Chapter Eight

 

Houston

 

“Gravity” by Sara Bareilles plays as I make my way towards to my parents’ place. I might be a rockstar, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have varied taste in music.

This song makes me think of Culhwch. It’s true that something always brings me back to him. He was my one constant when we dated, and I want him to be my future.

I pull up in their driveway and pull a cigarette from the packet in my glove box. I’m not a smoker normally, but I am in situations of high stress. If any situation called for it, it would be coming out to my family over Sunday dinner.

As I’m finishing my cigarette, Cul pulls up behind my car.

“That’s a dirty habit, you know,” he says as he shuts the car door behind him.

I was hoping he wouldn’t notice. Oh well. Good job I don’t intend to kiss him, else he’d complain of the taste.

He looks every inch the GQ model with a black shirt moulded to his muscular physique.

“It’s impolite to stare,” he says as he comes up next to me.

“Sorry,” I say as I brush my fingers over his.

A jolt of electricity shoots up my arm from the contact and I have to hold myself back from drawing him in for a kiss.

“Ready?” he asks with a smile as he discreetly squeezes my hand.

“As I’ll ever be.”

“There he is, my handsome boy,” mum greets as we walk into the lounge.

“Hi, Mum,” I choke out as she squeezes me in a hug so tight, I’m sure I’m about to pop.

“And who’s this good-looking young man?” she asks as she finally lets me breathe.

“This is my… friend, Culhwch,” I stutter, almost calling him more than just a friend.

“Culhwch, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s lovely to meet you. Houston has told me a lot about you and Eddie.”

“Speaking of, where is Dad?”

“Oh, he’s in the shed. He’ll be in soon. Can I get you boys a drink?”

“I’m driving, but I’ll take a coffee. Cul?”

“A coffee would be great, thanks. I’m still not sure I’m fully awake.”

“Late night was it?” Mum asks as she heads into the kitchen with us hot on her heels.

“He’s a firefighter, Mum. He was on duty last night.”

“Oh, I see.”

She fills the kettle and pulls some mugs from the cupboard.

“Is Alex coming?”

“He’ll be here soon, I hope. I told him half past. I wanted to see you first. Call me selfish, but I haven’t seen my first-born in so long.”

“Sorry, Mum. You know how it is when we’re on tour.”

“That I do, son. Still, you’re home for a while now, so I hope to see more of you.”

“You will, Mum, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that, dear,” she replies as she hands Cul and I mugs.

“Houston, son, it’s good to see you,” Dad says, making me jump and almost spill my steaming hot coffee all down myself.

“Hey, Dad. Dad, this is Culhwch. Cul, this is Eddie.”

They shake hands and greet each other. I only hope they’ll both be as polite by the end of dinner. Mum and Dad, that is, not Dad and Culhwch.

“Culhwch, that’s an unusual name,” Dad says as he accepts a mug from Mum.

“It’s from an old Welsh tale.”

“Culhwch and Olwen, right? I knew I’d heard the name somewhere before,” Mum chimes in.

“That’s right Mrs. Wainwright.”

“Pshh! Please, the only Mrs. Wainwright is my mother-in-law. Call me Violet.”

“Sorry, Violet.”

“No need to be sorry for having manners, dear.”

The front door opens, and Maisie and Pepper come running in.

“Uncle Culhwch,” Maisie says as she runs up and hugs his legs.

“Crazy Maisie. How are you, my baby girl?” he asks as he sets down his coffee and picks her up.

“Good. I lost a tooth though, look.”

She opens her mouth wide and Cul peers at her missing tooth.

“Well I hope the tooth fairy compensated you well for that. That was a big tooth to lose.”

“She did, she left me two pound coins.”

“Hey, bro,” Alex says as he walks in with Sophia.

“Hey, guys, it’s good to see you.”

He gives me a hug that’s not as tight as Mum’s was. Thank goodness.

“Sophia, you look well.”

“Thanks, Houston. Hey, Cul. What are you doing here?”

“You all know each other?” Mum asks, finally able to get a word in as she hugs them.

“Culhwch is my best friend. I introduced him and Houston a few years back at a gig. Didn’t realise they were friends though,” Sophia says as Mum hands her a bottled water.

“Not drinking, Sof? Something we should know?” Cul asks.

“Well, since you mention it, the girls have something to tell everyone.”

“Mummy’s having a baby,” Maisie and Pepper shout excitedly.

“Oh Sof, I’m so happy for you guys,” Cul says as he pulls her into a hug.

