Chapter 10
Rashad paced outside of the church, wincing at times due to his throbbing back pain. He was standing in front of the little stone building where he’d gotten married a month ago. Nicole had asked him to meet her. She was late. And he felt anxious. Although he’d filed the papers for the divorce, he still hadn’t told her of his plans.
It was a Monday. Nicole had called in sick and told Rashad she’d be taking Emmy to the doctor. She left him an ambiguous voice mail, and now here he was, wondering what was up.
When he saw his wife’s black Jeep swerve to a quick stop in the parking lot, he trudged over to the driver’s side.
Nicole pointed behind her and popped the locks. Rashad immediately opened the door and unbuckled his youngest daughter from her car seat.
“Hey, baby girl, are you all right?” He whisked Emmy into his arms.
“Dada. Hi fi.” She had recently learned how to say a few words.
Rashad gave Emmy a high five.
“What’s supposed to be the matter with her, Nicky, because the baby looks normal to me?”
“You didn’t see how she was acting earlier this morning.” Nicole came and stood next to her family. “She woke me up, crying her eyes out. She had a high temperature. She was sweaty. She didn’t want to eat. I got scared.”
“And what did the pediatrician tell you?”
Nicole squirmed and glanced at her feet. “That’s the problem. She couldn’t find anything wrong.”
“No kidding.”
“But I don’t believe her. She only spent five minutes examining Emmy and then told me the baby simply needs to stay hydrated. Emmy’s always got a bottle in her mouth. I don’t think the doctor knows what she’s talking about.”
“Nicky, if you called me way over here for something you could have told me over the phone . . . then I see this as a case of overreacting . . . again.”
“You sound angry. And if you think caring about our child is overreacting, then I’m beginning to question your parenting skills.”
“Don’t even try it. I got experience in this type of thing.”
“And I don’t? Is that what you’re trying to say, Rashad?” When Nicole realized that the volume of her voice had increased, she told herself to calm down. She never wanted to be perceived as crazy. But recently it had been tough to control her emotions. For the past few days, her husband had taken to sleeping in their second master bedroom.
Hmm, he wants me to chase him. I can do that, Nicole had told herself.
So she’d gotten dressed in a sexy red negligée. She’d tiptoed down the hallway to the bedroom. She’d knocked on the door and twisted the knob. Rashad was resting on his stomach with his back turned. Nicole tried not to burst out laughing. Playing sex games was fun to her.
She stood next to the bed and tapped him on the shoulder.
He turned over and squinted.
“I’m sorry, sir, did I wake you?”
“Sir?” he asked.
“C’mon, just play along. Um, I was just passing by and you looked so damn sexy, and so alone in that big bed of yours. May I join you, Daddio?”
Rashad sat up in bed. Much more alert. She crawled onto the bed beside him. But when she tried to place her arms around him, Rashad claimed he wasn’t feeling well. His back hurt. His sinuses were bothering him. And he didn’t want her to catch what he had. So he asked her to get out of that bed and return to their room. She refused. She argued. And she was downright shocked when he physically pushed her off of the mattress. She plummeted to the floor with a thud. She sat there on the floor for the longest time, expecting him to beg for her forgiveness. To prove to her that he really cared. When he did no such thing, she finally pulled herself up to her feet. She went back to their room. She stared at the ceiling all night, and her mind began to wonder, plot, and scheme.
And now here she was. Waiting in front of the church that she hoped would restore good memories to her husband.
Nicole changed her voice to a sweeter, calmer tone. “Rashad, baby. I know you accuse me of overreacting a lot of times. There’s a reason for it. My explanation has to do with the love I hold in my heart. Because when it comes to my family, I’d rather overdo it and be wrong than to underdo it and be sorry later.”
“That’s cool, but use your common sense. I won’t be able to up and run to see what you’re yelling about every time you get scared and nervous.” He knew his reply sounded lame under the circumstances, but he had to wait till he had found other living arrangements for himself before he could drop the news.
“If you’re not willing to rush to my side when I need you, then why’d you even state your marriage vows?”
