Looking around, I knew I needed help cleaning up my mess. Vamps could turn into ash; humans, not so much. Also, now that the adrenaline was wearing off, my leg burned. I hated the Deity and their stupid delayed-healing crap. I left the alley, small man in tow, and headed for Sonya’s office.
When I reached the office, I hoped she wouldn’t be angry with me for my mess or for bringing this human into the coven. I mean, I didn’t do this on purpose, but I did go outside alone, so I guess some of it was my fault.
After one more big breath, I knocked on her door. I didn’t realize it at first, but there was someone else in there with her.
“Tasia, what—” Sonya scooted me into her office.
“Where’s Emily?” I asked.
“She left with Lizzie. She was going to sleep in Lizzie’s room. I believe it was to give you some space,” Sonya said.
“As long as she’s safe.”
“What is going on, and why do you have a human with you?” Sonya asked as she took hold of him and sat him in a chair.
Sonya eyed me, waiting for me to tell her what was going on. Ethan was with her, staring at me with wide eyes. I wondered what I looked like—a bloody mess, probably. I swear he looked at me like I’d come out of a gladiator’s arena and whether I was the victor was still up for debate. He walked into Sonya’s bathroom without saying a word and came out with a small medical kit, then looked over my injuries.
“It’s not too bad,” Ethan said as he wiped my face. I recalled the punch to my nose. “Sit, Tasi, and tell us what happened while I clean you up.”
“Deity, Jelena—I killed a few people, and I need some help cleaning up. I don’t know what to do with human bodies. I’m hoping someone here does. As for this guy, I thought maybe someone could convince him to tell us where Jelena is. He knows, because he was supposed to drain my blood and bring it to her.”
I ran through the events, starting with Jelena deactivating the alarms to her coming back for blood. Sonya’s face grew more and more concerned as I spoke. Ethan finished mending me and left the room.
Sonya stood before the small human. “If I ask you where Jelena is, will you tell me?”
“No—no, ma’am. I cannot tell any details of her whereabouts. Even if I wanted to, I don’t know anything. The driver—the one the girl killed—was the only person who knew the exact location.”
“Great, I kept the wrong one alive.”
“Jelena compelled him not to say anything,” Sonya said. “She’s smart. If she is compelling the Deity humans, then vampires will have less of a chance to capture and torture them for information.”
“Can we put a transmitter on him or something to track where he goes? Saving him couldn’t have been all for nothing,” I asked.
“No, Tasia, it wasn’t all for nothing. If my theory is correct, you should be able to do this as well. Watch and learn.” Sonya looked into the man’s eyes and smiled in a way I had never seen before. Her voice became melodic. “What is your name, human?”
The man looked at Sonya and his lips curved upward. “Fredrick, ma’am.”
“Fredrick—what a pleasant name.” His smile grew wide. “I want you to forget what Jelena said to you about keeping secrets. You will tell me where the Deity has Jelena hiding and what they are doing with the blood.”
“Jelena.” His voice was even.
“Yes, Jelena,” Sonya repeated. “Tell me where she is hiding.”
“Jelena is staying in a compound in upstate New York. I am to bring her the blood, help the doctors run tests, and find the properties that may help them create a mutated virus.”
Sonya’s lips twitched upward, and I wasn’t sure why.
“Fredrick, what you are going to do when you leave here is call Jelena. Tell her that the humans she sent with you are dead. You escaped before the girl could kill you too. Any tests performed from here on out, you will sabotage them discreetly. You will tell no one we had this conversation or what you are doing. You will only remember the girl in the alley. You will not remember coming into this house. You will not remember me. Do you understand, Fredrick?”
“I understand.”
I watched Sonya’s dark eyes glisten with an iridescence that reminded me of all the colors I saw when I broke through the barriers and gained the ability to compel. I looked at Fredrick, and he had the same iridescent colors in his eyes. The truth clicked for me—she could lift the compulsion of another vampire. I bet she can also compel other vampires, like I can. It must be because Sonya is an original.
“Good, Fredrick. Go with Tasia, quickly.” She closed her eyes for about five seconds, and it released him. She then turned to me and had me take him out the same way I brought him in, still dazed from the compulsion.
When I returned, Sonya was leaning against her desk with her face in her hands as she massaged her head.
