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The Bodhisattva
Developing Compassion
Wherever in the Three Worlds a womanly form is seen, that is said to be my form, whether she belongs to a low family or not low … Each in her own form is resolute in benefiting all living beings … When those women are honored, they give [success] instantly to those who desire the welfare of all beings. Therefore one should honor women.
–The Candamaharosana Tantra
Imagine you sit up upon the rock, filled to the brim with vital life force from your beautiful garden, the flowing water below, the warmth of the sun and the stone, the touch of a loving spirit. The energy grows and grows within, becoming a powerful sphere of love, a ball of immense loving potency. You know intuitively that this loving energy is fueled by your own power and love and capable of healing others as well. Your guide or friend places his or her hands on your back and you feel even more energy flow through you; it becomes so strong that you know you must share this inner love with others. You open your mouth and allow a long tone of beauty to come forth, emanating the love through your voice. You open your heart and hands and visualize this loving energy flowing through you and outward into your garden, then encompassing your canyon. Imagine this flowing, loving light moving out to the people you love, your community, your country, and finally the entire world. Offer this loving light as a gift to the mother earth in deep thanks for your path as a woman on this planet now. Offer yourself as a Bodhisattva to do the work needed to help all beings on earth find their own inner enlightenment. Know that you are loving and powerful.
As we move into the deepest aspects of love, supported by power and healing, we come to a place of inner wise loving. We are inspired by the loving wisdom held by the compassionate Bodhisattva. The Bodhisattva archetype is a loving being who forgoes his or her enlightenment for the sake of freeing all sentient beings from delusion and suffering. This kind of intense sacrifice is one of the most powerful forms of love on the planet and is akin to the deep love that a mother holds for her child. This is the loving aspect of the sacred feminine that acts from a place of pure open-heartedness, clarity, and with generosity that springs forward to positively affect others.
Our inner Bodhisattva is deeply empathic toward all beings on earth and can tap into the pain and suffering of those who have experienced loss, separation, sorrow, and trauma. This empathy is often expressed by women, both physically and psychologically. Our bodies and minds are hardwired to empathize with the world around us and nurture our family, friends, and community. This deep empathy is what Starhawk calls immanence and is similar to the concept of interconnectedness found in Buddhist philosophy. When we flow with the awareness of our interconnectedness, our feeling of being separate in a space of suffering naturally dissolves into a loving presence. Our inner Bodhisattva reminds us we are connected to everything: the wind, the rain, the whales and their song, our lover, our children, the mountain, the breath that moves in and out of each of us.
The Bodhisattva not only sacrifices her own enlightenment, she is also committed to clearly understanding what will benefit others. Similarly, women often sacrifice aspects of their small selves to benefit the greater good, using their inner Bodhisattva. When we work with the truth of love, we find that often what people need is simpler than what we think they need. In other words, activating the inner Bodhisattva allows for a great spacious love to arise, one that can hear the woes and suffering of others and transmute that suffering into compassion by simply being present. In this chapter, Quan Yin takes the form of the Bodhisattva and offers help without personal recognition or expectation.
The Foundational Practice
After we have done ceremony and exercises to activate the Healer and Consort, we can form a more stable practice to focus our inner love with clarity and awareness. We do this by using breath and sitting meditation. Many of my students over the years say, “Oh, I tried to meditate but I just can’t. My mind is running all over the place, I’ll never be someone who meditates.” But it is crucial to understand that all of us have minds that run all over the place, that jump from one thing to another. We dash to work, to home, to chores, to entertainment, then lie listless and check out, glad to be able to escape ourselves, without ever allowing ourselves to simply be. It is tiring just to think about! We may do heaps of ritual and circling and dancing and breathing, but if we have not really come to a place that is still and allowed our hearts to truly open, we will not know our truest, deepest joy. Disciplining ourselves to be still and quiet each day sows potent seeds for our hearts to open with compassion and experience the love of the inner Bodhisattva.