“Huh?”
Here was her chance to say how she felt. “We made promises to one another, Rashad.”
“Oh, alright, so you’re telling me that your interpretation of the vows is that I’d up and run to you every time you scream?”
“Well, yeah. Because you are the protector of our family, Rashad. In big or little things. And I am your partner, here to help you protect our baby. When I said my wedding vows, remember I also promised to be the best mother I could be to your children.”
Damn, this is awkward. He cleared his throat.
“Um, and I appreciate that, Nicky. But you get too scared over petty shit that you should be able to handle. And now you’re losing a day of work when you could have just had Nadia watch Emmy. You told me you don’t even have any more sick time.”
“I know, right,” she replied. “And all of that brings me to this.” She paused. “I have no idea what is going to happen when I have to start missing more days . . . because of me having to go to the doctor again in the future.”
“Go to the doctor for what? Because of Emmy?”
“Because of me. Your children. All our children.”
“I only have one baby with you.”
“I know that, but—”
“Nicole, are you trying to tell me you’re pregnant?”
“I-I don’t know what I am just yet.” Then she started pacing. He followed behind Nicole, holding Emmy. “I just don’t feel right, Rashad. I’ve been vomiting. My stomach’s all queasy.”
“Nicky, please don’t play.”
“I’m not playing.” She came to a stop. “If I was pregnant, how would that make you feel?”
Rashad wanted to explode. The timing couldn’t have been worse. But would another baby make him change his plans of leaving her? He’d already filled out an application to lease a two-bedroom apartment and he was waiting to find out if he’d get the unit he requested.
“To be quite frank, I don’t know what I feel right now.”
“What do you mean?” she cried. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“I-I wasn’t expecting this.”
“But you could handle it, couldn’t you?”
“Why would I want another—?” He stared at Emmy, who had begun toying with his ears. She laughed and squeezed his ears between her plump fingers. His precious little girl meant the world to him. He wiped his forehead, which was suddenly beaded with sweat. “Okay, so you may be pregnant. If that’s the case, what could I do about it?”
“Nothing at this point. I just wanted to see you in person and let you know what was up.”
“Is it mine?”
“What the hell you asking me that for? Are you crazy?”
Alarmed, Emmy wildly squirmed in Rashad’s arms. He told her, “It’s alright, baby girl. Daddy’s here. Daddy got you.”
Nicole felt that if Rashad had kicked her in the stomach, it would have felt great compared to the question he just asked.
“Why’d you ask me to come here, Nicole? To this church?” he asked. “Why didn’t we just meet at the crib?”
“I-I just thought it would be nice to come back to—”
“The scene of the crime?” he barked. “I know you. And you don’t do anything without thinking about it carefully before you do it. This is a safe place for you, right? What type of person do you think I am?”
Nicole said nothing because she already knew the type of person he was. She’d gone through his cell phone last night while he showered. She reviewed his call log and noted unfamiliar numbers, but that didn’t mean anything to her. She then looked at his web search history. She noted the saved links for the Web sites of several apartment complexes. As she pondered what it all meant, her gut felt hollow and her heart grew frightened. She found it hard to sleep well last night. It was part of the reason that she’d called in sick. “Rashad, I think you are the type of person who might go postal. I felt better talking to you about this in public.”
“You got it all wrong, Nicole.”
“Why are you calling me that? I am Nicky to you. Call me Nicky Eason.”
“What difference does that make?”
“You just don’t understand, Rashad. I feel like from the beginning you haven’t really given me a fair chance. And you’re not taking me serious. Maybe you feel like we married too quickly and that I wasn’t ready to be your wife.”
She hesitated, almost appearing as if she really was afraid of Rashad.
“Go on and say what you want to say. Now’s your chance.”
“Okay, alright. I-I’m beginning to question my skills as a wife . . . as a mother. It’s nuts. I don’t like feeling this way. I want my happy back. It’s too soon for it to be gone.”
“Finally, the truth comes out. These tactics you’re pulling have nothing to do with the baby being sick, or you being pregnant.”
