LIV
ONE YEAR LATER
“Get the hell out of here and don’t come back!”
I stumbled across the threshold of the apartment, almost falling on my face as Luke shoved me outside. I’d snagged my laptop before he smashed it on the floor, and I hugged it protectively against my body as my boyfriend yelled obscenities loud enough for the entire complex to hear.
My face burned, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. “Luke,” I said as calmly as I could against his tirade. “Let’s just…talk about this.”
“Talk?” He huffed out a humorless laugh. “You’ve got to be joking. You’re a damn whore, Liv. I’m not dating a girl who shows her tits on the internet for money.”
My stomach soured. “If you’d let me explain…”
He shook his head, brushing a palm over his cropped brown hair. “Nah, I don’t think so. I saw enough of what you put out there.” His gray-blue eyes scanned me up and down, disgust overpowering his expression. “You’ve gotta go. I can’t even look at you.”
His words were like a knife lodged in my lungs. My pulse quickened as my breathing hitched. We’d been together six months, and it wasn’t a fairy-tale romance. But he helped me pay the bills and after the year I’ve had, I needed him.
I shifted on my feet. “I…I need my stuff.” My voice was small and feeble. Embarrassed.
He slammed the door in my face.
I blinked at the peeling green paint, trying to wrap my mind around what had happened. He’d obviously found my adult subscriber-only website.
It wasn’t something I was proud of. In fact, I hated everything about that website and the “fans” who supported me there. I’d started it out of pure desperation when everything had gone downhill.
My father, who’d once been a wealthy and respected business owner in the town of Cypress Falls, Alabama, had been lying to everyone. For years, he’d committed tax fraud, and it had all come back to bite him in the ass. He’d narrowly avoided jail, for now, but it took him selling the family restaurant and almost all of our assets and money to do it. They left me with nothing but an empty bank account and no skills to get a good job. I hadn’t finished college because I’d been expecting to run the restaurant someday.
That dream died with our family’s reputation.
The apartment door flew open again, and I jumped. Luke’s face blazed as he threw a large black trash bag at me. It hit me in the chest, almost knocking me over, before falling to the cracked concrete with a thump.
“There’s all your shit. Now, leave.” He slammed the door again, the sound reverberating in my bones.
I stared at the trash bag. I didn’t doubt everything I owned fit into it. One black bag that represented what I felt inside. Like trash.
I sucked in a deep breath, my ribs aching with panic and anxiety. There was nothing I could do. The apartment was his. Luke wasn’t a complicated guy. He wasn’t a compassionate one, either. I doubted he would let me back inside, and I wasn’t desperate enough to beg him. Not yet, at least.
Leaning down, my fingers dug into the shiny plastic bag. It was heavier than I expected, so I half dragged it across the parking lot to the rust-bucket of a car I’d purchased for myself. The hinges of the trunk creaked as I popped it open and threw the bag inside. The one bag that held all my possessions.
Flashbacks from almost a year ago barreled through my mind. I’d been living in the second house my parents owned along the river and had promptly been evicted when my father had to sell the place. My mother had been beside herself, crying as she helped me pack the few things I was allowed to keep.
My father hadn’t even shown his face that day.
I leaned against the back of the car, suddenly light-headed. Even though it was a cool, fall day, the metal was warm from the sun beating down on it. I focused on that warmth as I closed my eyes and drew in deep, steady breaths. I imagined the warmth seeping into my skin and warming my cold, bitter heart.
“Hey, what’s up, Liv?”
I straightened and whirled around at the sound of my name. Tanner Forsyth, Luke's friend, stood behind me, a six-pack of beer tucked under one arm and an unlit cigarette teetering behind one ear. His lopsided smile dimmed as he took in my expression.
He glanced at the apartment I’d shared with his best friend until about ten minutes ago, then back at me. “What you doin’ out here?”
Embarrassment flushed my skin. “Luke just…kicked me out.”
Tanner blinked, his brows screwing together as if he hadn’t understood what I’d said. “What happened? I just talked to him twenty minutes ago, and he didn’t say nothing.”
I pressed my lips together. It had been an uneventful day before I made the mistake of letting Luke borrow my computer because he needed a new battery in his. I hadn’t thought he’d go snooping around my internet activity. “Well, it was a bit sudden. He can tell you all the raunchy details if you want.”
My skin crawled, thinking of all the things Luke was going to say about me. The only good thing about it was he wasn’t a local to Cypress Falls. He lived over the river in the city. If I was lucky, he wouldn’t go spreading the news around my side of the river.
Tanner adjusted his backward baseball cap. “So, y’all are over then?”
