow I managed to sound calm. “I’m at the hospital too.”
“Really?” Excitement tinged his voice. “Didn’t know that. Can you meet me somewhere?”
Any hope left inside me died. Now I could prove he was lying. Even the reporters knew I was here at the hospital. He had to know that too.
My heart fell to my toes. I stood up and moved toward the door. “Okay. But just to talk.”
“Yes. Just to talk. After all these years that’ll be so great.”
Quietly, I opened the door. Mick and Officer Tripton looked around. “Yeah. It will. Sorry I sounded so mean.” I stepped into the hallway and eased the door closed. My pulse was going a mile a minute. I jabbed my finger toward the phone, mouthing It’s him. Officer Tripton’s eyebrows shot up. He reached for his radio and flipped the sound off.
“It’s okay,” my father said. “I know it’s hard hearing from me like this.”
“So … where are you?”
“On the third floor.”
I nearly dropped the phone. Where on the third floor? I threw a panicked look down the hall.
“The third floor?” I locked wild eyes with the policeman. “So am I.”
“In your Mom’s room? I spotted the room awhile ago down a long hall—with two guards outside, one a policeman. It’s why I called. I knew they’d never let me through.”
My mouth opened, but no words came. He’d told the truth. He didn’t have to do that. If he was trying to manipulate me into walking past those two guards—would he be that honest?
Of course he would. He had to convince me to make up an excuse to give them as to where I was going.
“Shaley?”
“Sorry. I’m here. I can just … tell those guards outside I’m going to the nurse’s station for something.”
“Good. Get to the station and I’ll tell you what to do.”
He wants to keep me on the phone. So I won’t talk to the policeman.
“Okay. Give me a minute to get out the door.”
I lowered the phone and pointed down the hall. Officer Tripton nodded and tapped his radio. I backed up, hand over the phone’s mouthpiece, until I was far enough away for him to speak into it quietly.
He gave me a thumbs up, gestured for Mick to stay put, then moved beside me.
My legs started to shake.
“Okay.” I willed my voice to sound calm. “I’m walking toward the nurse’s station.” I fell quiet, heart ramming against my ribs. Officer Tripton’s hand moved to hover over his gun. I looked away.
My father was going to die.
In front of the station, I stopped. “I’m here.”
“Good. See the hall up and to your right? Take it. I’m in an empty room. Three sixty-seven.”
That close. He was that close.
My throat tightened. All the childhood dreams of a long-lost father who loved me paraded mockingly through my mind. Every one of them ended here. In the next minute.
I felt like throwing up.
“Okay.” I pointed for Officer Tripton, mouthing around the corner—in a room.
On legs I couldn’t even feel, I moved forward. Turned up the corridor. Officer Tripton stayed by me. The first door on my right read 358. The room in which my father hid would be on my left.
My father.
Not far from that room a stairwell door opened. Four officers crept out of it, crouched low and soundless, guns drawn.
My right hand fisted against my stomach. Maybe they wouldn’t shoot him here, in a hospital.
Of course they would. They’d be in a room away from other patients. Besides, if they threw open that door, and he drew a gun …
What would I tell Mom? After seventeen years, her Gary had been here, right here, and I’d led the police to him, let them take him away.
Or worse, kill him.
Would she hate me?
Blood whooshed through my ears. Somehow my feet kept walking. I passed room 362.
“Where are you?” Franklin asked.
“Almost there.”
“Any policemen around?”
“No.”
Room 364 slid by. The four policemen drew near. One of them gestured to me—where?
My fingers cramped around the phone. I shot the officer a meaningful look. “Franklin. You said three sixty-seven?”
At the cue, Officer Tripton caught my arm. He slashed a hand through the air, waving me back.
“Yes,” my father said.
I melted away from the policemen, back far enough that I’d be well out of the line of fire.
They advanced toward the door, guns ready. Five against one.
My trembling finger clicked off the call.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. Could only watch with the terrified eyes of a child who’d desperately longed to see her father face-to-face—and had now betrayed him.