10

Jude leaned on the crutches and rang the doorbell. She hadn’t anticipated how unwieldy these things were, or how little she’d be able to do on them. At least she didn’t have to cook tonight.

Bev opened the door, looking just as dapper in civvies as he had earlier in his uniform. “Hello. Come on in. Are you alone?” he asked, looking past her.

“Yeah, Dad had to go home, reassure Mum I’m fine and stop her from catching a train here to look after me. They’re coming for the weekend instead. How did it go at the base?”

Bev shut the door and helped her out of her coat, his light touch on her arms and shoulders bringing her out in goose bumps. “Well, I was expecting to get chewed out by the CMO and my CO for running into a blazing building and getting hurt.”

“Why?” she asked, her stomach dropping. Was he in trouble because of her?

“Endangering my operational status. But actually, I’m not in any kind of hot water at all. I have to go back next week and pass a PT test to make sure my hands are up to scratch. Assuming I pass that, then I’m fine to go back to my unit on the twenty-seventh.”

“I’m sorry.”

His arms wound around her, pulling her close against his chest. He smelled of wood spice and something she couldn’t quite put a finger on. “Don’t be.” His chest rumbled as he spoke. “It isn’t your fault.”

“But it is.” Jude closed her eyes tightly. “I got you mixed up in my mess. You could have been killed right along with me.”

His lips brushed her forehead before he raised her face to look at his. “I said it isn’t your fault and I meant it. No one asked me to run into that building. In fact they told me not to and to wait for the fire brigade. Hopefully, the CCTV cameras will give DI Jenson a look at this bloke, and she can catch him and throw away the key.”

“I hope so.”

A smile lit his eyes. “That’s not a faint smile on your face is it?”

“No…” she said trying hard not to smile.

“Just checking.” His fingers caressed her cheek. “I meant what I said earlier in the hospital.”

Her heart leapt. “Y—you did?”

He nodded, his gaze resting on the tee shirt she still wore. “And I love the shirt. Is that the one I grabbed at random?”

Jude nodded. “Yeah.”

His face was inches from hers, his breath warm on her cheek. “If I’m going too fast here, just tread on my toe or something.”

“You’re not,” she whispered. “I just can’t believe you kissed me in front of Dad.”

He chuckled. “Always make the first kiss memorable is what my dad always told me.” He leaned closer. “And the second even more so.”

When he broke off, Jude was giddy with the emotions soaring through her. Being with him felt so right, but at the same time scary, and she wasn’t sure she was worthy of the amount of love he showered her with. She stared into his eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers.

“How did I do?” he whispered. “Better than last time?”

“Yes…amazing…” she managed.

Bev took her arm as she hobbled to the kitchen on the crutches. “I hope you’re hungry, because Gran always makes loads. She made toad in the hole, with cheesy veggies and pineapple upside down cake.”

“Interesting combination.”

He laughed. “Not on the same plate.”

“That’s a relief.” She heaved a mock sigh. “Although we could start a new trend.”

“I’ll make it an order as soon as I get back to camp,” he managed in between laughing. “And then sit back and watch the lads eat it.”

Mrs. Bowen glanced up from putting plates on the table as they came into the kitchen. “You two sound happy. How are you, dear?”

“I’m good, could be worse.” Jude smiled. A vase of forget-me-nots graced the middle of the table. “Do you have any of those left in your garden now?”

“Not many, but they grow quickly and spread like wildfire. Bev’s always been a bit partial to them.”

“Me too. They’re my favorite flower.” She sat as Bev pulled out a chair for her. “Thank you.” She set the crutches beside her.

He leaned over her shoulder. “Jude, tea, coffee, juice, water…ummm…”

She smiled. “Spoilt for choice. Surprise me.”

Bev roared with laughter. “That is a dangerous thing to say, woman.”

“In light of the previous conversation, yes. Just don’t put them all in the same glass.”

“OK. Gran?”

“Tea.”

“Tea all around then.” Bev made the drinks quickly and carried them over. He said grace and they began eating.

Jude glanced over at him. “How dangerous is it out there?”

He paused, the fork at his lips. “Where I’m deployed?” He chewed as she nodded, taking the time to phrase his thoughts. “I can’t say much. But, it’s a war zone. I’m not sent there to sit behind a desk and push papers. I’m in one of the biggest bases most of the time and we have several armored troop carriers.”

“What about foot patrols?”

“Sometimes.” He took another spoonful of the veggies. “Has DI Jenson gotten back to you yet?”

Jude noticed the abrupt change of topic and went with it, figuring she was getting into the realm of classified stuff. “Yeah. Arson. I’m afraid they’ll think I did it.”

“Why?” Mrs. Bowen asked. “You’d hardly start a fire while you were still in the building, would you?”

“I’m making a loss and have been for a while.” Jude sighed. “I was considering selling up. Once they check the books and see that, they’ll think I set the fire for the insurance money.”

Bev frowned and put his knife and fork down. “Sell up?” he repeated. “As in quit, move away, and not be a baker anymore?”