“Sonya,” I said. “I’m sorry for getting upset with you earlier. I only went outside to clear my head because I knew I was out of line.”
“Tasia, what you did was unbelievably irresponsible. Going outside and staying out of the line of sight so the cameras wouldn’t pick you up was reckless.” She was right. Then she surprised me as she strode over and took my hand. “But all I care about is that you’re okay now. Promise me you’ll never do that again.”
I nodded.
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” Sonya said.
Ethan and Len came into the room. Both of them looked at me.
“Little miss,” Len said, “those were three big dudes—not an easy cleanup.”
Ethan looked me over again.
“I’m fine, Ethan. Really,” I said, giving him a warm smile.
Sonya was looking at Len’s phone—most likely at the photos he took of the bodies I left in the alleyway.
“I think Tasia should get some rest. She has had a long night,” Sonya said. Her tone made it clear there was no arguing about that.
“I’ll walk her back to her room,” Ethan said.
Before I could protest, Sonya agreed it was probably best.
“Can we peek in on Lizzie and Emily, please?”
“Sure,” said Ethan.
I stood up. My body was achy, but overall, I was okay.
Lizzie and Emily lay undisturbed on their beds. I realized this was her first actual sleepover with a friend, as silly as that may sound. The thought of us leaving again made my heart hurt. I was going to miss Lizzie tremendously.
Ethan and I said little along the way, but he watched me as we headed into my room.
As soon as we stepped in, Ethan pulled me close.
“What’s wrong?” His voice brushed my skin the way the cool breeze had earlier tonight.
“Nothing, Ethan.”
“You know I can tell when something is wrong with you. Others may buy into the fakeness, but not me.”
“What do you want me to say? That I had a tough night? That Jelena won’t stop until she gets her hands on my sister or me? How about I am tired of everyone asking me if I am all right all the time? Or maybe you want me to say that everything is awesome, and since we’re alone, we can have a heartfelt talk?”
He watched me incredulously as I ranted, though I left out the most significant point of all: how much I was going to miss everyone once we left.
“Do you want me to go?”
There was no malice in his voice, and his eyes were so beautiful. Some would say brown eyes weren’t unique or intriguing, but Ethan’s eyes were so inviting. They took me away from everything happening in my life and made me feel safe.
“No,” I said, plopping onto the bed. “I want normalcy in my life.”
“Can I ask you something?” I could see his inner struggle. “Why were you outside alone? You could have called me, or even Austin, to go with you.”
“That defeats the purpose of trying to find clarity,” I said. “But honestly, Sonya and I got into a fight, and Emily took her side. So I wanted some time alone for once. When I was in Maine, I had all the time alone I needed, and here I feel suffocated sometimes. I thought a few minutes outside would be safe enough. Obviously, like with most other things, I was wrong.”
“What do you mean, like with most other things?”
“Let’s tick down the list, shall we? I was wrong to stay in Maine for so long. I was wrong to run from you and Lizzie when you found us in Boston. I was wrong thinking all vampires are bad and humans are good. I was wrong about the people I trusted. I was wrong about Sonya . . .” I said, my voice trailing off. “And I was wrong to pick Austin over you. I should have fought harder for us to be together, even when you pushed me away. Instead, I turned to a boy who gave me what I wanted from you. Which resulted in a boy who told me, more or less, that he loves me, and I know for a fact I can never return that favor because of you. I want the feeling I get when we’re together—the electricity, the quickening of my heart, the way you make me feel when all you say is hello. I should have been patient.” Ethan’s face was unreadable as I dumped all these things on him.
Before I could tell him I was sorry for being such a brat, Ethan pulled me onto his lap. Our eyes met, and I knew there was no going back from this moment. His mouth met my neck, where the kisses started gently. I gasped. His lips were cool against my skin as he moved to my chin until, finally, our mouths formed a bond. Time stopped. Our tongues found each other’s, his soft against mine. That woodsy, vanilla scent that always lingered on Ethan hypnotized me. I wanted more of him.
I shifted from sitting on his lap to straddling him. If my legs caused me pain as I draped them around him, I didn’t notice. All I could feel were his hands caressing my back, pressing me into him, and squeezing the air out from in between our bodies. His hands drifted down until they reached my waist. That sense of electricity intensified as his hands no longer touched the fabric of my shirt but the skin on my back. Grasping my waist, he drew me in tighter, before tugging at the shirt in a way that let me know he preferred it off. There was urgency, but also a sign of waiting for my approval. I leaned back from the kiss and lifted my arms straight up in the air. His smile was hungry as he pulled the shirt over my head. I returned the smile and found his mouth again.
