there’s no way I’m gonna make this team, I told myself as I watched the Gym Dawgs work out. The upperclassmen were performing like professional athletes, effortlessly utilizing techniques I had been struggling with for years.
I knew I was good, but these women were world-class gymnasts. I’d seen them compete on television many times. I was just a small-town girl with a dream. How could I hope to keep up?
“Come on,” Nadia said, gesturing for me to join her on the mat where she was doing stretches. “Let’s work out together.”
“No, no, you go ahead. I’m going to stretch out over there.” I pointed to a corner near the bleachers where I didn’t think anyone would notice me.
Nadia caught up with me before I was halfway to my corner. “What’s going on with you? Are you OK?”
One of the gymnasts, who had just finished an incredible routine on the parallel bars, scowled at me. “She’s scared! Little girl should go back to the community gym. I don’t think she’s ready to play in the big league.”
Nadia defended me. But I just stood there trembling. I couldn’t say a thing because I knew the girl was right. I was frightened. At that moment I wanted to walk out of the gym and forget about trying to become a Gym Dawg. It was going to take too much work for me to get even close to good enough. Whatever made me think I could make this team?
“Come on,” Nadia said as she pulled me back toward the mat.
I focused straight ahead, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone, certain that they were all staring at me. I wanted to yell out, “Hey, I don’t care what you big, bad people think; I’m gonna make this team.” But I couldn’t say it because I didn’t believe it.
I knew I couldn’t just walk away, so I began stretching with Nadia.
The upperclassmen kept whispering taunts behind my back. Finally one girl walked up to me and said, “I hear you’re pretty good on the beam. Why don’t you show us what you’ve got?”
Everyone but Nadia snickered.
Suddenly I felt the same way I had back in grade school when I was the last kid to be picked for the softball team.
I walked up to the beam, my stomach doing cartwheels. As soon as I mounted, I fell right off. Everyone snickered. If I could have crawled under the mat and disappeared, I would have. But I was determined not to give up.
I jumped back up on the beam, but within seconds, I fell again. The taunts increased in volume and intensity. Assistant Coach Ide told everyone to be quiet and encouraged me to try once more. I did. But halfway through the routine, I fell a third time.
I hunched my shoulders against the barrage of angry, discouraging words and crept to the back of the group. Summer Love, the cute African-American girl, brushed by me and stepped onto the mat. Seizing the opportunity I’d left open to her, she started showing off her skills.
She moved across the floor with precision and grace. I didn’t know if rhythm came easily to her because she was black or because she was a naturally good dancer or because she had worked hard and taken lessons for years. But whatever the reason, she looked awesome.
“Wow,” I heard several people whisper as they watched her beautiful dance routine.
When Summer finished, Nadia performed an outstanding uneven bar routine. As I watched, my heart was thrilled to see such a magnificent performance. But at the same time my spirit was sinking as I watched my chances of making the team dwindle into nothingness.
Just then a voice whispered in my ear, “Nice going, Shadrach.” I turned and saw Summer standing close beside me. “I was nervous about getting that last spot, but after watching your pitiful performance, I know I’ll get in. You might as well give up now.”
I felt my pulse start racing. I had no intention of just giving up!
I headed straight for the balance beam. I’d show everyone in this room, including that instigator Summer Love, exactly what I could do.
As soon as I reached the beam, Coach Burrows caught my eye and nodded in the direction of her office.
I followed her in. As soon as the door was closed, I asked, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” she said. “I just needed to speak with you.” She sat behind her desk and motioned for me to take a seat too, which I did. “I don’t like what I’m seeing from you, Laurel.”
“I’m pretty disappointed with my performance too,” I admitted, focusing on the carpet.
“You can’t let outside distractions deter you from staying focused. You have to find a way to maintain your composure.”
I looked up at her. She looked genuinely concerned for me.
Coach Burrows stood, walked toward me, and leaned against the corner of her desk. “You’re a dynamic young lady with a lot of talent. Tune the upperclassmen out. You’re a freshman; they’re just trying to make it tough on you. You’ve got to learn how to ignore them.”
But, I wanted to say, if I ignore everybody, they’ll never accept me. I wanted so much to fit in with the team. That was one of the main reasons I came to the University of Georgia.
“Now,” she continued, crossing her arms, “I’ve heard you have a few extracurricular activities going on.”
“Only one,” I corrected her. “I joined a sorority.”
“That’s fine. But most top gymnasts find they don’t have time for anything other than classes and practice.” She handed me a sheet of white paper. I gave her a puzzled expression, then looked at the sheet. On it was a typed roster of the gymnastics team. At the bottom was one blank spot. “I’d honestly like to see your name on that last line, Laurel.”