Focusing on the Breath
A simple meditation that can help you center is based on what is available to all of us right now: the breath. This quiet practice enables you to be with yourself for a few moments and allows space into the chaotic mind. First thing in the morning is ideal, but any time is suitable. If you can sit each day at the same time, this helps to stabilize the practice and you will experience more benefits. Choose a space that is quiet where you won’t be disturbed. Your altar space is perfect. If you are uncomfortable sitting on the floor, use a chair. The point is to be still and quiet without struggling too much. If you are fine on the floor, make sure you use cushions for support, so that it is easier to straighten your spine. If you can, sit in lotus, half lotus, or simply cross your legs. If you are in the chair, rest your feet flat on the floor. Keep your spine straight and relax your shoulders. Make sure your chin is slightly tucked in and rest your hands either on your knees or in your lap, your right hand inside your left. Notice any tension as you sit like this. You may feel tension immediately in your belly, back, or hips. Allow it to be there, do not judge or criticize. Bring your attention mindfully to the breath. Allow thoughts to float through the mind, like clouds in the sky. When you notice your mind wandering off and daydreaming, simply bring the attention back to the breath. You will do this hundreds of times in your first twenty minutes and it soon will become tiring. This is normal. This is a bit of work! Continue to bring your attention back to your breath. After sitting, trying not to move throughout, you may want to close the session with a simple dedication for the benefit of all beings or for the earth. This allows you to stretch your heart for a moment, to remember not to focus on yourself and to water the seed of compassion within.
Real meditation is not simply spacing out and having a nice dreamy bliss time, it is being with yourself right now and right here with what really is. It may take several weeks before you begin to notice a difference, but certainly you will. You may see that you are noticing your breath more often throughout the day, that you take time to be quiet between activities. With time you will come to cherish that quiet moment first thing in the morning, and eventually it will permeate your day and your being.
Quan Yin
All over Asia, people honor Quan Yin, the compassionate Bodhisattva who carries the pearls of loving illumination. Her name means She-Who-Hearkens-to-the-Cries-of-the-World. Like Mami Wata, she is associated with water and is shown pouring a stream of healing water from her vase, blessing beings with physical and spiritual peace. Like Mary and Artemis, she is considered a virgin and is a protectress for women. Quan Yin offers women a religious life as an alternative to marriage and grants children to those who want them. She is also a deity of the wild places, often appearing under a full moon, by ponds and willow trees, and brings rain and nourishment to those in need. Quan Yin evolved from the god Avalokiteshvara, worshipped in India and Tibet. When Avalokiteshvara was first worshipped in China thousands of years ago, he was in the Bodhisattva form of a male Buddha. By the twelfth century, he transformed from a male to a female goddess, the present Quan Yin, perhaps in response to the need for a deeper connection to the sacred feminine.
A Tale of Quan Yin
In the middle of the night, a woman awoke in intense labor and her baby was ready to be born. Her husband, frantic with fear and excitement, prepared to go find the doctor for help. He rushed down to the village as clouds mounted in the distance threatening a terrible storm. At last he reached the doctor’s house but was dismayed to discover that the doctor had gone to another village. He searched through the small town and finally found a midwife who was willing to come with him to help his struggling wife.
They hurriedly climbed the mountain together, but clouds continued to gather overhead and it began to snow. As they climbed, the snow swirled strongly, burying all the usual landmarks, and they wandered for some time, losing their way. The husband grew more anxious when he realized they were wandering around in circles. Suddenly, distinctly, they heard the tinkling sound of small bells. He stopped and motioned the midwife to stop. “Do you hear that?” he asked. She nodded, and they paused, exhausted from their efforts.
Out of the white darkness appeared a beautiful woman. Her face was round and illuminated like the moon. “Are you lost?” she asked. They nodded, too awed to answer, and she smiled, saying, “Follow me.”