In one swift movement, I interlaced my hands around the back of his neck, before pulling him down to lay on the bed with me. Never once did we tear away from the kiss. He lay there, his body heavy against me, as he pressed his lips harder and harder against mine. He pulled back for a second, wiping my uncooperative hairs from my face. The corner of his mouth turned up. But before he could kiss me again, I yanked at his shirt to come off. It was less graceful than the way he’d taken off mine, but with the same result.
His bare chest was cool as my fingers traced his smooth muscles. Our eyes met, and there was a hunger in his eyes I’d never seen before. He leaned in, finding my lips once again. Our bodies melted into each other the minute our skin touched. The weight of him on top of me sent tremors through me. The kiss was feral, and the once-gentle touch of our lips became fierce and downright sexy. My tongue searched for his fangs. I brushed it against them, allowing some of the venom to drip into my mouth. It created a tingling sensation on my tongue.
“Careful, beautiful,” he said. “You don’t want to cut your tongue on those.”
His face brimmed with desire. But how far I was willing to go, we would not find out right now. With one last kiss, I relaxed back onto my bed. Ethan shifted, lying on his side, still moving strands of hair from my face and stroking my body with his fingertips.
“This is the most naked I’ve ever been in the presence of a guy.”
This made him laugh. “I guess I’ll need to see if I can get you to say that again next time.”
My face burned at the thought of us more naked next time—would our pants come off?—until reality hit, and I remembered that there would be no next time.
“I need to talk to Austin tomorrow.” His hand stopped, leaving an icy feeling on my skin. “I have to tell him I can’t ever love him. I can’t ever love him because there is a boy who stole my heart on the train platform in Boston.”
Ethan pulled me in for one last deep kiss. “I thought staying away from you was for the best. I’m quickly realizing that was stupid. We need each other, Tasi. Tell me you saw me on the platform at the train station. You saw me in fog-ridden vision. You and I together in some capacity. I didn’t know if it was friends, lovers, enemies, but our lives were intertwined.”
My heart shattered. I sat up, not looking at him, fearful I would cry.
“What’s wrong?” His hand grazed my back, tingling the skin beneath his touch.
“I have to tell you something—something that is going to get me in a lot of trouble with Sonya if she finds out I told you, but it’s something you deserve to know.”
Ethan sat up, sliding his arm around my waist and forcing me to look at him. “Tasi, what is it?”
My finger followed his lips before moving my hand to his chest, resting it on his heart. I’m not sure if I was expecting a heartbeat, but there wasn’t one. My eyes looked back to his, which were staring at me anxiously.
“I went outside tonight to clear my head because . . .” I took in a deep breath, locking my eyes on his. “Emily and I are leaving tomorrow morning when the sun comes up. Sonya is taking us somewhere safe, and after this last attack, I’m guessing there is no changing her mind.”
The space around us remained still for too long.
“I want to go with you. I can help protect you and Emily.” He was serious. “You don’t even have to tell Sonya. I’ll meet you outside when you are ready to leave, and the three of us will go together.”
“Ethan,” I said. “Sonya is coming with us, and Lizzie can’t lose us all in one day.”
“Then Lizzie can come too. I don’t care if the entire coven comes along. We just found each other.” Ethan’s hands were trembling.
“Ethan . . .” I looked away from him. The tether between us loosened.
“No, Tasi, look at me.” My eyes finally met his and tears welled up. When I blinked, a river began running down my cheeks. “You feel it too. Please don’t deny it. We need each other. We need to be together.”
“I don’t . . . I can’t . . .” I covered my eyes with my hands. For the first time, I didn’t know how to fix this. My heart was crumbling into a thousand pieces, and nothing would put it back together after this.
“Tasi, don’t push me away.” His voice was a low growl.
I didn’t know what to say to him. This wasn’t me pushing him away. Did I want him to come? Yes, more than anything. Would Sonya let him come? Doubtful. I let the silence linger too long, and then Ethan was standing up, putting his shirt back on. He didn’t make eye contact with me until he reached the door.
“Have a nice life, Antanasia.”