Josh stood next to his stepsister at the foot of “Matrimony Falls” the next morning. The site was as beautiful as Jean had described back on those starlit evenings lying on a blanket on the college lawn. As he stared at the sheets of water tumbling urgently down the endless staircase of stones, it was easy to see why she spoke of them with such awe. The gentle roar drowned out the whole world—not in the loud sense, but in the sense that it felt like a bastion of peace. Violet was right; there was something frozen in time about this place that made it an ideal setting to capture a milestone moment like getting married.
Still, the strange discord of being here with Jean Matrim, knowing what he knew now, challenged any real sense of peace. He’d barely slept after leaving Jean’s home, and he doubted she fared much better from the circles under her blue eyes.
“We’ll be the first to marry here?” Violet asked again.
“In a manner of speaking, yes,” Jean replied. Josh marveled at how she was able to play it so cool when he fought the dizzying sensation of his world turning in loopy, tangled circles, of his past colliding with his present while staring down his future. “I’m sure you can see why local brides and grooms have chosen Matrim’s Falls for their ceremonies for years. You and Lyle, however, will be the first to tie the knot at the foot of Matrimony Falls.”
Violet beamed and offered Josh the love-struck smile she’d been giving him with every such comment since they arrived. It was sweet, in a slightly obsessive way, how taken she was with the place and the idea of being Matrimony Falls’ first official bride.
“You’ll be the first to use this lovely new gazebo built just for weddings, too. And the first bride to walk down that flagstone aisle.” She pointed to a path of carefully laid stones that wound its way between the two wooden platforms where he assumed the guest chairs would be placed. “God’s very own chapel of leaves,” she said.
Jean talked about her dad and grandpa spouting lines like that all the time. Neither Josh nor she had much time for spirituality back in school, and he still didn’t, but the tone behind her words and their conversation last night told him priorities had shifted for Jean. Didn’t everyone say becoming a parent did that to people?
One thing hadn’t changed: she was as beautiful as he remembered. The long blond hair that entranced him back in school was cut to a sensible crop just off her shoulders. The crazy, dangly earrings she’d favored were now replaced by small gold knots. She didn’t look old by any means, but she didn’t look young, either. Now a quiet grace filled her features. There had been a time when he felt he knew everything about her, but had he really? This morning it felt as if he knew next to nothing.
When would they get more time to talk about this? He was here for only forty-eight hours—and this felt like it would take weeks to untangle.
“It’s stunning,” Josh said, mostly for Violet’s sake, but the scenery really was breathtaking. If all these wedding-ready amenities were Jean’s doing, he was impressed. “You built all this up recently?”
“The whole town’s pitched in to create what we’ve got now,” Jean replied. “Rob Falston from the hardware store built the gazebo. Dave and Maureen Rodgers laid the flagstone aisle from stone their son gave them.” She gestured toward the falls. “Of course, no one takes credit for the natural beauty and atmosphere of Matrimony Falls—that’s God’s doing.” She leaned in. “But even God’s green grass can stain a white dress and be tricky in heels, so we added the stones.”
“See?” Violet smiled. “I told you Jean thinks of everything.” His sister held up the swatches of fabric—the wedding party’s colors—and the three lengths of ribbon the florist, Kelly, had given them yesterday. “See how it all works together, Josh?”
He could see that. He’d just grasped the full extent of it two meetings ago and had a whole lot of other things on his mind now. “Very pretty, Vi.”
Jean gave him a look that told him he hadn’t entirely hidden his level of distraction. “There are so many details to a wedding,” she commiserated. “It can get a bit overwhelming. We hope to add another wedding planner at the end of the year so that we can keep up the individualized attention to each bride as we grow. But you, as our first, get my full attention.”
Violet grinned even wider. Josh really was happy for her. They had only each other now, with the father they shared and both their mothers gone, so he wanted to help—logistically and financially. It was just that Jean and Jonah had completely blindsided him.
“Why don’t you go stand at the top of the aisle, Violet, and take in the view,” he suggested to his stepsister. “I always look out from the podium an hour before I give a big speech. It makes it feel familiar, and you’ll be less nervous when you stand there on your wedding day.”
“Great idea,” said Violet, who handed Josh her notebook and turned to walk up the aisle to the trellis that marked the bride’s entrance into the clearing.
When Violet was a dozen yards away, Josh took half a step closer to Jean. While still keeping his smiling gaze on his stepsister, he leaned in and said, “When can I see him?”
