After they’d cleaned up from dinner, Hawk stoked the fire and then settled back down next to Landon. The man was undeniably adorable. He’d liked Landon ever since that first day that they’d met at the bar. Landon’s golden hair and clear blue eyes were such a contrast to Hawk’s own kinky black hair and chocolate brown eyes. He loved how soft Landon’s skin was. How red it flushed when he was embarrassed.
This camping trip had taught him a lot about Landon. Quite apart from Hawk’s personal reasons why this particular trip was so hard, none of today had been easy. In fact, there were parts that Hawk had intentionally made more difficult than they needed to be.
Like the climb to the top of the bluff. Landon didn’t notice the perfectly graded trail less than a hundred feet away from the scree pile they’d climbed. He didn’t notice that Hawk had steered them toward the worst possible choice at every fork in the river. He’d been testing Landon hard. And the results were astounding: Landon didn’t know anything about the outdoors, but he was more than willing to follow Hawk’s lead.
And he’d never complained once.
Not until he questioned why he’d even come. Hawk had been quick to reassure him that they could do something more his speed next weekend. Because Hawk definitely wanted next weekend. And the next. And possibly every weekend after that.
For the first time since the accident, Hawk let himself dream. He gave breath to the hope that he could find someone to be happy with. That he had found someone. He leaned into Landon’s side and moved his face so that his lips were close to Landon’s ear. He’d just opened his mouth to whisper when a screech came from overhead.
Hawk looked up into the setting sun and gasped. It couldn’t be. It was impossible. Surely. It had to be some other eagle. It couldn’t be Neil. Some other… But, no. The eagle was diving straight toward him, talons outstretched. Wild eagles didn’t do that to humans.
With a shout, Hawk jumped up and yanked Landon with him. “Get in the tent, now!”
Landon looked thoroughly confused, but he stumbled toward the little two man affair that Hawk had picked specifically with the intention of getting lucky this weekend. But one glance at the sky and the screeching eagle told him that wasn’t going to happen.
He snatched a burning branch from the fire and squared off his shoulders, settling his feet into a solid stance. “I thought you were dead!” he yelled at the eagle.
He might as well not have said anything at all since the eagle flew at him, aiming deadly talons at Hawk’s face. He spun with the movement so that he only got a scratch along his scalp.
“I looked for you for days, weeks,” he tried again. He really didn’t want to fight Neil.
This time, the eagle reacted. Neil shifted mid-flight and landed with a little whomp of impact. He spun on bare feet and snarled at Hawk. He’d lost so much weight over the last few years. And the clothes he’d had with him then were long gone. Hawk could see every rib. Every knobby joint. Oh, poor Neil. “You left me for dead!”
“No, I didn’t,” Hawk pleaded. “I dove after you as soon as you fell. I kept expecting you to shift, but you didn’t. My hawk wasn’t fast enough, and I lost you under the tree canopy. I landed and searched and searched. I spent days in both forms searching the entire area. Everywhere we’d been. I called in the rangers and they helped me search for you. I couldn’t find you at all. In either form.”
“You. Left. Me. For. Dead!” Neil’s voice was a rusty shriek. Like he’d been an eagle and not spoken for far too long. It pierced Hawk’s heart and ripped open the scab that had just begun to heal.
“I looked. I really did. I missed you so much, Neil. I truly thought you had managed to escape since I couldn’t find you anywhere. I finally went back home, but no one had seen you, heard from you. None of us heard anything even though we were searching hospitals and animal rescues and everything we could think of. We couldn’t find you anywhere.”
“I was right here the whole time,” Neil squawked. “But you never came back before today!”
“I was mourning you!” Hawk yelled right back. “I’ve been mourning you for five long years! Why didn’t you come home? If you were alive and well, why didn’t you come back?”
“Why should I? You left me!” Then Neil rushed him.
Hawk ducked when Neil clumsily swung a fist. He’d obviously not been doing that much in the last five years. Hawk threw the burning branch aside to tackle Neil around the middle and drove him to the ground. He straddled his former boyfriend and pinned his wildly flailing arms to the ground.
“I lost my job because I spent over a month hiking out here every day trying to find you. I lost friends who blamed your disappearance on me. I lost our family because they couldn't look at me without seeing you. I lost nearly everything because you didn’t come home.”
Despite Hawk pinning him, Neil shifted into his eagle form and beat his wings against Hawk’s head. He screeched and shrieked in Hawk’s face. Hawk fell back in shock and shook his head to lessen the ringing in his ears.
Before Hawk could compose himself, Neil was on him again, digging into his shoulder with a talon, dragging Hawk to the edge of the bluff. Hawk’s shoulder was on fire, and he cried out as he tried to stop his forward movement. He scrambled for something to hold onto. He dug his boots into the grooves in the rock. But it wasn’t enough. Neil’s hatred made him stronger than Hawk had expected.
Suddenly he was falling. The deja vu of the moment was surreal. This was just like before, except that he was the one plunging to his death instead of standing in shocked horror while his boyfriend fell.