three
The Warrioress
Cultivating the Tools of Empowerment
The warrior is a person who walks the path impeccably,
one who knows with clarity the proper use of energy.
A warrior chooses a path with heart,
any path with heart, and follows it;
and then he rejoices and laughs.
He knows because he sees that his life will be
over altogether too soon. He sees that nothing is more important than anything else.
–Carlos Castaneda
Imagine yourself emerging, like Inanna, from the depths of the darkness below. An overwhelming sense of confidence moves through you, electrifying your body, heart, and mind. You are born again, renewed and whole; cleansed and revitalized by the process of reclaiming your inner power. As you climb up and out of the depths of the cavern, onto the bottom of the canyon, you realize that even more gifts await you. As you reach the canyon floor, you see your inner Warrioress as a goddess or strong woman waiting for you, standing proud under a tree that glows. She leads you to the tree and performs a sacred dance around you, imbuing you with power as energy streams through your body. She hands you tools that represent your power. One of the sacred tools is a mask of an animal; this is your personal guardian and power animal that will assist you on the climb, flight, or dance up the canyon to reach your inner garden that awaits. As you begin your climb, you smile. The sun is brilliant, the sky endless blue, and your heart sings as you know that you are not alone, that you are power-full.
Once we have reclaimed our power through initiation, we are ready to embrace our inner Warrioress, the one who helps us by firmly holding our power in place. The Warrioress does not back down from those people or past events that seek to suppress or oppress her. She is comfortable with the dark mother and her shadow; she can effectively turn pain into power and is gleeful to do so. An empowered Warrioress has overcome her abuse, her violations of the past, her trauma, her illness, and been restored victorious. The Warrioress here comes in the form of Artemis, the moon goddess of the hunt who runs with wild abandon in virgin forests. She teaches us the power to say no and set clear boundaries and guides us to call even more power into our lives.
The Warrioress honors her intuitive voice and does not bow down to the “nice girl” projections that are pervasive in our culture. In other words, if a young woman who is expected to follow certain social rules, being a good, productive daughter, instead leaves home, rides a train across America with only a hundred dollars in her pocket, and risks everything to start a new life, you can imagine the Warrioress had something to do with that. The Warrioress manifested in my great-grandmother who, according to family legend, left Hungary because she wasn’t allowed to dance. She made her way to Italy and met up with a family who brought her to America! In America she danced, had children, and created a completely new life for herself, remaining quite feisty throughout her life and passing on at the ripe old age of 104. Her long white hair, sharp eyes, and peculiar manner of speaking left an indelible imprint on my young self. Every family certainly has its rebel black sheep and women who have boldly tried something new.
Even amidst the most repressed of social mores, we find the Warrioress. I was pleased to learn that the first Western people to turn the addictive and stimulating cocoa drink of the Mayans into a sweet and milky delight was a group of French Catholic nuns! They became so enamored of it that even the ban that was put into place by the Vatican was completely ignored by those chocolate-loving nuns. The Warrioress has a wondrous sense of humor as well.
Sometimes, Warrioress power is mistaken for the negative feminine such as the wily bitch or the voracious whore. These roles are played out time and time again in contemporary stories but have roots in a distant past. There is a strange image from history that illuminates the fear of woman power, the vagina dentate. This peculiar icon of a toothed vagina that lurks in corners, waiting to seduce men, and then bite down unexpectedly was used by medieval Christianity to symbolize the gates of hell. This is an especially disturbing aspect of the shadow time when women were seen as being in consort with the devil. I think a reclaiming of such an image might just boost our inner Warrioress; I am envisioning a t-shirt with a toothed vagina and the saying, “No more nice girl.” Imagine for a moment if our vaginas did have teeth, such as retractable teeth that could be extended at will. Rape would certainly disappear!7 This feisty quality in women is often still demonized today. We all know the local woman who drinks too much, engages in “inappropriate” sex, comes up with wild and glamorous schemes—in essence embodies the potentiated creative force. This kind of woman is often made a scapegoat. I have seen a modern-day form of witch burning happen several times in places I have lived, where the wild actions of these women were both intensely attractive and repulsive to the people around her. If something goes awry in the community, you can bet she is there, the Warrioress, the slicer of illusions, wreaking havoc and reminding us of those very un–good girl qualities that reside in each of us.