Her sigh was enormous. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? I’m his father. When can I see him?”
“Try to understand how difficult this is. You can’t just show up in his life, Josh. We need to think about this, figure out how to introduce you in a way Jonah can understand and cope with. He’s five years old. Most of this is way over his head.”
Josh ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation. I can’t believe I have to figure out a way to introduce myself to my own son.” He looked at her. “Have you said anything to Violet?”
“Of course not. Have you?”
“Are you kidding? I have no idea how to handle this. Or what to say, if anything.”
Violet came back down the aisle, then stood with one hand on her hip, her gaze tacking back and forth between him and Jean. “Okay,” she said slowly. “What’s going on here?”
Josh’s first thought was You’d have to be blind and deaf not to see what’s going on here, but now that felt like a terrible, tasteless thought to have. “Um... Vi, I...”
Jean took charge of the conversation. “The truth is, Violet, that your brother and I have...a bit of a history.”
Violet’s eyes popped open wider. “What kind of history?”
“In college. After. We were...together.” And the award for colossal oversimplification goes to...
“You and Mayor Jean?” Violet’s eyes opened wider, if that was possible. “Wait...wait, she’s that Jean? Wow. What are the odds?”
“I’ve been asking myself that for the past eighteen hours,” Josh replied.
“You know,” Violet said, “I think I’ll just head on back to Kelly at the flower shop and go over these colors again. Or order more centerpieces. Leave you two kids to settle things.” Being three years older than Violet, Josh took issue with the “you two kids” remark, but not enough to say anything.
“Do whatever makes you happy,” he told his stepsister.
“Or takes a lot of time,” she added, smirking. “Remember we’ve got lunch reservations to taste the entrées at eleven thirty.” Violet looked at Jean. “You’re welcome to join us, you know. I expect you could tell me a few great stories about my stepbrother here.”
Her suggestion would take the awkward level off the charts, and Josh wondered if Violet didn’t realize that, or simply didn’t care.
“You’re sweet to offer, Violet, but I’m sure Hailey can take perfect care of you.”
“See you at lunch, then,” Josh said with tightly forced cheer. Violet would have a long list of questions, surely none of which he knew how to answer quite yet.
“Bye.” Violet took one last look at them as she started on the path that led back to town. “You. Two. In college. Wow.”
Josh heard Jean push out a breath just as he released his own exhale once she was out of sight. “Wow indeed.” He took a step toward Jean. “I mean it, though. We’re only here until tomorrow afternoon. You’ve got to let me meet him.”
Jean leaned against the gazebo. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I think it’s best if he meets you without knowing who you are just yet. He needs time to adjust to the situation. I can barely handle it as it is, much less find the right way to explain it to him on short notice.” She looked up at him. “Can you handle that? Meeting him first as Josh Tyler, brother of the bride, instead of Long-Lost Dad?”
Long-Lost Dad. Words Josh still couldn’t believe applied to him. The list of ways he felt unready to be a father could fill a phone book at the moment. He ran his hand down his face. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. But how do I...speak to him? Or him to me?”
“The same way lots of people do—through me.” She waved her hand in a silent “hello.”
“And some things are universal. A smile, a wave, a handshake—” she brightened with a sudden idea “—or a milkshake. Why don’t you meet us at Marvin’s ice-cream parlor at two thirty?”
“I can do that.” He couldn’t not do that—no way was he leaving Matrimony Valley without meeting Jonah, even if it had to be under forced and not-entirely-forthright circumstances.
“Do you want to tell Violet about Jonah?”
“No. Not yet. Not until I have my head around this. I’m hoping there’s a way to not let the wedding get all weird because of this.”
Jean gave a tense laugh. “I know this is hard. For both of us. But I’d like to think we can avoid messing this up for Violet. Or for anyone. Violet’s wedding needs to be perfect for a lot of reasons bigger than you and me and Jonah.”
“I get that.”
Her eyes met his. “I can’t believe I didn’t put this together earlier. She’d mentioned a brother Josh more than once, and I saw your name on a form somewhere. I remember thinking, ‘Isn’t that a funny coincidence?’ I never dreamed...”
“Me neither.”
“I know what Dad would say.” Her gaze cast back to the waterfall spilling behind them.
“What’s that?”
“That there are no coincidences. Only ways God surprises us.”