“But I could be—”
“You’re not pregnant, Nicky. If you thought you were, you’d just buy an over-the-counter pregnancy kit. So just stop it with the BS and let’s get to the root of the problem. You feel insecure and it causes you to act like you do.”
“What else am I supposed to do? I-I love you, but I’m not feeling your love anymore.”
He handed their daughter back to Nicole.
“There are some things I’m not feeling anymore, either. Take the baby. I’ve got business to take care of. That’s all I have to say. Get some help, though. Some psychological help. And when you’re better, I mean, really, really better, then we can talk. I’m out.”
“No. Wait, Rashad.”
Her cries were met with silence. He calmly returned to his vehicle, started the ignition, and drove away without a second thought.
* * *
On the same day that Rashad met up with Nicole, Alexis stopped by Kiara’s office. Kiara was busy preparing a financial report to justify several new positions that she wanted to add to her communications department.
“Hold on a sec, Alexis. Let me type something real quick. Our VP is really getting on me about this additional funding I’m requesting. So I really gotta break it down to him in terms he can understand.”
“I won’t be long. But let me know if you need anything. I can pull up old data if you need me to.”
“I might take you up on that.” She sighed. “Have a seat. I’ll be right with you.”
When Kiara finished her document, Alexis casually asked if she would bring Jazzy over to her apartment after work.
“Hayley wants a playdate with her baby sis. They can hang out for an hour, then you can go back home and get your daughter ready for her bath and bed.”
“Um, Alexis. How do you know Hayley wants that? Did she tell you?”
“In so many words, yes . . . When we’re at home, she kisses Jazzy’s baby picture and says, ‘Love you’.”
“I see. That’s so sweet.”
“Yeah, so what’s your answer, Kiara? Are y’all coming or not?”
“This is an odd request, and normally I’d turn you down, Alexis, but sure. Why not?”
“I really appreciate this. As the mother of a baby, I know doing unscheduled stuff in the middle of the workweek can be hectic.”
“That’s true,” Kiara replied. “But the girls need to bond. We’ll pop by, say, around six.”
“Great, see you then.”
Alexis left work and rushed to pick up Hayley from the day-care center. Then she got home and tried to spruce up her place before Kiara arrived.
Before she knew it, the doorbell was ringing, Hayley was screaming, and Alexis felt ready to pull out her weave.
But she answered the door with an amused smile.
“I swear to God, kids are in control. Not parents. Kids.” She warmly invited Kiara and Jazzy into her home.
Kiara walked in with a dazed look on her face. Alexis’s place was meticulous and stylishly decorated.
“I can’t believe I’m here.” Kiara wanted to say that she had never visited a side chick’s house before.
“Um, yeah. It’s my first-ever apartment. I have a long way to go. As you can see, I only have a few nice pieces, and of course, I’ll need a lot more furniture than what I have, but that will all come much later. I’m in no hurry.”
Kiara nodded. “Well, do you. You don’t have to entertain me. I always have a magazine stowed away in Jazzy’s tote that I can read.”
“While the sisters make a big mess as they play and have fun, us two can just sit and talk, okay?”
Kiara said, “Why not?” and Alexis went to grab Hayley. She settled the kids in her daughter’s bedroom, where there were lots of dolls and stuffed animals lying around to entertain them. Alexis made sure the door of Hayley’s room stood wide open. Then she dragged some dining room chairs into Hayley’s room and offered her visitor a seat. Kiara thanked her and rested her leather handbag on the back of the chair.
They watched the girls hug each other and were warmed by their obvious affection for one another.
“You just never know about life,” Kiara murmured as she tried to relax. “I’ll have to admit something to you. When I first walked into your apartment, all I could think about was whether you and my ex had—”
“No, we did not. Not at all. Please don’t think anything like that. What we did way back then was wrong, but it’s been over. We are just friends right now.”
A year and a half ago, when Kiara had first found out that her administrative assistant had been sleeping with her husband—and they’d even had a secret baby together—she’d almost lost it. The betrayal caused her incredible pain. She wanted both of them dead. But as time went on, she’d learned to forgive and move on. But just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten the pain they caused.