The man and the midwife followed the lovely woman who glowed in the night. Her shine illuminated the path and melted the snow a bit, making it easier for them to follow the trail behind her. They seemed to arrive at the man’s home in no time and the midwife rushed in to the wife, who was wailing in her birth pain. The man paused and looked at the beautiful woman, saying, “Won’t you come in? It’s so cold out!”
“No, I have to go on.” The snow was lessening, and her beautiful, illuminated form stood out more clearly against the dark night cloaked in snow.
“Let me at least get you a warm drink,” he said and dashed inside to prepare hot tea. He peeked in at his wife who was calm now, her face relaxed, holding the midwife’s hand and resting between contractions. The husband went into the kitchen, heated up the water, and prepared the tea.
When he returned to the door, the snow had stopped. With the tea in hand, he looked out and realized that the glowing woman was gone. The quiet night held only the moon now, and he could clearly see the footprints that led up to the door. With a start he realized there were only two sets of footprints, his own and the midwife’s. A sudden wonder overwhelmed him and he pressed his hand to his heart. He knew it was Quan Yin who had assisted them that night, then disappeared as quietly and quickly as she had appeared.
Keys to the Tale
This is a simple and beautiful story that illustrates the loving qualities of compassionate guidance embodied by Quan Yin. The husband represents the part of us that may feel completely overwhelmed at times in our lives when we need help. Sometimes, help does not come in the form we expect, as the man finds a midwife instead of a doctor. In stressful situations, we may need to stay open to the kind of help we may receive.
Quan Yin, the goddess of childbirth, shows up in association with a midwife. When the husband cannot find the male doctor, he turns to the female midwife to help his wife. As sisters, daughters, and later midwives, women assisted birth for tens of thousands of years. We know that in past cultures, and in some remaining traditional cultures today, women are still primarily assisted by women as they birth children. As the patriarchy rose into power, and male doctors became the norm even for women’s health, midwives were still the birth assistants and herbal healers for the common people. Later, they were completely displaced by doctors and often demonized by the establishment. Many were certainly burned on the witches’ stake during the Inquisition. Still, in times of need, villagers would turn to the midwives, knowing they could rely on their wisdom, which was continuously being threatened. Quan Yin, although often portrayed as quiet and peaceful, is powerfully reminding us to reconnect with the feminine wisdom that has helped birth humans for a long time. In this way, this tale reminds us to be open to assistance that comes from a source that is imbued with the sacred feminine.
After the man finds the midwife, they begin to climb up the mountain, but the snow becomes treacherous and landmarks are indistinguishable. Even on the most familiar paths, we can become lost. Snow, like the goddess, is both beautiful and threatening in this situation. She can confound us with her beauty and make the world unrecognizable. The goddess can also appear at a moment’s notice and guide our way, which Quan Yin does, with the tinkling of bells and moonlit radiance, asking the man and midwife if they are lost. As the Bodhisattva of compassion, she hears and answers the cries of all beings. This book encourages you to call in your guides in the form of ancestors and spirit guardians to help in times of crisis. Often we fall back into the habitual patterns of looking for help in the standard, Western way of the physical reality, but it is useful to remember that help can appear in many forms, such as guides, dreams, and omens.
When they arrive back home, the midwife is able to soothe the wife quickly, reduce her pains, and begin accompanying her on the birth journey. The husband offers tea to Quan Yin, but when he brings it to her, she has gone, disappeared into the snowy night leaving behind no trace, not even her footsteps. This is the beauty of a true Bodhisattva, one who simply shows up and guides the way. She needs no thanks, no gratitude, no acknowledgement of her helpfulness. She is on her way again to assist others, having done what was necessary. This is a vast kind of love, one that does not rely on ego and is given unconditionally. According to Sogyal Rinpoche, a Tibetan Buddhist teacher, “What the world needs more than anything is active servants of peace … dedicated to their bodhisattva vision and to the spreading of wisdom into all reaches of our experience.”20 We all have access to this clear guiding light inside and can call on it to help others in times of crisis. Sometimes it is good practice to help others specifically without them knowing it was you. Then we are not motivated by the need for recognition, but instead practice giving unconditionally.
