“So...what do you think?” Sophia Lee Brand, the wife of her cousin Luke, asked her.
They were walking through the neighborhood in Helena where Luke and Sophia had purchased a cozy Craftsman bungalow for their family of five.
“I really like it here.” Taylor told her cousin-in-law. “I think this could work for me. At least, for the short term.”
It was a perfectly clear day—cloudless periwinkle-blue skies stretched as far as the eye could see. There was a panoramic view of the mountain peaks off in the far distance. The houses in the neighborhood were new construction, built around a central park, and Taylor understood why Sophia and Luke had chosen to buy there. There were many houses still under construction, and many more lots for sale, but already there was a sense of community. The voices of the children playing in the park carried to the surrounding houses; families waved or stopped to chat as they walked to and from the park. It seemed like a lovely, wholesome, safe place to raise children.
Sophia, who was carrying her daughter Abigail, stopped and waited for her son to catch up with them on his bicycle.
“You’re doing great, Danny!” Sophia encouraged her tow-headed son.
Taylor was holding Abigail’s twin sister, Annabelle, in her arms. The little toddler had fine blond hair pulled up into pigtails, her legs were soft and chubby, and her eyes were that signature Brand-family bluest, sapphire blue. Taylor hugged her sweet-tempered second cousin. Holding this little girl in her arms made her fantasize about the day she would hold her own daughter or son. She had always wanted a little girl. Always. But watching Danny, so determined and daring on his brand-new training-wheel bike, made her think that a son would make her just as happy.
Now that she was pregnant, she’d discovered that the wish for a healthy baby overshadowed any gender preference she had ever had. At her age, she was acutely aware of her status as a high-risk pregnancy. She was also acutely aware of the fact that her unborn child was at a higher risk for being born with a genetic condition like Down syndrome. She was concerned—she was cautious—she was doing everything she could to make sure she had the healthiest pregnancy possible. But, ultimately, she was prepared to love her child no matter what.
“Mommy—watch me!” Danny pedaled by them, his legs churning furiously.
“I’m watching!” Sophia called out to her son with a smile. To Taylor she said, “Will you look at that tongue? Just like Luke—whenever he’s concentrating really hard he sticks his tongue out. I swear one day we’re going to have to take him to the hospital to get the tip of his tongue stitched. I’ve tried to get him to stop, but he does it unconsciously.”
Now that Danny was in front of them, they started walking again.
“I’d really love it if you decided to live here, too,” Sophia said. “It would be great to have you as a neighbor.”
“You said there were a couple of rentals available?”
Sophia pointed with a nod. “This house coming up here on the left and one more on the other side of the park.”
She was roughly six weeks into her pregnancy and it was very tempting to move into town. Her OB/GYN wanted to see her every two weeks. Bent Tree Ranch was an hour outside of Helena and that trek wouldn’t be fun to make when she was further along. It would be so much easier to be near her doctor and the hospital. She hadn’t decided whether or not she would stay in Montana permanently, but she had decided to stay in Montana until her baby was born. She had been spending a lot of time with Sophia, and she liked the idea of building a friendship with a woman who was already a mother three times over.
“How do you like living in Montana? It must be culture shock after living in Boston.”
Sophia shrugged and gave a little shake of her head, sending her thick, honey-blond ponytail flipping back and forth. “I’m having a hard time of it. I’m not used to being a stay-at-home mom—that’s an adjustment—I’m not used to so much quiet and fresh air—that’s an adjustment. Even with neighbors, sometimes I feel like I’m living smack dab in the middle of nowhere. But Luke seems to be doing...better. He likes working with other veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan.”
Sophia crossed her fingers and held them up in the air. “And, fingers crossed, he seems to like his therapist at the VA—Luke was diagnosed with PTSD—I’m not sure you knew that. But, anyway, living in the city was just too much for him. He was always freaked out and guarded—it got to the point where even going to the grocery store was hard for him—so we moved back to Montana hoping that it would be easier for him to be back somewhere familiar without so much stimulation all over the place.”