I kicked at a loose stone. “Looks like it.”
Silence stretched between us, and then a hand gripped my upper arm. The stench of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne filled my nose as I glanced up into Tanner’s suddenly very close face.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said.
Only, he didn’t look very apologetic. The hairs on the back of my neck rose.
“Where ya gonna stay tonight?”
Stepping back, I brushed off his hand that was rubbing up and down my arm. I cleared my throat. “I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”
A look that made me shudder flashed in Tanner’s eyes. “You can always stay with me if ya want. I’ve got room.”
I swallowed the bile creeping up the back of my throat. I’d always thought of Tanner as fairly harmless, but the way he stared at me had warning bells blaring.
Slowly, I backed away toward the driver’s side door. “That’s okay, but thanks for the offer.”
I gripped the door handle, but Tanner had followed me around the car, stepping close again. “I won’t tell Luke, you know, if you want to stay with me. He doesn’t have to know.”
God, I needed to get out of here. I opened the car door. “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind, but I’m going to be late for work.” I said the words in a hurry as I slipped into the driver’s seat.
Tanner said something about calling him, but I cut him off by slamming the door shut and shoving the key into the ignition. The tires squealed as I sped away.
I shivered and watched Tanner in the rearview mirror. He stared after me until I left the complex and turned the corner.
Maybe being thrown out of my home for the second time in less than a year was actually a good thing.
I didn’t stop until I made it to Cypress Falls. The town was tucked in the riverbend, and as soon as I made it across the bridge expanding over the Blue Cypress River, some of the anxiety in my chest eased. Having the river separating me from everything that had happened with Luke and Tanner felt like a layer of protection.
I idled down Main Street. Tall brick buildings lined each side, with little shops and restaurants nestled into each of them. The town was decorated for fall, with displays of pumpkins and hay bales with scarecrows sitting on them at every corner. Big pots of mums were placed outside every shop door. The sight was comforting, reminding me of the coziness of being home.
Except, I didn’t have a home anymore.
The handcrafted sign for Coffee Amore swung gently with the breeze as I pulled up to the coffee shop I worked at. I’d lied to Tanner about having to work, but I wasn’t sure where else to go. I cut the engine and took out the key, but I didn’t get out of the car. Leaning back in my seat, exhaustion overwhelmed me even though it was only midafternoon. Maybe I’d take a freaking nap.
I’d just closed my eyes when my cell phone rang.
My heart dropped, nervous it was Tanner. I didn't want to deal with him anymore today. But my phone screen showed my brother’s name.
“Hello?” I answered, sounding as exhausted as I felt.
There was a pause, and then Nate’s voice came on the line, sounding more chipper than I’ve ever felt in my life. “Hey, sis! What are you doing this bright Saturday afternoon?”
I glanced outside of my car, wondering whether he’d actually seen me. I’d parked on the side of Main Street, and anyone who was downtown could see me.
“I’m…just hanging out. Nothing exciting. How about you?”
“What an interesting life you lead, Livy.” He chuckled softly, seeming unaware I was currently sitting on the side of the road, homeless. “Anyway, the wife and I wanted to invite you over for dinner tonight if you’re free. I have a surprise for you.”
“Is Mara pregnant?” It was the first thing that came to mind. My brother and I were friendly, but he didn’t invite me over for dinner often. As much as being an aunt one day excited me, I didn’t know whether I was ready for news like that right now. Yet another reminder of my brother’s superiority in the wake of my failure.
“If she was, I wouldn’t be telling you over the phone.” I could hear the eye roll in his tone. “And that’s not the surprise I had in mind.”
I curled a finger into my long, dark hair and pulled gently. My brother had avoided the infamy of our family name. He’d made something of himself long before our father ruined everything. He was heavily involved in the community of Cypress Falls and worked as a firefighter, quickly making his way up to Lieutenant despite his young age.
He was the exact opposite of me. I loved him, but it was hard not being able to live up to your younger brother. I was supposed to be the one setting precedent. He should be looking up to me, not the other way around.
“Livy?” My brother’s concerned voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Dinner sounds nice. Thanks, Nate.”
Maybe if I pretended to drink too much wine during the meal, I could crash on his couch tonight. The fact that I was even considering that made me want to literally disappear. I wasn’t sure how much more pathetic I could get.
“Okay, great. We’ll see you around six?”
“Yeah, see you then.”
I hung up the phone and stared at the black screen, wishing I could turn off my joke of a life just as easily.
Hopefully, I would have a warm place to sleep tonight. Being pathetic had to be better than sleeping on the streets. At least, that’s what I wanted to believe.