Jude nodded slowly. “Yeah, just cut my losses and do something different. Of course, now I don’t have to worry about that, as I no longer have a bakery to sell.”

“They won’t blame you.” Bev picked up his fork as he spoke firmly. “You’ve already reported the stalker and break in.”

“And we both know that’s perfect cover for me burning down the shop,” she countered. She took three swift mouthfuls. “Just because I’m friends with the DI handling the investigation, doesn’t mean she’s on my side.”

“OK, enough already.” Bev put a hand on hers. “We both know it wasn’t you. So let the police do their jobs.” He looked at his grandmother. “Maybe she’d better stay here until they catch this bloke. I mean, he knows where she lives, and it’d be safer for her here than over the road on her own.”

Mrs. Bowen nodded. “Aside from the fact it’d be better than you moving in there, which was your first suggestion earlier.”

Bev rolled his eyes. “I thought we weren’t mentioning that.”

“Thank you, but no.” Jude wanted to cut the discussion short before it got any more bizarre. “Dad said the same thing, but I’d rather be in my own home as long as I can be.”

Bev sighed. “I thought we’d discussed this. Gran, Jude is convinced you’re going to sell the house and raise the rent or both.”

“Nothing of the kind, dear,” Mrs. Bowen told her. “The old place needs doing up a little, that’s all.”

Jude looked at her hands. “Anyway, with no job I can’t afford the rent as it is. So I’ll give you my four week notice now.”

“Jude…” Bev began.

She cut him off. “Bev, I have to.”

Mrs. Bowen shook her head. “There is no need, dear. You’ve had a shock. Just wait a couple of weeks and see how you feel then.”

“Fine, but it won’t make a difference. Without a job, I can’t afford to live anywhere.”

Bev sighed. “OK, fine. You are one stubborn woman, you know that? Look, we weren’t going to say anything for a long time because I still have another five years to go in the army. Longer if I want. But the house you’re living in is mine. So how about you stop worrying about the rent, as I’m paying the mortgage anyway, and you just live there and take care of it.”

Jude scowled. “What?”

“That’s how I knew the house wouldn’t be sold. The rent was just so the place didn’t sit empty. Once you have a job of some kind or the insurance money comes through, you can pay rent if you really want to. Otherwise call it a payment holiday. And I’m not hearing another word on the subject.”

Jude glared at him. “Bev…”

He stuck his fingers in his ears. “I can’t hear you…I can’t hear you…”

She shook her head. “OK, but I’m not accepting charity.”

“Good,” Bev said, winking at her. “Because I’m not offering Charity any room in my house.”

She tried not to giggle and failed. “You’re silly.”

“That’s Lt. Col. Silly to you, Miss Travis.” He refilled his plate and offered her the bowl. “My parents are back, by the way. The rest of the cruise got cancelled after the ship ran aground.”

“Were they hurt?”

He shook his head. “No, thank the Lord, no one was. But the captain will be in a shed load of trouble now. I’m going up to see them for a couple of days. That’s why I wanted you to move into Gran’s.”

“I’ll be fine,” she told him. “Besides, I expect my parents will be up. Especially once Mum learns I’m on crutches. She’ll be coming to do all my housework and cooking.”

Bev smirked. “Isn’t that what parents are for? Seriously, it’ll be good to see mine before I go back. Especially when I wasn’t planning on being able to.”

Mrs. Bowen brought the pudding over and the conversation got sillier and sillier until Jude ended up crying with laughter. Her sides ached from stiches and as the doorbell rang, she wiped her sleeve over her eyes. “Remind me not to serve you pineapple ever again.”

Mrs. Bowen came back into the room. “Bev, there are a couple of officers in uniform here to see you. I put them in the front room.”

“More police?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Army.”

Color drained from Bev’s face as he stood. “Excuse me.”

~*~

The two men left. Bev shut the door and leaned against it. His stomach heaved and he clamped a hand over his mouth, making the bathroom just in time. Tears burned his eyes. God… he began, not knowing what to say or how to say it. Why? Haven’t we lost enough men this tour already? Without having to lose more? Comfort the widows and fatherless. Strengthen my men because I cannot.

He splashed water on his face and headed back into the kitchen.

“You look dreadful,” Gran said. “Are you all right? What happened?”

“I can’t tell you.” He shook his head. “I’m calling it a night, if you don’t mind.”

Jude reached for her crutches. “I should be getting back. Thank you for a lovely meal, Mrs. Bowen.”

“You’re welcome, dear. And if you need anything, give me a shout. Bev, walk Jude home.”

“Yes, Gran.” His heart breaking as he headed to the door, he saw Jude safely to her door without saying anything.

At the door, she turned and looked at him as she fumbled for her keys. “Bev, talk to me. I know you can’t give me details, but please, don’t bottle it all up.”

“IED,” he whispered.

The crutches fell to the ground as her arms wrapped around him. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He held her tightly, shaking as a myriad emotions ripped his very core to shreds.

“How many?”

