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It had taken some effort on his part, but Ferris had finally gotten everyone in the band to agree to perform a farewell concert at AT&T Park before the band relocated to New York. It helped that each of them had some reason to care about San Francisco, given it was their hometown and where they had gotten started.
Hayden had locked himself in his hotel room for the last few hours and Gina was starting to feel remorseful for her impulsive – and perhaps unfair – behavior earlier. She had assumed Hayden’s feelings for me were fleeting, but the more she mulled things over the worse she started to feel. Despite all the horrible things she had done to me, even she had a decent side to her. And that decent side was starting to speak up inside her head.
She couldn’t help but feel like she had ruined something beautiful out of pettiness and jealousy, and for all that it was probably too late to fix it, she owed it to Hayden to tell him the truth. Deep down, she had always known Hayden was out of her reach. Denial had been her best way to cope with it, but she knew it had all gone too far. This wasn’t the person Gina wanted to be.
“Hayden, we need to talk.” Gina said, finally breaking the silence.
“Ugh, I don’t want to talk, about anything, ever again.”
“I lied.”
Hayden instantly sat up and looked at her. “What?”
“In Machu Picchu. I lied.”
“What are you talking about?”
She took a deep breath, bracing herself to be completely honest with Hayden. “Ali never intended for any of this to happen. From what I can gather she genuinely did just want to get Via Mace’s face changed so she could go back to her normal life as a – whatever it is she does for a living. I know she caused your long unemployment, but it was inadvertent on her end as far as I can tell. And to be quite honest, she and Ferris were just old college friends catching up, they were never even in a relationship.” She paused for a second, then added, “and yes, for what it’s worth, I believe she genuinely cares about you.”
Hayden sat stunned on the bed, clearly taking all of this in. Finally, he opened his mouth. “Why would you lie to me like this?” Hayden’s voice carried clear hurt in it, and he stared at her with the eyes of someone who had been betrayed.
“I’m sorry,” Gina said, feeling truly wretched. She had thought she was doing the right thing, at first, but she got carried away. Even if it had been the right thing for her at that moment, she wanted to believe it was the best for him as well. She had been blinded by her desire to remove me from the equation. “I thought your feelings were just – well. It doesn’t matter why. What I did was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
Hayden laid still for a moment longer, then leapt off the bed, grabbed his briefcase, and dashed out the door.
Hayden silently thanked whatever deities might be listening for the fact that he had all-access passes to the concert so he could talk to Ferris beforehand. He felt awful for thoughtlessly believing Gina, and even worse for picking a fight with me and insulting me without even listening to my side. He was sure that I was still too angry with him to be receptive of an apology from him, but Ferris was there also and deserved an apology just as much as I did. Hayden knew he could be a complete asshole sometimes, especially under stress. But that wasn’t the man he wanted to be—not for me.
I was sure to be at the concert, and he’d have a much easier time tracking me down there than he would before the concert. The Close Callers were too good to miss, and since Ferris and I went way back, there was no way I wouldn’t show up.
Hayden managed to slip back stage just in time to see Ferris open the door to his changing room.
“Ferris,” Hayden called out, almost in a near panic to catch him before he closed the door. Ferris turned around with an instant look of shock. He stared at Hayden in disbelief.
“What are you doing here?” His tone wasn’t unfriendly, only taken aback, and he looked at Hayden with curiosity.
Hayden swallowed. “I came to apologize, I was wrong to accuse you and Ali of all that. I was acting on bad and incomplete information, but I still should have been thoughtful enough to talk to both of you before assuming the worst.”
“I appreciate the apology,” Ferris said, clearly still confused.
“I know you guys are just old friends from college, now, and that’s... good. That’s really good. Friendship is a beautiful thing, and it’s wonderful to rediscover someone from your past, and...” Hayden stopped for an instant and ran his hands through his hair. He was too keyed up and rambling to notice how nervous he was acting. “The truth is, this whole thing with Ali and Mind Lash has stressed me to the max and really put me through the wringer. I know that’s no excuse, and that’s not the man I want to be for her. I’ve completely fallen for her and I’ve got to find a way to make it right between us.”
