The caller didn’t need to identify himself. Jane recognized Pastor Congdon’s cheery “Hello” immediately, and her heart soared.
“We did it, Jane. It took the board another two hours of discussion, but finally they voted unanimously to ask Keene Moray if he would take over Jim’s part in Down from the Cross. It’s up to you now, but I want you to know each man on the board will be praying for you.”
She gripped the phone tightly, her heart racing. “Oh, Pastor Congdon, I don’t think I slept a wink last night. I just kept praying over and over that God would have His will in this.”
“Well, we’re only halfway there. He hasn’t said yes yet. You can be sure our prayers will be with you while you approach Mr. Moray.”
She thanked him for his call then slowly returned the phone to its cradle, all the while smiling and already considering the possibilities if Keene agreed to accept their invitation.
“You’re chipper this morning,” Keene said, pushing open the door to the office and entering, carrying two glasses of orange juice from the kitchen. He placed her glass on the desk then glanced at the phone. “Who called? I heard the phone ring.”
I can’t ask him yet. I have to pray about this first. The time has to be just right. “My… my pastor.”
He shrugged. “Oh, I was hoping Brian, my agent, would call. I need to talk to him today.” Pointing toward her glass, he said, “Drink up. You need your vitamin C.”
“Thanks, Keene.”
She watched him move through the door, amazed at his thoughtfulness. Lord, even now begin preparing Keene’s heart for what I’m about to ask him.
Fortunately, the work she had planned for the morning was busywork, requiring only repetitive hand motion and very little brainpower or concentration, giving her time to pray for the task she believed God had given her.
For lunch, Keene sent her to a nearby carryout to buy fried chicken dinners. By the time she returned, he had set plates and silverware on the little kitchen table and added ice to their glasses. She quickly fixed a pitcher of iced tea then sat down opposite him, noting he had been unusually quiet most of the morning.
“Something wrong?” she asked, hoping she wasn’t prying. She lifted her head after sending up another quick prayer.
He spread a napkin across his lap with a deep sigh. “Not really. Just one of those down days. Nothing you need concern yourself about.”
She reached across the table and cupped his hand with hers. Despite the warmth of his skin, cold chills crept up her spine. “Anything I can do?”
He scooted the bucket of chicken toward her. “No, I’m just a bit down. My mom died three years ago today. I wasn’t even with her when she died. I was in Japan, singing at some meaningless concert. I’ve… I’ve never forgiven myself for not coming home when she asked me to.”
In all the weeks they’d been together, she’d never seen him like this, and she wanted to do something—anything—to take his pain away. What could she do?
“The doctor had said she wouldn’t make it a year. I knew that, yet… yet I only made it home to see her twice during all that time. Some son, huh?”
“I’m sure she knew you had obligations,” Jane assured him, wanting to free him of some of his guilt.
“Although she was happy for me and my success, she never wanted to be in the limelight,” he went on, cupping his free hand over hers and giving it a squeeze.
She watched him blink back tears. Sadness for him filled her heart. “She had every right to be proud of you.”
“I remember one time I introduced her and made her stand up, and she nearly fainted.” A tender smile played at his lips while he spoke of his mother. “She… she left me a letter. I found it in her things when I went home for the funeral.”
“I’m sure you’ll cherish that letter for the rest of your life.”
He removed his hand long enough to wipe at his eyes, then placed it back on hers. “In some ways, she reminded me of you.”
She gave him a quizzical stare. “Me? How?”
“She… she…”
His pause gave her cause for alarm. What could there be about his mother that could have been anything like her? “She claimed to be a Christian, too.”
Awestruck by his words, Jane sat staring at him. “You never told me!”
“Although I loved her with all my heart, those last couple of years I found her to be a little weird. You know, always reading the Bible, attending church, listening to Christian programs on the radio and TV. She used to bug me about going to church with her.”
He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped at his nose. “It happened after she moved into an assisted-living home. Most of the times when I visited her, she’d be her usual old self, bragging about winning at Bingo, planning a trip to Las Vegas to gamble with some of the ladies in the home. But all of a sudden, not long before she died, all she could talk about was God and His love. I could not believe the change. I figured some preacher had come to the home and gotten her all stirred up. However, when I asked her what had happened, she explained that some woman from a nearby church started a weekly Bible study there at the home, and she had been attending. The change in her amazed me. She preached at me like you wouldn’t believe. Even on her deathbed when she could barely talk for the pain, all she seemed to have on her mind was God. In that letter she left for me, she kept saying she hoped I’d settle things with God so she would see me in heaven.”
“I’m sure it’s a great comfort to you to know that she’s in heaven with her Savior.”
He drew back slightly, his dark eyes locking with hers. “It would be, Jane, if I believed in God. But I don’t.”
“Your mother believed in Him. Keene, why is it so hard for you to believe He’s real?”
He stood, towering over her, his hands on his hips. “You really want to know?”
His aggressive tone frightened her. “Yes, I’d like to know what could make you so bitter toward God.”
“My dad walked out on my mom and me when I turned twelve, without so much as telling me good-bye, and I begged God to make him come back home.” He dropped to one knee, his eyes level with hers. “You’ll never convince me God is real, Jane. I sort of remember a scripture my mom tried to teach me once. Something about an earthly father who wouldn’t give his son a stone if he’d asked him for bread. Then it went on to say how much more the heavenly Father wants to give good things to His children if they ask Him. I decided, right then and there, if there really was a God, He would answer my prayers. But nothing happened. I never saw my father again.”
“That doesn’t mean He isn’t real, Keene,” she said softly, hoping her words would soothe him. “We can’t tell God what to do. We can only ask Him for what we’d like Him to do. I can’t pretend to tell you why your father left you or why he stayed away, but I do know God has promised to be a Father to the fatherless.”
Keene closed his eyes and blinked hard. “But He let my father walk away from me at a time in my life when I really needed him.”
“God would like to be your Father, if you’d let Him.”
“Isn’t God supposed to be a God of goodness? If He is, why did He let my mother work night and day at a hotel maid’s job to keep a roof over our heads? That woman literally worked herself to death!”
She shook her head sadly. If only she had answers. “I don’t know.”
“If God is real, why did He let that man at your church get throat cancer? And why now? When your church needed him? Answer me that!”
Now, Jane, now. Ask him now, a still small voice seemed to say from within her.
Now, Lord? When he is so angry with You?
Trust Me, child. Trust Me. Now is the time, the voice said.
Jane swallowed the lump that had suddenly risen in her throat and sent up a silent prayer. If You say so, God.
“Well, do you have an answer for me? Why would God do such a thing? You’ve already told me there is no one to sing in that man’s place.”
Jane rose, her eyes never leaving Keene’s. “Because He had a better plan.” His stare made her wonder if she had sprouted wings.
“A better plan? Like what?”
Help me, Lord! “He wants you to take Jim Carter’s place.”