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“I’m pregnant, Chase. And the baby isn’t yours.”
I knew I should try to calm myself, if only for the baby’s sake, but there was no slowing the frantic beat of my heart. It was out there. I couldn’t take it back.
What had I done?
I looked up as his hand went to the back of his head, running slowly through his dark hair. His green eyes, normally so expressive, were unreadable. I cleared my throat as he said nothing, just continued to rub the back of his head, over and over. “Did you hear me? I said I was pregnant.”
What must he be thinking? That I’d cheated on him? That I’d betrayed his trust, and our relationship? All true – though none intentional. I’d been pregnant before I even met Chase, I just hadn’t known it. And I’d thought I was single when we slept together, but I hadn't known the truth there, either. Good luck telling that to Chase though – it didn’t half sound like I’d been trying to pull some ‘you're the father, now pay up’ scam.
It was a long time before he spoke. His words, when he did speak, were clipped. “I see why you didn’t want to tell me.”
Was he angry? Betrayed? All of the above? My chin began to quiver. “I wasn’t sure how to break the news. I’m... I’m sorry, I just found out myself.” I clenched my jaws together and swallowed, hard. I wouldn’t cry. Mustn’t cry. My tears were not a weapon. I didn’t deserve his pity.
“It’s obviously not my baby.” The tone was matter of fact. Cold. Exactly what I deserved. “Whose is it?” And now suddenly he was in motion. “I should have known better. Out for the money. I really thought you were different!”
“Don’t say that!” And now I was glad for the tears blurring my vision. I didn’t want to see his face—I was afraid of the hatred I’d see on it.
His outline paused. His tone became harsh. “Were you sleeping with someone else this entire time? Cheating on me?”
I wiped at my eyes. “I... it’s complicated. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You were the first person I called when I found out.”
“Because you saw the dollar signs.”
“No!” I stared at him, horrified. “To break things off! To try and do the right thing by you!”
“And then you saw the commercial.”
I nodded, shoulders slumping. Then I’d seen the commercial. And I’d knocked on his door, and instead of telling him the truth, I’d chosen one last reminder of the happiness I was about to give up. “I’m sorry. I should have told you right away.”
He turned his back to me, sighing as he ran a hand through his hair once more. “What am I to do Rachel? You lied to me. Are you even single right now?”
“Yes.” I hesitated as my phone began to vibrate—like God calling, to remind me of the truth. “I mean, no. I mean, it’s complicated. I thought I was single, but I wasn’t. But now I am single...” I looked down at my phone. It was Dan. “I think.”
He spun to face me. “You think.”
I couldn’t meet his gaze, looking instead at the phone still vibrating in my hand.
“Is that the father?” he asked.
I gave the tiniest of nods.
“Maybe you should answer that then,” he said, stalking from the room. His voice could have frozen water. “I’ll give you two some privacy—you’ve obviously got some things to work out.”
* * *
Dan. Of all people! What did he want now? It had been days since he’d walked out on me.
I cast one last look down the hall, where Chase had disappeared. “Hello?” I murmured, hurrying out the front door.
“Hey, stranger!”
I paused, confused, on the front steps. His tone didn’t sound like we’d broken up. In fact, it sounded... happy to hear me? “Hi. What’s up?”
I stood on the front stoop, peering into Chase’s house through the etched glass of the front doors. Trying to catch a glimpse of him, to see his face. I wanted to know whether he hated me. He was nowhere to be seen.
“I’ve missed you so much. I was such a jerk. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Forgive you?” I repeated absently, still looking for Chase. Poor, sweet Chase. He’d only ever wanted to make me happy. Look what I’d done to him.
Then I realized what Dan had just said. “Wait. Did you just apologize?”
“Yeah, of course. I had too much to drink, and there was the job thing, and the baby, too. I needed some time to get my mind in order. But I’m good now. I’m excited for us.”
“For us,” I said flatly. “You’re happy to have a baby now?”
“I want us to be together. I want to be a father. I’m ready for this.”
This was my punishment—for coming back to see Chase. “Are you sure? Dan, I can’t handle any games right now. This is too big, too important.”
“Believe me, I get it. And I don’t blame you, since I was such a jerk. Let me make it up to you, okay?”
I didn’t want to forgive Dan. He’d walked out on me. He’d wanted an abortion! But if I hoped that one day, Chase might see it in his heart to forgive me...
I sighed. Heavily. “How do we do this?”
“Let me take you to dinner tomorrow night. Your favorite, romantic spot. We can talk things over then. What do you say?”
What could I say? He was the silver medal, and all I wanted was gold. “All right. We’ll talk it out then.” He hung up.
I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or both. What kind of cruel joke was this? Now he wanted to be with me—one day he didn’t, the next he did. Could I trust him to be reliable?
I cast one more look behind me, into the house. Nothing. Not a sound, or a sign of movement. I began to walk down the stairs, to hail a cab home. What other choice did I have?