Sophia sent her a self-conscious smile. “Please don’t get the impression that I’m not happy here. I’m happy to be anywhere my husband can feel better. And Danny loves his preschool. In time, I’ll adjust and I’ll love it, too. I hope.”
“Do you think that you’ll go back to work anytime soon?” Sophia was a licensed psychologist. “Maybe open a new practice?”
“I want to, for sure. I’ve already seen a couple of spots in town where I’d love to set up shop. But I’m going to hold off until I get the girls in school and then I’ll look into it. Can you stay for lunch?”
Annabelle had wiggled out of her arms and was running, on chubby legs, after her older brother. Taylor took the opportunity to snap a picture of the for-rent sign posted in the lawn of a cornflower-blue bungalow that was cattycorner from Sophia and Luke’s house.
“Sure.”
Abigail wanted to join her sister—she started wiggling and protesting until Sophia put her down.
“Are you hungry, Danny?” Sophia called out to her son, who had reached the driveway of their house.
“Chicken fingers!” Danny got off his bike and ran up the sidewalk toward the front door.
“Of course,” Sophia said to Taylor with a frustrated sigh. “That’s all he wants to eat. It drives me crazy.”
Sophia scooped up Abigail as she cut across the front lawn of their house.
“Will you bring Annabelle?” Sophia nodded to her second toddler, who was squatting in the lawn, digging in the grass with a stick. “She’d stay out here all day trying to dig to China if we’d let her.”
Taylor was happy to bring Annabelle into the house, just as she was happy to help Sophia prepare lunch for all of them. Danny, as his mother had warned her, had a major meltdown when chicken fingers weren’t on the menu. But once he realized that the tantrum wasn’t working, he settled down and ate his sandwich. After lunch Danny had computer time and the twins were put down for a nap.
“I need some coffee.” Sophia came back to the kitchen. “Want a cup?”
“Do you have decaf?”
“Decaf?” Her cousin’s wife laughed. “No. Luke thinks decaf is the work of the devil.”
Taylor smiled. Her cousin Luke, Hank and Barbara’s eldest son, had spent twenty years on active duty in the Marines and he liked his coffee high octane.
“I’ll pass then.” Taylor took a seat at the breakfast bar so she could still interact with Sophia while she was in the kitchen.
Sophia filled the coffee pot with water from the sink. “I get it. I wish I could give it up. I’ve tried before, but I get headaches. And, honestly, I’m worthless in the morning until I have my first cup of coffee. Are you trying to quit just because?”
Taylor didn’t like lying. She’d never been particularly adroit at it, so she avoided telling even white lies when she could. She liked Sophia. Sophia was smart and sweet, and had the makings of a really good friend. And, more than that, they were family. Taylor didn’t want to start their budding friendship telling lies.
“No. I have a reason,” Taylor told her new friend. “I’m pregnant.”
Sophia stopped what she was doing to look up at her.
“Did you just say you were pregnant?”
Taylor nodded.
Sophia, who had the reputation in the family for being a sweetheart, immediately came around to her side of the counter and gave her a hug.
“I had no idea! Barb never said a word!”
“She doesn’t know yet.
Sophia looked at her strangely. “Is it a secret?”
“No. Not really.” Taylor shook her head. “It’s just really new.”
“It must be.” Sophia looked down at her stomach. “You can’t be more than a month or two...”
“Six weeks—roughly.”
“And the father...? It’s not your ex-husband...”
This was the tricky part—fielding questions about the father and her relationship with the father. She knew they were going to come; it was natural for people to ask questions about paternity. And Clint, who was beholden to no one, had given his consent for her to reveal the paternity of the child or keep it private. It was totally up to her.
“I’m prying.” Sophia must have read the conflict on her face. “Forget I asked.”
What she immediately respected and liked about her cousin’s wife was Sophia’s complete lack of judgment. Luke’s wife felt a child was a blessing no matter how it came to be and she didn’t have to know all of the details in order to celebrate with her.
“Do you already have an OB/GYN? The doctor I had here when I gave birth to Danny was amazing. I think I still have one of her cards in my wallet.”
