Chapter 20
Weeks later, on a beautiful, late summer day, Eddison and Kiara drove out to his property in Katy. Myles and Jazzy were seated in the back of the car, both talking over one another as they enjoyed the pleasant ride. Eddison had popped in a CD by world-renowned composer and pianist Brian Crain. “One Morning in June,” a beautiful piano and cello duet, was playing softly in the background.
“Oh my God, this music is amazing,” she told him. “It is so peaceful. Everything I need and want.” Kiara relaxed in her seat and couldn’t have been happier. Life had been tough going for a while, but things were looking up.
“What does the music make you think of?” Eddison asked as he drove.
“Being free, letting go.”
“Good. That’s the effect I wanted it to have.”
“You’re a clever man. You know just what to do.” Kiara was so content that she felt a little guilty. Ever since her ex was killed, she’d experienced a myriad of emotions: anger, sadness, and her brain flushed with so many memories. Things she wanted to forget, but she knew she had to remember, for through her recollections his memory would go on for her children’s sake.
Once they arrived in Katy, they got out of the car and walked the grounds. Together they reviewed the floor plan of the dream house they planned to build.
Kiara stood on top of the grass near the front of the land.
“Okay, this is where Myles’s room will go, and Jazzy gotta be right next to him so they can drive each other crazy,” Kiara said.
“Yes. And I think Hayley won’t mind bunking with her sister.”
“I agree. Kids need to share bedrooms and not always have their own.”
“Unless it’s a little infant, a newborn who needs its own room,” Eddison gently told her. She looked up at him and smiled.
“Wow! I agree with you two times within one minute. You’re good, Eddy.”
They both decided that they wanted to have a baby together. And Kiara was so happy that although at one time she thought she’d get her tubes tied, she decided not to. She would be honored to have this man’s child.
“I love you to the moon and back, Eddison Osborne. You have proven yourself over and over again. I feel like I don’t deserve you sometimes.”
“You are the best woman ever. The best mother. The best everything.”
“Oh, you exaggerate. But I love it.” She sighed with contentment. But he had one more thing to tell her. “I just wish you’d change your mind about—”
“Eddy, I think we can be happy without that piece of paper. So many people will do anything to get the piece of paper, but it doesn’t guarantee their happily-ever-after.”
“I understand but—”
“But nothing, sweetheart. I feel blessed to have you right now, right here, and I know I will always love you. I don’t want anything to mess that up. I’m afraid of marriage, but I’ll take another chance on good love, Eddy.”
“Marriage provides much more security than simply living together. Don’t you want that?”
“I’m secure in that I love myself. I adore my children. I know that you are a good man, the best man I’ve ever met, and I feel confident you will always do the right thing and make sure that I’m okay. That’s enough for now. Anything else would be a bonus.” Kiara Eason knew that she wanted to love again, but this time she was determined to get it through her own terms. Whether Eddison thought she was copping out on him didn’t matter. Her heart must be protected. No matter what it took.
* * *
Evelyn and Mimi came to see Nicole one Friday evening in early October.
At first mother and daughter grimly stared at each other through the big, thick glass partition. Finally, Nicole spoke.
“I should have listened to you.”
“Most adult kids stop listening to their parents. And all we can do is to try our best to raise you.”
“Who is going to tell Emmy what she should and shouldn’t do? Damn, I really messed up. Things got way out of hand. But I feel like I’m innocent. I was set up. My lawyers will prove my innocence. And that bastard Ajalon will pay for what he did.”
Evelyn raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
“Yes, Mama! He committed the ultimate betrayal. Ajalon took me to the cleaners and I didn’t even know my pants were off. When I get done with him, he’ll wish he could walk to the cleaners. I know people.”
Evelyn laughed. “You still don’t get it, do you, Nicole? When will you learn that you can’t keep trying to pay someone back for hurting you? Your husband tried to do that, and look where it got him. Let it go, baby. Or else the cycle will continue . . . until another person ends up dead.”
“It won’t be me.”
“But you never know how things will turn out. I never thought you’d end up here.”
“For once, I agree with you, Mama.” Her voice trembled as she poured out her heart. “I hate it here. I think I might seriously go insane. And the food they serve to us . . . I could get better tasting food from a garbage dumpster.”
