Chapter 2
The energy in the church could be felt by all. Nicole nervously stood at the double doors that led to the sanctuary. The guests sat on the edge of their seats, craning their necks when they knew the moment had finally arrived. When the marching music began, little Hayley trudged down the aisle first. A crown of baby’s breath was clipped to her hair. And she clutched a wicker basket filled with flowers between her tiny hands. Hayley smiled each time people waved and took photos of her. Nicole proudly noticed that she did exactly as she’d been instructed: petal toss, smile and wave, petal toss, smile and wave.
Her new stepson, Myles, looked handsome in his gray tuxedo. His eyes sparkled in amazement as he carried the ring bearer pillow a few steps behind Hayley. Right before they reached the front, they happily marched side by side, grinning and nodding at every clicking camera.
The music suddenly changed. Mimi and Nicole started down the aisle alongside each other. Nicole squeezed her sister’s arm in a tight grip, feeling amazed that any of this was actually happening.
Moments later, a beaming Nicole joined Rashad at the front. She hadn’t seen him in twenty-four hours. He calmly nodded at her and gave her a lopsided grin.
Together they turned to face the pastor.
As the ceremony proceeded, it took Rashad several tries to state his vows.
“You are the flame that lights . . . that sheds light on . . . um . . .”
He cleared his throat and asked if he could start over.
“Are you nervous, son?” the minister kindly asked.
“Do I look nervous?” Rashad rocked backward on his heels and almost slipped.
Jerry, his employee and best man, held up Rashad by his elbow.
“You all right, man?” Jerry whispered.
“I-I’m straight.”
Nicole fanned herself with her floral arrangement. The smell of liquor hit her nose, and she nearly gagged. Why was her man smelling like a roadhouse bar? It wasn’t even three o’clock yet.
Rashad tried again and managed to recite his vows.
The minister asked Nicole to speak her part. She cleared her throat and loudly said, “Two flames—”
Shyla burst out laughing.
“Sorry, I will start again,” Nicole murmured. “Two flames, one light. Rashad, I offer you this ring as a sign of life and myself as your . . . as your wife . . .” Nicole felt so emotional her legs almost caved in, but she got through it and within minutes, they were married.
An ecstatic Nicole kissed Rashad. He kissed her back with sleepy-looking eyes, but she barely noticed.
* * *
The wedding party and guests relocated to the social hall in another part of the church. Nicole changed into a lavender cocktail dress and was feeling good.
The DJ played “Here” by Alessia Cara. Nicole sang at the top of her lungs. And she was thinking of Ajalon Cantu as she mouthed the lyrics. She couldn’t believe how close she’d come to losing Rashad by foolishly letting herself getting involved with him.
“Bye-bye, my sexy Afro Italian,” she sang as she swayed to the music. The next club banger was specifically requested by Nicole: “Do What I Want” by DJ Carisma. The happy bride laughed, clapped, did a two-step, and broke it down to the ground. Everyone surrounded Nicole, cheering her on as she danced her ass off. The music was loud and booming, and the guests were having a grand time.
Nicole’s mama, Evelyn, mostly stood around staring listlessly at everything. Nicole stopped dancing and went to have a few words with the woman.
“Are you all right, Mama? Is everything okay?” Nicole kept asking. But she didn’t care about her mother’s stunned appearance. Evelyn looked like she was going to be sick, and Nicole knew exactly why. She knew all her mother saw were dollar signs when she looked at the lavish decorations, the stylish clothes, the line of limos waiting out front, and the large spread of food.
Usually when her mama saw this type of spread, it was because someone important had died and she had to cater the event; as a popular cook, Evelyn had actually prepared meals for the mayor of Bessemer, which was where Nicole had lived until she was twelve. Evelyn raised Nicole, Mimi, and two other nieces in a one-story, one-thousand-square-foot house that had only one bathroom. The best thing was that they had a huge lot with enough space for the kids to run around barefoot whenever they wanted.
But most of her other memories were troubling. Nicole vowed not to forget where she came from. She hoped her mother was happy for her and knew she’d come a long way.
“I’m just so relieved for you,” Evelyn uttered. She beamed at her daughter. “You made life work out beautifully for yourself.”
Nicole was stunned. Her mother had never said such flattering words before to Nicole.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Your dreams came true, daughter. You’re doing better than I ever did . . . at least for right now. Let’s hope that you can keep it up.”
