My phone rings the moment I step into my condo. I throw my gym bag on the ground and dig through it, trying to catch it before it gets to the black hole that is my voice mail. When I finally find it, I glance at the screen and frown. This is my private number, rather than the business phone, and I don’t recognize the number. Still, for obvious reasons, it’s not something that you can look up so the person on the other line had to get it from a trusted source.
Still, I’m a little wary when I push the button letting the call come through. “Hello?”
“Ummm…hey. Is this Fallon?” A deep, masculine voice asks from the other end and I almost give myself away. I recognize the voice.
“Koi? Is that you?”
A relieved sigh. “It is you. That’s fantastic. I was afraid you might have changed your number. Yeah, it’s me. How have you been?”
I run my free hand through my hair. Koi is a guy I met during a dark time in my life. I had been in a nice rehab center, going crazy because I was cut off from the world. It didn’t matter that I was in rehab for something mild. Something that didn’t really warrant locking me up. Still, being a celebrity comes with a price.
I am held in a much different regard than the general public. Because of that, I must always be on my best behavior when the cameras are flashing. This is something I didn’t know at first. I thought I could just go on being a normal person. Being Fallon Opal.
I’m a quick learner, though.
The mask that I wore had slipped momentarily and I had landed in hot water because of it. Now I keep who I really am hidden carefully away. The public would not be able to handle the real me and now I’m starting to think that no one will.
“Fallon?”
Koi’s voice snaps me out of my melancholy thoughts. I shake my head, trying to force myself to focus. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“I was just saying how much I missed you. I tried to find you when I first got released but for a while you had pretty much vanished.
I wince, remembering that I had hidden myself off the grid. For a while I lived in the underworld of the rich a famous, working as a Sugar Baby while I found myself. It was fun but ultimately I realized that where I really wanted to be was here—in the limelight where I belonged.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I took some time off. Needed to clear my head, you know?”
Koi laughs and it is a rusty, harsh sound. It reminds me of how lost he seemed when I first met him. “Don’t we all? I was wondering. How are you doing? Your name is moving through some interesting circles these days.”
It’s my turn to laugh and I wonder if it sounds just as hollow. “Yeah, well. It’s always a challenge to elevate one’s living circumstances.”
“Well, I knew that if anyone could do it, it would be you. You were always special like that, Fallon.”
A blush spreads across my cheeks. It was Koi who had showed me the light about my sexuality. That I could have all of the kinky things I truly craved without having to take it to a dark place. I could be happy without making people around me miserable.
“Thanks, Koi. You are pretty special yourself,” I say, completely meaning it. Koi had been a little messed up but in that place, we all were.
“Anyway…I was wondering if it would be okay for us to meet up. You know, catch up for old time’s sake.”
I open my mouth, completely prepared to say yes. Why wouldn’t I go out with Koi? We’d have a few drinks and a couple laughs before…
We had sex.
I jerk back from the phone as if it’s on fire. I didn’t realize what this call was until right this moment. “Are you calling me for sex?”
Koi laughs as if it’s no big thing. “Yeah. Isn’t that what we do? What you’re into?”
I swallow. Koi is right. A few months ago, I would have said yes without a second thought. Why not? I like him and he’s good in bed. I need to blow off some steam and he’s just the kind of person I could do it with. I know without a doubt that if I sleep with him, there would be no harm in it. He isn’t attached to me romantically and he has just as much to lose as me if the paparazzi caught wind.
But there is Harper.
Harper, who dominates my thoughts. Harper, who would never even consider going out with other girls without telling me who, for how long, and what they’d be doing while they socialized. If I even looked like I wanted him to say no, Harper would do so in a heartbeat.
I shook my head. No matter how easy or good it would be to sleep with Koi…I can’t do it.
“Look, I appreciate the call but…”
I trail off and Koi picks up my sentence for me. “Is it that guy the media has been pairing you with a lot lately?”
“You’ve seen him?”
“Yeah but I was hoping it was just the vultures making a mountain out of a molehill.”
“No, not this time.” I sound a little breathy and I bite my bottom lip to keep from sighing. “He’s the real deal.”
For a second Koi is quiet. Then I can hear the smile in his voice. “I’m really happy for you, Fallon. You deserve that.”
A weight lifts from my shoulders. As if I’ve been carrying something that I didn’t even realize. I gently lay it on the ground and suddenly feel ten times lighter. It’s the same way I felt months back when I went through my phone and deleted all of my no-good contacts. Like I had freed myself from something holding me back.
Like I had gotten rid of a bad habit that I had had for the last couple of years.
Koi and I speak for a few more minutes, but we both know the conversation is over. When we finally hang up, I know I won’t hear from him again. Oddly enough, that thought doesn’t make me sad. Instead, I feel…fulfilled.
As if I have completed a journey and Koi has been beside me throughout it. Once we reached our destination, our paths split but we were both better for the partnership.
I pocket my phone and head to the table where my laptop is waiting.
On the front screen is a website I had left open. I am planning a trip to Bora Bora, a present to myself for all of my hard work and success in the last couple of months. I’ll only be gone a week—the maximum amount of time I feel that my businesses can maintain profit without my special touch—but it is exactly what I need.
The only thing I’m not sure of is whether or not I want Harper to come.
A trip together would be a big step for any relationship. It wouldn’t just be a test of whether or not we could spend time together. We would basically be living together in all of that time. I don’t know why but the thought makes me nervous.
Up until now, everything that has happened between us has been perfect. What if we get to a point where we are sharing space and he turns out to be a completely different person? The possibility turns my stomach but I know I need to find out.
I need to know if we are as compatible as we both feel we are.
