Chapter 10
O Lord, how long shall I cry, and thou wilt not hear! Even cry out unto thee of violence, and thou wilt not save!
—Habakkuk 1:2
Gabrielle’s phone rang. She was still lying across the bed crying. At first, she considered not answering it, but decided she should at least see who was calling. It just might be Lawrence calling to tell her he was ready to do the right thing. She looked through blurry eyes at the caller ID and hurriedly pressed the TALK button.
“Hi,” she said as opposed to her normal “hello.” She knew who this was and precisely what was being called to discuss.
“Did you find him?” Jessica Noble asked, getting straight to the point. “Did you get a chance to talk to him yet?”
Gabrielle didn’t quite know how to answer that question. She also knew that neither of them had time to play games. “Yes, I found him. And, yes, I was able to talk to him.” She paused, trying to think of what to say next.
“And—”
Gabrielle had kept Jessica informed as much as she could about what she was doing from her end to help Jasmine, Jessica’s daughter (in truth, Gabrielle’s biological child). Jessica and the hospital team were all searching diligently in conjunction with the donor bank for a possible match. Gabrielle and Jessica both knew that their best efforts would be in locating Jasmine’s biological family to see if any of them might possibly be a good match. At this late stage, they’d given up on a perfect match; a mere good match would give Jasmine a fighting chance. They’d already determined that Gabrielle’s HLA markers (the six markers used to determine how viable a match a person was) were not enough to count as even a good match.
After that, Gabrielle had resolved to get in touch with Jasmine’s biological father. Besides Gabrielle, no one else in the world knew the identity of the father. When she told both Jessica and Zachary that she was trying to get in touch with him, they most likely assumed she’d have to locate him first, that’s if she even knew who the father was. Neither of them had said it aloud, but she felt they were thinking it, especially since it seemed to be taking her so long.
But she knew who the father was and where to find him. She’d called to talk with him as soon as she’d learned she wasn’t a match. Still, she couldn’t very well tell Jessica it was taking her so long because she wasn’t having much success getting in to see an Alabama House Representative, having been put off by his local office here in Birmingham. Oh, yes. And by the way: He’s the biological father of your daughter.
“Gabrielle? Are you still there?” Jessica said.
“I’m here.” Gabrielle looked toward the ceiling, then back down. “And he’s thinking about it.”
Jessica’s voice practically exploded. “He’s thinking about it?”
“Calm down,” Gabrielle said softly. “Yes. He’s thinking about it.”
“My little girl is dying and he’s thinking about it? Nobody is asking him to pay child support or anything. He doesn’t ever have to let it be known that he fathered her. Did you tell him this? That he can be tested and a donor anonymously.”
“Yes, I told him. But he’s just now hearing about all of this. This news is slightly blindsiding him.”
“Well, Jasmine doesn’t have time for him to process his thoughts or feelings about whatever may have taken place in the past. He needs to go and get tested at least to see if he’s possibly a match.” Gabrielle could hear Jessica crying now.
“I know,” Gabrielle said. “Please don’t get upset. I believe God is going to work all this out.”
Jessica released a short laugh. “There was a time when I used to believe that. In the beginning, I did. But how much more am I supposed to take? Tell me: How much more does God want from me? He took my husband and now He’s about to take—”
“No,” Gabrielle said. “Don’t speak those words. Don’t even allow those words to come out of your mouth. Jessica, Jesus came that we might have life and life more abundantly. Then there’s Satan, who comes to steal, kill, and to destroy.”
“So what are you saying? That Satan was the one who took my husband? And that it’s Satan trying to take my little girl now?”
“If you want to go there, then, yes, that’s what I’m saying.” Gabrielle was still learning about God and His Word as well as things in the Bible.
Pastor Landris had just taught on this subject. And one of the things he’d said was that in Job 1:21 when Job said, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord,” that Job was incorrect in his assessment. Pastor Landris explained that the account as listed in the book of Job is correct. But Job’s statement concerning the Lord giving and the Lord taking away was not the correct conclusion. In truth, Satan had been allowed to come at Job. God removed the hedge of protection that kept Satan out. But Satan had been the one to take away from Job.