“You and Rashad are just friends now? That sounds just like something a married man would say—‘It’s nothing, she’s just a friend’—but he’s steadily trying to get in that so-called friend’s panties. I really hope that’s not you.”
“I told you I have somebody. You’ve met him.”
“Having someone and even meeting the wife hasn’t stopped some chicks from sleeping with a married man. It’s sickening.”
“I understand that, but, Kiara, I’m faithful to my man. And more importantly, he’s faithful to me.”
“You never know.”
“You may not have known, but I’d know.”
“You’re so naïve.”
When Kiara noticed that Alexis grew stonily quiet, she decided to lighten up.
“I’m glad you believe that you and your man are faithful to each other. What I think isn’t important. How is Varnell Brown, by the way?”
“Working like always. He’ll be by later tonight.”
“Good. I’m happy to hear that you two are still going strong.”
“Me too. Relationships can be hard.”
“Cosign.” Kiara laughed. “If I never get married again, it’ll be fine. I just want a happy life for me and the kids.”
“Oh, but I didn’t hear you mention Eddison. Are y’all still good?”
“Um, yeah, we’re great. He is busy himself tonight. Family issues that he has to deal with. But he’s still my prince.”
Jazzy burst into a wild yell. She rolled around on the floor like she was sweeping the wooden surface with her body. Kiara shook her head in amazement. “This little mama is always doing something to almost give me a heart attack. I can’t take my eyes off of her for one second.”
“Tell me about it. If we didn’t have the support of our men, our lives would be so much tougher.” Alexis paused. “And maybe it’s completely none of my business, but our boy Rashad is still feeling you big-time.”
“He’s what? How do you know that?”
“Um, I just do.”
“I thought you and him didn’t hang out anymore.”
“Oh, we don’t. Believe me. It’s only regarding Hayley. I told you, I have a man. A very decent man. Um, not to say Rashad isn’t decent.”
Kiara suddenly sprang to her feet. She grabbed her handbag off the chair. “I don’t like how this conversation is going.”
“He still cares about you, Kiara. That’s all I want to say. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“But why do you care about him caring about me? I don’t get it.”
“She shouldn’t have him. She never should have had him. She doesn’t deserve him.”
“Why did I agree to this, again? I-I gotta go. I feel like this whole thing was a setup.” Kiara reached for Jazzy and scooped her up in her arms. The girl was getting heavier. Kiara struggled to hold her. Jazzy squirmed and made protesting sounds like she wasn’t ready to go just yet.
“Oh, Kiara. I’m sorry. This meeting was for the kids. These girls love each other and want to be around each other.” Alexis pleaded with her boss. “I’m sorry for overstepping boundaries. I should keep out of your personal life.”
“Did he put you up to this?”
“Rashad wants you back. And my guess is that he’ll do anything to get you back.” Alexis shrugged. “Some men find it hard to let go, even if they are the ones who filed for divorce first. It’s like a game. A plea for help. I swear to God, if you had wanted to reconcile and not go through with that divorce, you two would still be together now. And the psycho bitch probably would be on her way back to Alabama. Or maybe she would have hooked up with her ex again.”
Kiara felt conflicted. She didn’t want to talk about Rashad. She wanted to forget, not remember. Thinking of the bad times caused too much pain, even to this day, if she let it. And she thought maybe it was the reason why he constantly implied that Eddison was on the down low.
“That man will do anything to get me back. And to be honest, I’m not sure if I appreciate his tactics. They are questionable. He may call it love. But I call it narcissism. After every bad thing he’s done to me, why would I still have romantic feelings for him? So please do not try and make me love Rashad Eason again.” Kiara shrugged with a sober acceptance of where fate had led her. “Sorry, Boo. Those days are done. And so am I. Good night. See you at work in the morning.”
Alexis watched Kiara leave through the door. She could have kicked herself for allowing Rashad to make her part of his poorly thought-out schemes.
“I’m done, too.” She vowed to stay out of it and firmly closed the front door.