Ouch, Nicole thought. “Mama, I don’t see why things won’t be kept up.”
“You never know with a marriage. But at least you’re starting out great, daughter. You got your education. Finally got that college degree.”
“Without any help from you, but yeah, I still got it.”
“Please, Nicole. Let’s not go into that. You seem to think that I never wanted to help you. But to be honest, I wasn’t always in a position to help out. My credit was jacked up. Back then I couldn’t get a loan to buy a DVD player. I struggled to pay the mortgage on that little piece of land we had. Doing it alone was hard. That’s why I pushed you to get your education, find a good job, and be independent. Why I told you from an early age that you needed to work, pay your bills, and be responsible. I know you thought I was being hard on you. But the world we live in is tough and unpredictable. I tried my best to prepare you for the future. And I was hoping you wouldn’t repeat all of my mistakes.”
Nicole stared at her mom through a different set of eyes. In the past, the woman was always so quick to say “no” that she’d assumed the lady was mean-spirited.
“Mama, when you told me you didn’t have money for my prom, I thought you were just being cheap or hateful.”
“In truth, Nicole, I wanted to save up and send you to prom, but we were two payments behind on our mortgage. I had to choose between having a place to stay or sending you to an expensive one-night party. As a single mom, which would you have chosen?”
Nearly being homeless was a serious matter. And Nicole felt ashamed to realize she had misjudged her mother all those years. “Of course I would choose the house. But Mama, you never told me any of this before.”
“Because you’re not good at listening when it comes to certain things. There were a lot of things happening all at the same time when you were in twelfth grade. I told you, but you wasn’t hearing it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“After I got caught up on the mortgage, I was thinking it would be nice to try and do something for you for prom, even though I did not agree with how pricey everything was. I had secretly put a dress on layaway for you.”
“You did?”
“Yes! Everything was cool at first, but then things got tight. You asked me again if you could go to prom. I told you very specifically that it depended on how many hours I could get at the restaurant. And you slinked out of the room before I could even finish. I was trying to tell you that a lot of spring weddings were on the calendar and I could do a lot of cooking and make enough money to buy you a nice dress. But you heard ‘it depends’ and that was it for you, young lady. You take one little word and run with it, and once you started thinking all that negative stuff, I could not do a thing with you. I just said forget it and I got back my deposit on that dress and paid a bill.”
“Really?” Nicole asked, feeling even worse. It was hard for her to pretend like the past did not matter. The past made her see herself for who she was, and that realization made her embarrassed. “I acted like that? Well, I was a kid. I didn’t know any better.”
“You were a kid then, but even today you are set in your ways. You moved away to Texas without even caring about my opinion. That’s why I barely called you on the phone these past couple of years. I decided the only way for you to learn a lesson was to go through hard times on your own. See how it feels to be a real woman who has to work hard to get what she wants. It hasn’t been easy raising you girls, but I did my best.”
“I know, Mama—”
“And that’s why I backed off the way I did.” Evelyn shrugged. “I loved you from a distance. I prayed. It was the only thing left for me to do. And it must’ve worked.” She stared at her darling oldest child recognizing the woman she had become. “Again, congratulations.”
“Thanks, Mama.” Nicole’s voice was a sad, empty whisper.
“And now that you’ve spread your grown-up wings and made it big-time here in Texas, I suspect I won’t hear from you anymore after today. I hate to say it, but somehow I think you made sure I got here in this church so you could rub your good fortune in my face, and that’s fine. But after this day, I wonder if you’ll share any more of your happiness with me. So I wish you the best, sweetie. And I love you just the same.”
Evelyn Greene had spoken her peace. She moodily stared at her daughter, then discreetly walked away from Nicole.
The new bride stood in disbelief. She grabbed a glass of champagne and took a long swallow that did not stop until all the liquid had trickled down her throat. She burped and wiped her top lip. Then she picked up another glass and repeated the process.
“Eat, drink, and be very happy, Mama.” The music was so loud that Evelyn didn’t hear Nicole. “You no longer have to worry about me again. You don’t ever have to pray for me, either. I’m going to be just fine.”
Nicole triumphantly held up her empty glass. She gazed at the crowd that had come to share in her and Rashad’s happiness. She grinned hard and waved at her guests as if she was extremely happy, but in truth she wanted to sit down and cry. She wished that the past could’ve been reversed so that the things her mother revealed didn’t feel like a sledgehammer to her head. Raw truth always hurt Nicole. She was a pro at telling other people about themselves, but she could barely stand it when the truth was pointed out about her.
