The Other Side of Goodness

Now therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts: Consider your ways.

“I apologize. I don’t seem to have much energy left these days. Just making my way down here seems to have taken a lot out of me,” Jessica said.

Gabrielle and Zachary sat down as well. “You don’t need to apologize,” Gabrielle said. “I understand. You’re dealing with a lot.”

Jessica nodded.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet me here. I realize this was short notice and unexpected.”

“No problem,” Gabrielle said. “This is Dr. Zachary Morgan. I hope you don’t mind that he came with me.”

Zachary took Gabrielle’s slightly shaking hand and looked at Gabrielle. “Actually, I insisted.”

Jessica looked at Gabrielle first, then to Zachary. She smiled. “So this is your doctor friend you told me about? The one who helped you better understand what was going on with my Jasmine.” Jessica nodded. “I don’t mind at all. It’s what my late husband would have done had it been me. It’s good to have someone who cares so much.” Jessica took in a deep breath and slowly released it.

Gabrielle swallowed hard. “How’s Jasmine?”

Jessica shook her head slowly. “Not so good.” Jessica’s mouth trembled as she tried, unsuccessfully, to form a smile. “But she has such a great spirit about all of this. She does all she can to make sure I’m not sad or worried. I try not to let her see me get down, but you know, I have my moments and can’t help myself.” Her smile faded. “It’s so frustrating to sit back and have to watch her go down like she’s been doing and not be able to do anything about it.” Jessica smiled again. “I don’t know what I did to have been blessed with such a beautiful little girl. But I want to thank you so much, Gabrielle, for the gift you gave to me and my husband. If you only knew . . .”

Gabrielle felt tears begin to puddle up in her eyes. She didn’t want to cry in front of Jessica. She was supposed to be here to support her. It was just . . . she’d never considered how her actions would play out all these years later. She’d known she didn’t want to get rid of the baby she was carrying. But she equally knew she couldn’t take care of a child, not at that stage in her life. No family. No help. No place to call home. So she’d opted to give her baby up for adoption and could hope only that the family where the child would end up would love and take good care of her. As she sat here before Jessica, she was able to see that her child had truly gotten that and so much more. Even before she’d known about God and prayer, God had been looking out on her behalf.

Zachary squeezed her hand. He then reached over and took Jessica’s hand and squeezed hers as well.

“It’s so hard when you’re all by yourself,” Jessica said. “It’s hard.”

Gabrielle didn’t want to pry, but Jessica had been the one to open the door. “So you don’t have any family to support you? None?”

Jessica shook her head. “My husband was an only child as was both his parents. His father died two years after his mother, seven years after he and I married. I grew up in foster care, shuffled from one home to another, not really knowing who my parents were. I knew what it felt like not to be wanted. After his parents died, all my husband and I had were each other.” Jessica began to chortle a little. “My husband and I had planned on having this big old family. We were going to have a house full of children.” She primped her mouth. “But things didn’t quite work out the way we’d planned. For whatever reason, I just couldn’t get pregnant. So we decided to look at adoption. I knew from firsthand experience how many children were out there in need of a loving home.” Jessica took her hand out of Zachary’s.

Zachary continued holding Gabrielle’s. “You’re right about that,” he said.

“My husband and I weren’t even going to be choosy about the age of the child we would be blessed with. We went through all of the necessary steps to get our names on the waiting list. And, lo and behold, if we didn’t get a call about a newborn baby.” Jessica looked at Gabrielle and smiled. “Your sweet, little beautiful baby girl with a head full of black curly hair. Of course, we didn’t want to get our hopes up too high just yet. We’d heard heartbreaking stories about birth mothers who changed their minds within the allotted period after signing the papers. But when I was allowed to come into your hospital room, and you released that sweet little baby girl into my arms, oh, my goodness—” Jessica placed her hand over her heart.

Gabrielle began to nod, then wipe tears that were now rolling down her face. Zachary went and got napkins and handed them to her. Gabrielle dabbed her eyes. “She was a beautiful baby, wasn’t she?”

“She most certainly was.” Jessica reached over and grabbed hold of Gabrielle’s free hand. “And she has grown into an even more beautiful little girl.”

Gabrielle nodded continuously.

“Would you like to meet her?” Jessica said, her hand now squeezing Gabrielle’s.

Gabrielle grabbed her hand and squeezed it back without even thinking about it. It had been more of a reflex at the surprise question. She had agreed in signing the papers that she wouldn’t see the child she’d given up until and unless the child wanted to find her after the child turned eighteen. Of course, things changed when Jasmine got so sick and needed a bone marrow transplant. But even then, she and Jessica had agreed that if she had been a match, she would donate what was needed, and things would go back as they’d been. Now, here Gabrielle was, sitting face-to-face with the woman she’d handed her baby over to, and she was being asked if she would like to meet her. Although joyful about meeting her, Gabrielle now knew that the situation with Jasmine had likely become dire.

Gabrielle couldn’t even find her voice now to give Jessica an answer. She nodded quickly, fighting back her tears. She sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. Yes, she would like to meet her . . . to see her again. Yes, she would love to gaze into her daughter’s eyes again.

“Well,” Jessica said, not waiting on a verbal answer from Gabrielle, who was wiping away tears. She used the table to help her push her body to a standing position. “Then what say we go and make the introduction. The only thing . . . I’m not going to tell her who you really are to her. She doesn’t need to know that at this point.”

Gabrielle was already on her feet. She nodded in agreement. “That’s fine. You and I can just be old acquaintances . . . new acquaintances . . . whatever you want to call me or tell her.”

Jessica gave a quick nod. “We still must consider our ways. But at this point, Jasmine needs all the love, support, and positive energy she can get. I may not know much about you at this point, but I know that you love her. She may not know that you’re her birth mother, Gabrielle, but I believe she’ll feel something special when the two of you meet again.”

Standing as well, Zachary grabbed Gabrielle and hugged her. “It’s going to be all right,” he whispered. “It’s all right, in the name of Jesus.”

Gabrielle nodded, took a deep breath, then released it with a slow quiet sigh. She was going to see the child she hadn’t seen in exactly eight years, seven months, and nineteen days.