* * *
It was Tuesday afternoon. Rashad knew that each day his daughter Emmy was being cared for by Nadia, if he caught Nicole before she got off work, he could do what he had to do before she got home. Rashad placed a call to his wife and closed his eyes as he spoke to her.
“Hey, what’s up?” He paused. “What are you doing? I really need to see you.”
“Ooh, you need to see me? I hope it’s good news, like you won the fucking lottery or something.”
“Um, yeah. Anyway, something has come up and we gotta discuss it.”
“I’ll be there. Name the place.”
“Meet me at LA Fisherman on Highway Six,” and he gave her the address, then hung up.
Nicole had no idea what her husband wanted to tell her, but she prayed it would be to declare a truce. She hated fighting with him. She knew that the news of her possible pregnancy had thrown him for a loop.
But now Nicole was ready to play nice with him. She did as he instructed and was waiting for him at a busy crawfish restaurant when he walked in. She was seated in a booth, looking pretty and relaxed. The atmosphere was noisy, with fellow customers talking loudly over the sounds of hip-hop. People were peeling their mudbugs and munching on sweet kernels of corn and red potatoes. It almost seemed celebratory and party-like, but Rashad appeared somber as he sat in front of Nicole. At first she was smiling, but when she noticed his dry-ass expression, her heart began to beat wildly inside her chest.
“We need to talk,” he informed her and took a seat.
“Um, hi, hubby. You look nice today.”
“That’s not why I called you to meet with me, Nicole.”
Her face fell. “Babe, alright. You’re not in the mood for jokes. But if it’s about the tires needing to be rotated and balanced, I swear I will make it happen this weekend.” She picked up her smartphone, opened up her calendar, and added the appointment for the tires.
“There,” she said. “Done.”
“Stop wasting your time, Nicole. This ain’t about car maintenance. It’s about us.”
“Alright. What about us? Like, what do you mean?”
She noticed that he stopped giving her eye contact. She lifted Rashad’s chin and made him notice her.
“Talk to me, babe.”
“Nicole, I’ve been thinking . . . and . . . I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“You don’t want to do what anymore?”
“Be together. Be married. To you.”
She shook her head as if she’d heard him incorrectly.
“I’m sorry, Nicole, but . . . my attorney has drawn up the legal paperwork.”
“Huh? Seriously? Paperwork? Rashad, I know you didn’t just say what I think you—”
“We’re through.”
“What you talking about? How can we be through? It’s only been a month.”
“I know.” He knew she could easily persuade him to change his mind, but he wanted to be firm. “I tried, Nicole. I really did. Tried to be patient, be understanding. But too much has gone down. Maybe it was the accident that did it for me. I had to fall flat on my head to think clearly. And I hate to say this, but I’m not sure you are pregnant. It sounded like a desperate lie. And if you’re pretending to be pregnant just to keep me with you, it lets me know you need serious psychological help. That’s why I want out.”
Nicole was stunned beyond belief. “I thought it was for better or for worse. Not for better or forget it.”
“When ‘worse’ is this bad, I don’t want to do it anymore.”
“But it’s so sudden. Is there anything we can do to work this out?”
“There’s nothing to work out because I’m not changing my mind.”
“So, Rashad, you’re saying you won’t even give me one chance to talk about this? I’m sure there has to be something I can do to make our relationship better.”
Rashad didn’t know how to tell her that he wanted an annulment so it could be as if they’d never been married.
“Um, I don’t think so.”
“But don’t you love me?” she asked.
“Love has nothing to do with it.”
“Then what I’m hearing is that you do love me?”
“I love Kiara” was what he wanted to say, but he knew his admission would destroy her. He looked at the door and made sure he had an escape route.
“Love can mean many things,” he carefully answered. “The ability to love someone is not an easy thing.”
“But it should be easy enough, because of the fact that I am your wife.”
“It’s easier when you’re deeply in love with someone. But I don’t have those feelings for you.”
“What did you just say?”
“I-I’m in love with someone else.”