“I actually overheard you talking about your doctor to Aunt Barb and I called her.”
Sophia put her hand on her arm with a genuine smile. “Perfect. Have you already had your first appointment?”
Taylor nodded. “Next week I’m scheduled for my first ultrasound. I hope I can hear the baby’s heartbeat by then.”
“It might be a little too soon. But maybe.” Sophia poured herself a cup of coffee. “Well—now I understand why you want to move closer to town. Bent Tree is too much of a hike when you’re pregnant. Why don’t we call about the rentals and see if we can get in to see them today? We could go right after the girls get up from their nap.”
* * *
Clint rested his forearms on the wall of the shower, bent his head down and let the hot water run down his aching shoulders and lower back. He’d had some luck back on the bull-riding circuit—he’d had some good rides and he’d had some really good times catching up with his buddies—but, today, his luck had run out. When he’d drawn the name of one of the biggest, meanest bulls on the circuit, he knew he was about to have a bad day.
He’d managed to hold on for six seconds, but that old bull twisted and turned and bucked until Clint lost his grip and flew off backward. Instead of landing on the ground, which at least had some give, he’d been thrown into the fence and broken one of the wooden slats with his back. From the nape of his neck, all the way down to his hips, he was covered in bruises.
“God damn, God damn, God damn...” Clint cringed when the water hit sections of chewed-up skin. “What the hell are you doin’ to yourself, Clint?”
He’d be out for a few days, for sure, and making the drive to the next stop in Texas was going to be a bear. But this was the life. And he was glad to be back at it. The only thing that had nagged him ever since he’d left Montana was Taylor.
It didn’t matter what she’d said to him or how many contracts they had signed or bargains they had struck—he still felt like a giant jackass for leaving her back at the ranch. She had wanted him to go—hell, she basically told him to go and backed him financially so he could go—and, yet, he couldn’t get it out of his mind that it was just plain wrong. He wasn’t perfect and he’d led a rough life, but he’d like to believe that he wasn’t without honor.
Clint shut off the water and dried off as best he could. He’d been gone from the ranch for two weeks, and in that time he hadn’t called Taylor. He’d wanted to—he’d missed talking to her. But he also didn’t want to overstep his place. She was the kind of woman who had a mind to do things her way—and her way of having this baby was on her own without interference from him. Not that he wanted to interfere...he just wanted to hear her voice every now and again. He just wanted to see her pretty face and that pretty smile of hers.
Once he was dressed, Clint dialed Taylor’s number. He couldn’t believe that his stomach actually felt nervous at the thought of talking with her, felt nervous about the possibility that Taylor may not want to talk to him.
“Hey!” Taylor sounded happy to see his number come up on her phone. “I was just thinking about you! Where are you?”
God, it was good to hear her voice.
“Colorado. I’m heading out for Texas tomorrow.” Clint’s shoulders relaxed when he realized that his phone call was welcomed. “How are you?”
“I’m great. I looked at houses in Helena today. I’m thinking about renting for a while until I figure out my next move.”
Taylor filled Clint in on her visit with Sophia, which blended into her sharing her experience with the first visit to her OB/GYN.
“I’m sorry...” Taylor scrunched her face. “I didn’t even ask you if you wanted to know about the nitty-gritty details like that.”
“You tell me whatever you want to tell me, Taylor. I want to know about you. I want to know that you’re doin’ okay.”
After a pause when Taylor didn’t fill the silence, Clint decided to keep on talking. “I got somethin’ I need to say to you...”
“Okay...”
“I’m real glad to hear your voice.”
He paused again and this time he waited until she responded.
“I’m glad to hear your voice, too, Clint.”
“Well, that’s good then. We’re on the same track here.” He pushed his hair back out of his eyes. “Now I know that we made a deal for you to have this baby on your own. But that don’t mean we can’t...”
“...be friends?” She filled in the rest of the sentence for him.
“Yeah...” he agreed a moment later. “You know—talk, catch up, I tell you about my day, you tell me about yours...if you went to the doctor, that’s a part of your day—I want you to tell me about it if you want to...”
