What parent doesn’t long to hear those words? Apparently, not many. Why else would there be so many wounded sons and daughters? Maybe you’re an adult child who has longed your whole life to have Mom or Dad say, “I love you.” You can keep your kids from experiencing that devastation by making certain your verbal expressions of affection include that three-word nugget of gold.
You might have grown up in a nondemonstrative family where love was not spoken, only acted on. In that kind of family, parents clean up after their kids, fill their cars with gas, return the library books, make the meals—the list goes on. They say they’re doing this only because they care. Tangible deeds may underline love, but for some kids, such actions ring hollow without words to match.
Your relationship with your children colors their view of God. Parents stand in for the heavenly Father. Talk about filling huge shoes! Your using golden words expands your child’s perspective of God’s love for him or her. Are you standoffish or cold? Do you withhold needed nurturance? Your child will come to see God in that same light.
If your spouse never actually said, “I love you,” you probably would have avoided saying, “I do.” That simple proclamation keeps you on track when you wonder about your worth. Your children have that same need. Give them a home where love isn’t silently acted out, but a place where they know for sure that they are loved in word as well as deed.
One more very tangible benefit: what you teach your children, they will almost certainly teach theirs. Imagine your grandchild one day nuzzling his or her head into your neck and whispering, “I love you” in your ear. It doesn’t get better than that.