He hadn’t set foot in a church since Dad’s funeral—and it had felt cold and foreign that day, despite Violet’s very friendly congregation. “Well,” he replied, “count me surprised.”
* * *
Jean held tight to Jonah’s hand as they walked down the street. She squeezed his hand three times—their private signal for “I love you”—as they walked, and her heart pinched as her son gave three squeezes back. Her mind cast back to the final day Jonah came to visit Dad in the hospital, and how he kept squeezing his grandfather’s hand three times. The moment Dad wasn’t aware enough to squeeze in reply still ranked as one of the most heartbreaking moments in all of Dad’s passing. Tears stung her eyes just thinking about it now.
She tugged gently on Jonah’s hand to get his attention, then pointed to her friend Kelly Nelson’s Love in Bloom Flower Shop.
“Stop and see Lulu’s mom?” she signed to Jonah. She didn’t really need to settle any floral details for Violet’s wedding, but she needed to talk out what was happening with Kelly.
Jonah raised his eyebrows and made the sign for “cookie?” in reply.
Kelly often kept a stash of goodies for her daughter, Lulu, and Jonah to share at the shop. “Maybe one.” She held up a single finger as she led Josh toward the door.
“Hello, you two!” Kelly said, setting a vase on the counter. “Good timing—I just put a fresh pot of coffee on.” She looked down at Jonah, signing, “Lulu’s at a friend’s, but I still have cookies.”
Jonah’s head bobbed in a “yes” that needed no translation.
“Can we set out a few coloring pages with those, Kelly?” Jean asked. “I need to talk.”
Kelly raised a questioning eyebrow. “Oh. I see.” She waved Jean and Jonah toward her work area in the back of the shop. “Maybe I should get out my stash of chocolate croissants from the bakery? Has it been that kind of day already?” she called over her shoulder as she pulled out cookies, crayons and the stack of coloring books she always kept to keep customers’ children occupied. “Our first bride looks pretty happy to me. And that brother of hers—quite the handsome fellow.”
Everyone always noticed Josh. He effortlessly commanded a room back then, and it wasn’t any different now. “No croissants. I’d eat a dozen. But I won’t turn down coffee.” Best to just spit it out while Jonah was occupied. Jean slipped onto one of a pair of stools after settling Jonah at the end of a smaller table. “It’s actually the brother I need to talk about.”
“The brother?” Kelly came back with two steaming cups of coffee and slipped onto the stool opposite Jean. “Isn’t it usually brides who cause the trouble?”
The scent of Kelly’s cinnamon coffee felt like just what she needed. Well, that and an hour’s conversation. She’d be grateful for twenty minutes if Jonah didn’t start getting antsy. “This problem isn’t wedding related. Well, not directly.”
Kelly took a sip of coffee while she sorted through some stems of luscious white roses. “Meaning?”
Just say it. You need someone else on the planet to know. With a quick glance to make sure Jonah’s attention was on the cookies and crayons, she unnecessarily whispered, “That brother, Joshua Tyler, is Jonah’s father.”
Kelly nearly dropped the bouquet. “What?”
“Our bride’s stepbrother is the man I was engaged to when I came back. He is Jonah’s biological father.”
Kelly scowled. “And he hasn’t shown up before today?”
“That’s because he hasn’t known about Jonah until today. It’s...complicated.”
Kelly’s gaze shifted between Jonah and Jean. “You mean to tell me that somehow Jonah’s father showed up in Matrimony Valley as the brother of our first bride? Without knowing you were here?”
Kelly’s sense of astonishment felt comforting. The situation really did merit the overwhelming shock Jean had been feeling since Joshua Tyler got out of that car yesterday.
Had it really been only yesterday?
“Sounds outrageous, doesn’t it?”
“Unbelievable. Did you...tell him? Did he meet Jonah?”
“I told him. He worked it out before I told him. It’s not a big reach for a brilliant engineer to count to five. And there is a resemblance.”
At just that moment, Jonah looked up at her, and there it was—Josh in his eyes. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen it before, but it seemed to shout at her right now. “Juice?” he signed.
“Sure, sweetie,” Kelly signed back, hopping up from her stool to fetch a juice box from next to the buckets of flowers in the shop cooler. “How’d he take the news?” she asked.
“How anyone would take discovering they were a father after you’d hid it from him for five years.” She’d hid it from everyone—well, everyone except Bartholomew Tyler and Dad—and the weight of that secret caught up with her now. She could no longer be sure it had been the right decision. Had she protected Jonah from rejection? Or deprived him of his father?