The Bodhisattva asks us to nourish ourselves and fill our hearts so full that the compassion and love naturally overflow outwardly to the world. When we work to help others, we are practicing karma yoga, or selfless service. Every ashram I have stayed in requires you to perform karma yoga as a way to help out. The goal of this action is to recognize that the simple act of giving service is all the gratitude we need. By learning to cultivate compassion through helping others, we reduce our small self, or ego, and thus become even more filled with love. This can take many forms, and each of us has a particular way to do this through our specific gifts and talents. Quan Yin reminds us to effortlessly serve others in a way that is both joyous and illumined, but without expectation, without needing thanks or appreciation. This is the true work of a Bodhisattva, someone whose every action is performed with clear intention, from the heart.
When our love becomes so powerful, it is like a fire, reaching out to ignite many people of the world. Obstacles are more easily removed, and we can face challenges with strength and grace. The Bodhisattva inspires us to take up the blazing fires of love, to open our hearts so wide that they may burst, and love the world so intensely that it changes and heals and transforms.
Deep Listening
This is another exercise that connects you to inner stillness and the Bodhisattva within. All it requires is a commitment to one day of deep listening. This means that you spend the entire day mindfully being aware of how you pay attention to others. It means that you quietly hold space for them and what they are saying and communicating to you. When you do speak, you can communicate from a place of intention and nourishment.
Choose one day to practice deep listening. When people tell you their stories, issues, and concerns, try not to relate their story to one of your own. Although this is a normal way of connecting to people, try to simply hear their story and hold space for their process. This is not a passive quality, but a kind of active listening. Think of Quan Yin as you do this practice, the Bodhisattva who hears the cries of help, turns up when needed, listens actively, then disappears again. Notice your own mind and how quick it is to jump in with information to add to a conversation, tell your own story, or respond with emotion. Instead of voicing these thoughts, allow them to simply pass through you while in connection with others. This may take some practice. Each time you do add your own comment, notice when you do, and see if it comes from a place of compassion or ego.
In many cultures, including Native American and Tibetan, not saying much is usually associated with wisdom. This is because the deep listener can also see the essence of things and simply be present with what is without commenting on it. This is not easy for many of us, growing up in a world that has continuous running commentary from a variety of mediums. This practice can be even more beneficial if you also refrain from active commenting on your social networking sites and taking instant digital photos, and minimize your phone conversations. We often spend a lot of hours commenting on the world and not as much time simply being in the world. All wisdom and insight come from being; very little comes from chatting.
This exercise can be done throughout the day and not just with other people but with all sounds around you, including both city and natural sounds. As you listen to these sounds, attempt to not judge them but just notice the variety of tones, conversations, music, and other sounds that float through your world. Practice this deep listening once a month to help relieve your mind from its chattering state and allow the art of surrender to move you into a place of quiet and insight. As you practice this, you will find a measure of peace and a deep reservoir of love that wells up within you and naturally pours out to others in your life.
Women Around the World
I spent more than seven years living and traveling throughout India. My husband and I spent much of that time living in Kerala, South India. After the death of our first daughter, Rubybleu Puja, we founded a small nonprofit called the Rubybleu Foundation to help women and children of India and Nepal. We mostly raised funds to give scholarships to girls in higher education, assisted women’s groups in ways to earn extra income for their families, and also gave yearly donations to a health clinic outside of Kathmandu, Nepal. These projects were tiny, really, in the face of larger world problems, but they taught me a lot about women in the third world and women who are indigenous to the land and local culture. Many of these women suffer from intense poverty, suppression, and lack of health and education.