“I want that too,” I said.
She walked behind her desk again. “Then don’t overload yourself with other activities. If you want that last slot, you’ve got to earn it.”
“I promise,” I said with determination, “my sorority activities will not interfere with my gymnastics performance.”
She looked at me for a long moment, weighing my words. “All right, then,” she said, giving me a quick nod and a slight smile. “Get back to practicing.”
_____________________
“Come on, Jewels,” I said as my suite mate stood in the bathroom wiping green gunk off her face. “We’re going to be late.” I’d promised Jewels we could go to the first pledge class meeting together, but she was taking forever to get ready.
“It’s almost six o’clock,” I told her, hoping that would hurry her up. She still had curlers in her hair and was wearing a robe and bunny slippers.
I didn’t want to go to the meeting alone, but I didn’t want to be late either. “I’m just going to walk,” I said.
“Fine,” Jewels replied, blotting her face with a towel. “If you can’t wait a few more minutes, then go. I have a feeling I’m going to be nominated for pledge class president, so I want to look my cutest.”
“I’ll see you at the sorority house,” I said, grabbing my purse. “Even with you driving and me walking, I’m sure I’ll beat you there.”
“What route are you taking?” she asked as she squirted toothpaste on her toothbrush. “If I see you along the way, I’ll stop and pick you up.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, looking at my watch again. “The meeting starts in twenty minutes. It’ll only take me ten to walk there. You won’t even be out of the house for another half hour.” I picked up my pledge book and hurried out the door.
When I neared the sorority house, I noticed that all the other new pledges wore clothes in our sorority colors, burgundy and green, just like I did. There were thirty girls in our group, and I was eager to get to know everyone.
As I started up the stairs to the house, two girls I remembered seeing at the pledge activities came up to me.
“Hi,” the shorter one said with a bright grin. “My name is Jill. I’m from South Carolina.”
“My name’s Mandelyn,” the taller girl said, her slight smile revealing the glint of braces. “I’m from Alabama.”
“We’re roommates,” Jill told me. “Same dorm as you, one floor above.”
“That’s great!” I exclaimed, excited to meet two new friends.
The three of us signed in at the door and then entered the living room, where several other pledges were already mingling.
When I told Jill and Mandelyn that I was a gymnast, they acted really excited and asked all kinds of questions. As I talked about my sport, more girls listened in. I started feeling self-conscious about being the center of attention, but everyone seemed genuinely interested in me, and it felt great.
Finally deciding to let someone else talk, I asked if anyone else in the group was trying out for a sport. A few of the girls started talking about women’s basketball. I listened for a while, then decided to go get some punch.
As I passed the foyer, I overheard Liza, the pledge director, tell Julie Anne that only twenty-nine pledges had signed in. A knot formed in my stomach. I knew which girl was late.
“I can’t believe my sister would do this,” Julie Anne seethed under her breath. Then she turned and addressed the group in a stern voice. “Pledges, it’s time to call this meeting to order, but one of your class members is late. Because of that you all have to come here on Saturday morning and clean the sorority house.”
“Why do we all have to suffer for the actions of one person?” Jill whined.
The room fell silent, except for a couple of gasps. I couldn’t believe Jill had questioned Julie Anne.
“If one pledge gets in trouble,” Julie Anne replied, “all of you will suffer.” Julie Anne stormed down the stairs. Liza
told the rest of us to follow so we could get started on the program.
When we were all settled into chairs, Liza asked us to stand one at a time and tell a little about ourselves. “No more than one minute per person, please, or we’ll be here all day.”
Everyone chuckled, appreciating the humor that lightened the mood Julie Anne had created in response to Jewels’s tardiness.
When my turn came, I stood and said, “I’m Laurel Shadrach from Conyers, Georgia. As most of you know now, I’m a gymnast. I’m also the daughter of a pastor, and I have three younger brothers who are all a year apart. I’ve always tried to be a good girl, but I’m not perfect. I’ve had my share of struggles, but they’ve made me stronger and brought me closer to God.” I felt good inside about declaring my faith boldly in front of these girls.
“My mother was an Alpha Gamma Delta at the University of Arkansas,” I added, “and so was her mom. Being part of a sorority really means a lot to me. Especially this one. I think Alpha Gam is the best sorority on any campus, and I’m proud to be a member.”
The girls all stood and cheered, like they had for everyone else who’d introduced themselves. As I took my seat again and the next girl started speaking, I noticed Jewels standing in the back of the room, glaring at me. I also saw Julie Anne glaring at her. I shook my head and focused on the girl who was talking.