“Who?” Tears quickly filled her eyes. His words hurt her so bad that she felt it must’ve been some weird joke. Surely Rashad couldn’t be serious. How could a husband love any other woman besides his wife?
“All I can say is that you’ve met her before.”
“And who the fuck would that be? One of my coworkers? Or a woman who attended my wedding?”
He quietly watched her reaction.
“Who is she, Rashad?”
“I don’t want to say.”
“And you’re full of shit. I don’t believe this. How can you keep that type of information from me?”
“I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“That’s so considerate of you.”
She wondered if it was Remy Davis, a young chick whom he had mentored at one time.
“Rashad, please tell me that you’re just being silly.”
“I’m being real. It’s no joke.”
“No, this can’t be the real you. I refuse to believe it.”
“Nicole, all I can say is that I thought about it and thought about it. I care about you, but we maybe would have been better off as friends. I had fun with you in the beginning, but I honestly can’t see myself being with you for the rest of my life. You spend money like it’s going out of style.”
“Oh, okay. Is that what’s bothering you? You’re right, babe. I’m a shopaholic, but if that’s why you’re pissed at me, I can quit right now.” Feeling relieved, she opened her purse, dug in her wallet, and slapped her Visa, Amex, Discover, and MasterCard on top of the table. “You can have all these fucking credit cards. Go on, cut them up. I’ll stay out of the malls. God knows, I have bought enough things and don’t need anything else. But it’s the baby I’m mostly concerned about.”
“Your shopping sprees have nothing to do with Emmy. She’s my heart. Whatever she needs she’s still going to get. But, Nicole, can’t you see we come from two different backgrounds?”
“Are you judging me? I can’t help how I was raised.”
“I know that. But we are so different in how we look at things, important things like money and material goods.”
“What are you talking about? You act like I worship the almighty dollar or something.”
“Some days you do. You act like if you can’t have something you’ll have a nervous breakdown. I work hard for what I get, and for you to treat it like it’s a game and like money is so easy to come by, well, it makes me sick. Now, that’s just how I feel about the matter whether you understand it or not. Look at this.”
He pulled out credit card statement after credit card statement from a sheaf of papers that she hadn’t noticed he’d been holding when he first walked in.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” she muttered.
“Look at this. Pages and pages that itemize things you’ve bought, or ordered online, and tried to hide from me. I feel like I’m a victim of identity theft. You didn’t respect me enough to even ask before you went and bought all kinds of stuff.”
“Rashad, now I know you’re kidding.”
“Am I smiling right now, Nicole? Can you face the truth for one day in your life?”
The stack of papers sat on the table in front of her. She had to close her eyes for a moment to help ease the nausea she felt in her belly. Rashad looked angrier than she’d ever seen him. And the party atmosphere had swiftly turned into the cold air of a funeral. As reality set in, Nicole could tell by the weary look in his eyes that her husband meant every word he said. He spoke his truth. But what about the words he’d announced in front of the minister the day they got married? Were those words filled with truth, too?
Just that quick, Nicole began to resent Rashad. Why did it seem he always got his way? And why couldn’t she have the husband that she’d always wanted?
This would be Rashad’s second divorce in less than a couple of years. Obviously he didn’t take marriage seriously. How could this man toy with her heart as if she were a twenty-minute game? Her soul was involved, as well as her pride. She thought of all the people who came to see her at her wedding. My God, she had just finished mailing the thank-you cards for the gifts they received. And part of her ceremony was even loaded up on YouTube; it had gotten thousands of views. Sure, maybe she could have exercised more wisdom and not have uploaded the video clip. But hell, it was the happiest day of her life, her proof that dreams did come true.
“I’m sorry for anything I’ve done. It was not intentional. Please, please don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, too, Nicole, but I want to go on with my life.”
“But what about my life? This sudden decision is ridiculous. At least you gave Kiara ten years. Why did I get the ten-minute marriage, huh? This proves that I’m not good enough for you.” Tears streamed down her face. “Even that awful Alexis got to deal with you for a few years in secret. But me? Why am I the woman that you discard like trash?”