“Hey, you’re squashing me Uncle Cul,” Maisie says as she wriggles to get free.

Everyone in the room hugs Sophia and Alex before Mum gathers Maisie and Pepper in a huge hug.

“You’re going to be big sisters,” Mum says.

The girls chatter excitedly while the rest of us move out of the kitchen.

“Did you and Mum know already?” I ask Dad.

“Only since last night. They weren’t sure if they were able to come because Sophia was quite sick. They said something about hyper something or other.”

“Hyperemesis gravidarum,” Alex says as he sits on the couch.

“Didn’t the Duchess of Cambridge have that?” Cul asks.

“She did.”

We all take seats and make small talk while waiting for dinner to be ready. We all know better by now than to offer Mum any help, because she refuses and shoos you from the room.

As soon as Mum announces dinner is served, we all pile into the kitchen to get our plates and file into the dining room.

Dad always sits at the head of the table, with Mum to the right of him, so I take the seat on his left and indicate Cul should sit next to me.

My palms are clammy, and I swear my pulse doesn’t know what it’s doing. I wipe my palms on my jeans and reach to squeeze Cul’s thigh discreetly under the table.

He offers me a small smile as he reaches for my hand and squeezes reassuringly.

“It’s so nice to have all my family together,” Mum says as she pours some wine, “And Culhwch, any friend of Houston’s is always welcome here.”

My heart thunders in my chest at the word friend. I know I have to tell them, but I didn’t think to ask Culhwch how I should tell them exactly who it is that I’m seeing. I don’t want to pressure him, especially in front of everyone. But I find myself needing to tell them. I can’t keep hearing the word friend, when in reference to my soulmate.

“So, how’s my first-born? It feels like too long since we last saw you. How’s life on the road treating you?”

“Mum, we FaceTime frequently. It’s not like I never make contact.”

“I know, but it’s not as good as seeing you in the flesh.”

“Well, actually Mum… Umm… there’s something I need to tell everyone.”

“Okay. What’s up, son?”

“I know you all probably think that we’re here for dinner because it’s the first Sunday I’ve been able to make it in a long time. But in actuality, I asked Mum to call a family dinner so that I can tell you all at once. I… umm…” I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. “I didn’t want anyone thinking that I’d told someone but not them. You know how you can get.”

“Spit it out, boy. Are you getting married or something?” Dad asks in his usual strait-laced way.

He never pulls his punches, that’s for sure.

“No Dad, but since you mention it, there is someone in my life. Someone special. Someone I… love.”

Mum whoops and hollers like I said I was getting married after all.

“I’ve thought long and hard how to tell you all. I’ve gone over and over it in my mind for a very long time. Truth is, I met someone a few years ago at a gig of ours and we instantly clicked.”

“Well don’t keep us in suspense. Who is she?”

“She’s a he,” I emphasize.

Everyone falls silent. I swear you could hear a pin drop right now. My god, what am I doing?

Cul squeezes the top of my thigh reassuringly.

“I guess you’ll all think I’ve been lying about who I am, and I suppose I have––not just to you, but to myself. There’s this inherent notion of what normal should look like; it should be a man and a woman, right? But that’s not what normal is for me.”

I take a deep breath as I take in the matching looks on everyone’s faces, everyone except Culhwch.

“Son,” Dad says before I can say another word, “We’ve always known. Mum only asked who she is because we didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“But now I fear that’s embarrassed you more, son. And if it has, I’m truly sorry. Dad and I always knew this day was coming, but we never knew what we’d say until you finally opened up to us.”

“Just to note, I’ve known for a long time,” Alex chimes in.

“You’re a jerk, but yes, you were right all that time ago, bro,” I confirm.

“You knew?” Sophia asks, giving her husband a funny look.

“It wasn’t my secret to tell, Sophia. You’re my wife and I love you dearly. I try not to keep secrets from you, but this wasn’t mine to share.”

“Oh, I’m not worried you didn’t tell me, I’m just surprised you knew.”

“So, none of you mind?” I ask, feeling more than a little shocked.

“Mind? What’s to mind son?” Dad asks.

I look at him and see him smile. I offer him a grateful smile in return.

“Are we to assume that Culhwch is more than just a friend?” Mum asks a little too loudly.

My eyes dart to him. We hadn’t discussed this, and now my palms are clammy again and my heart is racing.

Culhwch looks at me before nodding.

“My brother-in-law and my best friend?” Sophia asks as she takes it all in.