Saying No
Sometimes, to remain true to the power of the Warrioress, we have to say no. As women, many of us fall into the pattern of fearing the outcome if we say no. We may be worried or anxious about how others will react if we say no to the various demands that our family, friends, and community ask of us. Yet, we cannot truly own and work from a place of power until we learn how to say no. We are blessed to live in a country where we are mostly free to choose what we want to do with our lives, careers, relationships, and spiritual development; many women around the world do not have these opportunities. Thus, we have an even greater responsibility to choose things that empower and nourish us.
Often we become attached to our way of doing a myriad of activities and then identify ourselves as the one who provides things for everyone else. For example, I often prepare and host ceremonies and circles for the moons, seasons, and celebratory events. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by this work, although it is very natural for me to do it; sometimes I have to simply not act on my impulse to always create ceremony for others so that I have energy for my own internal work and my writing. Loosening our attachments or compulsions and feeling we must act is necessary to grow the power of the Warrioress within. Part of this is recognizing that life carries on just fine without our input. If we can step back from that impulse to act, we can allow ourselves to rest for a moment. Bringing this spaciousness into our days inevitably empowers us to then act with clarity and strength rather than from a place of neediness, compulsion, or fear of hurting others’ feelings.
The Warrioress is brilliant in her power and does not care what others think. This may sound harsh, yet we actually benefit more people by coming from an empowered space which illuminates our relationships rather than draining them. Part of this process of becoming powerful is recognizing the people who assist in our development and those who may not benefit us. Just as we might stop eating certain foods that do not feel good in our body, we may want to set intentions to peacefully dissolve relations that do not nourish us. Yet, we must realize that this dissolution is temporary; we cannot simply cancel out all things that we perceive as harmful. But once we regain our strength and our inner Warrioress, we can work from a place that comes from pure, clear awareness and can then meet all kinds of obstacles
Boundary Circle
This is a simple exercise that visually helps you see who and what is really crucial to your life. Draw a circle on a piece of blank paper. Inside the circle, write down the people and activities you feel currently committed to. Outside the circle, write down the people and things you feel are draining and not nourishing you. This also enables you to see who and what you are giving your energy to. The purpose of this exercise is to help you see and clarify what is in your life and better choose things that are empowering. Often we spend time with people or doing things that are not totally fulfilling. It is important to remember this is a temporary circle, not something that defines you for the rest of your life. Some of the people and things outside of the circle will inevitably be part of your circle once again; perhaps you simply need a breather. After a few weeks, you can burn the circle and create a new one as you see fit. Use the circles to refine what it is in your life that you really want to focus on. The more energy you put toward the people and activities within your circle, the more empowered you will feel.
Artemis
The worship of Artemis dates from deep in our ancient history, as long ago as the Paleolithic (circa 10,000 bce). She was originally worshipped as the goddess of the wild animals and is the deity with the oldest roots among the Greek gods and goddesses. Her name is not Greek but comes from the Mycenaean language and Minoan goddesses of Crete. Original statues of Artemis depict massive wings, linking her to the bird goddesses. Artemis was often carved out of black stone and displayed many breasts, a dark mother portraying her multitude of qualities including power and nourishment. She was associated with the hunt and was often portrayed with hunting dogs. She was also connected to the Great She-Bear, which is found in the night sky as Ursa Major. Her devotion to wilderness and her vow to never marry are inspiring to our own inner Warrioress.
Artemis of the Wild
Artemis was born to her powerful father Zeus and beautiful mother Leto, a mistress of Zeus. She was the first-born of twins. After her birth, Artemis aided her mother in her nine-day struggle to give birth to her twin brother, Apollo. Artemis experienced the fear and power associated with birth and knew she did not want to have children of her own.