“Whoa, I’m not calling you trash. It’s not that bad. We just don’t click as much as I thought we would. Nicole, like I said, I’ve given this some thought and I didn’t go into this marriage lightly. It ain’t your fault. Blame me, because I think I rushed into this. Yeah, back then, things were going well. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t.” He paused. “The love I have for this other person is the kind that I want to have. And I learned that my heart is not big enough for two women. You know this. Side chicks know this shit don’t always work—”
“Hush, just be quiet. You’re making things even worse than what they already are . . .” She wanted to reach over and slap his face. She wasn’t a side chick. She was a wife. And she could not imagine another woman getting the love that she wanted for herself. Rashad was hers. No way he’d love another woman.
“So, who is this woman you’re in love with, Rashad? You say I know her? Is it Alexis? Did she connive her way back into your bed? She hates my guts. And if she gave you some pussy, it’s only because she wants to hurt me.”
He laughed but didn’t say a word.
It was almost as if he was hiding something. And the fact that he was talking to her about loving someone else, she almost wanted to doubt him. Because if the man really loved another woman, why was he still here talking to her?
Rashad quickly stood up. He had gotten everything off his chest. “Nicole, sorry to have to do this, but there is no other option. I suggest you consult an attorney.”
“So you’re serious?”
“I am. Get yourself some representation.”
“If I do, I’m making you pay my attorney fees.”
“You can try but it’s probably not gonna fly.”
“Rashad, how can you be so cruel? I don’t have money for an attorney.”
“I look at this marriage like I’m the CEO of Eason and Son. My employees are either an asset or a liability. If they’re making me lose money, I get rid of them.”
“What the fuck? I don’t work for you. I’m your wife.”
“And as my wife, if you’re not adding to me, you’re taking away from me.”
“That’s some cold ass shit, Rashad.”
“The world is cold.”
“And you’re much colder than this fucking shitty world.”
By this point a few more people had entered the restaurant. It was time for him to leave before things grew ugly. “Um, Nicole, I thought you should know that some of my stuff is already gone from the house. I had it moved.”
“What did you say? Like, why? When? How?”
“I had it done while you were at work today.”
“So you moved your shit out behind my back?”
“Nicole, you can be very unpredictable. If I had told you this at the crib, or told you first and then wanted to go back in the house for my stuff, you might’ve tried something crazy.”
“You actually believe I’d set your shit on fire or something like that?”
“Maybe, you never know.”
“I wouldn’t do that. I don’t care about any of that.”
She stood up. Hate and love had the same intensity. And as much as she hated him, she knew the love was still there underneath her wounded feelings. But what about him? This man had to have loved her, right?
Every part of her body trembled. She knew she might have sounded and looked pathetic, but she wanted to fight for her marriage. “I-I don’t understand why you’re acting like this, but I love you, Rashad. I-I may have made mistakes, but why would you go and be with someone else when you know I love you as much as I do?”
He gave her a blank stare, as if love from the wrong woman could never make a difference. He decided he just needed to leave the restaurant. Leave her alone. Leave her to fend for herself. Again.
* * *
Rashad had just arrived at Lily Tangaro’s office for another consultation. He waited in her office while she tried to end a phone call with another attorney.
As Rashad thought about the morning of his second wedding, he reasoned that his chances of getting an annulment were good. They had to be. Because, right or wrong, he wanted his dignity, his sanity, his money, and everything else that their union had confiscated from him.
On Saturday, March twelfth, the day he was to marry Nicole, Rashad’s close friend, Delbert, noticed how Rashad made a trail across the carpeted floor of the hotel room that he’d rented the day before. Rashad had ambled over to the window and stared out over the city. He walked over to the bar and sloshed around a glass of ice water, he then went into the bathroom to stare at his reflection in the mirror. Then he started the process over again.
Finally, he returned to the table filled with fruit and cheese and took a seat.
“Rashad? You good?” Delbert asked.
“Man, I wasn’t even this hyped when I married Kiara.”
“Yeah, dude. I remember. You were way more chill on that day. So, what’s up with you now, running around this room like you on crack?”
