Eugene and Harry’s visit flew by. They were set to leave in a few days, so when a rare, almost warm winter afternoon arrived, Grace suggested they all enjoy a bonfire out by the dock.
“This’ll be nice,” she said to Harry as they guided Norman down to the shoreline. “Spend some happy time together before you have to go back.”
At that, Norman’s eyes snapped to Harry’s and the shaking in his hands intensified. The arm Grace held tightened to steel cable.
“Not you, Norman! Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said quickly. “No, you’re not going back. You’re never going back out there. Just Harry and Eugene.”
“And we’ll be just fine,” Harry assured them both. “We made each other a promise, and he and I don’t break those kinds of promises. We’ll both be back before you know it.” He leaned close to Norman’s ear. “And just to get your mind off that I’ll let you in on a little secret, since you don’t seem to be in the mood to go spilling the beans about it. Promise to keep it to yourself?”
The corner of Norman’s mouth twitched.
“All right, then. Here it is. Before I leave here, I’m gonna ask Linda to marry me.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “It’s about time, right?”
“What?” Grace squealed. This was news.
Harry scrunched up his nose, but his eyes were laughing. “Oops! Did you hear that? Darn. You weren’t supposed to know, Miss Gracie. Now you just keep your pretty mouth shut about that.”
“Over here, boys,” Audrey called, waving. Eugene had set up a few chairs, and one seat was draped in a blanket. “Bring Norman over here. We’ll keep him warm. That all right with you, Norman? And Harry, you sit over there by your father.”
Harry whispered to Grace, “I am almost thirty years old. How does she always manage to make me feel like I’m five again?”
“All my boys,” Audrey said as they sat, almost to herself.
Grace couldn’t stop smiling. Sure, things were different, but they were together, and that’s what mattered. Norman, she was certain, would wake up out of this awful state soon, and the best part was that he wouldn’t have to go back to war after this. He was one brother she could keep an eye on for now. And when the war was finally over, Harry and Linda would get married. Nothing like love in the air to make people happy again.
And that made her think of Rudi. He was up at the barn, and she knew he could see the family gathering around the bonfire. He’d stayed away since her brothers had come home, not wanting to cause trouble, but every so often she found herself thinking of him, remembering the kiss she’d placed on his cheek the night Norman returned. She had meant it to be a small thing: a sign of gratitude, nothing more, but the memory wouldn’t fade. Sometimes she almost wished she’d never done it, because that kiss had intensified everything about the way she was feeling, and she wasn’t really sure what to do about it. Right then, though, she felt like Rudi should be there by the bonfire, among the family.
“Maman,” she said, pulling her from Norman, “can I ask you a question?”
Audrey patted Norman’s hand. “I’ll be right back, dear. Grace and I will bring cocoa and tea.”
Back in the house, Grace brought a pot of milk to a boil while her mother got cocoa from the cupboard.
“I want to introduce Rudi to the boys,” Grace said quietly.
“Today?”
She kept her eyes on the pot. “They’ll be going back soon.”
“True. And I suppose they will probably need to know about him—if he stays, that is,” Audrey reasoned.
Grace stirred the milk, taking care not to scald it while she worked up the nerve to say what she was thinking.
“Maman, I need to tell you something, and I’m not sure how to say it.”
Her mother said nothing, merely added a steaming teapot to a tray.
“I feel like . . . It’s . . . There’s something about Rudi that I . . .” How did one put feelings like this into words? It came to her how difficult that must be for Rudi, with his rudimentary understanding of the language. “I wish I could explain it. When I talk with him I feel more . . . oh, I don’t know.”
“More what?”
“Alive.”
The word came to her unexpectedly, and in that moment she knew she was right about it. She’d never met anyone like Rudi. He intrigued her, he challenged her, and she appeared to affect him the same way. She wanted to be with him, to understand him, to laugh with him. To hold his hand and kiss his mouth.
She was relieved to see not one shred of judgment in her mother’s face. “We can never choose who we’re going to love,” Audrey said. Her voice was rich with a kind of nostalgia Grace could only guess at.
“I know you didn’t.” Audrey took the cooking pot from the stove and started pouring cocoa into her special white pot, with its pretty pink rose pattern and gold trim. “But if you do, I want you to know that it’s all right with me, and with your father. We all know what Rudi came from, but his life is changing rapidly. We don’t know where his choices will lead him.” When the cocoa was poured, she turned to Grace. “If you are one of those choices, then he is changing his life for the better.”
That wasn’t the question she’d asked. How had her mother switched the words around so they changed everything? Had Grace ever mentioned love? Not even once. And yet here they were, practically discussing whether Rudi would be a good husband for her.
Except it did make Grace stop. And think of him again.
“You’re a brave girl,” her mother said. “Bring him out and introduce him if you want. Your brothers are good men. There may be some opposition at first—that’s only natural these days—but they will understand. They only want you to be happy, after all.”
“What about Norman?”
It was a question that had been bothering her ever since her brother had come home. His life had been ruined by the Nazis. How would he react to having one in their midst?
“Norman has a lot of battles ahead of him,” her mother said, more subdued, “but they aren’t because of Rudi.” She moved to the door. “Come on. Before the tea gets cold.”
Grace picked up the tray and followed her mother outside, intrigued. Ever since Norman had come home, Audrey seemed stronger, ready to go to battle for her son. In the past, her reluctance to discuss the war and other difficult issues had frustrated Grace so much she’d judged her, labelled her as weak. Now she saw that her mother’s avoidance had never been a weakness, just an attempt to block out the horrors she and her husband had both survived. She’d chosen to suffer in silence. Just like Norman.
“If Rudi makes you feel alive,” her mother said, “then bring him down.”