“So, not well.” Kelly returned to her stool.
“I don’t really know. He was more shocked than angry, I think. He’s asked to meet Jonah. In thirty minutes, actually.”
“Are you ready? Is he ready?”
Jean felt her face heat up with the threat of surprising tears. “Of course I’m not ready. I know Josh’s surprise was ten times the size of mine, but I’m still reeling. I’ve thought about this since the day I learned I was pregnant. I thought I was preparing myself, but this is all too fast. I’ve decided Jonah will meet him as Violet’s brother for now. It’s not perfect, but I don’t want Jonah’s heart broken if Josh doesn’t stay in his life. And I don’t trust Josh to stay in his life—at least not yet.” She let her head fall into her hands. “Why did this have to happen now?”
“You’ve maxed out your drama quotient, I’ll give you that.” Kelly leaned over the table, nodding toward Jonah. “So he doesn’t know.”
“No. I’ve told you a bit about what Josh was like when we were in California. I can’t bring myself to set Jonah’s hopes up for something he may not have in the end.”
“I know things weren’t good when you were out there, but could he have helped? Been involved? I mean, the guy’s helping his sister get married. He’s got to be a stand-up guy in some respects if he’s here doing that.”
“Stepsister,” Jean corrected. “They don’t have the same last name. That’s why I never connected the dots on this.”
“Well, sure. I mean, who would think? There have to be thousands of Josh Tylers in the world.” Kelly cleaned leaves off the rose stems. “But he shows up here, now.” She offered Jean a sympathetic smile. “You sure you don’t want a croissant? I’d need three.”
The tiny laugh that escaped Jean made this feel like the first lighthearted moment since this whole tense day began. “No. This and your sympathy are fine. And your discretion. I can’t let this get out—at least not yet.”
Kelly put a hand to her chest. “Cross my heart. Wow. I mean, really wow. It’s crazy. But it could be crazy good, right?”
“Or crazy bad. Josh was a workaholic in the third degree then. I can’t believe that’s changed much. He lived life at a hundred miles an hour back when we were together, and I got left in the wake. I don’t have any faith he can be a good influence on Jonah.” She swirled her spoon in the rich brew. “I’ve got to be really careful.” She considered telling Kelly about Bartholomew’s cruel offer, but opted against it. Why complicate an already complicated situation with a dead man’s cruelty that no longer mattered? “Most of the reasons I had for keeping this from Josh haven’t changed. Only now I’ve got to find a way to live with the fact that he knows.”
Kelly narrowed her eyes at Jean, wiggling the scissors in her hand. “You don’t still... I mean...there’s nothing between you two after all this time, is there?”
Jean put her coffee down with enough force to spill a bit, and Jonah looked up. “Absolutely not!”
“Okay,” Kelly said. “Just asking. He looks rich and handsome.”
Jean gave Kelly a look.
“...And he’s a jerk. We don’t like him or trust him. Got it.”
“I don’t know him, Kelly. I kept out of his life. I wasn’t the kind of person who could stand up to him then. So I just shut down that part of my history.”
“You didn’t look him up on the internet now and then? Weren’t curious who he turned out to be? I’d be cyberstalking the guy if I were you.”
“Dad got sick, and my attention had to be here.” That wasn’t anywhere near a complete answer, and she was glad Kelly didn’t press the point.
Jonah finished coloring one page and began leafing through the book to find another, humming to himself in the strange, off-key rhythm of his that Jean always found so fascinating. How did humming feel when you couldn’t hear it?
I don’t regret the way I brought him up. I don’t regret my choice. I left because I knew what I might want would never stand up against Josh’s big plans. But now that it’s come back to face me like this, I’m filled with fears and doubts, Lord. I need way more wisdom than I have. I need Dad, and he’s not here. You can be my guide here, can’t You, Lord?
“How are you letting them meet?” Kelly’s question pulled Jean from her silent plea.
“Not as father and son, like I said. None of us are ready for that.”
“So how do you do that?” Kelly asked.
“Milkshakes.”
“Milkshakes?”
“Marvin’s. At two thirty. It was the best I could do on a moment’s notice.”
“Well,” replied Kelly, returning the now-full vase to the cooler. “It’s as good a plan as any, I suppose. We’d better start praying now, and I don’t intend to stop all afternoon.”
Jean hugged Kelly. “Thanks. I’ll need it.”