“I want you all to know, I love this man with all my heart. We’ve been together before. We were actually seeing each other for three years.”

“And you never told us?” this time it’s Mum that asks.

“I’m sorry, Mum. It wasn’t just you guys. Nobody knew. That’s the main reason we split up; I found it too hard to tell anyone.” I clear my throat before continuing. “I wasn’t sure anyone would accept me. Not that I think you guys would ever disown me,” I rush to add. “No, it was more… people in general. If I told you, I’d have to tell the lads in the band, then the fans. Soon the whole world would know I was gay, and I was scared that I’d be rejected.”

“Oh, my sweet baby boy,” Mum says.

I look at her and see unshed tears in her eyes. She gets up and walks round the table, then wraps me in a hug.

“I love you, Houston. We all do,” she says on a restrained sob. “Your sexuality does not define you as a person. Never has, never will.”

“She’s right son.” Dad sounds choked up.

I look over Mum’s shoulder and see his eyes glistening. My father never cries. Eddie Wainwright is not an overly emotional man. But a tear rolls down his cheek, and he does nothing to remove the evidence.

“Welcome to the family, Culhwch,” Mum says as she moves to hug him.

She goes to sit back down and Cul takes my hand.

“Wait, you two met at that gig we went to. You got together back then?” Sophia asks, looking puzzled.

“We did,” Cul answers. “Remember when you asked where we’d been when we were backstage? Well, we’d been on the tour bus talking.”

“Yeah, you said that at the time. But I didn’t think you two were… you know.” She pauses, probably because of little ears at the table. “Together.”

“I fell in love with him that very night,” I answer honestly. “And I have loved him every moment between that night and now. Not only do I love him, but one day, I want us to be married.”

“Aw, man,” she says as she visibly chokes up.

“And when he finally asks me, I’ll say yes,” Culhwch replies earnestly.

“You’re such a handsome couple,” Mum says as she stands to clear the plates.

“He’s the best part of me, Mum. Always has been. I’ve never been in love before. I thought I had, but what I feel for this man wipes away all notion of ever feeling anything even remotely close to love.”

She visibly tears up again and rushes to clear the plates.

I follow her into the kitchen and see her standing by the sink, her back to me. Taking a deep breath, I walk forward and wrap my arms around her.

“Are you okay, Mum? Was this all too much?”

“My baby boy is head over heels in love with someone. He must be a remarkable guy. You’ve never really been so open before.”

“Was it too much? Should I have come alone?”

“No, don’t be silly,” she replies as she turns to face me and wipes her face. “I’m just so goddamn proud of you. These aren’t sad tears. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

“God, if you’re this emotional now, wait until we give you grandbabies to coo over.”

“Oh my,” she whispers with her hand over her heart. “You’ve never talked like this before Houston.”

“No, Mum, because I hadn’t met the right person.”

“But now you have?”

“Yes. I should have told you all about him sooner. We talked about it, but I could never pluck up the courage to take the bull by the horns. He never pushed me to come out, but I could tell it was causing him pain to feel like he was back in the closet again, as my secret. But my secret love is no secret anymore. He’s the one, Mum.”

“Oh darling, I couldn’t be happier or prouder of you than in this very moment. Like Dad said, we’ve known for a long time, but we never wanted to push you to tell us until you were ready.”

“I wasn’t ashamed to be gay, Mum. I was scared of rejection.”

“I know, baby,” she says as she kisses my cheek. “But no matter what happens, remember that we will always love you.”

***

Culhwch and I sit on his couch, and my mouth hurts from smiling so much. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My family couldn’t have been happier for us, and it was Cul’s own choice to confirm we were together.

I know I still have a few obstacles to tackle, but he said we were together. He told my family that when I ask him to marry me, he’ll say yes. Nothing could feel more amazing than that.

With Cul and my family behind me, I know that I can face all obstacles head on and overcome them.

“You’re everything to me, you know that?” I ask as I nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

“I love you so much, Houston. I meant what I said earlier, you know.”

“Which bit?”

There’d been a lot of talk after dinner, and my family couldn’t have been more welcoming of the man in my life. He told them about his job, about how much he loved me, and all sorts of things about him. They asked so many questions I’m surprised his brain knew up from down. But he didn’t mind one bit.

“About agreeing to marry you one day. But then, you never know, it might be me doing the proposing.”

A lone tear slips down my face as I turn to face him.

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” I say before claiming his lips in a soft and sweet kiss.