Statistically, women who are educated and empowered have fewer children, which is one of the first crucial steps to changing some of these problems. Women tend to think outside themselves, to care for their family, their children, the community at large. Time and time again when we visited various self-help women’s groups in South India the main complaint was that when the men did make money, it was often spent on alcohol instead of food, medicine, and household supplies. Conversely, when women are given money in the form of microloans they have a high payback rate, as high as 95 percent in some areas of the world. India is currently rooted in a deep patriarchy, one that requires sons to take over the family, care for the aging parents, and give the daughters up in marriage. This system disempowers women so extensively that millions of baby girls are murdered each year, routine abortions of females are common, and girls have less access to education, health care, and social freedom. Ironically, some of the most empowered feminist women I met were Catholic nuns, many of whom had left the crushing oppression of Hinduism in favor of the life of a nun—where they could do social work that they loved and avoid marriage altogether!
Women have come a long way in the last century, but there is a lot more to do. An integral development of the inner Bodhisattva is to not only heal ourselves, but to reach out and lift others as well. Working with the women of India through my foundation provided some of the most powerful experiences of my life. Although women are suffering there, many also have an incredible community even in the face of great adversity. This is very inspiring for someone who comes from a land that is full of (apparent) freedom and immense wealth. I recommend that you become more educated on the women’s issues around the world as they are really all of our issues. Some great organizations that are working with women include the Global Fund for Women and CARE, listed in the resources section of this book. Remembering that we are all connected and taking action to help empower women is loving action that activates the Bodhisattva within.
A Ceremony to Send Healing
This is a simple ceremony to send healing love to others. Be sure to ask permission before performing a ceremony such as this. If you cannot get permission, do not send healing to a person; instead, choose to send healing to the earth.
Gather together the following items:
- Four candles for the four cardinal directions
- Offerings for the directions as well as offerings for mother earth, father sky, and center
- A separate, larger candle to symbolize healing energy
- A picture or symbol of what you plan to send healing to, either the person or a picture of the earth
Decorate your altar with healing, soothing colors and perhaps include an image of Quan Yin, Mami Wata, or other healing deity.
Turn off the lights and light a candle to focus your gaze. Call in the four directions as well as earth, sky, and center to create sacred space. Then take a moment to ground yourself. If you know a specific grounding exercise, you can use that. Otherwise, you can become grounded through your breath and being aware of your body. Close your eyes and tune into the breath. Allow your awareness to drop down into the base of the spine, where your sit bones are touching the chair or cushion. Focus the breath on this area for a few moments, intending a sense of grounding or connectedness to the earth. You can imagine a cord of light extending from your body into the earth, connecting you to the pulse or rhythm of the planet. Focus your breath down through this cord into the very center of the earth, imagining energy coming up from the earth and into your body. Feel the warmth and presence of the earth in your body for a few moments. This will keep you grounded and connected to the earth as you perform your healing work.
Once you feel grounded, face the image and candle and state aloud that your healing intention is for the benefit of the recipient or the earth. Then hold up your hands, facing the image and close your eyes. You may keep your hands raised in the air or rest them on your knees, but keep the palms facing the image. If you are healing the earth, you may hold your palms facing downward toward the earth’s surface. It is important to remain comfortable, so see what works best. Concentrate on the breath for a few moments.
As you breathe in, imagine yourself filling with golden, clear light from the earth below you and the sky above you. Allow this clear light to fill up in your heart center for several minutes. Let the golden light grow larger and larger, filling up the entire room. Then, when you feel completely full of this light, imagine it moving through space toward the recipient. You can either imagine the recipient there in front of you, or simply look at the picture and imagine it flowing into the image. Continue sending the light with the breath for ten to fifteen minutes. As you inhale, imagine yourself continuously filling up with light; as you exhale, it flows into the person or the earth. Visualize the person or the earth healthy and relieved of illness or issue. See him or her dancing in joy and light or see the earth healthy and full of vital life force. Then, close the healing connection by stating aloud, “This healing session is now finished. I disengage from healing.” This is to make sure we do not stay connected and brings us back to the present moment. If you feel the need to, you may dedicate the practice to all beings, so that it helps everyone in the universe. When you are finished, blow out the healing candle. Finally, release the directions and dissolve the sacred space.
20. Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, p. 368.