The DJ was playing nineties music. Shyla was dancing, until she stopped and approached Nicole with a cosmo drink. Nicole set down her empty glass and smoothly grabbed the one her friend handed to her.
“I shouldn’t be drinking this much, but, hell, if not now, when?” Nicole took a large gulp, then got up and danced about like she had no worries, feeling eager to forget any bad thing that had ever happened to her.
Shyla watched Nicole and assumed she was in a celebratory mood. She raised her own glass.
“Now that it’s all over, girl, I’m slowly starting to believe this was the right move for you. You put in the time and you finally got your man. I can’t hate on that. Cheers to us married ladies. We don’t have to whore around anymore. Oops, rather, you don’t have to whore around anymore, Nicole.”
“I can’t be mad at you, because you’re right. I whore no more.” Nicole winked. “My sex life is official now. What God has joined together, a bitch better not try to break apart. And I swear to you, he and I are united until death us do part. I mean that.”
“Let the church say ‘amen’ then.” Shyla clanked her glass against Nicole’s, and they sipped on their teal and lavender cotton candy cosmos and took a few more photos.
“Before he and I got married, I owned only the few things that I had to my name. My Mustang, my clothes, some DVDs, and a trunk that I got when I was in college. But now that Rashad and I are joined together, what’s his is mine.” Nicole beamed at Shyla. She wanted to forget every damning thing her mother had just told her. The old Nicole was dead. The new one had a fabulous life to live.
“I know you’re pumped, girl, but I must warn you. You gotta play it smoother, Mrs. Eason. Although you now have money, you still want everyone to think that you’re used to having it. You’re not quite nouveau riche, and I hope you don’t act nigger rich,” Shyla informed her. “Old money acts real unbothered about their millions or billions. And that’s because they were born in it. And I admire their low-key attitude.”
“Oh, so are you saying that when Rashad bought me my new Jeep, I went overboard trying to show it off?”
“Pretty much, Nicole. Put it like this: when is the last time you’ve seen Bill Gates show off his Rolex? Now that crazy Chris Brown loves showing off his fleet of Lamborghinis. And Justin Bieber’s young ass flosses his wealth, too. Look, I’m not mad at these folks earning their paper, but if you gotta flaunt it, in my book that’s what you call nigger rich.”
“Justin Bieber is—?”
“Look, silly woman. Buying expensive shit and showing it off to people who you even don’t care about is tacky. It’s the N-word, and yeah, white folks can act that way as well as blacks. You don’t wanna be like that, Nicole.”
“I disagree with you about me being the N-word,” Nicole replied with a sparkle in her eye. “Because now that I’m married, from now on, when it comes to the N-word, it’s going to mean nice.”
“You, nice?” Shyla smirked.
“Yes, don’t laugh. I really am trying to change for the better. I will do my best to get along with Kiara and Alexis. I have no reason to feud with them, not when I now have everything I want.”
Shyla could only laugh and down another mouthful of her liquor, for she knew her friend very well. She knew Nicole wanted to forget her negative past and be a better woman, but she doubted the girl would be successful.
“I mean it, Shyla. This wedding is intimate and joyous and just what I envisioned.”
“I’m glad you have had a nice wedding with the bells and whistles, and even the nice little write-up you’ll probably get in the Houston Chronicle,” Shyla told her. “Hey, you might even go viral on Vevo. But when this reception is over with, are you going to have a healthy marriage?”
And she turned and walked away.
* * *
“Hey, Mr. Eason.” The reception was in full swing. Nicole took a break from socializing with her guests to happily greet Rashad in a little hallway near the restrooms where they could enjoy a moment to themselves.
“How you doing, Mrs. Eason?” Rashad slurred his words and nodded at her. He struggled to stand flat on his feet. He kept holding on to the wall and wondered why it seemed to keep pulsating. Rashad wasn’t a regular drinker, and the little bit of vodka he did have impacted his bloodstream.
“Have you been boozing it up a little too much, babe?” Nicole asked.
“Nah,” he said. “It isn’t too much. In fact, it’s not enough. This party is just getting started. I’m about to go fill up my glass.”