Artemis grew into a beautiful and strong girl. Her face shone with power and grace, just like the moon she ruled over. When Artemis was three, Zeus asked her what she wanted most, and she replied, “I want the wilderness as my special place, a bow and arrow to hunt with, a short tunic to run in, a band of nymphs to accompany me, a pack of hounds, and to never, ever get married.” Zeus, impressed with her zeal and directness, granted her the gifts of a huntress and promised that she would remain unmarried for all of her life.
When Artemis was full grown, she loved to run wild in the forests. She was often seen with a deer or stag and knew intimately the power of the hunter as well as the fear of being hunted. Sometimes Artemis took the role of the great bear protector or the wild boar destroyer. She loved the wilderness so dearly and took great care that no one harmed or tainted its natural beauty.
One day Artemis was bathing nude in one of her favorite streams. The hunter Actaeon crept up through the foliage and spotted the beautiful naked goddess, water streaming over her body. Artemis enjoyed her bath for a few more minutes but knew instantly she was being watched. Suddenly she turned around and with a fierce and wild look in her eye she transformed Actaeon into a stag. Frightened, the stag Actaeon fled. Artemis commanded his own hounds to chase him, and they pursued him over hills and valleys until they caught him and viciously tore him to pieces. Artemis smiled at her own unmaking of the insensitive hunter and finished her bath.
Keys to the Tale
Artemis was known as the “lady of the wild mountains,” the goddess of the wildest places both in nature and in our hearts. She is the goddess of the moon and the night, shining down onto the dense forests that once covered the earth, illuminating the forest floor and its creatures that lived there. She is distinctly connected with the wild animals and beasts and often portrayed walking with a stag or a doe or even appearing herself as a great mother bear with her baby. She is the guardian of the most remote places, the lonely mountain tops, the meadows filled with wildflowers, the roaring streams in uninhabited forests, and the darkness of night and clarity of a star-filled sky. Artemis is a pure Warrioress, clear in her intent and wild in her ambitions.
Paradoxically, Artemis, who never gave birth to her own children, was also the goddess of childbirth. This was because she helped her mother for nine days to birth her twin brother. She gained intimate experience with the process of childbirth and was called upon by women in ancient Greece to assist them in their own labors. Artemis was extremely young when she helped her mother (just after her own birth) and was given the immense responsibility of assisting birth. Many of us, as young girls, have also been given responsibility that seemed overwhelming, such as caring for younger children, protecting ourselves or others from negative or traumatic family situations, or perhaps an understanding of the world that may have seemed frightening for our young years. This is not uncommon for girl children, who are often exposed to grown-up issues earlier than boys. Reaching back and reclaiming our own traumas and reframing them as gifts or powers imbued upon us is an important way to empower our inner selves. Just as we explored reclaiming an initiation, I encourage you to also work on the reclaiming of hard lessons learned as a young child. You can use the same methods in Chapter Two to transform what you may perceive as a negative childhood experience into a powerful gift that, like Artemis, can be used to help yourself as well as other women.
Artemis, at the tender age of three, makes very specific requests from her father. She asks for the wilderness, a bow and arrow, a short tunic, a band of nymphs, a pack of hounds, and, most importantly, to remain unmarried. Artemis is the sacred maiden or virgin goddess, a powerful aspect of our inner Warrioress. The true meaning of the word virgin, according to the research of Sjöö and Mor, is that “ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man—a woman who was ‘one-in-herself.’ The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill … Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all called virgins, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence.”8 Artemis represents that clear, untouched part, the virgin territory, the unclaimed spirit that resides within each of us regardless of what has happened in our lives. This is crucial in our reclaiming process, to revisit this powerful part that yearns to be in connection with our wildness, our instinctive self. This is also a reminder that, like Artemis, we don’t really need a partner. That does not mean a partner doesn’t enhance our life in beautiful and strengthening ways, as my own husband does for me, but we are powerful on our own terms. Looking inward for resources, rather than outward for validation, empowers us.
