“OH, HONEY, that must’ve been….” David’s words failed him. What could he say to that? In his wildest imagination, he couldn’t see himself having to tell someone that his or her loved one was dead. Or how they’d died. He curled tighter on the couch and wrapped his arms around his knees.
“Terrible? Horrible? The stuff of nightmares?” Travis groaned. “It was all that and so much more.”
David could hear Travis’s pain loud and clear. Travis was a good man surrounded by evil and David wasn’t sure what he could do to help, but if listening was all he could do, then damn it, he’d do it, no matter how ugly.
“What happened?”
“They were a nice family. You could tell. Hispanic. Not much money, but the home was clean and cared for. Mother, father, and two other kids, both younger.”
David waited for Travis to continue, letting the cop take his time to unfold the story.
“One of the kids, a boy about sixteen, answered the door, so I asked for the father. Sometimes it’s better to speak to the father first. They can handle it better, most of the time.”
“This time?”
“Not this time. I told him we’d found his daughter dead, and he collapsed right there in the living room. Went down like I’d shot him.”
“What did you do?”
“By that time the mother and all the kids had come in. She went hysterical, screaming and cursing at me in Spanish. I’m not fluent, but I know enough.” Travis sighed. “Anyway, I checked him, and he’d just passed out. When he came around, he started wailing that his baby was dead. Then she started wailing. Then the two kids.”
“Oh shit.” David could just see the scene in his mind.
“Yeah, shit. It was a fucking Norman Rockwell moment, with everyone looking at me like I’d killed her, and all I wanted was to get the fuck out of there. Leave all that pain behind.” He groaned. “I just wanted to run out that door, you know. But I stayed to clean up the mess I’d made with even more crap.”
Travis seemed to be on a roll, and David let him talk, get it all out, wishing he had his arms wrapped tight around Travis, wanting to ease his hurt.
“Told them someone had to come down to the morgue to identify the body, and they fell apart again. In the end the mother came with me. The father couldn’t even stand up.”
“I can’t even imagine that. I mean, I don’t think I could do your job, honey. Not carry that gun or use it, not look at dead people, not any of it. Guess I never thought about what cops do besides give out tickets.”
“Yeah, being a detective has its privileges.” Travis snorted.
“I guess being a cop is one of those careers you have to be called to, you know. Have a real passion for it.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“So, despite all the crap, there’s something about this work you do that fills you up. Fills a need in you to do good and to help someone. It’s a great thing, Travis. I really admire and respect that,” David said.
“You do?”
“I do. All I do is make pretty gardens for rich people to sit in and look at. It’s not really valuable in the grand scheme of things. Don’t get me wrong… I love what I do, but I don’t fool myself thinking it’s going to save the world, much less one person. But what you do, every day? That’s something that makes a real difference.”
Travis was silent for a long time; only the sound of his steady breathing came over the line. “Thanks. I mean it. It helps.”
“Really?”
“Really. But you know what would help more?”
“What?”
“You here with me.”
David shuddered at the desire and need in Travis’s voice. He felt the same way, but something held him back. Something that told him if they rushed into anything, they’d ruin what they were building.
“I know, but right now we’re both sort of needy. I don’t want to confuse need with anything else,” David explained.
“Like love?”
“Yeah. I don’t want either of us hurt, honey. Let’s give it some time, okay?”
“Okay. I understand. My dick is confused because it’s impatient, but I can wait. I don’t want to fuck this up either.”
“Thanks.”
“So how was your day?”
David laughed. “Not as exciting as yours. I met with the woman at the elders’ outreach program at the church. I’m going to start interviewing housekeepers.”
“That’s great! With someone there to watch him, you’ll feel a lot better about leaving your dad. Look, I know about guilt. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“I wish. My dad and I haven’t had the best relationship over the years. I know he hated coming to live with me, and not just because he gave up his own home, but because I’m his perv son. In his eyes, I’ll never be more than someone he’s ashamed of.”
“Damn, baby, my parents never gave me any grief over being gay. Guess I was lucky. They weren’t thrilled about it, but they didn’t let it come between us. What about your mother?”
“My mother died when I was a kid. She had cancer. Back then they didn’t have all the success with treatments like they do today. I barely remember her. It’s weird. I have to look at pictures of her to remember her face, but if I smell wisteria, she comes back to me as if she’s standing right there.”