After all the girls who were seated had introduced themselves, Liza said it was time to announce the nominations for pledge class president. Jewels quietly took a seat in the back.
“This year, for the first time ever, the upperclassmen of Alpha Gamma Delta have come up with only one nomination for the position of pledge class president.”
I glanced at Jewels. She was sitting up straight on the edge of her chair, a confident smile plastered across her face. She looked like a magazine model—her hair perfectly curled, her cheeks glowing with soft pink blusher, her proud lips outlined in a stunning shade that almost matched her red hair. This was her moment of glory, and she was going to relish every second of it.
I really did want Jewels to be nominated because I knew how much she wanted it. But I also kinda wished someone else would be our pledge class president just because of Jewels’s snooty attitude.
All the girls were whispering among themselves, speculating on whom the one nominee might be. Apparently not everyone knew about Jewels being Julie Anne’s sister.
“The sole nomination for this year’s pledge class president,” Liza said dramatically, “is Laurel Shadrach.”
My heart sank. I didn’t want to be president. I already had too many responsibilities. The promise I’d made to Coach Burrows about not letting my sorority activities interfere with gymnastics rang in my ears.
But all the girls in the room—except Jewels, who had disappeared—were giving me a standing ovation. Liza was smiling broadly at me, applauding wildly. Julie Anne encouraged me to come forward. When I did, the noise in the room grew louder for a few moments. I waited for the girls to quiet down, then cleared my throat.
“I don’t know what to say,” I stammered. Everyone chuckled. “This is such a huge honor. I’m already committed to so many things here; if anyone else had been nominated, I would have backed out of the race.” The room grew quiet. Liza and Julie Anne looked at me with quizzical expressions. “But I don’t want to let my pledge class down. Since I was the only one nominated,” I said, “I accept the challenge.”
The place burst into excited applause again. I felt myself blushing.
“How about a speech?” Liza suggested.
I stared at her. I hadn’t been prepared for this. I looked at Julie Anne.
“Go on,” she said. “Just say what’s on your mind and heart.”
Without thinking much about it, I blurted, “Can the pledge class president challenge the decision to make everyone come in on Saturday morning and clean the sorority house?”
I gulped. I couldn’t believe I’d said something so impulsive. But then I thought, What have I got to lose? The worst thing they can probably do is change their minds about making me pledge class president!
Julie Anne stared at me for a moment, obviously aghast that I had questioned her decision. But Liza started laughing. And then the rest of the girls joined in. Pretty soon even Julie Anne’s stern face cracked. “All right,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I guess the whole group doesn’t have to pay for one person’s mistake.”
Every girl in the room rushed up to me, surrounding me with love and appreciation and congratulations. I looked around for Jewels. She was nowhere in sight.
I thanked everyone for their support, telling them that I would need their help to do my job well. They all assured me that they would assist in any way they could.
When people started spreading out into small groups, getting involved in their own conversations, I rushed to the bathroom. When I burst through the door, I saw Jewels standing at the sink, her perfect makeup smeared, her hair and clothes disheveled.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
She glared at me, and I expected a torrent of heated words to spew forth. But her pursed lips stayed tightly closed and her face grew red with stifled wrath. After her seething eyes bore a hole through my soul, she turned around and stormed out of the room. The banging of the bathroom door against the wall echoed down the hall.
After taking care of business in the bathroom, I looked around for Julie Anne. When I found her I told her I hoped I hadn’t embarrassed her in front of the pledges by questioning her authority.
“Just don’t do it again,” she said with a grin.
I lowered my voice. “I didn’t figure you’d want everyone to hate your sister for getting them into trouble.”
She looked at me with sorrow in her eyes, but after a brief moment, the sadness disappeared and she smiled at me again. “You know,” she said with a chuckle, “you’re going to make a great class president.”
_____________________
“What’s her problem?” Payton asked when Jewels woke us up early the next morning by slamming the bathroom door between our rooms.
“She’s mad at me,” I explained, crawling out of bed.
“What did you do to her?”
I didn’t want to brag, but Jewels had been a brat to both of us. I felt both good and bad about defeating her. “I’m the pledge class president.”
“You go, girl!” We slapped hands.
“She really wanted this, and I didn’t. But now that I have it, I’m really excited. All the girls respect me. It’s great. But I still feel bad for Jewels.”
“She doesn’t deserve your sympathy,” Payton said, checking the outfits in her closet. “It’s about time she felt what other people feel.”
What Payton said made sense, but I still felt guilty for getting something Jewels wanted so much. I didn’t know what I could do to make her feel better, though, so I decided to just stay out of her way.