Evelyn felt so sorry for her child. Compared to how she existed now, she was sure Nicole would give anything to go back to Alabama, and eat her mom’s cooking and live in the tiny one-story house that she couldn’t wait to escape.
Nicole stared into space and continued. “I’ve been thinking a lot. And every day I ask myself, is it my fault for wanting the nice, normal things I’ve wanted, even if I made the wrong choices in trying to get them? I didn’t mean for all that crazy shit to happen. So what is it about me, that I can’t get what so many other women have? The Kiara Easons of the world. The beautiful, successful women who were easily handed the good life? Ever since I can remember, it’s like God has had it out for me, but why?” She sniffed and looked to her mother, who had no answer. “You know what, Mama? If there’s nothing else I’ve learned, it’s that I finally understand why some people become criminals. They may have tried to do the right thing, but bad still happened. So what else could they do except do things differently? They know their way is risky, but they roll the dice anyway. Mama, if you know what it’s like to lose all your life, what more do you have to lose?” Memories of what Nicole gained and lost flashed through her mind. “I-I felt I had nothing left to lose. And by being here, it looks like I’ve proven that. But I never wanted to prove anything except that I could have a good husband, a child, a nice home. Normal shit.” She sneered as she looked around. “And now all I have is this fucking miserable, unreal existence.”
“That sounds like a confession to me, daughter.”
“You know what I confess to? You asked me a question a while ago. Which part of me wanted revenge? Well, my wise mother, the wife part of me loved Rashad and could never hurt him. But the revenge side of me is the mistress. She is the one who is given a shitload of broken promises. She is the one whom a married man builds up with his false dreams. His ‘I love yous’ that don’t mean a thing. That’s the part of me that Rashad let down. Yes, I’ve been a wife. But the mistress part of me, that I wish I could totally get rid of; she wanted him dead and now I wish she were dead.”
Nicole broke down and began to sob. She covered her eyes and wept as the sorrow of her reality overwhelmed her entire soul. Evelyn wished she could reach through the glass and comfort Nicole, but what had her advice ever done for her daughter? For a minute Evelyn hated Rashad. And the only thing she could do right then was cry silently with Nicole and mourn the past.
* * *
Kiara was comfortably sitting on the lawn chair on the patio. She was browsing through a fashion magazine and sipping on iced tea. Myles suddenly burst through the door, holding her cell phone.
“Mommy, your phone is ringing.”
“Well, gee, thanks, Myles, for bringing me the phone. I’m shocked you don’t know how to answer it.”
She flipped back her hair and answered. It was an unrecognizable number.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Kiara Eason?”
“Who’s speaking?”
“My name is Patrice Grant. I’m calling from MetLife.”
Kiara’s heart dropped. “Is there anything wrong?”
“No. I just wanted to inform you about an insurance policy.”
“Oh. Not interested. Good-bye.”
“Hold on. Don’t hang up. Um, this has to do with the death of Rashad Eason.”
Kiara hesitated. “What about it?”
“We are sorry for taking months to contact you. But someone had been going through a lockbox that he had at a bank, and they found a life insurance policy that apparently the people close to him didn’t know existed. I wanted you to know that Rashad listed you as his beneficiary.”
“What? We aren’t—”
“And we have a check ready for you to pick up. Bring your driver’s license.”
“Oh. Alright. How much?”
When Patrice told her, she nearly hung up on the woman.
“Okay, Ms. Grant. Thanks for the call. I’ll be in to your offices. Very soon. Good-bye.”
Kiara stared into space, feeling as if she was dreaming. Could it be possible that this man really had cared for her after all? Sure, some of his reckless and selfish behavior had led to so much confusion in their lives that she’d had no choice but to want better for herself. She thought that he might have forgotten to change his beneficiary from her to Nicole when he got remarried. But something told her that he left her on the policy on purpose. Maybe in his own peculiar way, Rashad’s enduring love for Kiara and his family had caused him to look out for her even when she might not have deserved it.
“You crazy-ass man.” She fussed at him as if he were in the room. Memories flooded her heart and mind. And the pain of his absence threatened to cause her to cry fresh tears. But she had made peace with him and did not want to cry anymore. Kiara wiped the corner of her eye and said out loud, “You’re not going to believe this, but guess what? I loved you. Period.” And she realized she did.
She remembered the ups, downs, highs, and lows, and she knew that nothing or no one could cause her to ever forget the love and the life that she shared with Rashad Quintelle Eason.