part0006

I STARTED TO FEEL A degree of anxiety as I headed to the computer room. It seemed completely crazy to be stressing about seeing Felix Northcott. Quite likely he’d ignore me anyway. He had ignored me in the lunch room, twenty minutes ago.

I’d never seen him at lunch before, not that I had ever looked for him. I honestly couldn’t tell you where he sat, or who he sat with. Maybe the gaming crowd, or the wannabe YouTubers, maybe the nerds who played those card games.

Sitting at the Number One table, I found, had disadvantages. Oh, you might have been in the center of the room with the popular kids, but depending on which side of the table you sat, you only saw half the room. Back in junior year, we’d had a table near the window. That had been good because you could see everyone coming and going, and critique everybody’s outfit and hair style.

I had brought my lunch from home; in just the second week of school I was already over the cafeteria food. I bypassed the queue and headed to the table. Felix was walking straight toward me, though he was deep in conversation with a girl wearing dungarees, possibly a junior. He didn’t even glance my way. I felt slightly miffed, though I wasn’t sure why. It’s not like we were friends.

He sat at one of the window seats, and again I felt peeved. That had been our table last year. Every time I casually looked over he and the girl were in deep conversation, faces huddled close, barely coming up for air .

I had a panini in my bag, but knowing Felix was only a table away, I gave it to Garrett Tosti. Garrett had been one of those freshmen who had been on the swim team; we had shared a forgettable kiss at Logan’s party, though we pretended it hadn’t happened. He still swam and was one of Logan’s best friends. He had shoulders as wide as a Mac truck, but he wasn’t as tall as Felix.

Now, why was I comparing him to Felix?

I ate my bag of apple slices and stole a few of Selina’s grapes to keep the hunger pangs away.

Mr Hanley stood at the classroom door doing his usual meet and greet. Today he was high-fiving everyone as they entered.

“What’s the occasion, sir?” Daisha asked, “Is class finishing early?”

“I wish!” Mr Hanley said, “No, I’m stuck with you for the whole period. But I’m excited about today’s lesson.”

Mr Hanley’s high five made me smile and Daisha turned and high-fived me and I turned and high-fived Shaun, who was following me in. I could see Felix already seated, and he was watching us.

My heart beat increased in pace and volume. Again I took the long way round to my seat; Jim looked nervous as I passed by his seat, though I didn’t feel like I was giving him the evil eye.

Felix had done a full one-eighty swivel on his seat and his eyes followed me around the room. I wondered if he was going to accuse me of having had a panini in my possession.

Sitting next to my computer screen was another cupcake box.

“It’s gluten-free,” he said, before I could say anything. Fact is, I was too stunned to speak. My throat had strangely gone dry. “It has almond and coconut flour.” He lifted the lid to reveal the prettiest cupcake covered with white frosting and pink and green stars. “It’s coconut and lime flavor.”

“I don't like coconut!” I blurted out in a croaky voice.

Felix’s eyes startled behind his glasses. “You don’t like coconut?”

I shook my head and bit down on my lower lip. For once, I was telling the truth! “I’m sorry,” I said, “I really don’t like it.” Actually, I loathed it. Something about its texture. “But thank you for...”

“Okay,” Felix said, and he rummaged in his bag, “I had a suspicion you might be picky.” He produced another box and opened it. “Berry granola crumble? It has oat flour. You can eat oats?”

The cupcake was another masterpiece, a soft pink swirled frosting decorated with delicate slices of strawberry and sprinkled with a crunchy crumble. It looked delicious.

“Yes, I can eat oats,” I said, but I was still bothered by his previous remark, I had a suspicion you might be picky. I wanted him to clarify that statement, but Mr Hanley called the class to attention.

He said we would work in pairs with the person sitting next to us. He walked down the center aisle passing out papers, explaining the assignment. I bent down to retrieve my water bottle from my bag at the same time that Felix put the coconut cupcake into his satchel. Our knees knocked and our arms brushed, and a touch of his arm hair against my skin sent a shiver through me. And not because of the air temperature. And that weird tingly mouth thing again.

“Sorry,” we both muttered. I gulped down a mouthful of water, my face uncharacteristically scorching hot. Like I’d been sunbathing in the desert. Without any sunblock .

Felix’s glasses had slipped halfway down his nose, his frames concealing his eyes. For a moment he didn’t move and then he tilted his head back, as if that would shift his glasses into position. It didn’t. He pushed them up to the bridge of his nose, holding them in place for a second.

“Now, I want you to look at the pictures together and indicate which elements and principles of design each one uses,” Mr Hanley waffled on, repeating what he’d taught us in the previous lesson. “Remember most will have more than one, so find as many as you can.”