Hayden paused and drew a deep breath in. He had just realized he was pouring his heart out to a famous rock star he barely knew. He probably looked like a crazy person. Hayden nonchalantly cleared his throat, as if nothing unusual had happened, and reached into his pocket to pull out a piece of paper.
“I found this amazing song of Ali’s, she’s convinced that it’s no good, but I’m sure your band could do it justice.”
“What are you saying?” Ferris just stood there watching as Hayden held out the piece of paper.
“Take it,” he said, thrusting the paper toward him. As he took the song, Hayden sucked in a deep breath, “Please, please play it tonight. For Ali.” The plea in Hayden’s voice was obvious. “I’ve got to go find her now.” Hayden mumbled his goodbyes as he swiftly started to leave the room.
“Hayden!” Ferris called out just before he rounded the corner out of the dressing room. Hayden stuck his head back around the corner.
“She’s special Hayden. She’s a wonderful woman—truly one of a kind. Take care of her.”
A smile warmed Hayden’s face as he gave Ferris a reassuring nod. “I will.” Hayden could see a bit of sadness on Ferris’ face as the two men stared at each other in mutual understanding.
To Ferris I was ‘the one that got away’. He had already come to terms with that. To see Hayden, a once confident and suave man, turned into a train wreck from his emotions changed something inside of Ferris. He could tell that Hayden cared for me deeply. It was written all over his face. There was something special between Hayden and I. He didn’t want to step in the way of that. Even though it was sad to finally let me go, he had a feeling I was in good hands.
I had managed to lose myself in the crowd as everyone listened to The Close Callers playing up on the stage. It was so good to do something other than dwell on my painful emotions. Instead I wanted to listen to music, dance with strangers, and admire my long-time friend at his concert. I was impressed by how well Ferris’ life had turned out and how happy he seemed with his musical career.
I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes as the warm evening air kissed my cheeks. I was finally starting to find some peace, just like I had for a brief moment that Machu Picchu.
Suddenly Ferris and The Close Callers launched into the beginning notes of a song I knew well – all too well. It was the song I had written, the song that Hayden had discovered, the song that Hayden had the sheer gall to take and praise even though it was utter crap. My mood took a sudden downswing. Hearing Ferris play the first notes stung with pain. It was a song I had written about Hayden. I couldn’t ever escape that man!
I stood there in the middle of the crowd with my eyes clenched shut as I tried to fight back tears. The crowd was clearly captivated to hear a song they had never heard before. Just as I opened my eyes I caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye, trying desperately to make his way through the crowd towards me.
I snorted and edged my way towards the other side of the wall, seeking only to get out of the suddenly claustrophobic crowd. I had to admit that Close Callers actually made my crappy little song sound – okay. Good, even, if I was feeling generous. Which I wasn’t. But still, Hayden had no right to invade every aspect of my life like he had.
Just as I thought I had gotten away clean, Hayden appeared out of nowhere at my left shoulder.
“Ali, I’m so sorry, please hear me out – ” was all that I could make out over the roar of the crowd. He looked sincerely sorry, but I was hurt and angry and done with his entire nonsense.
“How dare you speak to me after everything you’ve done?” I almost regretted those words the moment they came out of my mouth – his face twisted with pain and he swayed on the spot – but I couldn’t stop myself from speaking. “You gave Ferris my song? You accuse me of using you to get to Ferris and then what? you think you can make everything better by giving him my song? The song that you had no right to see in the first place? And even if I’d let you look at it, I should have been the one to choose what to do with it, not you! I can’t believe you, Hayden!”
He opened his mouth, presumably to defend himself, but I flung my hands up in the air. “You have hurt me terribly, and you have invaded every aspect of my life and privacy, and I just... I absolutely cannot deal with you.”
With those words I turned on my heel and left just as The Close Callers were singing the last line of my song— “We never had a chance.”