“Okay, whatever,” Jessica said in a clearly dismissive tone. “Right now, I really don’t have time to talk about God. I just need to do whatever I can to help my little girl.”
“With all due respect, God is the one who can help her,” Gabrielle said. She didn’t want to get into an argument with Jessica. Not at this time, not at this point. She didn’t want to upset her, knowing that right now her mind had to be all over the place. Jessica wasn’t thinking or talking clearly. “Jessica, we need to be speaking what we desire and to keep believing and trusting God.”
“Whatever it takes to save Jasmine’s life, I’m willing to do that. I’d give my own life if God would just spare hers. I promise I would.”
“I understand,” Gabrielle said. “But trust that right now God is working on Jasmine’s behalf and He’s already worked it out. I don’t know how it will be done, but I believe God will do it. I do.”
“So does that mean you believe Jasmine’s biological father is going to go get tested?” Jessica asked. “Does that mean that if he’s not a match, he’ll have his children tested, if he has any, to see if any of them might be a match?”
“I can’t answer those questions at this point. I’m just praying that God will move in the way we need Him to move. That God will touch hearts—”
“And if God doesn’t?”
Gabrielle was crying but trying not to let Jessica know that she was. “Let’s just keep our thoughts on what we desire, okay? Are you familiar with the scripture that talks about whatsoever things are true, pure, lovely, and of good report, that if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, to think on these things? Well, let’s just think on these things for now. Let’s think on the good we desire. Jessica, I believe God is going to bring Jasmine through this. I honestly and truly do. I have faith.”
“I hope God does,” Jessica said. “I’m just so beat up at this point. I don’t know anymore. My husband died. Jasmine is deathly ill. I have my own health issues. And what should be a simple thing, just like it was after you learned Jasmine needed your help, is turning into just more waiting, more anxious moments, and more having to pray.” Jessica was crying now, too. Gabrielle could hear her sniffles as she spoke. “I just feel so alone. It’s like I’m all by myself. It’s just so hard!”
“Well, you’re not alone. God is with you.”
“Yeah, but God created us to have people down here to help us through things. And right now, I don’t have anybody. That’s a fact. I have no family left. And right now, at this moment, the only person Jasmine has left in this world is me.”
Gabrielle considered what Jessica said. “Well, you have me. And if you ever need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on, someone who’s pulling for both you and Jasmine, then I’m here. I don’t mind . . . if you need someone.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“So if I were to ask you to come here to the hospital and sit with me, would you? Knowing that, should things go the way we desire them to, that after this is all over, we all will go back to our respective lives? Knowing that Jasmine is the child you gave up for adoption . . . the child who likely won’t even know she was adopted at least for a few more years down the road? You’re saying you would be there for me now, knowing all of this will most likely come after ward?”
“Jasmine doesn’t know she’s even adopted?” Gabrielle hadn’t ever thought about this. She didn’t know what she thought now because she hadn’t been forced to ever think about the child she’d given up all those years ago.
“No, she doesn’t. My late husband and I had many discussions on when might be the appropriate age and time to tell her. We decided to wait until she was old enough to understand everything and to appreciate how much we truly love her, in spite of her being adopted, and truthfully, how incredibly much her birth mother loved her to make the sacrifices as she’d done.”
Gabrielle’s tears were flowing really fast down her face now. But she was determined to hold her voice steady. “And here we are.”
“Yes, here we are. Praying and doing all that we can to be sure she lives to see her ninth birthday. It’s just not fair.” Jessica stopped speaking, then released an audible sigh. “Listen, I’m going to get off this phone. But if you should hear anything . . . anything at all, will you please—”
“I’ll call you the moment I know something from my end. I promise.”
Gabrielle hung up after saying good-bye. She picked up her Bible off the nightstand and began to turn the pages. She couldn’t remember where that scripture was. “God, please bring it back to my remembrance. Help me find that scripture.”
She fanned the pages, stopped, then scanned down the page. Nope, not it. She allowed the pages to fan past again. When it stopped, she again scanned the page. Nope. Again, she let the pages fall from her thumb, then she stopped and scanned. There it was; the scripture she had just referenced to Jessica. Philippians 4:8. She began to read. “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Gabrielle looked upward and closed her eyes as she thought, Whatsoever things are of good report. I believe God. I believe.