Dad drives us home after we’re full on pancakes and laughter. When we get to Judith’s house, I walk her to her door. She turns and takes my fingers in hers and I lean forward and kiss her on the cheek.
“Friends?” she asks.
“Friends.” I nod. She turns to go inside and I stop her.
“Yeah?”
“I, well, I just wanted to say I get it. I understand why you broke up with me.”
She waits.
“I wasn’t there for you. I know I was pretty much all about my goals. But I did care about you.”
“I know that.” She smiles. “But thanks. I appreciate you saying that and not just making it about Brad.”
A light comes on at the neighbor’s house and a car backs out of the garage. Judith glances over, then looks toward her own front door, then at my dad waiting in the car. “Are you going to tell them we’re broken up?”
“Yeah. Tonight.”
She wraps her arms around herself. “They’re nice. Make sure they know we’re still friends.”
“I will.”
“Well.” She drops her arms. “See you around. Thanks for the pancakes.” She turns and walks in through her front door.
In the car, I buckle the seat belt. “Judith’s not my girlfriend anymore.”
Dad cocks his head.
“We haven’t been for a while. I didn’t tell you guys because I didn’t want you or Mom to hold anything against Judith. She likes the two of you. We’re still friends.”
He starts the engine. “Okay.” Then he adds, “Hope tonight wasn’t uncomfortable. Your mom thought she was doing a good thing. Seemed like the two of you enjoyed seeing each other.”
“It was great to see her. But c’mon, Dad, we both know Mom orchestrated this to make me want to give up the North Carolina thing.”
Dad chuckles and pulls onto the turnpike. “Not so subtle, huh?”
“Nope.” I fish my phone out of my backpack and check it. Still nothing from Kat, but finally a few texts from Elliot asking where I am. Huh. She must not have gotten my text. I check to make sure it had gone through. It has, but she hasn’t responded. I click over to her feed but there’s nothing new. Then I go to Elliot’s and that’s where I see it. A video of Kat and Lou onstage. I pop my earbuds in and unmute the volume. Lou’s singing to Kat about wanting to stay with her tonight and Kat is six shades of red and laughing uncomfortably on the stage, but they also look super into each other. The next post is later and Elliot’s videoed the group and Lou has her arm around Kat and Kat is looking at Lou with stars in her eyes. Like something happened between the awkward stage singing and this video.
I want to immediately jump to the obvious conclusion, but I’m well versed in the cluster of making assumptions based on social media photos so I text Kat.
Hope you had fun tonight. Hope you got my text. Ended up flying home unexpectedly. All’s okay. I get nothing in return, but then again it is past midnight.
I text Elliot.
Sorry I missed you guys.
Bubbles appear. Disappear. Then
Oh, you missed it all right.
I send back some question marks but Elliot doesn’t answer.
The next morning my mom is at the door early. “Wake up, sunshine. Time to go for a drive.”
I grab my phone before I get dressed but there’s still no word from Kat. My mind starts to spin but I stop myself. It’s time to focus. On getting my license. Getting a horse that can take me to the big ring. Getting back to Dilara’s barn. I leave my phone in my room as I head downstairs to meet my mom.
She greets me with a hug, but there’s stiffness, too, and I know I haven’t won her over to my side yet.
“Do you want breakfast?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m still stuffed from pancakes. I’ll just have an apple.”
I walk to the little desk cubby next to the fridge where we keep the fruit bowl and grab a gorgeous Fuji from the top. Laid out in a pile are a stack of photos from my mom’s showing days. I flip through the first few. She looks regal in her shadbelly coat, white breeches, and top hat. “Is this Sultan?” I know it is. He was my mom’s favorite horse.
Mom looks over my shoulder. “Yes. We got a decent score at that show. Above sixty percent. It was our first Grand Prix level test so I was thrilled.”
“After you got your silver?”
“After we got our silver.”
Mom had gone all the way through her Dressage Federation medals with Sultan. When she switched to international competition she rode Fonty, the mare I’d let Kat ride at MaMolly’s.
“You looked amazing.”
Mom put a hand on my shoulder. “I loved it. Like you do.”
I look at her. “So, you understand? You’ll let me stay? Let MaMolly buy Dantoar for us?”
Mom sighs. She sounds frustrated. And maybe a little sad. “You’re so young to be leaving home.”
“Mom. Please. I want this so bad. It’s all I want to do with my life. At least in the near future. Please, can’t you understand?”
I throw my arms around her in a hug. “Don’t be sad. I’m not choosing MaMolly over you. You’re my mom.” My voice thickens and I step back. “I’m still going to get a high school degree. And I will go to college, but maybe not right away. You of all people should understand. I love you, Mom. But I love riding so much. I want to make us proud.”
Mom’s eyes glisten. “I know you do. That’s what worries me. The competition can be fierce. It can crush your soul if you’re not careful.”
“I’ll be okay. I have a devoted support system. And if I fail, you’ll be there to pick up my pieces.”
Mom smiles at that. “Indeed, I will.” She wipes at her lower lid. “I believe before this can become official we need to get you in a car and out on these roads.” She grabs the keys off the hook behind me and hands them to me. “No time like the present.”
I swallow down air and search for the familiar feeling of fear only to realize it isn’t there.
In its place is resolve.
And excitement that is off the charts. I’m going to do it. I’m moving to North Carolina to finish out high school while I ride competitively. It’s more than I ever dreamed could happen.
I can’t wait to tell Kat.
About everything.