Artemis explores her wilderness sometimes with her pack of hounds and other times with a deer or stag. This symbolizes both the hunted and the hunter; thus she is paradoxical in nature. Artemis reflects the double-edged sword of sacrifice and pursuit. Knowing the balance of these two qualities is part of the power of the Warrioress. Sometimes we must sacrifice aspects of our inner desires for the well-being of our family, children, and community. But at other times, we need to maintain what is right for us and nourishes our own power and stay true to that, regardless of others’ views. Cultivating the quality of discernment enables us to know when to act and when to sacrifice aspects of our selves for the whole.
In one of Artemis’s most famous stories, she turns the hunter Actaeon into a stag to be hunted by his own hounds. Although it might seem outrageous, a violent goddess tearing a man to pieces to protect her own chastity, we can find a well of inspiration from this small but potent story. The Warrioress is evident here, in that she is not only defending herself from prying eyes, she is giving the peeper a taste of his own medicine. Sometimes this kind of ferocity is of utmost importance in a world that continues to oppress the feminine, women, and children. Although we are making progress in undoing the damage of the last several millennia, on a global scale women are still targets for hideous crimes such as rape camps, sex trafficking, bride burning, obscene pornography such as snuff films, and so on. In fact, it is important to fire up the inner Warrioress at times and take action against these crimes. Each year more women and children are sold into sexual slavery than the entire number of people sold during the trans-Atlantic slave trade of a hundred years! Some ways we can make change are to donate to organizations working on women’s issues; incorporate healing of these situations into our ceremonies; stand up and defend ourselves when we are harassed verbally or physically; teach our daughters how to be fearless and teach our sons how to honor women. We can make magic with our sacred feminine power and become the change we wish to see.
In her book Awakening the Warrior Within, Dawn Callan discusses the reality that when a woman is victimized or raped, there is an energy at work from both sides. I am in no way suggesting that a woman is responsible for an attack or rape, but I am saying that after thousands of years of abuse and oppression the mentality of victimhood may be hardwired into our minds and bodies. Callan comments on the fact that many women in her workshops heard a voice coming into their head saying something like, “Just let it happen, it’ll be over soon” when they were attacked. This may seem shocking, yet this has happened to countless women as well as men. Just as we must work to reframe trauma into power, we must also retrain our minds so that in serious incidents, our reaction is not one of quiet submission, but rather fierce reaction. Just as Artemis uses her infinite power to destroy Actaeon, we too can stand up for what is right. Using our inner Warrioress provides the opportunity to act power-filled, even if it means standing fierce and wild, not necessarily pleasing others, or always being so kind.
Artemis was often depicted in the form of the Great Bear, a fierce animal who also lovingly suckles its infants. In ancient Greece, young women performed dances for Artemis wearing bear masks to honor her fierce power. In shamanic cultures it is believed that we are all empowered by one or more animal guides that work as personal totems or guardians. Traditional cultures use the guardian spirit for strength to carry us through the pain of life. Additional guardian spirits are discovered during the time of initiation such as a vision quest or a menses ceremony. In today’s fast-paced, mechanistic world, we may be disconnected from our nature and our power source. From the shamanic perspective, depression, fear, alienation, and illness, all common symptoms of modern society, result from a loss of power and even soul loss. By reconnecting with our guardian spirit animal, we call in power that serves as protection and kindles the fire of our inner Warrioress. Connecting our subconscious with a guardian spirit or power animal sends a clear message to our conscious mind that we are fearless and know the right action as Warrioress in different stages of our life.
Finding a Guardian Spirit
This exercise enables you to reclaim a guide or power animal and helps you get in touch with your animal-like nature. If we look around us, we see that animals are in harmony with their world. They do not over-consume or make vast amounts of useless products to “ease” their lifestyle. They simply breathe, eat, live, and if nature forces them to change, they evolve. We, especially in Western culture, still have a lot to relearn about deeply connecting with animals. When we look at ancient history, we find not only Artemis but many gods and goddesses who are associated with animals and their aspects. These animals are not just symbolic; they are used as omens, guides, and messengers between the realms. For example, the eagle may symbolize the east or new ideas and the ability to see the big picture, as well as offering guidance on how to begin something new or which direction to follow in life.