“That’s just it. I don’t know why I can’t sit still for long. Nervous energy, maybe?”
Delbert thought Rashad sounded skeptical. “You getting married today, dude. You sure you wanna do this?”
“Yeah, yeah, bro. It’s a wrap. This girl is cool. She’s an around-the-way girl. Maybe not as seasoned as Kiara. A little young for me to take as a wife, but she’s crazy about me and our kid.”
“Dammit, Rashad, I’m about to ask you one more time.”
“Look, Delbert. I told you I’m good. My little ride or die is the submissive type. I think she will do whatever I say from now on. I need a woman like that. Someone who looks up to me, who openly loves me instead of denying her love.”
“Alright, fine. Do you love her, though?”
“Ain’t no way I’d be here if I didn’t feel something for her. I just need to wind down a bit. Then I’ll be straight.”
Delbert shrugged and asked Rashad to wait a second. He fished around in his pocket and produced a tiny pill.
“What’s this?”
“It’ll calm you the fuck down. And make you look and act normal, hopefully. ’Cause right now you look like you about to walk down a long, dark hallway to face a firing squad.”
“Oh shit, it’s that bad?” Rashad laughed. “Yeah, I might as well wash down a pill so I can be ready to make this commitment.” He thought for a moment. “I can’t believe I’m about to tell a woman who’s not Kiara that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
“Dude, go ahead and take that pill right now. I’m sick of you talking ’bout Kiara. Remember, she can’t stand your black ass. She kicked you out your own house. You need to forget her, man. For real, for real.”
“I don’t know if I can ever forget Kiara. But yeah, I need to focus on the future. Stop chasing a woman who’s running away from me. Making Kiara my wife was the happiest day of my life. But the past damn sure ain’t trying to repeat itself today.” Rashad opened his mouth, shoved the tablet down his throat, and quickly swallowed a shot of vodka. It burned so bad that he began to cough.
“You swear to God that this little pill won’t kill me, right?”
“Nah, man. It won’t kill you. But see, it’s going to make your stomach feel fucked up for a minute, and you might feel as sick as a dog, throw up a little bit, but you’ll live. You’ll bounce back, though, a little later.”
“I hope you’re right.”
The wedding would begin in two hours. Rashad knew that the effects of the pill would impact him real soon.
“Look, man. I need you to do a good job of recording my ceremony and reception, alright? Get lots of footage from the very beginning to the end. Just follow us around with the camera, getting different shots of us, the vows, the wedding party, the guests, the families’ reactions, all of it.”
“Sure, I got you.”
Delbert kept his promise. He trailed Rashad throughout the wedding, capturing the peculiar way he slurred his words during the vows. Delbert got scared for a second, thinking that the pill had worked a little too good, but it turned out to be alright because before he knew it, Rashad Eason repeated his vows well enough to earn a new wife. Delbert alternately laughed at Rashad and videotaped him turning up at his reception; Rashad drank like a college freshman, walking around with bloodshot eyes and laughing hysterically. Delbert just figured Rashad was happy to get it over with and was ready to party. Or maybe the man was trying to forget his first wife.
And after becoming a second-time husband, when Rashad realized that his marriage was over and he held his first consultation with Lily, she asked him if he could think of anything that had proved he was under duress at his wedding. That’s when he remembered the recordings that Delbert had produced. And Rashad got excited. He told her yes. He brought the DVD to Lily, and she shook her head as she watched.
“My goodness, you were wasted. You could barely stand on your feet.”
“And what does that mean for my case?”
“It could mean that you really didn’t know what you were doing . . . You were too drunk to actually know what you were agreeing to when you stated your vows. We’ll figure out something.”
“Good.”
“Rashad, it’s none of my business—”
“If you want to talk me out of it, don’t. I’m trying to regain my life, Lily. I need you to work your legal magic. Get those papers ready so she can be served like she’s never been served before.”
“As you wish,” she said. Rashad hopped up and handed Lily a three-thousand-dollar cashier’s check and told her he’d see her soon.