Nicole heard that he’d been drinking a lot last night. And Jerry pulled her to the side right after the ceremony and informed her that Rashad had also gotten smashed mid-morning. Nicole was shocked at the revelation. She wasn’t fond of Rashad’s behavior at all but attributed his unusual deeds to nervous jitters. But now she wanted to have a serious conversation with him.
“I’ve been thinking, Rashad. Don’t you want us to start our marriage off right? Like, shouldn’t we set up a nest in a different house? I want Emmy to know what it’s like to live somewhere with a backyard big enough for a couple of dogs to run around.”
“Sure, yeah, whatever you say,” he said and slumped against her with his eyes all red and beady-looking. She took one look at her husband and asked him to excuse her for a second. She quickly came back and handed him a fresh glass of ice water. She took care to pat his beaded forehead with a soft towel.
“Looks like I’m fulfilling my nursing duties for my husband already,” she said. Nicole remained next to him and talked sweetly.
“You need to sober up a little, Rashad. We can open a few of those gifts on that gift table that I’ve been dying to see.”
“I don’t care about any of that.”
“But I do. And I want you to be there with me. Just to take photos with a few of the items.”
“Okay, Nicole. Whatever you say.”
“You do want to make me happy, don’t you, babe?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then drink all of that water please, and don’t swallow any more liquor. Promise me right now.”
“I promise. I do. I will. Happy now?”
“We’ll only be here a little while longer, and then when it’s over, you can get some rest. I know you’re tired. I see your male friends are here helping you to celebrate, and I’m just happy that people came out to support us.”
“Yeah, it’s all good in the hood, babe.” Rashad sipped on his glass of ice water. He was beginning to feel slightly better than he had when he’d woken up that morning.
“Speaking of the hood,” she said. “I was thinking we need to start looking to move. I am ready to see what is out there since the market seems to be doing well in the Houston area.”
“Huh? I feel like I have a headache.”
“I’m sorry, babe.”
“So we can talk about doing all that eventually.”
“What’s wrong, Rashad?”
“Nothing’s wrong. But can you please lower your voice?”
“I’m not even talking that loud.”
“But you need to still lower it.”
She made sure he drank lots more water and waited until he seemed more alert.
“Okay, now, getting back to us buying a house right away,” she sweetly told him. “When can we move?”
“Nicole, let’s stay in the other spot till the lease is up. No need to waste any money by losing the deposit.”
Her eyes burned with disappointment, but she tried to hide it.
“Rashad. We’ve got to move. It would be a big mistake to stay there.”
“Why is that?”
“Because, babe, to be honest, I still think of that house as ‘my’ place. I’ve read on the Internet that when a man lives in a home that was originally owned by the female, she could throw her weight around and act very bossy and territorial.”
“Easy solution. Don’t throw your weight around. Think of the place that we live in now as yours and mine. Can you do that for me please?”
“Rashad, I could pretend like that house is ours but the bottom line is we’re just leasing. What if old boy wants us out of there just because?”
“He can’t do that legally. That’s what leases are for and we aren’t doing anything criminal to make him want to evict us.”
“Well, maybe we ought to do something criminal so he can evict us,” she told him sarcastically.
“You ain’t no criminal, Nicky, don’t even try it.”
Feeling frustrated, Nicole lowered her voice. “Regardless of all that, I’m ready to move out, and I just think we’d feel much happier once we find something that we can call ‘our’ place.”
“Look, Nicky, too many wives out here act like they have a penis. But I’m the one who was born with a dick, not you. That means I am the head. I will lead our household the way I think it should be done.”
* * *
Before Nicole could make a rebuttal, her new husband quietly reclined against the wall, closed his eyes, and was unmovable for a good twenty minutes afterward. Nicole felt embarrassed as people kept coming by and asking if everything was okay. The photographer they’d hired even took a few photos of Rashad thinking they’d make a great gag. She shooed him away and asked him to have respect.
“Is Rashad all right?” Shyla pressed her as she came by looking for Nicole.
“Everything’s great. He had a little too much to drink and is trying to come down. I learned that my husband is terrible at handling his liquor, so we’re getting sobered up now. We’re going to be just fine.”
As Nicole prepared to go and open a few wedding gifts, she resumed feeling excited. Her last conversation with Rashad had bothered her. But right then it really didn’t matter. Nicole had finally captured her man.
