Good manners open doors. Literally. Your children will stand out like bright lights if they practice common courtesies. Listening without interrupting, letting another go first, and addressing elders with respect: these small sacrifices often mean the difference between getting a job and coming in second, between making a new friend or being ignored.

There are many lists of do’s and don’ts when it comes to etiquette. People have created careers out of telling the rest of society what passes for polite. Make God’s Golden Rule your measuring stick: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Your children understand that inherently. They feel terrible when left out or insulted. When they are honored and included, the opposite is true. Their glowing smiles say it all.

Parents can be the biggest stumbling block to politeness. Yes, you. Letting your child get by with shoddy manners gives the green light for more of the same. There’s nothing cute about Junior ignoring an elder when she talks to him. Allowing your daughter to treat another child with disdain will cause greater trouble down the line. Why? They learn that rudeness rules the day, unless you show and tell them otherwise.

Here are a few basics: Require your child’s full attention when you’re talking. Never allow him or her to talk back, or worse, strike you. If you do, you’ll unleash a little monster who will grow more troublesome and tyrannical by the hour.

Show your children good manners in action. Examples work, and good examples work best. Politeness may be a dying art, but so what? You can take steps to cultivate its revival in your family. Live out the Golden Rule and put others first—simple but ever effective.