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I held my breath as I looked up into Chase’s eyes. Did I have a chance? Could he still find it in his heart to love me, though I had lied to him and was with child? My entire life hung on his reply.
I searched his face, looking for some sign of what he was thinking. His brow was slightly furrowed. What did that mean? How would I know if he never spoke? He just kept staring at me with those unnerving green eyes!
Finally, I couldn’t take the suspense any longer. “Please, curse me out if you want to, only say something before I go crazy.”
He took a deep breath and said, “Okay.”
My eyes opened wide. “Okay? Okay what?”
He smiled, and my dark world broke open and the sun poured in. “Okay. I accept your apology.”
“Just like that?” I almost didn’t want to believe it. It seemed too good to be true.
And yet he nodded, still smiling as lovingly as ever. “Yes. Just like that.”
“I don’t understand. How can it be so easy?”
“Come with me.” He took my hand, pulling me into the house, up the stairs.
I was too happy to protest. He led me to the second level, to a room at the end of the hall. There were paint tins in the corridor, and a variety of tools. And then Chase opened the door, and we stepped into the most beautiful room I had ever seen.
“What do you think?” Chase asked. “Will the baby like this?”
I couldn’t speak, couldn’t find the words—and even if I could, the growing lump in my throat would have rendered me mute. The room was huge, and in my head I instantly knew it would grow along with the baby, changing as he or she got older.
For now, the walls were painted a soft, dreamy blue. A huge mural was being sketched on one wall, half finished; a garden with trees and flowers and musical notes rising up into the air. It extended to the ceiling, which had been painted with thick billowy clouds like the sky. Twinkling lights had been hung from one end to the other—they would be magical when the main lights were turned out, twinkling like the stars.
“Chase,” I breathed. “I don’t know what to say.”
“So it’s all right? You think it works?”
“Works?” I laughed, throwing my arms around him, not caring about the paint on his coveralls. “How did you do all this?” Nothing mattered more than him, and me, and the absolute joy in my heart when I thought of how lucky any child would be, to call this their bedroom.
“I took the liberty of buying a crib, and rocking chair, and all the other furniture the woman at the store thought I’d need. I think she might have taken advantage of me, but I don’t care.” He laughed, holding me tight. “I had workers come in today to do most of the big stuff, but I wanted to paint the mural myself. I was thinking once the child gets a little older, we could build a castle in the far corner there, or a tree house type thing, or a pirate ship. Whatever they’re into.” He sounded so excited. That was the best thing of all.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered. I’d gone from despair to breathless hope and then wonder in minutes. My entire situation seemed surreal. “You don’t like kids though. You said they weren’t a part of the plan.”
He shook his head, growing somber. “I said they weren’t an option for me. There’s a difference.”
I didn’t understand, until I saw the look in his eyes. Oh.
He nodded. “I’ve always wanted children, but until yesterday, I’d given up hope. For all my money, for all the hundreds of thousands of dollars I’ve spent on it, there’s nothing the doctors can do.”
“So you like kids?” I asked timidly.
He laughed. “I love kids! I’ve even considered adopting—come close to it several times. But, with my schedule and everything, you know. They’d never have a chance to put down roots.”
“And you’re not mad at me? For... for lying to you?”
He shook his head. “I should be apologizing to you.” He stepped toward me, taking my hands. “Rachel, I reacted badly when I saw you last, and I’m sorry. The baby was a fact before we met. You weren’t trying to get money from me, I know that now. I knew it as soon as you walked away. Those things I said—I just... feel so much for you, that the thought of someone else...” his fists clenched, and even now I saw a look of jealousy cloud his eyes.
I squeezed his hands. “He’s a jerk Chase. I want nothing to do with him.”
“You mean that? Because I want what’s best for you. If... if...” I heard his voice break, like he had to force the words out. “If you did want to go back to him, for the baby, I’d understand. He’s the father.”
I shook my head, then looked up at him with a smile. “You’re doing a better job already.”
He pulled me into a hug, crushing me against him. “I’m so glad to hear that.” Then he pulled away, excitement in his eyes. “So you like the room? I started very early this morning, as you can see.”
“So much has been done already,” I marveled, looking around.
A crib sat in one corner, and I walked over to it, running my hands along its smooth timber. I could see what looked like a whole series of to-be-assembled bookshelves in another—and then against the far wall a changing table, and a rocking horse. There were piles of toys under plastic sheeting as well, waiting to be put in place once the painting was finished. Yes, the salespeople had seen him coming. I smiled to myself, then turned to him. “Where did all of this come from? I don’t mean the things. I mean, what made you want to do this?”
“I wanted you to be happy—I’m sorry it’s not finished. I wanted to wait until it was all done and perfect before I reached out to you. I wanted to show you how good it could be, here, with me—the three of us.” He shrugged. “I guess I figured that when my commercial didn’t work, this would be my last shot.”
Just when I thought I couldn’t love him more, he did something like this. What had I done in my life to deserve someone like him? Tears began to flow down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them.
He touched them with his thumbs, wiping them away. “You deserve to be loved, and I want to be the one who does it. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make sure you feel loved, every minute of the day, for as long as you’ll let me. If you’ll let me, that is.”
I beamed, basking in the look in his eyes. “Will I let you? Are you serious? You’re the person I want more than anyone in the entire world.” But I hesitated for a moment—I wasn’t used to being loved. It was so strange to me that this wonderful man would want me. I was used to there being strings attached. Like Dan and his pipe dreams about blackmailing Chase into secret child support payments.
I looked carefully at Chase, wanting to gauge his reaction. “Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, a package deal? Me and the baby?”
Instead of answering, he pulled me to him for a kiss. That kiss told me everything I needed to know.