The next day, the Easons began honeymooning in Harbor Island, Bahamas, where the beaches consisted of pink sand and the Atlantic Ocean was a pretty aqua color when the sunlight hit it.
They enjoyed a cab ride that transported them to a water taxi, and after paying the fare they checked in at their hotel.
Nicole entered the Ocean View Club arrayed in a pretty off-white dress and wearing loads of bangles and dangling earrings, a surprise gift from Shyla.
“Oh, wow. Everything is just so beautiful,” she cooed as they walked through the lobby. “I feel like I’m in that movie Why Did I Get Married Too? Remember that scene when Janet Jackson’s character and Jill Scott and the gang arrived at that hotel?”
“Nah, not really.”
“Aw, boo, then we need to stream that movie while we’re here, okay?” She swung her hips and Rashad could not help but feel proud that they were finally taking a real vacation together.
He beamed at her and laughed. “You’re a little too excited.”
“You damn straight I am. I got the right to turn up. And you do, too.”
“Oh, really?” That lopsided grin of his looked too damn sexy.
Nicole suddenly turned around and planted an unexpected wet, sloppy kiss on him. Then she reached down and grabbed his package, rubbing his dick through his shorts.
“You are getting me hot, Rashad.” She nibbled on his ear right there in the lobby.
“Whoa, whoa.” Rashad laughed and tried to duck.
“Whoa? Really? On our honeymoon?”
“I’m just saying, time and place for that. Remember the baby?”
“Oops. Oh yeah.”
Nicole turned around and continued pushing Emmy’s stroller. Nicole never thought in a million years that she’d be spending her first honeymoon with both her husband and their only child. But in reality, no one else was available to care for Emmy. So Rashad insisted that Emmy join them. At first Nicole was horrified. It was supposed to be just the two of them getting the chance to be alone in the right way since they’d met each other. Then, when she really thought about it, she grew ashamed and realistic.
“You’re right,” she’d told Rashad. “Emmy’s part of the package. If it was Jay-Z and Beyoncé, they’d definitely take Blue Ivy with them. We will bring Emmy with us and still have a damn good time.”
After finding their room, they settled into their suite, then dressed down to swimsuits. They took turns, one of them would watch the baby and rest on the beach while the other swam and enjoyed having fun in the ocean. And when they both had enough of the crystal blue water, they sat next to each other in chairs on top of the sand and gazed in awe at the beautiful sky.
Nicole surveyed her surroundings. “Can you believe we’re here?”
“No, not really.”
“Your ass does look like you’re still in a daze. You’ve had that look ever since yesterday. And that was fine for then, but babe, you gotta snap out of it. Soon.”
“Yeah,” Rashad agreed. He was silent for a minute, watching the gulls soaring above them.
The sound of the waves splashing felt relaxing.
“I kind of predicted all this, though, didn’t I Rashad?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Remember, not long after we met, you drove me to Galveston Island. We went to the Bolivar Ferry and we spent time together. I remember feeling like it was a prelude to a honeymoon. Don’t ask me why I did, but I did.”
“Oh, did you, now?” His familiar lopsided grin stretched across his face.
“Yes, I did. It’s okay to dream, isn’t it?”
“Sure, Nicky. Nothing wrong with dreaming.”
“Dreams are great. They help me forget the past I’ve left behind and make me feel hopeful about the future.”
Rashad squeezed her hand. “That is true, but sometimes you wake up from something that you’ve enjoyed dreaming about,” he said in a careful tone, “and then you have to sit up, get up, take a piss, brush your teeth, and wash your crusty ass.”
“All that? Really, Rashad?”
“I’m just saying. Dream over!”
Nicole yelped with laughter. “Oh, alright, thanks for letting me know what I have to look forward to every day for the rest of my life. I think I should be able to face the realities of this marriage. I know it won’t be totally perfect, but it’ll be damn near perfect. You’ve got the experience already from you-know-who,” she said, referring to Kiara. “And I’m going to believe you’ve learned any lessons from any mistakes made with her.”
Rashad calmly listened to Nicole, but he couldn’t believe her audacity. She’d helped him to deceive his wife. How soon side chicks forget.
Nicole joyfully gazed at her paradise surroundings. “And even though it’s my first time getting married—and my last time—I feel like I can deal with your realities. That’s why I’m somewhat glad that we lived together before we made things official. I like to ‘test-drive’ the car I plan to drive.” She winked at him.