“F-f-five…”

“You can cry,” she whispered. Her breath warm on his neck. “It’s just us. You don’t have to be the strong commander right now. Just be you.”

Bev swallowed hard. “But if I do…”

“You’ll be better for it. Trust me.”

“Inside,” he whispered. He was perilously close to the edge and doing it out here wasn’t an option.

Jude opened the door and he swung her into his arms, carrying her inside. He kicked the door closed, intending to go back for her crutches later. He carried her into the lounge and sat.

The dam within him broke. Fear, anger and every other emotion known to man bottled up inside, ripped from him in a rampant tide. He wasn’t sure how long he gave in, but finally he became aware that Jude was sat on his lap, holding him and praying.

“Thank you,” he whispered when she stopped speaking.

Her hand cupped his face. “Don’t ever be anyone other than yourself with me,” she said, her gaze holding his.

Aware of the effect she was having on him, he slid her off his lap and onto the couch next to him. “They need me back out there. It was my unit, my men. They need me.”

“When?”

“After the repatriation. As their CO, I can be here to receive them. Then the next day I report in and fly back.” He searched her eyes. Fear flickered in them. The same fear that gnawed at his stomach. “I’ll be OK.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

“No,” he admitted. “I can’t. But I can guarantee one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“This.” He pulled her gently towards him and kissed her. “I love you. I have never been more sure about anything.”

“I love you, too. Promise me you’ll be careful.”

“I promise,” he whispered, pulling her close.

“That’s all I ask,” she whispered, before his lips closed on hers and he kissed her.

~*~

The next week flew by in a blur of dates and work starting on the house.

Jude was convinced she was still being followed, but could find nothing substantial to put her finger on. She still hadn’t heard from the insurance company, although the fire had officially been ruled as arson. The one decision she had made was to sell what was left of the bakery. It was all in the hands of her solicitor. What she would do instead, she had no idea.

Dad was renovating the kitchen and Elliott was doing the bathroom and central heating system. They’d both agreed to decorate the rest of the house, and she was hoping it’d be finished before Bev left so he could see it.

She still couldn’t believe it was his house, and he’d been prepared to let her chose the color scheme.

The day of the repatriation arrived and she offered to go with him. He refused. Instead she’d watched him drive away in his dress uniform and a stoic look on his face. His stiff upper lip, poker face, and taut shoulders the only sign of the emotion within him, almost broke her heart. She watched the repatriation on the TV and waited for Bev to come home.

They’d planned to have dinner together at her place, one last ‘hoorah’ before he left. Or just sitting quietly, letting him assimilate what he’d done today. She’d leave that entirely up to him and what he felt like doing.

Car doors slammed outside, just as the timer went off to say dinner was cooked. Perfect timing. She got to the door as fast as she could and flung it open.

Bev unfolded his tall frame, still in uniform, from the car. He looked up at his Gran’s house. A woman flew down the path to greet him. He laughed and swung her into her arms, kissing her cheek. His joy at seeing her was evident.

Stunned, her stomach pitting, Jude backed into the house and shut the door before he saw her. She trusted him, she really did, but seeing him in the arms of another woman hit her hard. Harder than she expected. She wanted that to be her. Always. But she could lose him to his job. The next repatriation could be his. And that would be more than she could bear. This had to end and end now.

She scrapped the food into the bin and rang her parent’s house. Her mother had wanted her to stay while the house was being worked on, and it would make it easier for Dad and Elliott if she weren’t constantly under foot. And it would be easier on the both of them if she didn’t say goodbye.

~*~

Bev shoved his bags into the car. There was no sign of Jude. She hadn’t been in last night either, and he was sure they’d had dinner plans. He’d had the entire evening organized down to the finest detail. The box in his pocket was heavy. He’d seen the ring in a store on the base, and it was perfect. All he had to do, all he needed to do, before he left, was to propose.

He crossed the road and rang the bell. No one came. He glanced up at the windows. The house seemed closed up and empty. Disconsolate, he turned and went back over to Gran’s. He pushed the kitchen door open.

“This was on the mat for you when I got up.” Gran held out an envelope.

Bev took it and ripped it open. It was covered in Jude’s neat writing. Bev, something came up. Gone to my parents for a day or two—easier on the workmen if I’m not in the house. Safe trip. Jude.

He turned it over. Was that it?

“Bev?”

He screwed the paper up and shoved it into the bin. “She isn’t coming. Can we go?”

“Did she say why?”

“No. Just that she’d gone away.” He shook his head and pulled the ring box from his pocket. “Keep this safe. I won’t need it now.”

“What is it?”

“Just shove it in a drawer and forget about it. I’ll see you by the car.” He headed out into the garden and picked a handful of forget-me-nots. He took them over to Jude’s and laid them on the doorstep. He closed his eyes, praying for her. He didn’t know what he’d done to drive her away, but whatever it was he hoped he would have the chance to apologize.

His heart breaking, he headed over to the car and got in, to begin the long trip back to his unit. Or rather, what was left of it.