I click a few buttons on the page and then I hold my breath as I pull my phone out of my pocket. I dial Harper’s number and he picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, Fallon. How was the gym?”
“It was fine.” I say softly.
Harper knows me too well. He can tell instantly that something is wrong. I hear him moving from wherever he’s at. He closes a door to give us privacy and I find myself smiling. He didn’t even bother to ask if I needed to talk. Nor did he excuse himself from where he was. He just got up and left, immediately wanting to provide me with what I needed.
That’s just how he is.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I can’t help it. I tell him everything. I tell him about Koi and how I know him. I tell him how I felt during the call and the temptation that hounded me. Through it all, Harper listens without saying a word. I can hear his deep, even breathing as I spill my soul. I don’t know why I start crying but Harper listens through my blubbering, never once interrupting me as I say what I need to get out.
Once I wind down, his gentle voice fills my ears. “It’s okay, Fallon. I understand what you need and I want you to know that I want to give you that. I want to be everything that you need and I’m happy that you’re giving me the chance to do so.”
I hiccup. “But I…I thought about it.”
He laughs, but it’s not a rusty sound like it was with Koi. Instead, it is warm and soothing, a comforting sound. “Of course you did. You are a sexual, vivacious creature. You have needs and you have been keeping them under control for several months. I am impressed by your self-restraint.”
I wipe my eyes. “Really?”
“Really. You are a deeply respectable woman, my opal.”
The endearment makes me shiver with pleasure. He called me that as if he really meant it. As if I were a precious commodity.”
“I am sorry that you are in so much pain.” I quickly move to tell him I’m not but he continues as if he knows I want to make him feel better. “Please tell me you understand why you and I are not doing as this Koi person wished to do tonight.”
“I…I don’t really understand, no.”
Harper nods through the phone. “I see. I apologize; it is my fault for not explaining it. Fallon, you are…how can I say this? You are sacred to me. Your mind, your heart, and especially your body. I want to cherish you in all ways and I do not want to run the risk of weakening our emotional bond while it is still growing. I want to build up a true relationship before we throw in the chaos of the physical.”
What he says makes sense in more ways than I want to admit. He wants something more than just sex from me. I can’t say it’s something that I’m used to. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I have spent some time in my distant past confusing sex with love.
Harper wants to make sure we never do that.
“I know what you mean.”
Harper’s grin can be heard through the phone. I love how in-tune I am with him, how easy it is for me to track the movements of his body, even when I can’t see him. “I believe that you do. No one would understand better than you.”
I flush with pleasure, loving that he knows me so well. Now, more than ever, I know this man was meant for me—made for me. We will only grow stronger in our affections for each other.
“Harper…I was wondering if you had plans for next week.”
“Nothing that cannot be rearranged for you.”
I smile again, knowing that he has several meetings near the end of the week. I had planned to schedule the trip around them so that he could do everything he needed to get done but here he is, absolving me of even that. He is the most thoughtful man I have ever been with.
“Would you like to go on a trip with me? I’d take care of all of the planning and the scheduling. I just want us to have some time away.”
“I would love to, my opal.”
I blush again and we iron out some of the details I’m missing while I still have him on the phone. I am surprised by how much of the planning he wants to have a part in. He asks lots of questions about the things I want to do and where I want us to stay. He even asks me about the prep work I will have to put in before we can even get on the plane.
Afterwards, we go over a few details about the attractions I want to visit. He has some suggestions of his own and I realize what a valuable resource his experience is. By the time we hang up, I know exactly what we’ll be doing for the first couple of days on the trip.
I go back to my laptop moments after we’re done and sit down to order the rest of the tickets. Before I can even put my fingertips to the keyboard, a notification chimes in my inbox.
Harper has already gotten the plane tickets—first class—and has booked the room. I sit back in my chair, eyes wide. When had he found the time to do this? We had literally gotten off the phone less than two minutes ago.
I rub my hands over my face. This is the type of man I have wanted my entire life. The kind who would see my needs and simply meet them. No uncertainty, no questions, and no judgment. He just does what needs to be done when it needs to be done.
Some part of me wonders if I even deserve this. I am just a woman. The evil mainstream media has tried to break me down, has tried to make me into nothing but I have beaten them by creating a persona that no one could hope to breach. By pretending to be someone who couldn’t be broken.
To the outside world, I have to always remain infallible but this man manages to see through those shields. He looks past the things that I wrap around myself, and he takes care of me in ways that no one else can.
I look around my condo and shudder. This space of living was a present from one of my clients during my Sugar Baby days. It was bought by a man who had purchased a lot of my time and had “owned” me for a brief moment. But now when I look around, I see not the abode that I bought with my sex but the things that fill it.
Harper has had fresh flowers delivered to my home every day since we met. They fill the air with a sweet, delicate fragrance. He has bought me present after present and they have taken over this space with their quiet, thoughtful presence.
It isn’t the money he has spent that makes it mean something. It is the thought and time he has put into each item. He has bought me expensive vases and crystal that sit upon engraved shelving that he has custom ordered.
But he has also bought me a cheap, twenty-dollar painting that I saw in a bookstore and loved. I didn’t even expect him to remember the little thing because it hadn’t been on sale at the time but after we left he had gone back and spoken to the manager on my behalf.
He’d secure it, even though the beady-eyed manager hadn’t wanted to give it to him at all. When he refused, Harper had just gone to the general manager of the store and made sure I got what I wanted.
Because I wanted it.
Tears of joy swim in my vision when I look at the painting. It is one of the cheesiest things I own, mounted on the wall next to gallery pieces and sophisticated collections. But I love it just as much as I am beginning to love him…and that scares me.