You may have different kinds of guardians, spirit guides, as well as your ancestors, such as the ones you connected with in Exercise 2.1. However, connecting with an animal guide can really help you tap your power as well as helping to protect you. Although it may seem that the animal is an aspect of you—and certainly it is on some level—still these guardians have a very real presence in your life once you connect with them and should be treated with respect. You may have significant dreams about them, see or find parts of them in nature, or simply have the sense that they are with you. You can honor their presence by building an altar to them, painting a picture, or dancing to celebrate their power.
Guardian spirits enter our lives and work with us in specific ways: as a totem that is with us throughout life, as a medicine animal that comes for a shorter time for a specific reason, and as a direct connection to our natural environment. A totem or lifelong guardian spirit is often an animal that we have felt a kinship for a long time with, perhaps since our childhood. When I was little, I was obsessed with collecting owl figurines and grew up surrounded by this image—a fitting goddess image, I was to discover much later. A guardian spirit that comes into our life for a shorter period of time helps us during transitions and gives us specific medicine or power for that time. For example, we may be grieving the loss of a loved one and find that the warmth of mother bear and her instinct to hibernate comforts our inner psyche. Another way a power animal might appear in our lives is one that is associated with visionary power, and directly connected with the natural world we live in. In the weeks just before I moved to Hawai’i, I had two dreams of a white hawk that came to bless me and give me specific information. Upon arriving in the islands, I noticed a hawk, called ‘io in native Hawai’ian, that is white when it is young. We named our house ‘Io Estate, and two days after this naming, three hawks turned up and perched in the yard for a few hours.
To connect with your guardian spirit, first set up your altar and create sacred space. Perhaps include an image of Artemis, the Lady of the Beasts, or other images that represent a connection to the animal and creature realms. Light candles and burn some incense if you like. You may wish to do this exercise alone or with a group. Lie down and slowly relax your body, one body part at a time, by saying either out loud softly or in your mind, “I relax my feet … my feet are completely relaxed,” and so on with each part of the body, including your organs, all the way up to the top of your head. In doing this, you are able to sink into an altered state of consciousness. This can also be achieved through drumming or repetitive sound. You can have someone in a group situation lead the visualization, tape this section and play it back, or simply remember it and follow it in your mind.
Your body is deeply relaxed. Now visualize that you are at the top of a flight of stairs going down. State in your mind your intention to go down into the lower realm to find a guardian spirit. Descend down the stairs slowly, counting backwards from ten to one. As you reach one, there will be a door. Go through the door and into a garden. Spend some time in this garden; notice the flowers, the trees, the light, and the smells. Wander around the garden, feeling the soft breeze on your skin and the warmth of the sun or coolness of the night. Notice a body of water in the garden, a stream or pond or fountain. Refresh yourself for a while there, letting all your cares wash away in the cool water, then lie in the sun, completely relaxed and rejuvenated. After some time, get up and walk toward a field.
As you approach the center of the field, you will be met by a guardian spirit or power animal. Feel the presence of this spirit and be open to any messages from your guardian. A message may come audibly, visually, or through knowing. Be open to receiving a gift from your guardian spirit such as an object, a dance,, or song. You may feel the need to play or explore this realm with your animal. You nan do so, or you can return to find out more information as needed. When you are finished, make sure to thank your guardian and send back love in gratitude.
Then return to your garden and revisit the water for a moment, then the flowers, trees, and everything else there. When you are ready, start to come back to the door and go through. Count back up to ten, climbing the stairs one at a time. When you reach the top, slowly come back into normal consciousness, stretching your body and slowly sitting up. Write down what you have experienced and remember the guardian spirit has now made contact with you.