Taylor smiled a pleased smile. She had become accustomed to talking to Clint—she was happy that he seemed to miss speaking with her as she had with him. In fact, he actually seemed a little nervous talking to her. It showed a vulnerable side of the tough, bull-riding cowboy—it was endearing.
“If I could, I’d talk 24/7 about my baby—so if you don’t mind me talking about it, I am more than happy to share.”
“You know I have this iPhone deal now, right?”
“That was an odd segue, but yes—I was there—I told you to join the twenty-first century and get a smartphone, yes.”
“It’s got this video dealio...”
“You want to learn how to use video chat?”
“Yeah—why not? I’ve got it—why not use it?”
“Hang up, then.”
“Hang up?”
“Hang up, then press the video icon, select my number and voilà! You will be officially video chatting. Trust me. Hang up.”
* * *
The next week she was at her first ultrasound appointment. If she couldn’t hear the heartbeat, she could wait. But what she had to know—what she had been up all night worrying about—was would the doctor see a heartbeat? Was it a viable pregnancy? The only time she had conceived with Christopher, they couldn’t detect a heartbeat at the eight week mark. After years of trying, after years of disappointment and thousands of dollars down the drain, they had lost the child.
After that, Christopher wasn’t willing to spend one more penny on IVF. She didn’t know it at the time—how could she have known?—but that was the end of their marriage. For her, it was the end of her chance to have a child and she never quite forgave him for making the decision for both of them. For him, as he was quick to tell her any time they had a disagreement, she had wasted the money for the Porsche he wanted, the boat he wanted, the vacation to Tahiti he never got to take...
“Okay...” The technician, who had been completely quiet during the first few minutes of the intravaginal ultrasound, turned the screen toward her and pointed to a little flicker on the screen. “There is the heartbeat.”
The technician had no idea how much those four words meant to her. She left the ultrasound appointment feeling better and happier than she could remember ever feeling. This was, to date, one of the best days of her life. And, the first person she wanted to tell about it? Clint.
But first things first. She stopped by the agent who was in charge of the rental house catty-corner to Luke and Sophia’s house, filled out the paperwork and signed a one-year lease. It was unfurnished, which wasn’t ideal. All of her furniture was in storage and she didn’t want to spend the money to replace everything. She would have to work out the furniture situation—there was time.
If she had to buy some pieces to make the rental livable, then that’s what she would have to do. It didn’t have to be perfect. And even though she’d like to be out of her cousin’s cabin and into her own place sooner rather than later, there was no rush. At the very latest, she wanted to be moved into the rental during her second trimester.
“Hey! There’s my pretty lady.” Clint was now a regular user of the video-chat feature on his smartphone.
“Hi.” She smiled more broadly. He said the same thing every time they video chatted, but it never got old. “You look tired.”
“I am all the way worn out. I keep drivin’ but I can’t seem to get the heck outta Texas.”
Clint shifted and she saw him wince.
“How’s the shoulder?” she asked him, concerned. The last time Clint had climbed onto the back of a bull, he’d held on for eight “incredible” seconds and then he jumped off and executed what would have been a perfect tuck and roll—if his right arm had been in the right position. But, since the right arm wasn’t in the right position, he had twisted his shoulder out of joint.
“I’ll live.” Clint winked at her. “I didn’t call you to hear myself complain—I want to hear about you. How are you?”
“Wonderful.” She beamed. “I had an amazing day.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asked before he lit a cigarette.
“Oh, yeah, I did! I had my six-week ultrasound today.”
She was so glad that they were using video—the expression on Clint’s face was the cherry on top of her ice-cream sundae of a day.
“I saw my baby’s heartbeat today. I couldn’t hear it yet, but I saw it.”
The cowboy appeared to be stumped for something to say. It took him a moment to formulate the words. “That’s good news, Taylor. I’m really happy for you.”
“Thank you. I’m happy for me, too,” she said to him. “But do you know what’s better than seeing one heartbeat on the monitor?”
Clint blew out a stream of smoke before he asked. “No. What?”
“Seeing two.”