“I hear you, and I know, Nicky.” He closed his eyes and felt like he wanted to fall asleep. Plunge fast into a deep sleep that never ended. It felt surreal to be there with Nicole. With their darling daughter resting in her portable crib next to the both of them, on a beautiful beach in the Bahamas.
The white sand drifted in between Rashad’s toes as he dug his feet deep into the fine grains. He felt a world away from his normal reality.
Finally he uttered, “What are we doing? Nicky, what the hell are we doing?”
“We’re starting over again. The both of us. We’re taking this journey together, as husband and wife, and we are going to stay on this road and see where it leads us.”
“There’s nothing else that we can do,” he told her.
Once they were done swimming, they retreated to their room and fed Emmy. They enjoyed a room-service meal, then Nicole told Rashad she wanted to snuggle in bed and watch movies.
“We’ll start off with that Tyler Perry movie I was telling you about, and then we gotta also watch one of my favorites called Jumping the Broom.”
“Another wedding flick?”
“Yes, but this movie has special significance. I first saw it when I was twenty-one. And I remember how much it inspired me and planted a dream inside of me.”
Rashad smiled at his new wife, happy to see her so excited.
“How did it inspire you?”
“I loved how Paula Patton’s character wanted to be with her man, but she had to go through so much hell before she got what she wanted. And in the end, despite family drama, she had the wedding of her dreams. She made me want to have that, too. A wonderful man, a beautiful ceremony, and a great life. And look at me now.”
“Yeah, look at you. You’re shining so bright ain’t nothing I can do to dim it.”
“You got that right.”
She removed her clothes and crawled in bed along with her husband and they started watching the film. Around halfway through, Nicole announced, “Okay, that’s enough.” She flicked off the power and she and Rashad quickly got cozy, wrapping their arms around each other.
Unexpectedly, Nicole bounced back up. “Rashad, hold up a sec.”
She went to her suitcase, unzipped it, and pulled out a small mattress cover.
“Get out the bed. I need to do something.” He quickly obliged.
Nicole unstripped the bed and laid the mattress cover on top.
“What’s up with that?” asked Rashad.
“This is a nice hotel, but they may have had some nasty guests in here before we checked in.”
“Oh. Is there anything in your past that makes you know about those kinds of things?”
Her face turned red. “Um, let’s say I have had some experience checking in and out of motels.”
Rashad gave her a curious look. “Are you talking about your boy Ajalon?”
“Babe, please. This has nothing to do with my ex. He is the past. You are right now.”
“As in ‘Mister Right Now’?”
“Jesus. No! As in you, Rashad Eason, will be my husband until death us do part, okay? I am not thinking about any other man except you.”
“Are you positive?”
“Are you kidding me? We’re on freaking Harbor Island. Do you understand how surreal this is? I never in my life thought I’d get to this point. So yes, I’m positive that you’re the only man I’m thinking about. If you were the man who got me here, no way in hell I’m about to fuck it up with another man.”
“Okay, just checking. Lighten up, Mrs. Eason.”
Nicole calmed down.
Although Rashad seemed like he wanted to continue talking, Nicole took one look at him and shook her head. “We are on our honeymoon. Let’s act like newlyweds.”
She crawled back on the bed with her ass pointed high. Looking back at him, she smiled and began to make her way toward the headboard. Rashad followed suit. She let him kiss and lick her from behind until she felt nice and wet. He built up a nice rhythm and made her squirm and moan in pleasure.
When she felt Rashad press his dick against her vagina, she imagined he was like a race car driver, revving up and wanting to break loose. He poked against her several times, and when he felt hot and hard, like he was ready to plunge recklessly inside of her, she asked him to hold up. She made him strap up with a condom. Then she told him to lie on his back. He instantly obeyed. With her breasts bouncing, Nicole straddled Rashad and pulled him against her chest so that they were face-to-face.
“I’m yours—you believe me?”
His eyes glazed over. “I believe you.”
They held each other and gazed upward through a skylight; it looked like millions of stars were sprinkled across the midnight sky.
Nicole was hot and couldn’t stand it anymore. She jammed his penis deep inside of her.
“It’s the first time we’re doing it the right way, as husband and wife,” she sighed. They rocked together, holding each other tightly as if they were addicted to each other. She couldn’t feel him like she wished she could, due to the condom, but still, he felt great inside of her. She hopped up and down on him. The more it hurt, the better it felt. He seemed to be into it, too. She watched him close his eyes, grunt, groan, and jerk and move his hips in sync with hers.