“So, what does it mean to be a pledge class president?” Payton asked, pulling a pair of jeans off a hanger. “What do you have to do?”
I shrugged. “I don’t really know everything yet. But this afternoon we’re going to the KA fraternity house to watch the football game on their big-screen TV.”
“That sounds like fun,” Payton said.
“Yeah, I guess.” I sat down on my bed, still in my pajamas.
“You don’t sound very excited. Don’t you want to go?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “Branson’s in that fraternity.”
Payton slipped into her denims. “Oh, girl, don’t worry about him.”
“I’ve got an idea!” I exclaimed, springing from my bed. “Why don’t you come to the party with me?”
She raised her eyebrows. “Me? Go to an all-white frat house? Uh-uh!”
“It won’t be all day. The game starts at one, so it should be over around four.”
“That’s still too long for me.”
I clasped my hands together, practically begging her to come. “They’re having a barbecue.”
“Really? What kind of food?”
“Hamburgers, chicken, and ribs.”
“Hmm,” Payton said, slowly pulling a T-shirt over her hair.
“And I’ve heard the KAs are excellent chefs.”
She popped her head through the neck of the shirt and emerged with a big smile. “In that case, I’m in!”
“Thanks,” I said, hugging her.
That afternoon, when we walked into the KA house, everyone stared at us and started whispering to one another. Suddenly I felt bad about inviting Payton. She was the only black person in the place.
Payton leaned over and said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”
“Don’t say that,” I said. “My friends are cool.”
“I hope so.”
Jill and Mandelyn called me over to their corner of the room. “Come on,” I said to Payton. She followed me. I wondered if my new friends were going to lecture me on bringing a black girl into our circle. They didn’t say more than “hi” to Payton, but they didn’t reprimand me for my choice of company or do anything mean to her.
More people came up and started talking to me, and I soon lost track of Payton. Then all of a sudden I heard her scream. I went in search for her and found her in the game room, staring at the TV, jumping up and down.
“Go, Dakari! That’s my man! Awesome!”
Dakari Graham was the halfback of our football team. I’d met him my first day at college. He put a fist through our window when he caught Payton’s ex-boyfriend Tad at the dorm.
Jill asked me if my friend knew Dakari “The Bomb” Graham. When I explained that he was her ex-boyfriend, she squealed, “Really?”
“That’s awesome,” Mandelyn added. Both of them went over to the couch and started talking to Payton. I shook my head and smiled.
As I stood there watching Payton make friends with my new friends, I noticed Branson in the crowd surrounding her. He looked so handsome. His skin was nicely tanned, and his blond hair had a few black streaks in it. My heart melted.
“Would you like a beer?” he asked Payton in his smooth, sexy way.
“I don’t drink,” she said, her focus riveted on the TV. “How about a cola?”
“Sure.” He took off toward the kitchen.
When he was out of sight, I worked my way through the crowd to Payton’s side. “That guy who just offered you a drink is Branson Price,” I whispered in her ear.
“Really?” she said. “He’s cute.”
“Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “Do you think you could put in a few good words for me? At least find out where we stand?”
“I don’t want to get into the middle of your business,” she said. “I wouldn’t know what to say.”
“Come on, Payton. Please?” I begged. “I love him.”
She sighed. “All right.”
I thanked her, then sauntered over to the bar where Mandelyn and Jill were getting drinks.
“Laurel, we are so glad you’re our pledge class president,” Mandelyn said, sipping her soda.
“Yeah,” Jill added. “You’ve really got what it takes to be a good one.”
I heard their accolades but wasn’t really concentrating on what they were saying. I was watching Branson and Payton talking, hoping she could convince him that I needed to be in his life.
“I couldn’t believe it when you questioned Julie Anne’s authority right off,” Jill said, giggling. “But I sure am glad you got us out of cleaning the house on Saturday.”
“Me too,” Mandelyn said. “You’re the best!”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
Just then, Julie Anne yelled out, “Hey, Laurel!” I looked across the room and saw Jewels’s sister sitting on a chair with a turned-over plate of nachos on her lap. “Can you bring me a couple of napkins?”
I grabbed a few off the bar, then hurried to Julie Anne’s rescue. As she mopped up the mess, I glanced at Branson and Payton. Their conversation didn’t seem to be going too well, but he was smiling. For a moment I thought he was smiling at me, but then I realized his eyes were focused on Jill and Mandelyn.
And they were smiling back!
Please, God, don’t let this happen again! Don’t let my friends come between me and Branson. Lord, please help Payton talk him into believing in us again.
I knew I could no longer settle for the way things had been, with us being apart. I just wasn’t adjusting to it.