“Do you want to write them down?” Felix asked.

Felix put the papers between us and we leaned to look at the first picture. I stared at it intently, but I couldn’t concentrate. Not with him so close, listening to his soft breathing. For minutes I waited for him to say something. I assumed he was smarter than me, well he did wear glasses, and he was certainly better at using Photoshop.

“Um, I think this is using shape,” I said, pointing to the square, accidentally knocking his elbow. “Sorry. Maybe also color.”

“Yes,” Felix said, quickly writing it down. “Do you think space as well?”

“Yes, definitely.”

He turned the page to the second design. As we studied it, my stomach growled. I tapped my pencil on the desk, hoping he hadn’t heard it.

“You should eat the cupcake,” he said.

“I don’t think Mr Hanley would like that,” I whispered, though my mouth was watering at the sight and smell of it.

“You hardly ate any lunch. ”

“What?” Only now I glanced up at him. Had he been watching me?

“It didn’t look like you ate much. In the lunchroom.” His cheeks flushed pink. “Try it. Tell me what you think.” He edged the box closer to me.

Mr Hanley was typing into his laptop, so I lowered my head so I was hidden behind my screen. I held the cupcake up, admiring it, tempted to take a selfie and post it online. It would be sure to get a lot of likes. Food and pets were always winners. Pixie’s photos were more popular than mine.

But Felix might think that was weird. But what did I care what Felix thought? I took the selfie. Then I took a delicate bite, half expecting a coarse, cardboard-like texture, but the cake melted in my mouth.

“Mmmm,” I said, as I licked my lips to ensure the icing was not plastered all over my face. I took another mouthful, another groan of gastronomic delight. Felix chuckled and I bowed my head even lower as Mr Hanley looked up and around.

“Are we working hard, people? Are we?” He double clapped.

The room resounded with affirmative murmurs. I stuffed the last of the cake in my mouth, swallowing it in one gulp.

“So, that was good?” Felix seemed more interested in my reaction than the work in front of us.

“Yeah,” I said, patting my mouth for traces of crumbs. “Do you work there? At Mooki’s?”

Felix hesitated, as though he was reluctant to divulge such information. “Uh, yeah.” But he said it as a question. Maybe he was embarrassed that he washed dishes or waited tables or took out trash. “Have you been there? ”

“No, not yet,” I said. “Do you get a discount?” Mooki’s was a new, upmarket little cafe, its food was more expensive than regular cafes, the coffee overpriced, or so I’d heard.

“Do you get a staff discount?”

“Kind of.” He quickly looked down at the worksheet and said, “Do you think this is space? It looks like it’s three dimensional.”

I agreed, and we continued through the assignment. But I had the feeling he’d gone all cold on me and I figured he must be ashamed about his job.

Some kids had jobs in senior year, usually in fast food places, the mall or movie theater, or as lifeguards. Selina babysat for her parents’ friends, Dominique had worked in her sister-in-law’s Italian restaurant but Ainsley, Ella and I had never worked. Ella was too busy with music lessons and Ainsley and I, well, we didn’t need to.

Felix disappeared in a hurry when the bell rang, but I made a quick online post, tagging Mooki’s. Sometimes you could get free stuff by doing that. Apparently. According to Ainsley.

Ainsley had ambitions to be a famous internet sensation. She had accounts in every aspect of social media and spent all her time on her phone. She had started with a travel blog, because she traveled a whole heap, due to her mom being in the industry. She’d been all over the world - Thailand, Japan, Brazil, Peru, Fiji, and this past summer Europe.

But there were too many travel blogs, she said, and teens didn’t care about traveling. So now Ainsley was concentrating on makeup. She was obsessed with makeup. I didn’t mind, I was mildly obsessed with it, too .

We met at Ainsley’s locker after school, as we always did, and walked out to the parking lot together.

“I’m sick of Ms Sherwinger,” Selina complained, “she throws tests at us every lesson. Hey, Tree, when did you get that cupcake? It looked scrummy.”

“Yeah, cute photo,” Ainsley said, phone in hand. “When did you go to Mooki’s?”

“Since when are you gluten-free?” Dominique asked, and they all laughed.

My photo had already generated twenty two likes, so I was feeling quite pleased with myself.

“Felix gave it to me,” I said.

“Who’s Felix?”

I was quite surprised that no one knew who Felix was. After all we’d all been at school together for the past three years. He obviously did fly under the radar.

“Felix Northcott?” That was Ella. “Tall, glasses? He’s in my Economics class. Why’s he giving you cupcakes?”