“I love you, Rashad.”
“I love you, too.”
“And, babe?”
“Yes.”
“If you ever even think about looking at another woman, I will cut your motherfucking dick off.”
Rashad instantly stopped moving. He opened his eyes. His penis grew soft.
“I hope you’re just joking.” His voice sounded cold and unloving. “You’d better pray you were just joking, or I will—”
Nicole froze. Maybe she’d gone too far. She never would want him to cheat on her, even though that was the way she got him.
Nicole leaned over and tried to kiss Rashad on his lips. He turned his head away. Her lips ended up on his neck. She fell into her husband’s neck, aware of the hurt she’d caused. She wished she could snatch back the words that had carelessly flown out of her mouth.
When Rashad did not respond to the kisses she gave to his neck, she rolled off of him and lay on her back next to him. She stared at the ceiling.
“Okay,” she said in a tiny voice that was barely audible. “Maybe I went too far with that joke. I-I was in a weird type of mood just then. It will never happen again. I shouldn’t have threatened you.”
“You shouldn’t have.”
“But you couldn’t have taken me seriously, right?”
“I took it how you said it, Nicole.” He sounded furious. That made her scared. She tried to hold his hand, but he snatched it back.
Her heart pounded wildly inside her chest. The abrupt disconnect felt frightening. It was much too soon for her dreams to end. How could she fix this?
“Babe, I’m so sorry. I apologize. I know that I should think before I speak. I know that if you said something like that to me, it would hurt my feelings.” A tiny cry escaped from her mouth. “I do not want to hurt you, babe. I never, ever want to hurt you, Rashad. Shit, I love you. I love you.”
She begged Rashad to believe her, but stiffness emanated from his body. She began to imagine the worst. What if he didn’t forgive her? What if the rest of their honeymoon was filled with tension?
“Rashad, we all say things we don’t mean.”
“I don’t.”
“I’m sure you have at some point in your life. Maybe you’ve done it and forgot about it.”
“I don’t say stupid shit like that, though. That wasn’t cool.”
“I know. But as my husband, you’ve got to forgive me. I’ll admit I messed up. I will probably mess up again. But I didn’t mean it, I swear. I hate knives anyway, so can you imagine me trying to slice off a dick—especially one as big as yours?”
It took Rashad a long while before he spoke again.
“It’s cool, Nicole. My guess is that you were trying to say, in a really awkward and bad way, that you don’t want me hooking up with any Nicole Greenes.”
“Oh, Rashad, c’mon.” His words hurt her so much that she could barely think. She never wanted him to continue thinking of her as a woman he’d cheated with.
“If Nicole Greene was that bad, why would you marry her?”
“Don’t ask me that.”
“But it’s an honest question. Answer it.”
“I ain’t doing that. And don’t be demanding with me. You started this shit by threatening me. I’ve never taken threats well. So, before you get on my case, think about what you did to get us to this place.”
Nicole knew that if she wanted him to forgive her, then she’d have to forgive him, too. His biting words hurt like hell, but she had to start somewhere.
“Alright. Fine. All I was trying to say is that I want us to have a really strong relationship in which no cheating ever happens, because I don’t want that for us. It’s just you and me in this relationship.”
“I get that.”
“And?”
“I get it.”
“Rashad, I-I do expect you to be faithful to me and not do anything shady with another . . . Nicole Greene.”
“I do not plan on doing anything shady with anybody.”
“Alright. Good. It’s settled. Discussion is over.”
“It’s definitely over.”
His choice of words made Nicole feel uneasy. She gnawed on her fingernails until she realized what she was doing.
A hit dog will always howl, but she didn’t want him to think of her as that type of animal.
“Look, I’m ready to move past this, but hear me out one more time. I’ll admit I shouldn’t have let my insecurities or your past ways make me think anything negative about you. Rashad, from the bottom of my heart, I hope you eventually forgive me. We are supposed to be enjoying ourselves.”
“And we will. Just relax a bit. Things will be alright. So far you have gotten everything you’ve wanted.”
“Except a new house.”
“I’m sure you will figure out a way to get that, too.”
And he turned around so he could get some sleep. Lots and lots of much-needed pleasurable rest.