“So do you use a lot of wisteria in your gardens?”
“No. It’s very invasive. But it grows on my fence here at the house.”
“They say smell is closely tied to memory and that it’s one of the strongest triggers.”
“Guess they’re right. Are your parents still alive?”
“Yep. They live up in Montgomery County on Lake Conroe in their dream retirement home. I visit once a month.”
“So all the men in your family are cops?”
“No. I have a younger brother, Trent. He’s the black sheep of the family, He’s a lawyer.”
“Another do-gooder?”
“No. He’s in corporate law. Makes big money. Thirty-eight and he’s already got a vacation house on the lake.”
“Wow. Does he let you use it?”
“Sometimes. Why? You need a vacation at the lake?”
“I might.”
“I can arrange that, baby. He’s got all the toys—Jet Skis, motorboat, fishing tackle. Big sexy fireplace.”
“Sounds good.”
“Does it? You. Me.”
“Fishing tackle,” David quipped.
They laughed, and Travis’s mood seemed to lighten. “On that note, I’ll say good night.”
“You sure?” David didn’t want to let Travis go unless he was in a better place than where he’d started.
“I’m sure. Just talking to you does wonders for me.”
“Me too.”
Another filled silence stretched between them. David thought this would be where they’d just be sitting there, David leaning against Travis’s hard body, their fingers entwined, as they watched the fire flicker, content just to be with each other.
“Night, honey.” David sighed.
“Good night, baby. Your turn to call, remember.”
“Two days. Can’t wait.”
Travis hung up.
David put down the phone on the coffee table but remained curled up on the couch. He felt good, relaxed, happy, and afraid if he moved it would break the spell. Travis made him feel like no one else ever had. Safe. Content. And, in a way, David loved the ache he felt too. This building, aching need for Travis. Not just his voice over the phone, but the need for his body. For Travis’s touch, his fingers on David’s skin.
David wanted Travis. He’d known that when he’d driven away from the convenience store with his father the first time he’d met the big detective. But what he knew he needed even more than a casual fuck, or an off and on fuck buddy, was a man he could rely on, a man he could spend his life with and who’d take care of all David’s needs. A best friend. A lover. A husband.
Detective Travis Hart held the possibility of being all those things.
David wasn’t going to rush it and risk messing this up. It was too important.
DAVID DELANEY Sr. wandered into the kitchen to prepare his lunch. It was a little early, but he was hungry. He went to the fridge and pulled out a pack of hot dogs, a jar of sweet pickle relish, and the yellow mustard, then moved to the counter, opened the breadbox, and got the buns.
A coffee mug sat in the sink.
That’s odd. He’d washed his breakfast dishes and put them away. He remembered that distinctly.
Puzzled, he turned around. “Hello? Is someone there?”
The house was quiet. He went into the living room and looked around. A magazine was out of place on the coffee table. He straightened it, grumbling, then went back to the kitchen.
He was sure he’d closed the breadbox, but it stood open.
Fear reached icy fingers up his spine, and his entire body tensed.
Someone had been in his house. Again.
Leaving his lunch on the counter, he went to his bedroom, put on his shoes, grabbed his wallet, and stuck it in the back pocket of his slacks. After hurrying to the front door, he took a final look back at the living room as if he could see who’d been there.
He opened the door, stepped out, and shut it, then briskly made his way down the block toward the avenue, intent on doing what was necessary.
ANOTHER LONG day gone and one day closer to their phone call.
Travis picked up his watch on the night table and looked at it. Ten o’clock. He crawled between the cool sheets. No body but his warmed them. The coolness against his skin did nothing to relieve the ache in his prick.
Just as he settled, his phone rang. He snatched it up. Please, do not be work.
“Hi, lover.”
Billy. Shit. “It’s late, Billy.”
“Don’t tell me you’re in bed already? The night’s young.”
“I’ve had a long day. A rough week.” Shit. Why was he explaining anything to the little bastard?
“I miss you. Do you miss me?” Travis could just see Billy’s full, pouty lips pressed together, and a shiver ran through him. He fought it off.
“No. No to whatever it is you want. No money. No fixed tickets. No to bailing you out of jail. No.” Travis wanted to reach through the line, take Billy by the throat, and shake him.
“I don’t want anything, and I’m hurt you’d even think that way.” He purred like a cat, sure he’d get his way. “I just was lying here, thinking about you. How good we were together.”