This is only one way to visit a guardian spirit in the lower realms. I was trained in my shamanic studies to retrieve a power animal using the steady beat of a drum to alter my consciousness. Experiment until you find what works for you. It is also important to keep in mind that some people do not “see” anything on the journey, but have more of a knowing, a feeling or sensation. Others may hear something, such as voices or songs or instruments that give information. This is all part of the process of learning to trust and use your intuitive voice. Once you have established contact with your guardian, signs may appear to connect you to your spirit. You might encounter the animal or bird you met, or you may dream of this spirit guide. Remember to honor and nourish the connection by dancing the spirit, building an altar, and continuing to journey to the guardian for further information.
Masked Dance Ceremony
This ceremony is an act of power and a way to honor your guardian spirit and draw in further protection. Traditionally, cultures have performed masked dances to gather power, consult oracles or cast divinations, and celebrate the major turning points of life in a village. The mask is a way to dissolve your smaller self and grow powerfully into spirit. When you put on your mask, the person or identities that you habitually create dissolve, and a powerful, archetypal self emerges, infused by the energy of the guardian spirit.
Before beginning the ceremony, set aside time to create your mask. This project is even more fun with your women’s group and can be incorporated into one of your gatherings. You can make a mask in several ways. One way is to use simple paper materials with string to attach it. Another way is to use embedded plaster strips. You can buy the strips at any local art store. You must make this kind of mask with at least one other person who can form the mask on your face. This mask feels even more powerful because it will fit your face perfectly. Simply follow the directions on the package for first cutting the strips, then wetting them and laying them across the person’s face. After the mask dries, decorate it with paint, glitter, feathers, jewelry, clay, or any material you see fit to express your guardian spirit.
The ceremony can be done any time of the year and is nice to do under a waxing or full moon so the power of the moon enhances the dance. Gather together the following items: your mask(s); four candles for the four cardinal directions or wood for an outdoor fire if that is possible; offerings for the four directions as well as offerings for mother earth, father sky, and center; drums and rhythm makers.
The ceremony is very simple after you have prepared your mask. If you are doing this ceremony outside, first prepare the fire. Have one person (or more) be the drummer or sound maker for the ceremony. You can also provide rattles and drums for each person in the group or have them bring their own. If it is only you, then use a drumming CD or your own sound maker for this ceremony.
Next, call in the directions and create sacred space. If you are having a fire, stand around the fire in a circle and call in the seven directions of east, south, west, north, mother earth, father sky, and center and give offerings. If there is no fire, then use the four candles and give offerings to all seven directions. If it is a larger group, you may have one person for each direction, or perhaps two or three different people assigned to two or more directions. Once the directions have been called, then create sacred space, visualizing an area large enough for the dance surrounded by brilliant blue circle.
The drummers then start to beat a slow drumbeat. Everyone puts on their mask and begins to move to the drumbeat. At the moment that you put on the mask, simply send out the intention to call in your guardian spirit to your body. Open your body to receiving your guardian spirit and dancing this source of power. Slowly the drumbeat speeds up. People can pick up their own rattles, drums, or sound makers and make sound as they begin to move around the fire. The dance continues for a half hour or more, depending on the music makers. Feel the energy of your guardian flowing through you as you dance and move and bring the power of this animal through you. Notice the other dancers with their masks and how they transform in the firelight.
After a long session of dancing, the drummers slow the beat as you integrate yourself back into the present moment. Thank the guardian spirit and then lie down to receive any further messages from the spirit. The drummer can continue drumming as you open to feeling the power move through you, connecting you to both earth and spirit.
The drummer finally stops and there are several moments of silence. Each of the direction callers thanks the directions, releases them, and dissolves the sacred space. Finally, remove your mask and hold it against your heart. Feel the power move through you over the next day and pay attention to your dreams, where you are often visited by your guardian spirits.
7. Since writing this, I have discovered that a woman has actually developed a toothed condom to put inside a woman’s vagina as protection against the high rates of rape in South Africa. When I wrote this, it was months before this story surfaced, but it is interesting to note that perhaps there is more to this image after all. See http://articles.cnn.com/2010-06-20/world/south.africa .female.condom for more.
8. Sjöö and Mor, p. 158.