“He works at Mooki’s, he had an extra one.” I didn’t mention that it had been a peace offering for being a jerk. In fact, I had never mentioned him at all. Usually I was vocal in critiquing other people’s fashion sense, or clothing choice, or their very existence.

“He’s a geek, isn’t he?” Ainsley said, “he rides a bike. ”

I wasn’t sure if Ainsley was inferring that he was a geek who rode a bike. Or that riding a bike made him a geek. I felt the need to defend him.

“He wears the coolest shoes.” I told them about his baby blue skate shoes. But nobody cared, and Ainsley had already moved on to her favorite topic of the moment: Logan Newman.

Ella had to race to her violin lesson, Dominique was helping with a gymnastics class and Ainsley was going to meet her mother at the country club. That left Selina and I leaning against my car.

“I’m hungry,” she said.

I seized the opportunity. “Shall we go to Mooki’s? I need a coffee. I hear their coffee is great.” I added a clincher, so she couldn’t refuse. “My treat.”

Mooki’s was on a corner site, off the main drag, tucked in beside a florist and a pet clothing store. There were two tables on the pavement and only three inside, plus a row of stools by the window. It didn’t look like it needed a waiter. Perhaps Felix was the dishwasher.

As we walked in I regretted my impulsiveness. What if Felix saw me? What if he thought I was stalking him? I’d have to lie and say it was Selina’s idea.

There wasn’t a great selection of cupcakes left but Selina spent a good five minutes trying to choose one. In the end she chose Salted Caramel Lava. I had looked longingly at the Vanilla and Blueberry one, topped with white chocolate shards, but I couldn’t risk Felix catching me eating gluten. Feeling obligated to follow through on my self-imposed health kick, I ordered a Vanilla Oat Milk Latte.

As Selina gushed about the gooey caramel, I surveyed the room. There were two counter assistants, one busy making a steady stream of coffee orders and the other delivering to the tables and wiping them down. There was no sign of Felix anywhere.

By the time Selina had finished her hazelnut latte, the place was empty and the assistant named Josi was bringing in the outside tables.

“Are you closing?” Selina asked.

“In a few minutes. Four o’clock. But don’t rush.”

Obviously Felix didn’t work after school, then. Maybe he did the morning shift.

“What time do you open?” I asked, though why I was so interested in Felix’s work schedule was beyond me.

“Five thirty,” she said. “Best choice of cupcakes early!”

“I should come for breakfast,” Selina laughed. “Cupcakes for breakfast!”

“We also do bagels, muffins and croissants,” Josi said. “You’re very welcome.”

I wondered if Felix did several hours on the counter or mopped the floors before school. Perhaps he was a trained barista. My obsession with his work life was getting ridiculous.

“We’ll do this again,” Selina said, as we loitered outside her car. “And we’ll bring the others. I think Domi could do with a pick-me-up, she’d love one of the chocolate cupcakes.” It was well-known that Dominique’s mother banned all junk food and sugary treats from their house.

“We should meet for breakfast one morning,” I suggested.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea. On the weekend, when we don’t have to rush. ”

We said our goodbyes and I drove home, feeling upbeat. Something about Felix Northcott giving me a cupcake had me buzzing, and even though I had absolutely nothing in common with him and he absolutely wasn’t my type, something about him made me smile.

My mother arrived home not long after I did, dramatically flopping onto the couch, proclaiming her head was pounding. She said she’d had an awful day, that she’d had to source two hundred, ten inch pomegranate-scented candles and needed sixty two red tulips by Saturday.

Mom ran her own house staging business, working mainly for realtors, but sometimes she provided stuff for parties or events or weddings. It seemed to give her one continuous headache but she never turned work down.

I poured her an iced water, gave her some Advil and said I’d make dinner. She ordered the ready-to-cook meal services, so it was only a matter of opening some packets and mixing them together. Even I could do that.

I pulled off her shoes and turned on the television so she could watch her favorite show. I went into my room, intending to start my history homework. First, I checked my messages. Then I checked my posts — 346 likes on my cupcake post! I nearly fell off my bed! If a post got over fifty likes, I’d be happy. 346 was like an all-time record.

And one of those likes was from Felix Northcott. I checked out his account. It was unremarkable. He followed more accounts than followed him. I scrolled through his photos. Some scenic shots of the beach, roads, buildings. It looked like he was trying to be arty. There were a few with kids I recognized from school, Anton, a skater, Paul and Sienna, who were drama nerds and Evelyn, a boho chick who always wore maxi dresses. His most recent one was of the bumblebee cupcake, posted five days ago, likely the day I’d rejected it. He’d tagged Mooki’s in it, and had written: I’ve been buzzing. Was that cryptic? Did it mean something?