“You mean how good my money was?” Travis wasn’t going to let his ego or his dick allow Billy one foot inside.
“No, lover. Us. You know you loved fucking me. I loved you fucking me.”
“Are you saying, in your own twisted way, you want me back?” Travis couldn’t believe it. Billy wanted him back?
“I didn’t think this little spat would last so long, lover. I thought you’d get over it and come back to me.”
“Get over it? Come back? You cheated on me, lover. Not once, but twice. Then you told me I didn’t meet your needs. That was a pretty clear signal to me that I wasn’t the one you wanted to be with.”
“I don’t know what you’re so upset about… they were just fucks. Nothing serious.”
“Nothing serious. See, that’s the difference between you and me. When I stick my dick in someone’s ass, it’s because I care about them, not just to get my rocks off.”
“You care? That’s so… sweet.” Billy’s voice was like candy, thick and syrupy.
“When you fuck, it’s just fucking.”
“I wasn’t just fucking when I was with you, lover. I care.”
“Not enough, it seems.”
“I had other needs. Darker needs. You know what I mean, and you refused to fill them.”
“I see enough pain every day of my life that I don’t need to cause it. I can’t do it. I won’t do it.” Travis closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Billy had asked too much of him. There was no way Travis could have ever used the flogger Billy had shown him. He never could have tied Billy up, or brought the whip down over Billy’s back and ass. No matter how much Billy wanted it. Just the thought of inflicting pain made Travis sick.
“But I like it, lover. I need it.”
“But I don’t. Look. It just wasn’t right. We’re very different people, that’s all. Can’t we just leave it at that?”
“Is there someone else?” Billy’s voice hardened.
“You mean someone who doesn’t need me to beat them until they bleed? Yeah. There’s someone else,” Travis admitted.
“Are you fucking him?”
“No.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
He sounded pissed and jealous. Good. “I don’t care what you believe, Billy. I just don’t want to see you again.”
“No? You don’t want to see me? Don’t want to feel my lips on your dick, sucking you until you scream? Until you lose control and you’re fucking my mouth, holding my head, giving me your hot load?”
Travis’s dick stiffened. Oh, yeah, his dick wanted that. It remembered that.
“No.”
“Don’t you want to bend me over the couch so you could take my ass? Use your fingers to stretch me before slamming inside me?”
Jesus. Travis’s dick was standing up, begging for a touch, a hand, Billy’s lips, his hot mouth. This had to stop. Travis should hang up.
“No.” Travis slid his hand up his cock, letting the touch give him pleasure. Closing his eyes and leaning back, he jerked off as Billy continued.
“Do you miss reaming my ass, lover? Miss your hand on my dick, jerking me off as you fuck me? Pounding me until I come all over your hand?”
“Shit.” Travis moaned.
“That’s it, lover. Fuck me. I know you’re doing it to yourself. Don’t you want to have the real thing? I could be there in fifteen minutes.”
Fuck. Billy tempted him, made him so hot, but it was wrong on so many levels.
Travis pumped his hips. He was so fucking close. All the blood had left his brain and he couldn’t reason. His body refused to stop. He needed to come.
“No,” he practically growled. Not Billy. He didn’t want or need Billy.
“Just a blow job. Just my mouth on your dick, sucking you. Licking your balls, lover. Taking you all the way. You know he’ll never be able to suck you off like I will. Is his ass as young as mine? As tight as mine? As hot?”
And just like that, Travis was fucking David. His hand tightened, imagining taking David’s ass. God, it would be so good. So much better because, when David cried out, he’d say Travis’s name. Call out for him.
Travis couldn’t shake the suspicion Billy had never used his name during sex because he couldn’t remember who was fucking him.
David would know. David would look up into his eyes, with…. Shit, yes, he’d dream it, think it, even say it. With love.
He wanted David to love him. Travis moaned as his precum-slicked hand moved faster and faster up and down his shaft, building pressure in his balls until he couldn’t stand it.
In Travis’s mind, David reached up, wrapped his arms around Travis’s neck, and pulled him down until their lips met. Then David would whisper, “I love you.”
Travis came, pumping his cream over his belly. “Oh my God. David!”
“Who the fuck is David?” Billy sputtered.
Travis burst out laughing as Billy slammed down the phone.