August 2, 2010 - Dewey, Arizona
Age at disappearance : 2 yrs old
I found out about Emmett disappearing about twelve hours after he went missing. This case hits close to home because Emmett's mom, Cynthia, is a friend of mine and is probably the reason cases of the missing have become important to me.
There aren't many things I regret in life. I believe everything makes us who we are today and I'm happy with who I am. So even things that were difficult, I still wouldn't change. But I would change the decision I made during the time Emmett was missing.
I lived two hours south of Cynthia at the time, and could have helped with the search for Emmett. A huge part of me thinks that if I did, maybe things would've been different. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life. Two things happened. They weren't taking any volunteers for the search. Which, in hindsight, was asinine. We didn't realize at the time, they were treating poor Cynthia as a suspect. If we had known then...
Another boy had gone missing just two weeks earlier just a few hours away. The difference is that there was foul play involved in that disappearance. Automatically, the local police treated the Trapp case the same. For a young boy of two years old to go missing, would mean that all local law enforcement and all volunteers would be on deck for a search. I know that now. There were only a few dozen people searching for poor Emmett. Because I was told they weren't taking any volunteers I thought their reasoning was good. If there's anything to be learned from this, it's to never ignore your instincts. As human beings, we don't want to take things too far or create a ripple where it doesn't need to be. We're afraid of causing a stir and being wrong. I would do anything to go back and push the case further, to go and search regardless. A little boy's life was at stake and I ignored my instincts and listened to those in charge because I thought they were right. We're all human and humans make mistakes. Don't assume that the person next to you knows what they're doing.
The second thing that happened was it never really occurred to me that they wouldn't find Emmett in time. Sure, we tend to jump to the worst conclusions at times. But when it comes down to it, we never think something like that can happen to us. We, unfortunately, think we're invincible. So, I didn't push it because I thought, at any moment, they were going to find him and everyone was going to have a big sigh of relief.
We were waiting with baited breath for that moment. What I didn't expect was them to find poor Emmett, dead and lying face down in a puddle of mud.
I won't go into details about the three days he went missing or what happened. It's truly a mother's worst nightmare. Our kids tend to wander off just like he did. I just remember a few months after everything, Cynthia called me. She needed someone to talk to and she mentioned that people moved on, they didn't want to talk about it anymore. I knew what she was saying and could understand it. I could understand even more how she never wanted to let go and I knew she never would.
The words she shared with me that evening are forever burned in my mind and as I write these words, I still cry for her pain, as she described seeing Emmett after they found him. "I kissed his beautiful feet. They only had a few scratches on them. He didn't feel cold to me."
Those three lines forever haunt me. They forever hurt. As I wrote "Clusters," even though it's a work of fiction, it is based on real events and real stories of the missing. There are thousands of Emmett's out there and even more families and friends that grieve. The only light for Cynthia is that at least she got closure in finding her little boy. There have been people that have gone to their graves not knowing what happened to their children. I can't imagine anything worse.
I thank those people because of their pain, I cherish each moment I have with my family even more. Every night, my kisses and hugs with my son are more special. I'm so grateful that I get to tuck him in and see him wake in the morning. I get to see his beautiful, warm, smiling face. I know that not everyone is that lucky.
That same night I spoke to Cynthia, she mentioned how Search and Rescue are short on search dogs. So, after that tragedy, we wanted to do something in his memory. A large group of us got together and raised money to sponsor a dog. It took two years, but we were able to accomplish that goal with the great efforts of her friends, family, and community. Cynthia requested they name the dog Emmett. So, today, there's a SAR dog out there named Emmett helping find and rescue people. A few days ago, Cynthia wished little Emmett a happy 7th birthday. Happy Birthday, Emmett.
Cynthia, we love you and we miss Emmett. May his memory out live us all.